"I'm not being rude but ...

[yama]

... your're HUGE!" said the cheery man working in Hamleys as I entered this afternoon.

I said "actually, that is rather rude." He carried on with "Do you know what you're having?"

I'm only 34 weeks and I've had comments from strangers for months.

I mean, under what other circumstances is it appropriate to comment on the size of a woman's body?

I got asked if I was having twins. I used to respond with "I do hope not, since they only found one heartbeat". That tends to shut them up pretty quick.

Some of these rude quips are very funny, honey.
A pregnant friend of mine heard a 4 year old say in a shop.

"Mummy, is that lady having a big litter?"

Presumably her parents kepts cats or pigs.

Most adults would never think of making a personal comment to a preggers lady. (when sober)

When pregnant with my DS, I got told by my (overweight) male neighbour that I looked like a weeble! Then he added but don't worry 'weebles wobble but they don't fall down'! I was not impressed....

I never had a massive bump, and never got a pregnancy glow, so people would say to me 'you look really peaky' 'Your so pale' or my boss at the time who used to tell me every day 'you look bloody awful, and really tired' - didnt stop her asking me to do 12 hour days full of shite paperwork though!

A mum at the school gate said to me last year when I was pg:

Her: Ooh, not long now then?

Me: Actually I've got about another three months to go...

Her: Really?!!!, is it twins?

Me: Yes

Her: (embarrassed now and stumbling over her words a bit) So, did you always want a big family?

Me: Errrm I didn't choose twins you know ....

I seriously think that some people just think it is OK to put pg women down, like it is some sort of sport. Hardly anyone said anything nice to me last time .

DH's nan spent my entire 2nd pregnancy asking me if I was absolutely certain it wasn't twins. She would also rub my bump every fucking time she saw me - I wanted to snap her arm off.

My worst was at 8 months pregnant. "'allo muvva! fancy anuvva?"

Nah not with you, you dirty little chav...

Aside from that my ex DP's mate kept yelling "oi! fatty! When's it due?" one week after the birth when we went to the pub to wet the baby's head. Git.

Yep the joys of pregnancy. Every time I saw my fil he felt the need to use words like huge, massive, enormous etc. I finally snapped one day, think he got quite a shock actually

When I came back after the summer (am in teaching), proudly showing off my beautiful 5 month bump, a male colleague said, 'O, you're pregnant! Are you going to keep it?'
I have never forgiven him!

I'm dreading telling my colleagues that I'm pregnant as there's one bloke who always takes it too far - when our admin lady was pregnant, he spent the whole last six months shouting 'did you forget to plug in the vibrator then?' across the office at her [hmmm] Hilarious, not.

At 34 weeks now I am measuring 3 weeks large for my dates, so am big. I'm a pretty laid back person but a couple of comments from a girl at work narked me to be honest:

"Do you feel like a total beached whale then?" and
"You must feel like the fattest person in the world? You must hate it"

Another woman at work bit her head off for those comments saying "She's beautiful- more beautiful than ever now that she's pregnant".

This is my first and I've been really surprised on how you are suddenly public property where EVERYONE wants to comment on your size "you're huge". It's blatantly rude and let's face it, it really does state the bleedin obvious!

I've bitten my tongue until now but as I get more cranky towards the end of the pregnancy I can see me lashing out!!

I got all the 'oh you're huge' comments (I was!) but they they all pale in comparison to bumping into an old school friend at a mum and baby group. Convo went like this:

Old mate: So how many children have you got then?

Me: One - that one over there - and another one on the way.

OM (excited): Oh!!! I thought you had, I was looking at you just now when you were standing side on to me and I thought you were pregnant. That's fab how far along are you?

Me: Errrr. 6 weeks.

Long pause.

OM: Oh lovely. Um, yeah, your hair looks nice and you look really well errr so that's why thought you were pregnant....(trails off)

Not sure who was more embarrassed!!

Am 35 weeks and was playing a game with my two year old nephew at the weekend where we all took it in turns to sing a song.

When asked what song he thought I should sing he gave me a long look and then said, "Humpty Dumpty", well I had to laugh at that one

A few days before my son was born, I was standing in queue at M&S and some ignorant woman behind me said "when's the elephant due?" I regret not telling her where to go.

My lovely DP would often call me the 'Fat Controller' as he thought I was very demanding with my requests!

I work in a shop the "Oh my god, you're massive" (I've never seen you before in my life) wore rather thin and can recall countless days of coming home and crying to DP. (who always looked rather shocked at the prospect of me opening the door in floods of tears!)

I don't know where people think they have the right to talk about you as if you are not in the room as they when you're pregnant.

Having saying that, I still get "are you pregnant?" and "when's it due" and the comment back of "no, i'm just fat" (5' 8", 11 st) goes straight over peoples heads......

I wouldn't comment on someones weight gain/loss at ALL as for as far I know, there might be a bloody good reason behind it..

The mantra...."I'm not fat, I'm pregnant" worked for a bit

Oh dear, I am only 9 months along with my first and tend to be frank with people who are ticking me off (love your come-backs Chrysanthemum5)...do pregnant ladies get excused for thumping rude people!?!
Is it true that people think they have the right to come up and touch you?...it seems you either get groped or insulted-this does not bode well!

No-one ever made personal comments to me about my appearance throughout my 3 teenage pregnancies in the 60s.
It's good that people are more open these days, but when did pregnant women become public property?
I must admit that I'm full of admiration for anyone who has an apt swift retort to inappropriate/offensive remarks, but agree with the advice to ignore them, & focus on happier experiences.

Well today I had another pregnant woman telling me I looked huge! Apparently I looked so much bigger than her and she's due three weeks before me!

I didn't point out to her that in my view she was just as big as me, and had more bloody weight on her face too thanks very much!

But I was very tempted. 5 minutes later I was being measured as bang on dates...

muriel - in fairness, a colleague spotted me as pregnant at about 7 weeks on account of my bum and boobs which got bigger overnight! (As another friend said: when you know what you're looking for...)

I think i offended a woman by my very presence in M and S yesterday.
Not only only did she stare for ages before exclaiming how huge i am(which is true), she followed this up with
'and so very, very SHORT!!!'.

Now, I am 4ft 8, so this is hardly news to me. And I have had all the height comments going (and the pissed off faces when i don't roll around laughing at the wit).

But the way she said it made me feel like a circus freak.

Stupid, tall, rude woman!!

Someone at work did they 'oh my God you are huge' thing to me today, so I said, looking very serious and speaking very slowly, 'well, I am growing a baby, you see, which is currently this big [made size with hands', and a placenta, which is about this big [made shape again], and I'm also carrying quite a lot of amniotic fluid - about this much - and then I have to fit my internal organs in as well, and so they all have to go somewhere, and that's why women who are pregnant look bigger in the middle than other people.'

That shut them up, I can tell you. They looked a bit sick as they walked away.

I don't think people usually mean to be rude, they are probably trying to be friendly and amusing.

ChocolateMoose - 'How are you feeling?' can also go wrong.

A female colleague asked me this. I said 'tired' and she then said 'Well it's your own fault for getting pregnant.'

I didn't really mind but those within earshot were a bit . I did wonder why she bothered asking.

I too have had the weeble comment but I'm not entirely sure what a weeble is.

When I was expecting DS1 one of my midwife colleagues palpated my bump and said "Oh, you don't feel as big as you look . . . . "

Thanks sister.