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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

surprise for 16yr old pregnant neice

105 replies

debbie2003 · 05/10/2010 21:42

Hi, wondering if anybody had any ideas. My neice is 16 and due to be induced next week or 2. Would really like to give her a nice surprise as i know how hard it is to treat yourself once babys born. Was thinking of a new haircut and meal after. Or arrange some beauty treatment?
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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Iggi999 · 05/10/2010 23:14

Debbie what I mean is that you already had your answer, and you know what suits your own neice better than we do..
I have also told you that I thought some new pyjamas for hospital was a really nice thing to buy.
I think that's far from being bitchy really.

SkylineDrifter · 05/10/2010 23:18

debbie, how sad that you've had such an awful welcome to Mumsnet. I had the same, but persevered.

I think it's a lovely idea to treat your niece before she gives birth - a great haircut, a visit to the cinema or even just out for a meal in a nice restaurant - I'm sure, with an Aunt like you, she'll love whatever you want to give her.

And congratulations on your impending Greataunthood!

Original poster
debbie2003 · 05/10/2010 23:20

Just wondered if anyone had any other ideas that i may not have thought of. Would have been better if u just stuck with pyjamas and scrapped the rest of the needless comments i think which there really was no need for.And in flammatory post buisiness annoys me a little as i am not the sort of person who gets off on starting conflict so feel that i am being judged too! I think i`ll just end it here and head off to netmums.

OP posts:
Original poster
debbie2003 · 05/10/2010 23:21

Thanks skyline :)

OP posts:
laughinglil · 05/10/2010 23:24

another idea debbie is some new make up. Might sound silly but getting a new mascara and some other bits and bobs can cheer a women up at any time!
People are judgemental this is how society is, good luck to your neice, there was no need for the other posts it was a simple question and 'some' people took that opportunity to have a dig and thats not fair.. I doubt you would have had the same reaction if you would have said my neice is 45 and having a baby , I would like to get her a nice present..

banana87 · 06/10/2010 18:00

Pussinjammies SHUT UP. Lecture someone somewhere else. This isn't a thread about birth control for teenagers...Gah. So so rude.

PussinJimmyChoos · 06/10/2010 18:11

I am not lecturing. Merely suggesting a gift idea - in this instance, a sex education book and contraception would not go amiss

Make of that what you will!

CheeseandGherkins · 06/10/2010 18:16

Why assume she doesn't already know about contraception just because she's pregnant? It does come across as slightly patronising tbh.

banana87 · 06/10/2010 18:22

Totally patronizing. And insulting. As if she won't get the same contraception lecture that everyone gets from the midwife and GP after giving birth anyway. Seriously, sling your hook.

PosieParker · 06/10/2010 18:25

Perhaps some time? Time for her to go for a walk...perhaps you could do it in the form of vouchers? I might also suggest a course book, to show her that her life is not over just on pause!! My mother had my sister on her eighteenth birthday, she went on to get her degree and own her own business!!

Long shot but if she's going to bf perhaps a book all about it? Maybe too preachy though!!

colditz · 06/10/2010 18:26

I wouldn't worry about her body, I don't know ANYONE who had a baby under 20 who didn't snap straight back into prebaby jeans. They just do. I did at 22. 25 was a different matter.

When it comes to babies, then as long as you are a physical adult, the younger the better, pregnancy wise.

Socially, it's a different story, so I would be tempted to take her to the pictures and then for a meal.

Bear in mind she won't be as tired as an 8 months pregnant 30 year old, and might want to go out for longer than you would expect!

PosieParker · 06/10/2010 18:27

Puss....would you really welcome a new Mum into the world of parenting with a book about sex ed? Might as well take an abortion book and a 'why the fuck have you ruined your life?' book. This young mother clearly needs support, not judgement. The HV and doctors will be giving her loads of sex ed!

colditz · 06/10/2010 18:29

ohhhh yes, make up vouchers - get her a Touche Eclat!

