I’m sinking deeper into a pit

[Used3covid]

I don’t know what to do next. I feel like we’ve exhausted all avenues.

I have EBF since birth and DC used to wake up 3-4 times a night and be a happy baby. He’s 8 months old now and life is absolutely hell every second of the day he’s waking 8-10 times a night and if I don’t offer breast he kicks, scrams, pulls my hair and cries until I give it to him he’s not thirsty because I offer water. I write this as he lies next to me, kicking scramming and crying because it’s nap time. I just don’t know what to do next.

DH can’t settle him he point blank refuses, cries and screams until he’s purple until I come. We paid a sleep consultant £250 and got nowhere! I’m at the point where my entire life revolves around a whiney baby and trying to get him to sleep. I want to give up.

I can’t put him down anywhere because he whines immediately so what do I do? House is a shit tip which is not helping my outlook on life at present.. who wants to live in a shit hole but we really don’t get a chance to clean because dc is so demanding!

I feel like I’ve given birth to Damien with how tortured I feel, I haven’t slept more than 1.5 hours since October. Now I get mauled every time I feel touched out and refuse breast, he has a dummy which he just spits out. I don’t have bodily autonomy anymore. He eats three meals a day plus two snacks and has lots of water.

I feel so clouded and live with a constant headache a feeling of dread. This can’t be normal?

That sounds awful @SeaToSki but not unlike the symptoms DC portrays: leg peddling, scramming me rubbing his face where the red hot parts are.
GP were completely useless again today, I think I’ll look into BUPA and if not just pay privately this can’t go on. They said they can’t refer to dermatologist or allergist because it would just bounce back for eczema as ‘that’s a GP issue’ even though it leaks clear fluid and gets red hot at night . We had another awful night last night, awake from 1:30-3:30 crying scratching and screaming.

If its leaking clear fluid, its serious, he is at risk for a skin infection and when they are that little, that can get nasty fast. I would get him infront of a consultant quickly and cut his food intake way way back to really simple one ingredient foods that are very low allergenic.
If you are using any moisturizers on him, check for lanolin in the ingredients, its another common allergen (wool extract) and dont wear any wooly jumpers (you or dc). You could consider a dose of antihistamine, but you really want doctor advice before you do that as he is so little. Also look at your laundry detergents, soaps and switch to hypoallergenic and stop using any airfreshers and dryer sheets. I hope you can find out what is causing his reactions, if you find one thing, dont stop, children are rarely allergic to just one thing.

Oh and also look at nappies. I had to switch to unchlorinated ones

And if it bounces back to the GP for excema then at least the GP would have proper instructions on care from a specialist ffs. Your GP sounds crap, no baby should be ignored because all babies cry. They dont just cry, they are communicating.

I EBF since birth. My baby is now 13.5 months. I only intended to BF short term but baby has CMPA and he wouldn’t accept the hypoallergenic formula (it tasted/smelled disgusting) and I just didn’t have the heart to give to him so I decided to BF until he was 11 months and then started to introduce Oat milk. I also began gradually weaning him off BF during the day because I just couldn’t do it anymore I felt trapped and restricted.

Since birth my baby woke up during the night about 10 times to BF/comfort. He only would sleep for 1.5 hours. I felt alone, exhausted, didn’t feel like me, depressed and just generally unhappy all the time. I dreaded each night.

My baby did really well with the gradual day weaning off BF which took 8 weeks and that left the “feed to sleep” at night and during the night.

My baby could not sleep without being fed to sleep since birth and I thought there was no way out.

On Friday 6th Feb 21, I BF him to sleep and he woke up in 45 minutes for another feed. That particular day I was so exhausted and I said to myself that I wasn’t going to feed him I just had had enough and stayed firm. I turned my back and he cried and cried pulling me back and jumping on my head. I stayed firm and did not budge. He eventually went back to sleep on his own and he did the same every 2 hours throughout Friday night. Saturday night I repeated the same method - I did notice that his cries were shorter. Sunday in the day time I was a Zombie I couldn’t think or function I was absolutely shattered I remember my eyes just burning and shutting down but Sunday night I pushed on. I was adamant that this just couldn’t continue. I had ENOUGH!

