Episiotomy

[watermelonsugar99]

Hi, just wanting a bit of advice.
I had my baby on Tuesday (6 days ago) after an hour of pushing in labour I was rushed to surgery for forceps and an episiotomy. I was discharged the day after with iron tablets as I lost quite a lot of blood.

I know it's early days but I'm still struggling so much with the pain, I take paracetamol and ibuprofen regularly and try to keep the area as clean as I can. I still can't walk properly without pain nor can I sit down, even if I try sitting on my side. I asked the midwife to check my stitches and she said they seem okay but she can't see them inside so she doesn't know how they're healing there. I'm really struggling as my partner is back at work next week & I don't think I'm going to be able to cope on my own, since getting out of hospital I've been crying constantly and feeling guilty. I can't even get up during the night to get baby as it takes me about 10 minutes to try get out of bed. Did anyone else have a similar experience? How was everyone's recovery with an episiotomy as I've heard so many horror stories which is not helping my anxiety!!

Any tips for a faster recovery? Using a peri bottle every time I go to the toilet and spritz for bits on my pad every time it gets changed

@bedjolly oh congratulations!! I'm sorry if my post has made you worried! I'd say my recovery has been worse than the labour considering I had to have forceps and episiotomy, everyone is completely different you could have an amazing labour and recovery :) good luck!! Wishing you all the best xx

@mrshadders as awful as it sounds it does make you feel a slight bit better knowing that other people feel the same way and you're not the only one! People rarely talk about the bad parts, only the good x

@TokyoSushi I'll buy some tea tree and lavender oil thank you:) I have the midwife spritz for bits which has witch hazel, tea tree and lavender in and I spray it on my pads every time I go to the toilet, I might try them separately and see if that makes a difference!

@Fieldings15 that's really reassuring thank you for replying xx

@EnglishRain I've heard about them but never looked into them, I'll order some and try them. Thank you for your suggestion! Hope you're doing okay:)

@WheresMyMilk I rang the labour ward and asked them what they think, they told me to ring my community midwife at half 8 tomorrow and get her out straight away to take swabs in case there is a small infection that's making the pain worse! I'm also going to ring the GP and try speak to another doctor xx

@Heyha that's so reassuring thank you! I rang the labour/postnatal ward and they want me to ring my community midwife to get her out in the morning to take swabs in case there is an infection that is starting off& making the pain worse! I've also asked about stronger pain relief, she said to see what the results come back as and take it from there xx

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov I should be getting checked in the morning by the midwife to see if it's an infection! Thank you for letting me know that as I would have never of thought about infection or UTI!

@BakewellGin1 oh you sounded exactly like I feel right now! I feel so useless not being able to get up with my baby etc but my partner is luckily super supportive and doesn't mind at all. If I have to stay in bed for the next month he'd be more than okay with it if it meant I would make a full recovery!

@Maxamill I've just had a bath and lay on the bed for about an hour with a pad under me letting some air get to it and you're right about it feeling like there's less tugging! As stupid as this sounds is it a certain kind of milk you need to use or just any at all like oat milk etc? Thank you so much for your helpful reply xx

@iguanabanana I have spritz for bits which is lavender, tea tree and witch hazel. I've been spraying it on my pads every time i change them, I've not been brave enough to spray it directly onto the cut but my midwife recommended it being sprayed onto pads and I've read loads of reviews saying the same thing! It says online you can pour it into the bath as well so I may give that a go and see if it helps or not! Thank you for your reply

I second arnica tablets. I also had an ice pack thing that went over my maternity towel. My lovely Dad had been sent for both these and they were a great help.

I had an episiotomy and ventouse. What you are experiencing is 100% normal but I promise it will get better. The key is to let DH do whatever. Dont push yourself. I did and ended up taking so much longer to heal. Take the ibuprofen and paracetamol, also I found sitting in a shallow bath with lavender and tea tree oil, or bath salts, helped the healing. It took me 10 weeks for things to stop hurting but only maybe 2 weeks for the worst of it to pass. The rest was more uncomfortable when I sat on the toilet or sat a certain way.

Also crying is 100% normal. I cried through my first 3 weeks, every evening. Sometimes numerous times a day. It's the hormones wreacking havoc. It too will pass.

I had mine 26 years ago and I can still remember how sore it was! Sitting on an inflatable rubber ring, letting the area dry properly by airing your bits and taking arnica and painkillers all help. From still vivid memory it gets better after 10-14 days when the bruising starts to settle down. Congratulations on your baby

Oh OP I'm sorry you're so sore. I remember my episiotomy seemed to feel worse before it got better, I think it's to do with it starting to heal and internal bruising which will be coming out now at 6 days PP. it is early days and I promise it'll pass, by 14 days PP I expect you'll feel much better.

I would take regular ibroprufen and if that doesn't help see if the doctor can sort you out with anything different.