PosieParker · 06/10/2010 18:29

Oops sorry OPI see you meant before she has the baby!! Hair is a lovely idea, movies, dinner, nails, massage....ooooh yes a massage.

planner26 · 06/10/2010 18:32

debbie2003 I think that is such a nice thought. I would second the nice jamas or a big, fluffy dressing gown for when baby is here for midnight winter feeds :) Best of luck to her.

buttonmoon78 · 06/10/2010 18:37

Another thread where some of the responses given to the OP make me Angry

I had a baby at 19, I knew about contraception, was on the pill and didn't miss any.

The same thing happened when I was 29. I STILL knew all about contraception.

This baby may or may not have been planned but to discuss the perceived ignorance of the OP's niece is innappropriate under the circumstances.

Perhaps all you judgy people would like to lobby the government to raise the age of consent. After all, if you're old enough to have sex then you're old enough to have a baby. It is not ideal and it is not what I would want for my children but that is a simple fact. If this is not the case then we should be forcing girls to use contraception up to an age where society deems them old enough to be parents.

There was a stupid poll last Friday and until today (when I have seen several Shocking responses and comments) I defended MNet to the nth degree.

I would've been happy with any of the ideas floated here TBH. Reminding an expectant mother that she is also a woman is lovely whatever her age.

buttonmoon78 · 06/10/2010 18:38

Meant to say about forcing contraception... This is not what I think, just that I'm following an expressed train of thought to it's logical destination!

phipps · 06/10/2010 18:43

The OP's niece might have planned the baby...

Treat wise - something before the baby is born maybe? You offering to babysit? Meals in the freezer?

BustleInYourHedgerow · 06/10/2010 18:45

I felt perfume was the best present I got. When you're covered in baby sick and haven't left the house all day at least you can have a spritz and smell nice. With the hair voucher, sounds like a nice idea, but maybe include a 'babysitting' voucher for when she's getting her hair done?

On another note, a lot of these comments were unnecessarily bitchy. Who is anybody on this website to judge a 16 year old who is about to have a baby? If she were to post here in a months time asking for advice on feeding/sleeping and feeling at the end of her tether I would hope that she would'nt come across such patronizing remarks. I'm talking about you, PussinJimmyChoos. Which, by the way, is a shit name. (That's my bitchy, patronizing remark for the day!)

PhillipeVonRumple · 06/10/2010 18:51

LOL Debbie - this is such a typical mumsnet thread!
You sound like a lovely Aunty - clearly the contraception and condom route is both insulting and a bit late! I'm sure the whole pregnancy and baby will hit home the necessity of contraception.
I think a haircut and meal would be fab or a pedicure (since you can't reach your toes comfortably). I'd say no to the cinema because by that stage I wouldn't have been able to sit that long through (I speak from irritated experience, I still don't know what happened in the Matrix 3 - or maybe that's just because it was shite).

Ignore the sanctimonious people on here they may be right about education but this isn't the time or the place she needs support and pampering from her Aunty not lecturing and judging.

lucielooo · 06/10/2010 19:31

Can't believe some of the replies to the OP... SO rude Angry

Think a treat for your niece is a lovely idea and a nice way of showing your support. Would second the idea that something for her perfume/hair cut is a lovely idea :)

ChocolateMoose · 06/10/2010 19:38

I really don't think some of these comments are helpful. It's the equivalent of answering the question "My wife's a size 20, I'd like to get her some nice clothes for her birthday, where can I get them?" with the response "Get her a diet book instead."

Not much more to suggest on presents though, sorry.

daisystone · 06/10/2010 19:40

I agree, something like an aromatherapy massage or a facial would be lovely.

Or tickets to the theatre (or show or gig) or the cinema.

Very thoughtful of you.... I wish someone would treat me to a massage! x

lucielooo · 06/10/2010 19:48

If you go for the aromatherapy massage (or maybe other beauty treatment) let them know she's pregnant though as some you can't have.

cluelessnchaos · 06/10/2010 19:55

What a lovely auntie, yes its a typical thread, most good posts some bad. I agree get her a treat for this side of things her head will be mince after the baby arrives and she will appreciate you coming round with a film and a bumper bag of doritos when she has had it, she is going to need a lot of support but sounds like she has some loving family around her.