FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

box yes of course. FB me your address.

The reason(s) I say it's going bollocks is that despite him having a bloody superb latch, me seeing milk trickle from his chops when he rests, him filling numerous nappies with lovely yellow milk poo and lots of wee, use of Oxytocin nose spray to stimulate production and he's putting on weight (hands have doubled in size in 2 weeks!), yesterday he spent ¬18 hours on my breast and yet still at 10pm he was screaming his face off, scratching my face and I'd had enough. He was given a bottle of 60ml whilst I went and sat on the balcony with a fag sobbing.

I do not have the energy/will to feed 24 hours a day.

Hmm, I was feeling that last night when he was on from 11pm until 4am. I don't know why they do that (other than obviously when they have growth spurts etc). So he's getting enough food then, do you think? I mean it sounds like it. Have you tried a dummy??? (sorry if I'm asking stupid questions... ) I'm a huge dummy fan TBH, up until about 3-6 momths. Can't stand the 3 year old walking around with one thing but that's different.

If he's just needing comforting swaddling may help?

Random desperate suggestions ski...

Yep, he's got a dummy (premmie one) and also tried swaddling - which at least saved my boobs/neck from getting scratched up but didn't change much...

I should add, my tits are small (for me) and they don't feel full/painful/engorged at all. Meh.

Anyway, in brighter news - I'm feeling mentally happier today and so I'm going to accompany jailbait walking the dogs this morning. For the first time I'm going to take my baybee out for a stroll in the pram!

First thing ski - totally enjoy your pram walk! It's moments like that that it's all about. Hope it gives you lots of proud mummy warm fuzzies.

Secondly... and a massive punch in the arm / hit over the head with a comedy hammer (select the violence of your choice). Like rots I am struggling for helpful suggestions. I do know (or have been told) that after the initial milk-coming-in engorgement your breasts can go back to being quite floppy-ish but still producing milk as they are manufacturing 'to order'. Not sure of the science behind that, but 'empty' breasts definitely doesn't mean no milk.

Thirdly, I know exactly what you are describing. The number of times I have screamed 'But how can you still be hungry - there's nothing left!' can't be counted.

I think the accepted wisdom at this point is to start chanting the mummy mantra 'This Too Shall Pass'. Feeding does go in cycles of insatitable appetite and growth spurts, so chances are it will settle down.

But FWIW I think you are doing the right thing. Babies need happy mothers more than they need exclusive breast feeding.

Can he chow on your little finger? Rastus finds that v soothing for ages, even when he's rooting. Fingernail side down and it feels like a nip...

briefly lifting my head above the BFing parapet. I too have a baby who has discovered cluster feeding. Okay overnight and in the mornings (literally until noon), but will now be attached to my norks until about midnight. I am struggling to multitask.

I feel for you ski. I think it's just something they do.

BTW Squeaker, as she will now be known, does love a swaddle, but that's no comfort at all at the moment. She has boob lust, and it's not going away. I have given in, but it does not help that it coincided with her father's return to work (as of yesterday morning). we eat, sleep and do fuck all else. hence my general online absence, which will resume about now. I am too bloody tired.

hope things are brighter elsewhere.

Def boobs not feeling full does not mean no milk (in my experience anyway). Mine have deflated and gone dahn sahth but are still productive.

If he's growing and you're getting the nappies, he's getting enough milk. He just likes the boobies. That's what it sounds like anyway.

It does pass fer sure. But it's hell while it happens, eh. I was ready to put him back last night. Swaddling just meant I didn't have to fight his arms but so could concentrate on the latch but that's all.

However today I have tried a new strategy - NOT FEEDING. (I previously mentioned I'm an evil mamma, right?). Fortunately he took a dummy and was pretty happy - and I understand that Julian's not doing that - but all I can say is what I'm doing which is undoubtedly useless to you

Anyway, so I left him nappy-off with the dummy for an hour or so and waited until he actually cried for milk. I think I've been a bit too attachment-parenting, baby-led, taking his rooting cues as wanting feeding as opposed to wanting mummylove. When he really seemed hungry I swaddling him and put him on at which point he had a really good feed with not too much messing around and then just fell asleep. Perfect.