Crying is 100% normal, I felt helpless and like I'd made a huge mistake for about 3 weeks after my daughter's birth. It's 9 months worth of hormones all making their way out of your system at once xx

Congratulations! I had the same experience as you and it took 2-3 weeks for my episiotomy to stop hurting - though obviously over that time the pain got less and less. I bought a sitz bath and Epsom salts and it really helped. I found it less hassle and time consuming than running baths and could do it a few times a day. Plus I also lay on the bed once or twice a day, legs akimbo to get some air to it. The spritz for bits I don't think worked very well for me.

Forceps can be brutal and so if you find your coccyx hurting a lot getting up and sitting down, this is apparently very normal. I didn't know this and so was worried about it. It lasted about 6 weeks for me but again, the pain gradually faded, it wasn't agony for the whole of that time. My baby's 11 weeks old and honestly it all feels so long ago already! You'll feel better soon :)

@Hawkmoth thank you!!:)

@SqidgeBum he's being an absolute gem and doing everything he possibly can! The hormones are the worst, I'm just constantly breaking down crying and feel awful for DP as he has so much to deal with never mind me also crying constantly too! Not that he minds, he's extremely supportive!

@DramaAlpaca thank you so much:) xx

@Hannah1990x as awful as it sounds I'm so glad someone else felt the same way in regards to crying! I absolutely adore my little boy so so much and I'm so grateful to have him but can't help the thing in the back of my mind regretting things! It makes me feel so guilty but a lot of people have reassured me they felt the same way& it's completely normal! Thank you so much for replying xx

@YorkshirePud1 I've been told by my midwife not to use Epsom salts or any salt in the bath but everyone has been recommending it so much that I'm probably going to get some to try! She said there's no proof it actually works and that it's pointless but I'm always hearing positive reviews about using them to heal! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like the spritz for bits isn't really working, don't get me wrong I'm still using it just in case it is but from the reviews I've read I thought it would have been a lot better! I guess some products work better for others.. yes my coccyx has been hurting and was wondering if it was normal or not! I think that's why I'm struggling to sit so much, if I sit straight or on my right side it puts pressure on my stitches but if I sit on my left my coccyx hurts so bad! Feel like I can't win, thank you for letting me know about that as I was starting to get worried. Congratulations on your baby :) xx

Ring the GP now and get the painkillers xx

@watermelonsugar99 haha it's not stupid don't worry, I just used normal milk! I really hope they ease for you soon, I don't think we're ever prepared for how you feel afterwards we just think of labour being the tough bit!

You can go back to the maternity assessment ward at the hospital and they will have a look and give you stronger pain killers. I went back after a few days because I couldn’t sit down for the pain. Turns out I had developed a haematoma behind the stitches and I was given dihydrocodeine.

I was in a lot of pain for about 3 weeks and had to hire a special cushion (valley cushion) before it gradually eased, but it took a long time to feel even slightly better.

No one ever warned me about the recovery from episiotomy and forceps, not even a leaflet, and I feel quite angry that women are routinely given this procedure without after care.

I had forceps and episiotomy, and my recovery has been hard too. I got an infection on day 3 which caused my stitches and wound to breakdown leaving a gaping hole there, agony to wee or sit down or move aswell. I'm on my 7th course of antibiotics having only given birth 4 and a half weeks ago, with 2 bladder infections aswell. It's tough, and my midwife recommended shallow milton baths which have really helped along with showering after every wee and airing the wound out to dry. I'm still not 100% but it's much better than it was. I was exactly the same with the emotional side, feeling so guilty I couldn't get off the bed to do a feed or anything. It's so tough, but with everyday it does get slightly better x

I’m 6 weeks pp - episiotomy & vacuum delivery. Jesus wept that pain after is horrendous ... my stitches burst about 4 days after & I swear it was from lifting my son out of his crib while sitting on the bed. I could hardly walk. My husband was off work for 3 weeks & literally did every thing. I say by week 3/4 the pain was soooo much better. I kept breaking down in tears. I think due to the pain, tiredness, exhaustion & hormones. I felt guilty as I felt like I couldn’t be bothered with the baby as I was like a zombie. I lost a lot of blood also & needed a blood transfusion. Im still not quite healed by I’m miles away from where I was. I’m out walking everyday with the pram & feel like I’m getting stronger week by week.
I still get down as I’m not completely healed as such & don’t feel like my old self just yet. Think we put too much pressure on ourselves.
Take it easy! Housework can keep. And it will get better, I promise !!!

Oooooh episiotomies are eye watering they really are
Having had 1 with both my deliveries I would say that I found the 3 week mark the point where things felt vaguely comfortable again
6 days in I could still barely walk

I found the thing that helped the most was just having 'airtime' as much as possible
It will get better I promise!

Congratulations! I had an episiotomy with forceps in theatre too. Omg it was horrible I really feel for you.

