Episiotomy

[watermelonsugar99]

Hi, just wanting a bit of advice.
I had my baby on Tuesday (6 days ago) after an hour of pushing in labour I was rushed to surgery for forceps and an episiotomy. I was discharged the day after with iron tablets as I lost quite a lot of blood.

I know it's early days but I'm still struggling so much with the pain, I take paracetamol and ibuprofen regularly and try to keep the area as clean as I can. I still can't walk properly without pain nor can I sit down, even if I try sitting on my side. I asked the midwife to check my stitches and she said they seem okay but she can't see them inside so she doesn't know how they're healing there. I'm really struggling as my partner is back at work next week & I don't think I'm going to be able to cope on my own, since getting out of hospital I've been crying constantly and feeling guilty. I can't even get up during the night to get baby as it takes me about 10 minutes to try get out of bed. Did anyone else have a similar experience? How was everyone's recovery with an episiotomy as I've heard so many horror stories which is not helping my anxiety!!

Any tips for a faster recovery? Using a peri bottle every time I go to the toilet and spritz for bits on my pad every time it gets changed

I'm glad you're feeling better xx

@watermelonsugar99 Glad to hear you're slowly getting there, i am too although good and bad days..!

Update us on your 6 week appt when you've had it, i don't have mine until the end of the month!

@Oldestchild90s yeah of course I will! I made my DP look down there the other day and he said the outside has scarred over, I thought it would have still been open, but I'm still getting so much pain coming from it. I touched the scar and it hurt so bad, especially the area around it. I'm hoping it's not some scar tissue that's going to give me pain constantly as would rather not have to get another op down there no matter how small it is as crazy as it sounds I can't wait to shave😂 hope you're doing okay!! Keep me updated with how you're feeling :) xx

@watermelonsugar99 hi OP, came to have a look for an update on how you're doing, sorry to see that you're still recovering. I'm 12pp tomorrow and my wound is STILL open with nobody taking responsibility for it so I guess I'll just keep using a mirror and looking myself. From around 8 weeks I was able to walk a lot easier and now I can do walks without feeling like I need to sit in the freezer afterwards, now it just stings when the wee drips on it. Just an idea for shaving - I shaved as much of me as I felt safe doing (using a mirror to ensure I didn't get too close) and instantly felt like a new woman. Good luck.

@carleyemma91 oh no I bet you're so done in that your wound is still open! I'm so glad you can walk a lot easier though, it's half the battle when you're in less pain!! Have you tried using tea tree oil? A drop or two in the bath with a bit of milk, I swear that's what helped my wound heal when it popped open at the top.. I've still got an infection as well, the doctor wants to put me on more antibiotics but she's also a bit concerned about doing so in case I get thrush as this will be my fourth course. Hopefully my last I'm still in pain but can definitely see a big difference from when I first gave birth to how I am now, i tried Epsom salts in the water the other day, absolutely will not be doing that again, it stung so much😂 my little boy currently has really bad colic so is constantly screaming during the night, it makes me feel awful knowing everything I'm trying to do to help him isn't working. God we don't half go through it do we?!! I still haven't braved the whole shaving thing yet, I think I'm still a bit bruised as when I touch all round my skin it hurts

@carleyemma91 Aww you poor thing! I’m 10w pp. Mine dramatically improved. I felt a real difference from week 8. Still not 100%. It’s all healed apart from the small part at the opening of the vagina (sorry tmi) it’s like over granulated tissue. It’s not painful, but can occasionally be uncomfortable if I wipe a bit hard.
Surely they should re-stitch you?

@watermelonsugar99 How’s your mood? It really gets you down. I have honestly never met anyone who had an episiotomy that healed well. Nothing but trouble.

@watermelonsugar99 honestly i'm so beyond done in I can't even tell you haha. I did have it looked at 4 weeks ago where the nurse said that there's scar tissue and a lot of it had healed but that it just takes time. Feel like all i've done is give the bugger time haha. I haven't tried tea tree but I might, I haven't had anything in the water as the consultant told me not to use anything but plain water, annoying.