All I now need is for my husband to come home. I'm spoilt as he works from home but I missed him terribly, really badly last night. And to make things worse, Comma had a terrible night and about 4 dirty nappies (normally we just change him when he feeds) and in the end I was so exhausted I just couldn't change him and he's woken up with nappy rash today, poor bairn (hence nappy off time).

HV says I can take Rastus swimming. Whatn sort of flotation shiz would he need you reckon?

cunty happy nappy or similar kind of neoprene nappy (imagine a net, which is what most swim nappies have, stopping BM poo). Also I recommend a babywrap which is a neoprene wrap over suit which keeps them warm and also gives you grip (wet babies are slippery). No flotation suits until they're toddlers.

Both available from MAC. Other suppliers are available

sold

Just got to wait for me to 'dry up' then!

Are they only one size?

No, both the nappies and wraps are in different sizes. You'll want the ickle ones.

Yeah, I'm really keen to swim. Think it would help me to feel like I'm doing something about the belly.

ski how are you feeling? Really worried about you Are you having ups and downs? Meaning is it ok some of the time?

Rots twas I who bled to death lost a lot of blood. I said I was happy with a managed 3rd stage but to be honest I can't remeber any of it. I was shaking, then given pethidine and was kust unaware of what was going on. I actually about 3 hours later if I had delivered the placenta and they just said "oh yes"

OK so you did have a managed 3rd stage and still bled? Did you find out why? I mean, was there a reason at all? Are you more at risk this time?

I'm obviously going to need to dig into this more on my side but if we have another I need to seriously consider whether I go for managed. It was an educated choice that I made and I don't necessarily think it was the wrong one, as in the end even though severe PP bleeding is rare it does happen to some people.

cas and cunty what did you go for?

rots I'm actually doing very well - in a very good place mentally - details in other place because it's not for here.

Thank you fanny - I feel very confident with what I'm doing right now and have "forgiven myself". I know you don't have access to the other place - but for your eyes only , I contacted LLL yesterday and was distinctly . No more to be said here!

Yesterday was a resounding success - the walk in the park was lovely but just as we were leaving I heard a cyclist's bell behind us and approximately 3 seconds later she missed the pram by literally 6 inches. Good job Bear was asleep because both his parents launched in to a severe swearing attack which would've made a navvy blush. She was shouting back "I dinged my bell, you should've moved"! We were livid - good job she cycled off really! She was totally in the wrong, it wasn't a bike path and dinging your bell does not give you the right to mow people down obviously! She was going waaaay too fast - I mean I knew she was there, but I didn't have time to turn around never mind drag my c-sectioned self on to the grass with Bear. Very, very angry - I think if she'd hit the pram jailbait would've ripped her head off! I hope she realises what a stupid arse she was - it's a bit like me running over a pedestrian and saying "Well, tooted my horn innit".

In the afternoon we did our first trip out to the shops which was lovely. Lame, but lovely. Just the supermarket and a couple of baby things but it was just nice to get out and about a bit.

Bear slept through both outings without a peep - he's a little star!

I sprung no leaks yesterday however I was sat on the loo about 90 minutes ago when I heard a splosh and my feet were hot & wet. For a brief second I was hesitant to look down for fear of what colour and where it might've come from... Thankfully just clear yellow plasma from behind the incision which tbh I'd rather out than in - in it builds pressure.

Bear is asleep right now so I'm going to try and trim his nails.

Hi FESHs!!!

Am laying in bed catching up before I have to get up and get ready for jail work.

Interesting read about the BF. In MuvvaCare I picked up a leaflet about BF seminar Ryle thing for preggos at the hossie. Do you think it's too early to go along? I have memory like sieve....

Think I am going to take up preggo yoga but am worried about wind. Mine. Not the other laydees. Can you imagine the shame!

On a FESH note I saw some swaddles in Boots. How many will I need? Secondly, are there ones to go for? Avoid?

morning all. ski I have responded in other place.

silver in my experience, preggo yoga didn't involve too much actual yoga. Certainly not the wid-inducing stuff I have experienced at normal classes. Preggo classes very helpful too. If you are planning to BF, I would say absorb all info you can asap. every little must help - it's not something that just happens, it has to be learned and can be very trying. so get yersel ready, I say!

rots I had a managed first stage. I did read up on it all and decided that was for me. Glad I did too.

cunty that is exactly my fear WRT swimming - springing a leak at the poolside and turning it into a milk bath... I'm going to start her swimming in the bath I think.