Get onto the Dr and ask for stringer pain relief. I think I had naproxen. Also ask someone to have a look at them again - sometimes they can be infected inside. I was put on antibiotics just incase when my pain increased. Remember to take painkillers before you feel the pain coming back - try to get into a pattern of "topping up"

Witch hazel on a maternity pad is good for healing and soothing it. I thought it was going to sting when it first went on but it really didn't. Ice packs wrapped in a towel put in between your legs will help with swelling and numb the pain a bit.

After a shower, a hairdryer on cool setting is much better than a towel to make sure it's all dry - no rubbing.

I remember it well and think the recovery from it was the worst bit of the 40 hour labour. I promise it gets better. In a few days you'll feel so much better but until then take it easy and take any help you can get.

I gave birth on the 17th June and i'm still recovering from my episiotomy. I struggled with the pain and my health visitor rang a few days after I gave birth and I sobbed down the phone to her and she arranged pain relief for me via the GP. I had the community midwife check my stitches and she said they were fine, but had a look myself the next day to see a gaping wound with no stitches. I ended off ringing the hospital assessment unit who took over my care, but the consultant told me to stop using sprits for bits and only use plain water to wash the wound.

@Maxamill we deffo do! Thanks so much for your help I really appreciate it xx

@Ihaveoflate I never knew anything about it all in regards to the risks etc, one minute I was in the delivery room and the next minute I was in theatre and my baby was on me. I've read online that they try not to do episiotomies as majority of the time they cause more issues than a natural tear would. They used to do them routinely but now try avoid if possible, makes sense! Very very painful 😖

@Ree91 oh that sounds awful! Congratulations on your little one I've never heard of Milton baths but will definitely give them a go, I asked my midwife for recommendations but she just said I don't know and is rarely helpful. Hope you're doing better! Xx

@Johnson10 I'm so petrified of my stitches bursting! I get my DP to check them about 4 times a day! My DP is back at work next week and I'm so scared of him going back, he only gets 2 weeks paternity but I still can't do much at all, he said if I'm no better he'll try get more time off but his work is very awkward and they might make him take unpaid leave which isn't ideal when you have a newborn and bills! I went out today to the shops with the pram and it was nice to get a bit of fresh air, still didn't help my mood and I felt like I was walking like I'd shit myself haha!! I had numerous of sympathy looks off other women who clearly felt my pain!! Are you feeling any better? Congratulations on your baby

@MobLife I was lying on the bed for about an hour today, it feels nice letting air get at it! A lot of people have said the three week mark was when they started to feel a little bit more human again so I'm praying by then I feel more like myself!!

@Onebabyandamadcat thank you! It was the scariest experience ever for both me and my DP. I've had a swan done today to check for infections and will get my results back on Thursday or Friday, the DR gave me some antibiotics but unfortunately they don't bother looking on their computer and the ones they gave me I'm allergic to as they have lactose in!! Thankfully DP read the box before I took them so now I'm having to wait a few days before i can potentially get anything if needed. After bathing I've just been lying on a towel on the bed for at least half an hour to let it air dry. Recovery is definitely the worst part:(

@carleyemma91 I'm so sorry you're still struggling, that's such a long time to still be in pain! My community midwife has checked my stitches twice now and says the outer part looks fine & like it's healing but to me it looks very red and it's extremely sore, I feel like since the beginning she's been very dismissive and isn't bothered about helping out. When I get my swab results back on Thursday or Friday if there's no infection I'm definitely going to ring the hospital assessment unit and see what they can do. I feel like spritz for bits isn't doing much for me at all so I'm going to end up stopping using it. Is there anything else you've been using or is it just plain water and pain relief? I hope you're doing okay! Xx

A bit random, but after giving birth for the second time a few months the ago, my midwife assured me that no woman has ever burst a stitch going to the toilet. I found that such a reassuring thing to hear and it really helped me to relax about that aspect of things.

Have you tried putting pads in the freezer for a little immediate relief?

I also went for wees in the shower gross I know, but it was so much more comfortable than using toilet paper, and somehow, standing was more comfortable than sitting.

I had an episiotomy with my first and don't recall it being as bad as you describe, but that could've been the drugs. Definitely keep pushing the GP/ask for a different midwife/speak to the hospital until you're satisfied. It's cruel that we have to deal with this sort of thing on top of the sleep deprivation too. I really hope you feel better soon! Look after yourself and drink plenty of water, the iron tablets are...interesting.

It does all get better I promise

@Tittie it's so weird as I haven't had any discomfort whilst having a wee! I've never had it stinging at all, I don't know if it's just because all I drink is water and nothing sugary to irritate when passing through but that's the only thing that doesn't hurt?! I haven't tried pads in the freezer yet but deffo going to give that a try in the morning thank you:)

I'm definitely going to keep pushing the GP for stronger pain relief, paracetamol does nothing for my period pain never mind postpartum pain! The iron tablets are very interesting haha, they're making me a bit ill so the midwife said to speak to the GP to see if I can drop down to 1 a day but I'd rather deal with the side effects for the next 2 weeks and get my levels back up rather than drop to 1 a day and be on them for longer. Thank you so much for replying:) xx