@Johnson10 I'm definitely a whole lot better than I was week 8, just frustrated that it's taking so long. I'm waiting on the same bit to heal as you it seems. They were very adamant that I will not be restitched so I guess i'll continue on with my two pairs of flaps until two become one ha!

@carleyemma91 hahaha eeee that made me chuckle. At least we can laugh about it. It’s so frustrating! God I love my son, but the recovery puts me off ever having another. Labour & birth is easy compared to this.
Mine totally broke down. Gaping hole, luckily it’s filled now. Been looked at once by a GP, who said it will heal & it’s never been checked since.

@watermelonsugar99 just normal milk? Like what you’d put on your cereal?

@Johnson10 yep that’s what happened to me, midwife took a half arsed look 5 days PP said it looked champion and I looked myself at 6 days to see the gaping hole. I’ve had 3 infections, I’ve seen a Doctor, registrar, consultant, showed the nurse at my 6 week Check (which I had at 9 weeks) so I feel like I’ve showed every logical professional, might have to just start showing civilians on the street. I strong armed myself into a telephone appointment with the GP who said a nurse would be happy to look at it if I needed them too. It’s just pointless.

I said from the moment my beautiful daughter was dragged out of me that I was never doing that again but if you’ve had a traumatic birth (understatement of the century) then you can have an elective section next time so that’s a possibility if I ever wanted to endure the torture that was pregnancy again haha.

@Johnson10 my mood has been up and down, Oliver cried from 11pm-5am last night and it's fair to say I cried with him for majority of them hours😂 yep I've never known anyone to have a positive story either! My GP doesn't have anyone who's trained to fully check stitches!! The one who looked at mine just basically went off her birth experience I'm only 20 and I'm fully confident I will never have another one again, no matter what anyone says. And for everyone who said "you'll forget the pain as soon as you've had him" they're full of shit because I remember every bit. Yeah any type of milk, it apparently stops the oil from sitting on top of the bath. Just about half a cup full and then a few drops of tea tree :)

@carleyemma91 two pairs of flaps made me giggle😂😂

I didn't have an episiotomy but I did tear and have stitches. The pain had gone by 2 weeks pp. I remember wondering if the pain would ever go and then it seemed to almost over night. I had two baths a day with lavender oil. And used nappy cream on my stitches. I slathered it on to stop the friction with pads.

@watermelonsugar99 I haven’t forgot the pain either, giving birth is barbaric and I replay it every night when I go to bed.

I had episiotomy with ventouse. Lots of initial pain as you describe, not quite crying with pain but keeping me awake at night, having to sit on a ring cushion, shuffling to walk etc. I was terrified of going for a poo as I didn't want to have to wipe - I highly recommend using your shower afterwards (unless you have a bidet!) rather than attempting to wipe! As a lot of others did I also used witchhazel on chilled maternity pads, didn't help with the pain but I didn't get any infection so maybe it helped with that.
Also agree with the shaving option even if that's not what you normally do - because things aren't in the normal position any straggly hairs can really rub against the painful parts!
Didn't suddenly improve (my stitches came open almost straightaway apparently) so it was a very gradual improvement over months. I remember around 8 weeks being ok to drive and go to baby groups.
I was able to walk normally at 6 months and sex wasn't too painful at that point.
I would say by 12 months I was completely pain free even when doing yoga etc. and it all feels completely normal again. (I don't mean I was in horrible pain for 12 months just that I don't even feel like I had a baby now).

It was a huge shock to me that episiotomy could be worse than labour (at least labour is over in a day or two, right?!). It is barely mentioned in antenatal talks.