Right, she's just decided it;'s chow time. Will try to come back later.

Oh no, I mean a below stairs leak cas . Boobs generally behave themselves...

Had a managed 3rd stage rots - had left myself the option although little else went to plan so even if I'd not wanted it they would have done it anyway. They cut the cord straight away cos of a tiny bleed, despite me being vocal about leavin it ten mins. Still a bit vexed about that

ski Glad you are feeling better. So much of this lark is about having confidence in yourself. And sadly,so much of the 'advice' culture seems designed to achieve the opposite, making us feel undermined or even condemned. It helps to be brave enough to trust our own parenting instincts from time to time!

Getting out and about is good. It's a break for everyone, and they can settle for suprisingly long periods when on the move or looking at new surroundings. Then when they remember they're hungry they really are, and will have a proper feed. One thing I did last time was go to the movies - a local independent cinema has a parent and baby screening once a week. Hilarious and brilliant.

Clyde is asleep face first on my chest. Nothing else would do, apparently. So cute!

cas and cunty I'm afraid I wouldn't dare swim yet as I'm leaking both upstairs and downstairs.

Nice day today. Went for lunch with MIL (birthday). Enjoyed muchly but incredibly tired afterwards.

ski so glad you're ok. Read your FB stuff and so with you and interesting that everyone felt the same as you given that most people feel there's only pressure to exclusively BF - yet so many people go down the route you are, one way or another. Good on you.

What's this about the GP who missed "baby Peter's" injuries? Can't imagine how he feels but so horrific that for whatever reason he didn't pick up on his injuries. So terribly tragic.

cunty have you asked why they cut the cord earlier than you wanted to? If you're vexed and there's a reason, it would help. I would be seriously but if there's a good reason...

cas TBH I think I would have a managed 3rd stage next time given this experience but I don't think I made the wrong decision either if that makes sense. No real right or wrong, is there. Loving having knowledge though and how we all have made informed decisions.

Pliz to advise what to say to the hospital peeps about the cord.

Pliz to explain about managed 3rd stage and shiz.

Silver, 3rd stage is when the placenta is delivered and what happens is that the uterus clamps down on the big blood vessels between it and the placenta. Placenta comes away, uterus clamps and contracts, blood vessels closed off.

One of the ways women used to (and very rarely still do in the West) die in childbirth is when this process didn't work which caused PP haemorrhage.

They therefore came up with a drug called Syntometrin. This helps the uterus to clamp down on the blood vessels and releases the placenta more quickly than when left to nature. This is called a managed 3rd stage as opposed to a natural one.

Unfortunately, very, very rarely it can happen too quickly and lead to a retained placenta - where the placenta is captured by the uterus and needs an operation to retrieve it.

Also, they used to give the injection just as the baby was in the process of being delivered so if there was a problem of the baby being delayed or getting stuck then the placenta would already be coming away and very, very rarely babies were damaged or died because of this (but this is NO LONGER deemed correct practise).

Typically now the injection is given after the baby is born and can be left for a while before the cord is cut. You then just get less time to wait for the placenta to be delivered (usually within a few minutes of the injection as opposed to 30-60 minutes or more without it).

With a managed 3rd stage you are likely to bleed less at delivery, but it's thought that there's the same amount of blood there so you have lochia for longer.

Almost everyone goes for a managed 3rd stage and it makes a great deal of sense. The benefits are less bleeding - con is potential of retained placenta. I don't know what the statistics are, and therefore the risks, of PP haem V retained placenta.

I decided to go for a natural 3rd stage but it wasn't in the end the best decision because although I didn't fully haem, I did lose more blood than my body could deal with (athough this may have happened anyway). Of course, as okie has shown, having a managed 3rd stage doesn't always stop haem either... but it stops it most of the time.

If I had another baby I don't know what decision I'd make to be honest. I'd have to really seriously think about it. I guess that if I was in hospital I'd go for natural. If at home, managed.

On another note, can I ask what everyone's baby's sleep patterns are like? Comma is sleeping most of the time still and I'm getting a bit worried. Even when he's awake he is mostly just really chilled out, especially if he's being cuddled. I know I should be grateful but it just doesn't seem right... and I'm being paranoid.