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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

Potty training 19 month old...where do i start??

105 replies

kellimay · 29/09/2010 18:20

My daughter is 19 months old & i want to start potty training as she is letting me know when she has been for either a wee or a poo. I have tried before but she doesnt seem to like sitting on either of her two potties and will sit for a minute or two but then get up and go on the floor....what do i do?!?!?!

OP posts:
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Jojay · 29/09/2010 18:24

To be completely honest I would wait. It can be done at this age but it's soooooo much harder and often takes much longer that it would if you left it a bit later.

IMHO, a sign of being ready to train is more about being able to follow instructions, like' Pull your trousers down,' ' sit still on your potty' etc, than the awareness of doing a wee / poo, and it doesn't sound as if she's ready for that yet

NoahAndTheWhale · 29/09/2010 18:28

Speaking as someone whose 19 month old DD decided she was fed up with nappies - don't try potty training yet. DD was pulling her nappies off before the wee but it was still an enormous hassle and tbh she wasn't properly trained before she was about 2.

DS was trained at 2 and 3 months and it was so much easier. DD was happy sitting on the potty and did mostly let me know before the wee or poo happened but it took a long time of feeling I was running round with pottiesGrin. Also her talking wasn't great so it was hard understanding her sometimes leading to puddles Grin.

JiggeryPopery · 29/09/2010 18:32

Here is what you do:

buy a 2011 calendar
turn to August
write 'give potty training a go'

sit down and have a cup of tea

Original poster
kellimay · 29/09/2010 18:40

Lol @ JiggeryPopery, if i didnt have a 6 month old too, i might have given that a go!!! Thanks for your comments guys, much appreciated

OP posts:
reallytired · 02/10/2010 21:50

My daughter 17 months old. We have a potty and I sit her on it on waking and before her bath. We often get a wee in it. Toddlers like most adults often need a wee as soon as they wake up. You stand a good chance of catching something.

Get some books and read to her or sing while she is on the potty. There should be no forcing, it needs to be fun!

I would keep your dd in nappies until she gets to the stage of saying she needs a poo or wee before the event. Certainly I would not rush into putting her into pants.

It is not impossible to train a 19 month old. However the child has to want to use the potty.

callmemamma · 05/10/2010 14:21

lol at JiggeryPopery.
reallytired I have this problem that my dd doesn't want to use a potty!She knows what to do and she can say she wants to wee but will keep it for too long and then we end up having half in pants and half in a potty!She is 2.3 though and I just think how much longer to wait??I would hate to have her still in nappies at 4!

reallytired · 05/10/2010 16:53

If your dd does not want to use the potty then don't worry callmemamma. Your dd is still really little and in the throws of the terrible twos. There is little point in fighting with her and if I was you I would put the potty away until she decides she wants to use it.

It is not a competition and no one puts on their CV the age that they were potty trained. It doesn't affect which group they are put in at school or predicts their academic ablity.

Every few children are in nappies by day at the age of four unless there are special needs. There is a huge difference in maturity between a two year old and a three year old and a jump again in maturity with a four year old. Your child will not want to be in nappies at four years old anymore than you want her to be in nappies.

reallytired · 05/10/2010 16:53

If your dd does not want to use the potty then don't worry callmemamma. Your dd is still really little and in the throws of the terrible twos. There is little point in fighting with her and if I was you I would put the potty away until she decides she wants to use it.

It is not a competition and no one puts on their CV the age that they were potty trained. It doesn't affect which group they are put in at school or predicts their academic ablity.

Every few children are in nappies by day at the age of four unless there are special needs. There is a huge difference in maturity between a two year old and a three year old and a jump again in maturity with a four year old. Your child will not want to be in nappies at four years old anymore than you want her to be in nappies.

PosieParker · 05/10/2010 16:56

Don't wait!! My dd was potty trained at 19 months because she said she wanted to wear pants!! We allowed her to decorate the potty with Dora stickers and everytime she sat on the and did something she got a smartie. It took about 10 days of putting her on every half an hour and staying at home.

TotorosOcarina · 05/10/2010 16:56

My DD is 20 months.

I bought her a potty the other day, it made a lovelt 'hat' as she said Hmm

She didn't want to stay on it for longer than 10 seconds, I'm going to leave it till after Christmas.

PosieParker · 05/10/2010 18:11

I think if you miss this window you could be looking at three years old!

