surprise for 16yr old pregnant neice

[debbie2003]

Hi, wondering if anybody had any ideas. My neice is 16 and due to be induced next week or 2. Would really like to give her a nice surprise as i know how hard it is to treat yourself once babys born. Was thinking of a new haircut and meal after. Or arrange some beauty treatment?
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I got several new pairs of discreet pyjamas for bf in hospital (then you just end up with your top off anyway!) that is a nice thing to buy.

I think the baby might be a surprise enough. No one can possibly argue that children having other children at age 16 is a good thing. I agree with pussinjimmychoos.

Pussinjimmychoos- sorry, I really don't mean to come on here all guns blazing! I guess I'm very defensive as my mum was a teenage mum... I'm now 31 and I'm so so proud of everything she did for us {smile}

Sheesh, don't you think it's a bit late for all the judging?

How about a special night out, say the cinema and a nice meal? that will be pretty difficult once the baby comes.

and of course once the baby comes, a thorough review of contraception is a good idea (no matter how young!)

Good luck to your niece

Pussin I am guessing your first comment was meant to be funny.. And maybe your second about having a second child, was a bit of back peddling and trying to add some weight to your stance.
However, anyone of any age can have an unplanned pregnancy, and this girl may be a fantastic mum, but how is she going to succeed if people are so instantly negative?

Even if it was planned, does not mean she isn't going to do well she obviously has a lot going for her as she has at least one supportive family member.

No, I am not talking about people being educated as in academically. I mean with regards to sex education because, as I have stated, we do have the highest rates of teenage pregnancy

Thankyou Scruffy. Who is anyone to judge? We all have baggage, each different, and this baggage affects all our decisions in a different way. A baby will be born soon and looking forwards is all anyone can do to give them both the best start. At 16 it will be hard there is no doubting. Even more reason for her to get extra help and support and loving.

I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, but I don't think there is any harm in acknowledging that it isn't ideal to start a family so young.

Mama - I take my hat off to your Mum, I really do. For every woman like her though, there are many others for whom a baby so young means the end of other dreams and potentially many years of struggle.

debbie - I think a haircut would be lovely.

This is a soft spot for me and I am grumpy anyway, so I am going to bed.

Leave off Puss. She's buddies with me (on FB, I'll have you know ) and I'm a young mum, so she's not some mega-judgemental cow; she is pointing out the truths.

I find it sad personally when you hear about mums having multiple children before they are even out of their teens. Its very common, a case of either once again making a mistake, or thinking "Well I've started my family now, might as well finish it...". Either way its rather depressing, TBH. And the sad fact is that most mums under 18ish (IME there is a big difference between the mums I have met at around 18, and those around 16) tend not to finish their education, do not contemplate breastfeeding, tend to focus all their attention on providing shiny things like a nice buggy and lots of toys instead of thinking of the practical things a baby needs, are at higher risk of PND / PNP, are less likely to be in a supportive meaningful relationship, and the children are at higher risk of neglect. None of which are nice facts, but they are true. There will of course always be exceptions to the rule, but there you go.

Yes, get her something nice and totally un-baby related. A nail varnish in a colour she doesn't have, a boxset she likes, Body Shop vouchers... Something to use on herself. I'd be cautious of arranging any type of papering session, simply because when you're heavily pregnant sometimes the idea of someone fussing over your feet / hands / where ever, can make you either creeped out or irrationally angry. Maybe check with her first?

Hope everything goes well for her.

I am not saying that teenage mums are not good mums. That has been an automatic assumption on the part of other posters.

I stand by my post that sex education and contraception is required - yes it was slightly tongue in cheek but with a serious undertone.

There are far too many teenaged pregnancies -yes mistakes happen blah blah, but honestly, its really getting out of control

I am not saying we shouldn't give support or nice gifts - it goes without saying that a child is coming into the world and it deserves love, attention and for its mum to have support - and clearly as an Auntie you will be providing that

But...sex education and contraceptive advice would not be a bad idea..but this is just my opinion

We are a public forum after all

Well, whilst we're acknowledging 16 might not be a good age to start a family, perhaps we could also acknowledge that the OP's original question was NOT asking for people's judgements on her niece's situation; it was in fact asking about what nice thing she could do for her before her baby is born. I'm sure both the OP and her niece are well aware of teenage pregnancy statistics and contraception! Christ on a bike, ladies; how about a bit of solidarity? Unplanned pregnancy happens!

Debbie will you be my auntie. I'm due in April :o

Thanks Alibaba...- and I agree with what you're saying, but I think it depends on the woman not necessarily her age. On the flip side, my mum was the youngest of 5 and my nan was in her late 40's when she had her ( the war had a lot to do with it), but although they had a lovely relationship, my mum felt she missed out on alot having an older mum.... It hits her hard most now as sadly both her parents are no longer with us and my mum is only 47. She feels sad that she didn't have longer with her mum.
I really think that as fellow mums we should all support each other as we have such a rewarding but tough job....{smile}

Thanks Boobs

I did say it was a bit tongue in cheek but I do stand by my opinion that sex education and contraception is required and I personally think that's not a bad thing to do - we should be doing more of it instead of worrying about what is the pc/non pc way to approach the subject

LOL Lis hopefully i will be expecting another myself then and hopefully someone will pamper me hmm

sirboobalot....... very very judgmental......
Op- I think you are a lovely auntie and wish your neice and her baby well for the future.

Actually OP I think you knew that mentioning her age would be inflammatory - if its so irrelevant, why mention it?

Puss I agree entirely. I wouldn't change DS for the world now, he is wonderful and has made me a better person in so many ways, but I do wish I had been older when he had arrived, so that (health considerations aside) I was able to provide for him without worrying about money etc like I do now. Obviously there is no guarantee that 10 years down the line I will be recovered and working full time, but still; you get my point.

MamaLeMay, just reflecting on what I have seen, and what I have heard from health professionals.

SirBoob - i really didn`t expect this. Its my first time on mumsnet. I only mentioned her age cos thought people would realise that she needs an extra special treat cos of all she will have to put up with so young - with baby and other peoples judgements! and much tougher on the body too at that age - why i thought a massage might be good. For no other reason. In fact the nasty, judgemental comments i have received from some has surprised me on a site like this and i will not be posting again. But thankyou for all those who made constructive comments to my original question. Bye

Actually may be a relief for you (and her) to know that the body is much better at coping with pregnancy and birth under the age of twenty, and there is a much lower EMCS / general medical intervention rate.

Maybe you should try Netmums? There is a young parents / parents to be section on there that you may find more helpful with suggestions if you haven't received the response you were looking for here.

Boobs that is true - the OP need not have mentioned the age - that is partly why I was a bit sceptical. An inflammatory post as a first post will always raise my eyebrows, and if that makes me a cynical old cow then so be it.

I suppose given the complete reconstruction of her world the young woman is about to go through, a question about getting a haircut does seem a bit trivial. And a bit redundant actually, as the OP already has a decent idea herself.
I also think she is more likely to need the support of her family after the child is born.

Inflammatory post!!??? Perhaps i`m getting too old for this! I mentioned age as i stated the reason above pure and simple. This is quite unbelievable. Is this commen practice on this site? My friend suggested i post on here for some ideas. She said the people tended to be really helpful

I only asked a simple question and alot of you seem to be over-analysing my post. Sorry Iggi if you feel my post wasnt worth posting, i should have consulted u first. Just showed all this to my husband who is shocked and said - cant some girls be soo bitchy - sums it all up really!