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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

"I'm not being rude but ...

157 replies

yama · 16/07/2010 18:00

... your're HUGE!" said the cheery man working in Hamleys as I entered this afternoon.

I said "actually, that is rather rude." He carried on with "Do you know what you're having?"

I'm only 34 weeks and I've had comments from strangers for months.

I mean, under what other circumstances is it appropriate to comment on the size of a woman's body?

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JimJammum · 22/07/2010 20:34

I am a size 8 and cannot tell you how many times people say to me "You're so skinny" or something similar (even though I don't think I am). I wonder why they don't think it's offensive to comment on my body shape, when I wouldn't dream of saying to someone "you're so fat". It seems like, pregnant or not, some people feel like they are an expert on other people's bodies.

Eve4Walle · 22/07/2010 20:47

My midwife was stitching me up after having had an episiotomy with DD and she said to my DH 'don't worry love, you won't notice any difference down there as I've put a few more stitches in'.

EmmaTulip · 22/07/2010 20:47

I was signed off sick, and virtually housebound, during my entire pregnancy (from 7wks), and I REALLY missed the social aspect of going to work; but having read this thread I'm know thinking 'every cloud has a silver lining'! Thank goodness I didn't have to suffer any rude strangers.

The worst was made to a collegue of mine who is tall, slender and always wears high heals. A total stranger in the shape of a very old man just walked up to her when she was very pregnant and still in heals and told her she was "disgusting". WTF!!!

P.S. My 5 wks old is lovely and I'm not sick any more. It was all baby hormones.

darksideofthemooncup · 22/07/2010 20:52

When I was pregnant everytime I went into one particular shop one of the sales assistants (who was on the large side herself and not pregnant) would shriek 'oh my god you are HUGE' or 'I see you've been eating for two then' and various other inappropriate comments. I would just smile and try to ignore but it did get to me.

The last day of work before I went on maternity leave I popped in and she said 'my god you look as if you are about to BURST' So I looked her up and down and said 'so do you' Turned on my heel and walked out. Totally out of character for me I blame the hormones!

DancingOnMyBladder · 22/07/2010 21:10

Wearing my lovely pink top today i got told by a mum at the school that i look like mr greedy

preghead · 22/07/2010 22:05

Rude bitch!

A woman said "get out of the way you fat bitch" to me once when I was about 8m pregnant and hit me with her umbrella. For once I got a reasonable retort out - I said "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant, what's your excuse for being a rude bitch" and threw her umbrella down the escalator!

I think she might have had ishoos.

Other 2 pg's it's just the usual oh my god you're so massive etc etc comments that get a bit tiresome.

PictureThis · 22/07/2010 22:23

I was a size 18 before I became pregnant so was very conscious of my size anyway. When I got to about 32 weeks pregnant, a colleague of mine said I looked like a telly tubby, my dad said I looked like a galleon in full sail! and complete strangers felt it was perfectly acceptable to say 'My God you're huge. Are you sure you're not having twins?' In the end I got so sick of people saying how big I was I actually lied and said I was further on than I was.

I can safely say I hated being pregnant. At what other time do people feel free to make offensive comments whilst groping your tummy?... and that's just complete strangers

elsiepiddock · 22/07/2010 22:34

A colleague said to me, 'you must be having a girl; I've never seen your bottom so huge!

Still rankles now! Esp as I only put on 1.5 stone and had 9lb 3oz baby!

My sister had, 'haven'y you had that baby yet?'. Baby was 6 weeks old

Faddles · 22/07/2010 23:44

I was very pregnant and waiting in a queue when a little boy asked me why I was so fat. I told him it was because I had a baby in my tummy. Feeling a bit fed up with the public's apparent 'right to know' all of my personal info because I was pregnant, I went on to ask him if he knew how the baby got in there.
He shook his head.
I told him that I ate it.

No more questions, comments or looks. Peace

VoluptuousLife · 23/07/2010 00:38

"Aww you look nice and plump" i was a prepregnancy size 8...I became a size 16 during preggers.
This ofcourse was during a time of great depression when life's only pleasure was quenching my ever rumbling stomach!

anonMum2 · 23/07/2010 07:47

Not actually noticed any rude comments. Have had people say how big and fat I am but have never taken it to heart.

Since I've been pregnant myself, I'm one of those who comments on people's bumps, people I have known for a while I mean. Just because it's now of interest to me and I genuinely enjoy talking to people about their pregnancy. Sorry all you ladies for people like me. I'll try not to comment again.

remindmelater · 23/07/2010 08:08

i was waiting at some pedestrian crossing lights when a car zoomed past and someone shouted "YOU FAT B*TCH"

Also i'm short and small and i'm told i don't look my 30 years (unless you look closely!!), i was waiting in a queue and a man in his late fifties pointedly looked me up and down in complete disgust, tutted and muttered "youngsters"

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 23/07/2010 08:17

When I told my boss (partner of a law firm) I was pregnant, at 13 weeks, he said:

"I did think your boobs had got bigger, but I didn't like to mention it".

