We tried to start potty training our 3.5 year old just after Christmas; I tried to follow the 'Oh Crap' book (not the best confidence-instiller given it tells the reader a number of times it's infinitely more difficult over age 3/3.5..). The first day his bottom half was naked, and it went ok, the few times he started going we got him to the potty and some went in, he even did a no.2 in there.
However from day 2 onwards he started holding everything in, to the point where he was running around clearly in pain from needing to wee, but mostly refusing to sit on the potty; he sat on a couple of times but seemed distressed and wouldn't sit long enough for to go (despite really needing to..). Once we put in the bath just to get a wee out as he hadn't been for hours on end and I was starting to worry about UTIs etc. We gave up after a few days as all 3 of us were getting more and more traumatised by it, and toddler just wasn't himself, not happy and constantly asking when it was Bedtime (presumably as he knew he'd get a nappy).
Since then we've bought a larger 'toilet' potty, which is more comfortable for him to sit on. He's asked to sit on there a few times, but always when he's already been in his nappy, so not really any chance of doing anything. Of course we let him sit on anyway and praise him for it.
We spoke to preschool and they suggested waiting for him to decide he wants to start using potty/toilet. I just can't see it happening that he proactively chooses to. He starts school in September, although we've been assured that schools can't discriminate, so that's not so much of a worry now, but obviously not ideal.
Has anyone else had a similar experience at all, and have any tips to share? Thank you!