I really don't know why I'm writing this probably just wanted to unburden some of my emotions...
I am a first time mum DD is just 2 weeks old and as much as I was excited by the idea of being pregnant and having a baby I feel like I severely underestimated how much our lives were gonna change. I mean we got the whole "your lives will never be the same, say goodbye to your lives" before she was due to arrive but we always just laughed it off.
I did have quite a rough delivery. It was a forceps delivery so I had an episiotomy. So recovering from that not being able to sit down properly and then I lost a lot of blood and had 2 iron infusions so I just don't feel quite with it.
I am exclusively breastfeeding and would like to keep it like that but I just feel like a glorified milk machine. And I just feel exhausted all the time so either I feed her and then I'm too tired to do anything but that whilst everyone else gets to enjoy her and play with her. And I'm just so dizzy like all the time I really don't know why and I think that massively plays on my mood as I can't even sit and enjoy the rest periods I get. I just feel like I can't see an end to this exhaustion.
What I really want to hear is does it get better ? 😠because at this point I can't see it settling down especially with the dizziness and exhaustion combined. And I feel because of my mood I just can't seem to bond with her as much as I want to or I just don't feel connected to her. Like I know she's my baby and I'm her mum but right know it seems like im just here to do a job and don't feel much beyond that.
Apologies this post is all over the place but i would really appreciate some positive stories as to when things settled for you guys and that it does get better 😓