No, well that would be because it's a horrendously inappropriate thing to say, you twat.

MistyB · 23/07/2010 09:36

I had to bite my tongue really hard when a someone who sat opposite me at work said "You really have gotten quite big, quite quickly, haven't you?"

I really wanted to say, "Yes, but in 4 months, I'll get smaller again and you will still be fat and bald" - but that would have been socially unacceptable!!

curlimum · 23/07/2010 10:21

I was walking through the middle of town, 20 something weeks pg, when an annoying man with a clipboard stopped me to tell me some rubbish or other...he then said 'oh look you're pregnant' and then 'can i touch it?'
when i said no! he got upset and asked me why, as if i was being unreasonable!

i told him, i dont even let my friends touch my tummy, so why should i let a perfect stranger grab me?
how does your bump suddenly become public property for everyone to fondle as they wish??

grr, i was steaming for days over that!

Amberc · 23/07/2010 10:24

I was once told on the tube by a completely random man that I was going to give birth in the next few days. I was only about 8 months pregnant at that time. He told me he was a doctor and had delivered loads of babies before and I was definitely going to drop. I was almost expecting him to come up and touch me he was such a fooking weirdo!

gumblossom · 23/07/2010 10:53

I had so many of those "Oh my God you are HUGE!" and "you must have two in there", comments, which really started to upset me. When I left work, in my farewell speech, I said I was really glad to be leaving as I was so sick of their stupid comments about my size.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I particularly hated the shop assistant asking, when DS was 1, "when are you due?".I was NOT pregnant at the time, and was quite mortified, so, did a quick tally in my head and said "July" which was about 6 months away. Why do people ask, it really is none of their business, and can be quite hurtful?After 5 babies I do have a mummy tummy, but don't need to be reminded!

My MIL loved telling me after every baby that she fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans the day she left hospital. God, I hated that...

threestars · 23/07/2010 12:48

I did alot of ebaying when pregnant and the post office man always boggled his eyes when I'd walk in and stare at my bump.
The closer I came to the due date, he'd start sniggering too. I really don't think he could cope with it! I'd just smile at him and say "yeah, big bump, huh?".
I found his reaction funny as it was so inappropriate.

whatname · 23/07/2010 12:51

why is it so offensive?!!
i think a fair few people said it to me, didn't bother me, and i was size 16 to begin with, so I could have been really self conscious
Actually pregnancy was probably the only time I didn't feel selfconscious about my size. loved being fat and it being justified!!! (i wasn't actually that fat!)

YellowDaffodil · 23/07/2010 13:07

A woman said to me I was huge in the supermarket, I said so are you (she wasn't pregnant) it was very unreasonable and rude of me but in my defence my ankles were swelled up like beach balls at the time! Plus I'm a bitch.

LibraryLil · 23/07/2010 13:08

I loved hearing all these comments when they were made to me, but then I'd waited 14 years to hear them, so whatever they said to me I was ecstatically glad because it meant that I Was Pregnant At Last!

And I only wish that I could hear them all again! But OH is saying no to us trying again with the two frozen embryos, so I never will.

katechristie · 23/07/2010 14:12

I was in a green grocers buying some veg at 8 months pg (DD was 9lb 9oz, so fairly large bump) and made a comment to the shop keeper about eating healthy for the children, when all I wanted was chocolate at the moment - he said "how old are your grandchildren???" -Ika said "I'm 8 months pregnant!" and walked out. I too hated the fat comments, but would have preferred one at that moment - so I just looked like a very fat 60 year old, rather than a pregnant 36 yr old!!!

lilmissmummy · 23/07/2010 14:16

I was pregnant with my dd and had my ds (4) and my friends ds (2) with me in the post office. I have always looked young for my age and 2 old ladies in the queue behind me commented about "bloody teenage mums should be in school not popping out babies!"

Even if I had been a teenage mum who would have given them the right!!

This time round not too bad except for dh who calls me buddha, daisy the cow and a beached whale! but affectionately so I dont mind!

Doodleydoo · 23/07/2010 17:24

Someone has just shouted "Bitty" at me at the service station. Twat.

londonkiwi · 23/07/2010 18:56

I am 37 weeks pregnant and totally agree that it is irritating and hurtful to comment on the size of a woman's bump - I am so sick of it. For people who think we are being "oversensitive", why is it suddenly okay to comment on a woman's body just because she is pregnant? There is no other time that it's okay to make personal comments about someone's size. And as has been said, what makes someone an expert on whether someone else is measuring 'big' or 'small' for dates? Size of bump is due to many factors so it is ridiculous to expect everyone to be a uniform size