Refuses to poo in the potty

[GinnyBee]

Started training my 28mo boy yesterday, trying for a cold turkey ditch the nappies approach, naked from waist down, mostly following the oh crap method I think. He’s doing fine on wees, mostly still starts wherever but if I catch it early and ask him to go on the potty he does, or if it’s too late I’ll just move him mid-stream and he finishes on the potty. But poos! On the floor. Yesterday I caught him staring to go for his afternoon poo twice, and when I put him on the potty he stopped and wouldn’t go. The second time it happened he cried and struggled saying “no mama, don’t take me! I need to go hide!” I tried explaining that he should poo on the potty, and also asked if he wanted me to put the potty somewhere private so he can still hide, but no. I also tried bribing with chocolate but that didn’t work either. This morning he’s also already done his morning poo on the floor despite us prompting him several times to go on the potty, because we knew he needed to go. Then snuck another one out when my husband agreed to play hide and seek with him (which is 99% of the time his way of saying he needs a poo, so this was stupidity on hubby’s part)

How can I get him to go on the potty? We have a little potty and a toilet seat and I’ve tried both. And what do I do tomorrow when he goes to nursery, do I put him back in nappies or send him in commando or with pants on?

We first introduced the potty earlier this summer more casually, getting him to sit on it a few times a day and he would wee in it every time so we thought we were off to a promising start, but then after a week he didn’t want to anymore so we left it. I’m now worried I’ve left it too late and he’s too “attached” to pooping standing up and hiding 😫

Sounds like your little one is a more frequent poo-er than mine, but we potty trained at the same age and had real problems with poos. Ours was more that he was holding it in, then getting very upset when he needed it and wanting a nappy to hide.

I found the only thing that really worked was essentially shutting him in a room naked on the bottom half with the potty until he couldn't hold it any longer. He'd be pacing the room and then at the last minute sit down and do it there. Once we were slightly past that phase, we found we had to actually hug him while doing his poo. Grim I know but he needed the comfort (and it stopped him jumping up). He's just turned 3 now and when he's a bit constipated we still have to hug.

Also found the playdough demonstration worked quite well... showing him when the 'poo' is just about to come out of his bum (circle made with your fingers) that's the right time to go to the potty.

We didn't have poo issues at nursery because he just held it till home but we had major wee issues where he didn't want to go at all then had loads of accidents. So we sent in his home potty every day and that made a huge difference!

One last thing, to those saying skip the potty and go straight to the loo, this really depends how tall your little one is. My boy is on the shorter side and still can't get a good knees up pooing position on the toilet, even with a high step stool.

I think advice is to start earlier than it used to be. Obviously every child is different, but I wouldn't automatically assume age is the issue. We did it at the same age and he was perfectly able to grasp the concept.

I know if I'd waited a few more months he'd have been in the middle of the oppositional 'behavioural leap' he experienced at 2.5 where he suddenly developed an independent streak and started fighting literally everything I asked him to do.

Thanks. I have asked him if he’d like me to put the potty somewhere “hiding” if he’d then poo in it, but he didn’t want that. Yesterday he eventually pooped in his nappy after I’d been following him around the house and garden with the potty basically all day, he was farting lots and tried to get me to stay away looking for a place to poo. I’d been asking him to sit on it like a million times but he was refusing, then weed himself, I sat him down, no poo again. We went in to get him changed into dry clothes and I had a little cry about it, apologising for pressuring him and that maybe he just doesn’t want to train yet. I put a nappy on, we went upstairs and he fell asleep on my lap on the sofa, and when he woke up he did a poo.

I'm now thinking maybe we take a little break and take the pressure off? Wear nappy pants sometimes and keep practicing nappy free some of the time. I know he’s had successes and overall doing pretty well, but requires constant reminders and bribing, he’s not initiating it himself and I don’t think he really cares. When he has accidents he’s just so unbothered about it.