PosieParker · 05/10/2010 18:23

DD mainly went on a toilet though, perhaps you could try that instead!

pinkthechaffinch · 05/10/2010 18:30

Agree that if you miss this window it could end up being harder. At 19 months dd started telling me that she needed a poo, so we gave it a go. She was really upset by the pooing tho Sad so we decided to leave it for a while but already she's stopped telling me when she's about to go, which she was doing a month ago.

have a feeling it's going to end up being harder than with ds who was clean and dry by 20 months. sigh>

EdgarAllInPink · 05/10/2010 18:59

there are plenty of people on this forum with problems training 2, 3 and even 4 year olds - i don't think anyone can be sure it will be easier if left later.

the way i look at it -

  1. you gotta do it sometime
  2. once its done, its done
  3. saves cash
  4. no more nappy rash!

how i got past the stage the OP describes was reading stories to them on the potty/ showing them cbeebies/ giving them drinks - all nice positive methods to get them to sit on the potty long enough to do a wee (also these things are relaxing/ reassuring so help them feel they are doing the right thing)

once they have done even the smallest dribble of wee, reward reward reward...(pref whilst swirling the wee about and pointing to show them what you have rewarded them for)

i don't think weeing on the floor means they don't want to use the potty, i think it means they don't know what is right - after all, how can they know the potty is for weeing in - unless someone tries to show them?

Once you have got to the point where they'll wee in return for a sweet, it gets much easier and you just need to take them for a wee often enough to get them dry...

I also recomend demonstrating using the potty youself so they know it is the right thing.

pinkthechaffinch · 05/10/2010 19:01

EdgarA

you've inspired me to have another go tomorrow! Grin

reallytired · 05/10/2010 21:37

If potty training doesn't work out then for gawd sake leave it a few months. There is nothing worse than constant accidents. It borderlines on abusive to have a non toilet trained child in pants for months on end.

Children vary in their development. Some chidren are ready at 18 months where as other chidren take a little longer.

"Once you have got to the point where they'll wee in return for a sweet, it gets much easier and you just need to take them for a wee often enough to get them dry..."

When a child is TRUELY potty trained they will TELL you they need the toilet. It is the child who needs to be trained not the parent.

I put my son into pants at 3 years and 3 months. He was dry both day and night within 8 days flat. After that he had very few accidents. He had issues with speech and walking. There was no way he was ready sooner.

My dd seems to be learning faser. However there is no rush to put her in pants. It is more fun for her to learn at her own pace.

Toddlerhood should be fun.

MaMoTTaT · 05/10/2010 21:40

Nothing wrong with waiting until 3yrs Posie.

I agree with Jiggery Grin

callmemamma · 06/10/2010 08:27

Opinions are very divided...
I wish it was fun as for now it absolutely isn't!
I shouted and got frustrated and dd was upset and crying and usually I am proud of how patient I am with my child..
Very reluctantly I am going to wait,maybe not few months but few weeks at least.

MaMoTTaT · 06/10/2010 09:17

honestly you won't regret waiting.

It is SO much easier when the child is up for it as well.

And if happens when they're 20 months, or happens when they're over 3- it really doesn't matter.

PosieParker · 06/10/2010 11:37

MaM....aside from the nappy prices!!

MaMoTTaT · 06/10/2010 12:10

Nappy price is something that you have to take into account when you have a child - many children just aren't ready until they're 3

£3-4 for a pack of nappies that last a week - 30 (ok slighy exageration Wink) extra loads of washing and cleaning material for cleaning up after accidents - probably not much in price wise

PosieParker · 06/10/2010 13:06

MaM...Do you have boys only? Because girls are ready a lot earlier.

MaMoTTaT · 06/10/2010 13:08

I do have boys only - DS1 was "trained" at just before 3 - but he wasn't ready really and it took approx 4 or 5 months before we could go a day without more than 1 or 2 accidents.

DS2 was 2.5yrs

DS3 was 3 in may and has just trained.

But NOT all girl are ready earlier.

My SIL's oldest DD was almost 3 before she cracked it.

Then her youngest was 20 months - dry and night!

PosieParker · 06/10/2010 13:31

I do think once a child knows that they are about to do a wee/poo it's time! DS1 wasn't ready at 3 and still took ages....DS2 just over two and took two days to get clean and dry day and night, DS3 well he's 23 months and is starting to tell me and so rugs are up next week, but we'll see if he's really ready or not over the next few days!!

MaMoTTaT · 06/10/2010 13:37

no - DS1 knew he was about to do a wee at 18 months - he was no where near ready. And took 4-5 months (I know DS2 was about 5 months old once we come regularly get through a day without DS1 having an accident- or 10). He still announces now at 10yrs old that he needs the toilet/is going to the toilet Hmm

DS2 never told me (even now at nearly 7 I realise he's suddenly disappeared and has been gone for some time - and I discover he's sat on the loo doing a poo) - he's a typical man and takes 20 minutes or so Grin - he either did it when I suggested he should try, or just went of his own accord. He was 2 1/2 and was trained in 2 days

DS3 sometimes tells me, sometimes doesn't, we had tried previous to this time but he just wasn't ready. It's taken about 2 weeks to get mostly reliable - had one poo accident today - but yesterday there were no accidents (and we went to town which took 2hrs as well).