"I'm not being rude but ...

[yama]

... your're HUGE!" said the cheery man working in Hamleys as I entered this afternoon.

I said "actually, that is rather rude." He carried on with "Do you know what you're having?"

I'm only 34 weeks and I've had comments from strangers for months.

I mean, under what other circumstances is it appropriate to comment on the size of a woman's body?

My father told me I looked like a tellytubbie.

By the end I would reply to anything vaguely offensive with a breezy 'Sorry, I am only accepting compliments today'.

I am 25 weeks ( I think,I keep getting muddled!) and regularly get told I am huge and tiny on the same day...... My favourite being the endless comments from my mum asking if the baby is ok and am I sure? because I am not big enough.

This is coming from the woman who told me I was already damaging my heart with my obesity when I told her i was pregnant. I am 5ft 7 and over a winter of laziness and greed had crept up to a size 14 from my usual size 12.

Is it acceptable for my husband to be making Beep Beep forklift references in public or private? (33 weeks, not especially huge or tiny)...

ethelina if he's bugging you ask him to cut your toenails for you as you are sooo huge you can no longer reach that'll shut him up

The woman at work said you look huge for 4 months - I actually do not - annoys me that everyone seems to think they can comment on your changing body!!! oh I knew your were pregnant as you have gained weight - umm thanks alot!! I am still wearing my size 10 jeans!!! grrllll.. like me saying don't you look old for 50! I sort of laugh and get angry all at once!

I just told the strangers that I wasn't pregnant!! That shut them up!

I am 4 weeks pregnant and accidentally came across this thread while I was over stressing about my newly discovered pregnancy. So I would like to say a massive THANK YOU!! to all of you who have given me a good 20 minutes of laughing and giggling. I wonder if I will still find it funny in a few months time

I'm glad it's not only me who has to go through this!! Almost everyday the office nutjob tells me that I'm not going to be able to carry my baby for much longer as I'm too big..what does she expect me to do for the next 9 weeks before he's due? oh and she came over to my desk yesterday to tell me I looked swollen!!

One thing I have noticed since being "obviously pregnant" that really grinds on me are the looks I have off some women, one woman looked at me in utter disgust the other day and I just can't work out why!

Thanks Mum2oneloudbaby, will also suggest he massages, files and paints them...

I was never offended by being told I was huge (and, to be fair, I was huge, especially with DS where I was regularly measuring 5 weeks ahead) but it does get wearisome having the same conversation again and again and again. Fortunately DS was a fairly big baby so when I was pregnant with DD and someone made an "aren't you huge?" comment I'd smile and say "Yes, my first was 10lb 5oz and they do say second babies are bigger." and they generally shut up about twins.

My favourite comment was in around September/October when I was pregnant with DS someone asked when I was due and when I said "January" looked startled and said "What next January?" as though I was soooooo huge that being 9 months overdue already was a more likely explanation.

I think part of it is that most people very rarely see an actual 9-months-pregnant woman, so their mental image of someone who is very, very pregnant is actually of a 7- or 8-month bump.

My worst one was waiting in a very long queue in a shop when two women behind me started talking in some graphic detail about how the daughter of one of them had gone to her 20 week scan only to find out the baby had died... The topic obviously arose because they saw my bump and I found it quite insensitive. I should have turned around and said so. What they didn't know was that I was way past 20 weeks, more like 34, but with a very neat bump. If I'd been around 20 weeks I'd have freaked. It still astonishes me that women who have had their own children forget how unwelcome scary stories are when you are pregnant.

I'm officially as large as I would be if I were expecting twins (approx 2 months bigger than expected) but only have 1 normally sized baby and 3 large fibroids. I'm rather conscious of the size of my bump, but don't mind people commenting on how large I am if it's done with sympathy or humour(which is the case most of the time). What I object to is when they start saying my bump is small or neat (I'm 27 weeks and look like I'm due to pop any moment), which it clearly isn't. If they haven't got anything truthful to say, why bother? I know some only want to show they are interested, but there's plenty more nice things they can say, or be honest about my size and offer me some sympathy!

• just cope with it by a wry smile and know you are carrying a wonderful bundle of joy - does anything else really matter??

One of my friends said to me this morning "Wow, you're packing it on now aren't you?"

Charming! I'm nearly 26 weeks, actually still weigh less than I did when I became pregnant and am still in my pre preg trousers!

I think sometimes it's just the way people phrase things that gets my back up - if she had said 'Oooh you're getting quite a bump now' I wouldn't have been quite so bothered!

Glad to hear I'm not the only one getting these comments. DH bought me a lovely carved stone bird bath for the garden for my birthday and was doing really well until the following comment popped out.

DH - The bird bath weighed an ABSOLUTE TON. It was SO HEAVY I could hardly lift it and had to get the neighbour to help. It probably wasn't as heavy as you are now though.

My co-worker said to me "You don't look pregnant though, just a bit fat"

Gee, thanks. That's obviously an improvement.

Should point out that I then reminded him I still weigh less than 2/3 of what he weighs, so he must be a bloody elephant! Men just don't get it do they?!

It only gets worse, after you have the baby you have to endure the

Stranger, in tesco: 'ahh he/she is lovely what age are they? '
You: 'a week (or whatever)'
Stranger : ' my hes big, what weight was he?'
You : ' nine pounds...'
Stranger: ' jings that must have hurt, did you have a section'
You: 'no'
Stranger: 'Goodness, did you have many stitches?
You : 'no'
Stranger: 'My goodness'

What I learned while pregnant is that the ONLY acceptable thing to say to a pregnant woman is 'oh, you look marvellous'.

That is it. Nothing more or less.

"How are you feeling?" is also acceptable.

I hated 'You're really large'. No, I was normal sized for 36 weeks pregnant, thank you very much. Also hated it when people made the 'Wow, must be a huge baby' comments. Gee, thanks, that's what I want to hear in the weeks running up to childbirth. As it happens, he wasn't huge at all.

The worst one I had was from a stand in MW when mine was on holiday.

Flicking through my notes when I arrived at the appointment she said 'How many weeks are you...30, well you don't look that far along, that's probably because you are overweight'!

Fair enough think it, but don't say it!! I was so upset & cried all the way home after the appoinment. I was a bit overweight (although weighed less than when I got PG) but as it happened my DD was 9 days late and weighed 6lbs 13, so by no means a big baby hence the smallish bump!

One of the secretaries at work said to one of the pregnant lawyers-

"Gosh, it looks like your baby is growing out of your bottom".

To be fair she had put on a few pounds on her arse, but really.

Have really bad SPD due to this the physio gave the orders to have a couple of weeks compleate bed rest to try and prevent the problem getting worse. So feeling really low about this pregnancy.

So cue MIL's weekly phone call to tell me won't I be getting extra fat with my lack of movement. Can people really be so blind to how words can hurt!

Never mind am 39 weeks so it's almost over (and I'm not extra fat just normal bump)

Lynne - try telling people you had a forceps delivery without episiotomy or stitches. They start making pitying comments about my DH having to put up with my baggy fanny!

In response you could say:

"I may be huge now, but then we know I'm pregnant - so what's YOUR excuse?"