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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Original poster

Sex after birth

32 replies

Machighlands27 · 01/12/2016 21:57

I had my lovely DD 5 weeks ago, I'm not sure if I'm ready for sex with my husband yet. I had a forceps delivery, episiotomy and a 2nd degree tare! I feel like I've pretty much healed but am SO paranoid I'm going to tare or something! My husband is itching to get back to having the maritals Confused and I'm not sure he's as understanding as he could be. Is it safe to have sex so soon? Any advice to help my DH understand? Xmas Blush

OP posts:
AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 02/12/2016 12:57

I waited 3 months - had a ventouse delivery and it was so sore down there i was scared. However I moved in with my parents for the first few months (we were in the process of buying a house) so I didn't have overnights with DH until then.

DeleteOrDecay · 02/12/2016 12:57

Your partner needs to back off, quite frankly. Especially if he is making you feel guilty about not being ready, it may be unintentional of him but it's not okay and he needs to know how he is making you feel. Have you told him you are feeling a bit pressured?

For me it was around 3-4months before I felt ready. Everything was fine down below, but it was also a mental thing for me.

Don't feel like you have to rush yourself. You will know when you feel up to it again. In the mean time tell your partner to back off a bit and that you will let him know when you're feeling up to it again.

Congratulations on your new baby by the way.

GrubbyWindows · 02/12/2016 13:01

To be honest I'd be telling him just how unsexy it is to keep asking. He needs to make you feel gorgeous and accepted, not pressured. If he wants to hasten the day, then he should be helping you get as much rest as possible, by doing all the housework and plenty of baby care!
Took about 6 months for me, and v sporadic after that. My hormones were in baby mode for well over a year so I had no sex drive.

SpookyPotato · 02/12/2016 13:05

I had a c-section and still waited about 5 months! So no damage down there but mentally wasn't ready. When I have sex I have to feel naughty and in the mood, but was in full blown new mum mode. He needs to be patient and take himself off for a wank. He is not putting himself in your shoes at all.. I think some men just don't appreciate everything your body has and is still going through when making a baby. Love the ripped arse analogy above! A good partner doesn't mention it or put pressure on you, and waits for you to feel ready in your own time.

Original poster
Machighlands27 · 02/12/2016 13:07

Thanks for the advice guys, I'll have a talk with DH when he gets home from work. tempted to just make him read your replies! Lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Machighlands27 · 02/12/2016 13:09

Will definitely be using the ripped arse analogy! Wink

OP posts:
stumblymonkey · 02/12/2016 13:18

"tell him to imagine having his arsehole both sliced and torn open by a pair of metal tongs that were used to drag a human out of his body. But before his stitches can heal you would like to have fun sticking a dildo up there."

^This.

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