Monday night 8th Feb 21, my baby slept from 10pm - 7am SOLID!! I couldn’t believe it and although he slept through I didn’t because I kept waking up every 1.5 hours as per usual. It’s been 10 days and he has been consistent with sleeping through from 10am -7am. I am just elated. I feel relatively normal.

I also removed the sleep associations which was warm bath, BF in the bed and then when he fell asleep put him to lie down (co-sleeping). Instead, I replaced it with warm bath, a warm bottle of oat milk whilst he sat in his comfy chair in the front room (dimmed lights) let his tummy digest for 15 minutes and then put him in my bed where he self settles by him self off to a nice cosy sleep.

I am still in disbelief. I used to cry and cry every night I thought I would never sleep again. I thought my life was over. I thought I would never be the same again. It just seemed impossible. I just want to let you know that it will get better and I just purposefully signed up on this website because I felt compelled to share my journey because I endured the suffering of severe sleep deprivation.

Ps. he still has 1 BF at 7am in the morning because I refuse to get out my bed to make a bottle. I deserve a lie in. However, it will get better.

Hope that helps

@SeaToSki wanted to come back and thank you. I don’t even know if you’re going to read it but incase someone checks in and reads another time.

Our lives have improved immeasurably. We switched to hydrolysed pepti 1/2 and DC immediately slept through.

All of the doctors and HVs we have spoken with and YOU (!!) Anon on mumsnet were the one who ultimately saved the day.

He was obviously intolerant to something else in my milk because his face cleared up within 2 days. Hasn’t come back. He still has tiny eczema patches on his back as if expected for someone who has eczema BUT not the raw, red hot, leaking patches of skin on his face. We’ve got him wearing a special eczema fabric to bed which stops that itchyness.

Thank you so so much. And everyone else who gave advice on how to help.

No longer in a pit.

HOORAY

I am so glad I could help. Sometimes it takes a mother who has walked the path to help spot a similar problem in another DC

Thank you for letting me know, you have made my day.

My DC who was a super allergic baby is now a healthy happy teen (with bolshy moments) who wants to study computer science at University and is only slightly allergic to two foods and virtually no eczema flares any more.

Definitely! I just got a little emotional reading back through this thread, how bad it was, how uncomfortable he was.

It’s so so so good to hear that your DCs allergy’s have mostly cleared up, it must be a huge weight fo your shoulders. What age did you notice it starting to ease? I’m guessing you introduced foods slowly to test every now and again?

The message from any HCP I spoke to was ‘you’re doing the best by BFing’ ‘ trace amounts won’t make a difference in your milk’ ‘don’t stop BFing’ even when presented with the same info of the other symptoms I wrote here. It’s absolutely bonkers.

Some of his foods we were able to introduce from 18months to about 3 yrs. Then as we had got milk, egg and wheat back into his diet we paused and at 5 yrs he had some blood tests which showed lots of his other levels had dropped so we challenge tested with all of the other foods. He failed peanut and kiwi and passed the rest. Now, if he eats a peanut or piece of kiwi he just gets stomach aches and vomits, but in the scheme of things its very manageable (and he just doesnt drink fruit juices which is the main risk for kiwi).
The biggest thing is managing his dust mite allergy when we go on holiday or he is on a sleepover. We have a couple of mattress covers we can travel with and I also found a silk sleeping bag liner which seems to help keep the dust mites off him and is more subtle than having to remake the bed at a friend’s house.

The biggest thing with the eczema is stopping them scratching themselves at night, we used socks pulled up to his elbows when he was little and then lots of moisturisers before bed and a daily antihistamine when he was older.