@watermelonsugar99 will try the milk !
Aww my son had colic. He used to cry from 6pm non stop till about midnight (that was a good night) his sleeping patterns has horrendous. I promise it gets better. It’s true what they said, he grew out of it. He’s 10 weeks today & I can’t complain. He sleeps great. Has 3/4 naps during the day. Goes to sleep properly about 7/8pm. Dream feed about 10. Wakes between 2-4am for a feed then sleeps till 6-7am. Keep going with a routine. That’s what we did. And from about 7 weeks it really improved. He still has the occasional restless night, but hey don’t we all! X

@Rigamorph I've been using a peri bottle or a sitz bath after using the toilet, even for having a wee. Is it just the witch hazel you can get in asda etc in the bottle? I'm definitely going to shave then as I feel like with the bruising the hairs are digging in and causing a bit of pain.. I was just so scared to do it in case it hurt or in case a bit of hair went into the open wound but with it being closed I guess I should be fine now. Episiotomies are definitely horrific! Wishing I had a section now!

@Johnson10 oh that's good to know that they grow out of it, yeah I'm still trying to stick to a routine as much as I can. Bath then bed, not that it's working very well at the moment but I'm sure he'll get used to it soon. We have some drops to put in his milk so going to try them now and see if they work at all. Fingers crossed! Xx

@watermelonsugar99 Gripe water is the only thing that worked for us, brought wind up & settled his tummy great. Infacol is crap. Also a warm face cloth on his tummy in the bath, my son loves that. Soothes they’re tummy.
It’s so hard though ... especially when you’ve got a restless baby, combined with painful stitches / wound thats taking forever to heal. I had many nights sobbing in the first 6 weeks, thinking I’d made a terrible mistake. You’re doing a great job! Keep going, it will get better !! X

@watermelonsugar99 Yes plain old witchhazel from supermarket.

I didn't attempt shaving until about 4 months in (was terrified to look down there if I was honest I thought if I didn't look then I wouldn't know how bad it was!). I couldn't sit with my legs apart at the start so wouldn't have been able to shave then.

Sorry this is a weird conversation to have with a stranger

@Johnson10 I read about that somewhere earlier on, glad to know it worked really well for you! If these drops don't work I'll deffo give it a go. Thanks for letting me know about the face cloth in the bath, will try that tomorrow:) Yeah it is so hard, but it's so nice to have people to talk to who've been through the exact same thing. This thread has kept me sane these past few weeks so thank you for checking inxx

Hi
@watermelonsugar99 @carleyemma91I’m so glad I found this, I had my little one the first week in August too, and am suffering the same I have had 4 courses of antibiotics and my wound got infected and I got sepsis. I’m so pleased that I’m not alone.
Hope you’re doing ok x

@Rigamorph I was terrified to look down there too! I thought it was going to be the most horrific site ever, surprisingly not much different which I'm super happy about haha! I think we're all on the same page here so nothings weird

@Boomclaps you poor thing! Welcome to the thread, if you need to have a little rant or complain or simply just a chat/advice the thread is always open You're definitely not alone, we're all in the same boat here! How are you doing now? Has your infection gone? Mine is still here after 5 weeks so waiting for the doctors to send yet another course of antibiotics over to the pharmacy for me.. ahhh the joys of childbirth!! Episiotomies are literally Satan himself!! Xx

Nope mines still here, which is a massive pain.
But hopefully it’ll start sorting itself out soon!
I’m so pleased I’ve found oyu all though.
How are you all doing?
Xx

Hi ladies, just thought I'd update you on where I am now! I finished my 10 courses of antibiotics last week to cover my infection and 2 bladder infections. I made sure the doctor swabbed me weekly and it turns out, my bacteria kept mutating into a different infection and therefore the antibiotics needed changing quite regularly. Some of the tablets started to work really well, and after a couple of days they would tail off which is when I assume the bacteria changed so if you haven't already, please push your GP to swab you as much as it hurts, getting the right course eventually healed mine! I'm nearly 9 weeks pp now and it still stings when I have a wee, but I'm generally feeling much better as the skin has granulated now and it's not as tender although very bruised! I've not braved the shave yet although I'm desperate too! Hope you're all okay, and wishing you a speedy recovery, it does get better in time x

@Ree91 Hey, just a quick question for you if you don't mind. It's been 5 weeks and it still stings when i go to the loo, i sent a urine sample off and the hospital said there's not an infection.. does that mean this is a normal part of healing? Surely it shouldn't sting! x