Desperate for some advice. My son is 4 months old and last week I returned to work. Would have loved to have been able to enjoy my full maternity but unfortunately financially it wasn't possible. My son is a brilliant baby, been so easy, I've never really struggled with lack of sleep or anything that you'd expect from being a new parent, it's been bliss. However my job is very long hours, sometimes 15 hour shifts, sometimes 10 hour night shifts and it's about 2 hours travel each way. My manager has been brilliant and works all of my shifts around my partners so we don't have to pay for childcare but naturally I've been exhausted and have been trying to catch up on sleep during the days when my partner is taking care of our son. I'm feeling so guilty about barely spending any time with him and today, before I left for work, my son wouldn't even look at me, just kept turning his head to daddy. I'm so pleased that my partner is having quality time but it's made me feel so low that he doesn't seem to be interested in me. I ended up leaving for work in tears. I don't know if this is normal and whether to worry or not. And part of me is wondering whether I should go back to being a stay at home mum. I've also been having really negative comments about me and my parenting. On my first day back I had another member of staff tell me I still looked pregnant and that I wasn't this big before I had the baby. She also told me that I should have breastfead to get my weight off, I wasn't able to breastfeed because me and my son were so ill during and after the birth, so these comments really upset me. I just don't know what to do or feel. I've never been this miserable, and I'm wondering if it's possible late Post natal depression can develop a bit later. Just at my wits end at the moment, absolutely exhausted and just feel like I'm not doing anything right. I'm seeing the health visitor Thursday to talk to her about it but I just need a bit of advice in the meantime! 😔Thank you.
P.s I have posted this in returning to work too, just desperate for advice at the moment.