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Original poster

Double-barrelled surnames!

36 replies

Rachey1969 · 16/09/2005 10:02

Friday morning thoughts! I'm mulling this over and I'd like some opinions please...

Has anyone given their babe one and regretted it later?

Are they cumbersome?

Did you hyphenate or just double up - did this cause problems spelling it/listing it alphabetically etc Did people just use the last name?

Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WideWebWitch · 18/09/2005 07:48

My children are

Ds name, my surname as a middle name, ex dh's surname but could be hyphenated if he/we wanted
dd, my surname-dp's surname hyphenated.
I am Ms the name I've had all my life
dp is Mr the name he's had all his life

so four of us, four different surnames, 2 of them more or less double barrelled.

bubsylocket · 18/09/2005 10:44

Sorry to interrupt ladies but I am so glad that I never double barrelled mine and (now) DH's names when we had our DD as her surname would have been Brown-Parrott !!!!! Think of the poor child !!!

tallulah · 18/09/2005 11:10

We double-barrelled, and all of us- incl DH- are called Myname-Hisname. We did it that way round because the other way made a sentence!

TBH it is a faff. It's so long it doesn't fit on forms, and anything on computer loses the last 2- 4 letters. Officials chose to call us by his name without asking if that's OK, despite the fact that in day-to-day life we all (incl DH) just use mine. We get all sorts of shortenings- like Mrs M-Hisname. Some people file by last name (the rule in the Govt office I work in!) and some by first, so no-one can ever find our records. Whenever the children had appointments through for jabs or clinics the card always said will you bring Hisname for a check, so we'd have to ring and ask which child they wanted!

If we ever had another child (highly unlikely) I'd just give them my name and have done with it

Needless to say that despite DH changing his name by deed poll to this db monstrosity 20 years ago, most of his family (MIL & FIL excluded) still send cards to us using his name only. I can understand them doing it for him-up to a point. What winds me up is that I have never been called Mrs Hisname, and my children are not called Miss/Master Hisname either. I think it is very rude.

edam · 18/09/2005 11:20

Some very formal, old fashioned relatives on both sides of the family address letters to me as Mrs dh-Christian name Surname. As in, eg. Mrs John Smith. Apparently is the correct way to address a married woman but bizarre as I don't actually have dh's surname, let alone use his first name.

At least in formal usage you get your own first name back when you are divorced - to distinguish you from a widow who is still Mrs John Smith.

Lilsis1975 · 18/09/2005 11:21

My ds originally had his father and my name hyphenated. Then when we split and he disappeared off the scene i changed it to just mine. We have just changed it again so now he has his daddy's (my DH) and my name. When i married i kept my surname and just added DH's.

Lilsis1975 · 18/09/2005 11:26

motherinferior,
Sounds a bit like mine and DS's surnames.... both unspellable and un-pronouncable....
He is Albanian and Mine is Polish..... DS has both of them and we both use them both.

Arabica · 18/09/2005 15:49

DS is double-barrelled and proud of it! Loads of double barrels, unpronounceables, and other confusing name issues where we live, so never run into any problems whatsover at doctors or dentists. He can choose to drop one of the surnames later on if he wants to. At the moment he insists he's changing his name to 'Purple Baby Mole' which is a lot more interesting than the names we gave him!

zippitippitoes · 18/09/2005 15:57

Edam is that really true that you shouldn't keep your married surname if you get divorced?

I didn't think you had to go back to your old name surely?

I would have thought you'd have to change it back officially

Original poster

Rachey1969 · 18/09/2005 16:13

You certainly can keep your married name if divorced if you want to, personally I reverted to my maiden name and just had to send copies of my marriage certificate and my decree absolute to all official bodies. You don't have to change it by deed poll. Just be prepared for all the congratulations! People will think you changed your name because you got married not divorced.

OP posts:

edam · 18/09/2005 16:56

Surname's not the issue, zippi. And it's not official - just an entertaining bit of formal (outdated) ettiquette that the correct form of address for a married women is Mrs John Smith, while a divorced woman gets her Christian name back and so can be Mrs Fenella Smith. Widows remain Mrs John Smith.

Moomin · 19/09/2005 16:41

It is a bit of a faff I suppose but on the other hand I'm a bit funny about my surname - in that I don't want it swallowed up into nowhere and I'm proud of it.

Dd has dh's surname and then mine. We didn't hyphenate it on her birth certificate in case she wanted to drop one when she was older but I kind of wish we had now. I suggested to dh that we drop my surname for non-official stuff to do with school but he said he wanted her to have both names and she's very happy with it. I'm a bit worried now about what mummypumpkin said but I'd have thought the registrar would have said something at the time? We're coming up to birth of 2nd baby now so I'll be able to ask registrar when we go to register its birth.

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