excuses for not drinking

[bessie26]

I just found out I'm pg , but we're off to visit SIL this weekend. She is a BIG wine drinker & I will get interrogated questions about why I'm not drinking anything... has anyone got any good excuses they could share with me?

I've started low-carbing recently, and I swear if I have even one glass of wine I feel horrific the next day. So maybe if you said you are counting your calories/low-carbing (easier said than done as you'd then have to stick to it the rest of the weekend!) then she would accept the excuse?

Hi bessie

I had a similar problem. I have never been teetotal unless driving or monstrously hungover

I had 3MCs and didn't want to tell anyone about this pregnancy until we were quite a long way down the line (now 30 weeks so not really possible to keep it from anyone!).

I did something similar to thumbs suggestion (great name by the way - amusingly appropriate ref to withnail and i on a topic about booze...). I told them that I had seen a prof (which was true, but you could change to GP?) and that he had said strictly no booze when TTC. I would still end up with the odd friend telling me "just have one" but I think that if you look serious then they will back off - I presume that she knows about the previous MC? If so, she is likely to be sensitive to that even if she thinks you are being over cautious.

Congrats by the way and good luck with everything!

Oh I had this same problem 2 weekends on the trot - went to a festival and I am know for being a getting a little drunk when we go (yearly event) - but this year I just carried a can round with - yes I sipped at it now and again and then would chuck it away! I did get some funny looks when i disappeared and came back with a cup of tea! I just said - oh I really fancied a cuppa! Then the following weekend friends came to stay - I just said I was feeling a bit dodgy (brought some less than 1% cider). I also cooked for everyone the next day so did keep saying I didn?t want to have mega hangover the next day!! It is tricky! Previously after had ectopic preg was not allowed to drink due to the medication I was given and it was my 30th Birthday party!! I had wine (a dash) and filled it with lemonade or had coke and said vodka and coke ? once people start to get drunk they don?t even realised!! I wish you lots of luck with this one - may it stick and stay xx

One that really worked for was my husband not drinking! Of course, that takes a saintly husband (I'm lucky), but no one thinks a guy is pregnant, right? So he said that he couldn't drink because of some meds that were hard on his liver, and then I said I was supporting him by not drinking as "I know it's hard to be the only non-drinker at a social event..."

100% of our friends believed us.

tejas this is obvuiously not relevant for the OP, but I just wanted to comment that there is no way my darling husband would ever do that. It made me smile though. Even though it is no longer relevant, I might tell him about that for next time. What a lovely bloke you have. (Mine is also completely gorgeous, but he didn't/doesn't feel the need to support me by not drinking. He just likes me being nominated driver!)

Congratulations Bessie

Haven't read all the replies so this might have been suggested, but couldn't you just say that you are trying to get pregnant?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I completely see where you are coming from and it is going to be nearly impossible in a small family situation like this.
Not sure how you can get your own drinks all the time if at someone else house.
Do they know about previous MC's? If so I would think they will guess what is gonig on if you don't drink.
The day I found out I was PG this time I went up to London for a night out with my sis (booked weeks before) - as soon as I said the words, I'm not drinking tonight (I was going to tell her, knew it would be obvious) her eyes lit up with that knowing look......
Try any of the above, they will probably guess but as they won't be 100% certain then hopefully they won't say anything to others.
Sorry not to be more helpful, I just think at certain times in your life people are on the constant look out for signs sadly!

tejas That is utterly brilliant. We have a family.wedding when I'll be 10+5 so still too early to tell anyone and I was stressing out about what to do. DP is going to be upset though - yours must be a saint.

I have thought of a clever variation to TejasGal 's plan for the less saintly husband. Say Dh isn't drinking. He'll have a coke thanks..and then you have a vodka coke.. then do a switcheroo! Only works if Dh doesn't get hammered obviously

In the end I said that I didn't really drink anymore as it just made me too tired and no more was said!

No doubt she suspects, but nothing was said so I didn't have to deal with any awkward questions!

Thanks for all the suggestions. Tejas you must be a very kind person, none of my friends would ever believe I wasn't drinking to "support" DH!

There's so much speculation going on in our group of friends about who might be pregnant next that it's become almost obligatory to down some strong liquor early on in a night out to stop the rumour mill in it's tracks! I totally sympathise!

LibbertyGibbet - You didn't come across as sanctimonious, but the OP is right. It's not that there's pressure to drink so much that if you usually do drink in a given situation (e.g. a dinner party at the weekend) people will wonder if you don't. It's not that they'll be annoyed at the not drinking as that it will probably prompt them to guess at things they don't want you to guess at.

And, for the record, there's only a small proportion of my friends I wouldn't wonder about if they didn't drink at a dinner party! Perhaps I hang out with heavier drinker than you?!

just say that you're worried that your drinking is becoming too regular and that you're doing an experiment to see if you can go for a month without drinking, to test whether you're getting dependent. That way no-one will dare hassle you to drink.

I find it quite sad that you can not just say no without questions.

I think it is easiest just to accept a drink then either:

• sip it very slowly
• swap it with your partner
• pour a little down the sink
• say you're just taking it slow
• say you're a little tired and it has gone to your head

Easier than making excuses, and there's no harm in drinking a teeny bit of wine.

I'm going to a wedding with some of our friends who are all big drinkers. Told my DH to mention in passing that I've had tooth problems and won't be drinking.

Now, after reading this, I'm thinking that that's gonna be a bit obvious so gonna say that I'm at the end of my course so I might have a few later on (then do a swap, have a coke say its a a vodka and coke etc).

I'm sure somebody will figure it out but as long as they don't go on about it I won't mind.

i told people that 1) i have a severe bladder infection and had high fever a day before (and had to go to an ER)and now am taking anti-biotics, or 2) i have had a terrible flu with an ear infection and am now taking anti-biotics for 10 days, or 3) had a food poisoning yesterday and am not taking it easy (requires staying off some food too ), or 4) doing a detox program (i am a yogi, so people know i do these from time to time , they think i am weird, but i do not care ). i think if you opt for options 1)-3) it is better that you start faking your illness before you get to their place that way no one would suspect anything...

I don't know what I was worried about, it was fine at the wedding.

I drank slim line tonic which comes in the mini bottles so they tend to put it in a short glass and nobody suspected! Had one sip of champers when we toasted the happy couple and then swaped my glass with DH.

Luckily I'm quite a chatty person anyway so probably didn't appear particulary sober. One of my friends said that talking to me was making him feel drunker- huh!

Lilly13 your excuses sound good but I'd be worried about giving it away when they asked me some details, but early faking of an illness is a good idea.