Comma?s birth story
So as you know, my waters broke on the Wednesday night/Thursday morning. Eventually on Monday morning I woke at about 4am feeling the odd contraction but nothing really convincing. I started to time them just in case but there was no real regularity so I tried to go back to sleep (without too much success). I really wanted to wake YOB but didn?t want to disturb his sleep! Anyway, when he woke up at about 7ish I told him that I?d been feeling stuff but it wasn?t regular.
We just had a normal morning and I kept an eye on timings, vaguely. About mid morning I was getting a mild contraction about every 15 minutes and then every fourth one was a bit stronger. Unfortunately in between I was getting what felt like period pain which was really wearing and annoying as the pain ?should? stop between the contractions.
Suddenly, at about 11.30, they went to about every 7 minutes and strong enough for me to have to concentrate on breathing through them a bit, and stand and swing my hips. I was suddenly concerned that things would kick off quickly so I phoned the labour ward and said we were coming in (and booked the pool) and we got stuff together and headed off. Before we did YOB put on the TENS machine which was an amazing relief as it took away the between contraction discomfort completely, and made the contractions much easier to deal with.
When we arrived at the hospital they went back to every 10 minutes or so and the MW wasn?t at all sure that I was really labouring properly (obviously this would still be classed as pre-labour). I?d asked mum to come in and she was asking why I?d come in so early but I just knew that it was the right thing to do. After an hour or so things started to go back to being regular and every 5-7 minutes and this is totally normal for things to slow down when transferring, so I reckon if I?d stayed at home it would have been moving on faster and the transfer would have been horrible.
The MW went through our birth plan and said it was all ok, but she asked to get the CFM on for 20 minutes just to get a baseline reading, and I agreed to this. It Was Horrible. Even though the cables were quite long I couldn?t really move without it messing up the readings and I was so uncomfortable and found handling the contractions really hard. I ended up on all fours which was the best way to cope but desperately wanted it off me. I couldn?t have coped with it through labour (as I had to with LC) ? it really interfered with my pain control.
I found that leaning over the bed and doing a John Wayne impression with my legs (obviously my body telling me to open up) was the most comfortable way of contracting. But mum made me go on a walk through the hospital (active labour and all that!) which was REALLY hard work. I was contracting every 2-3 minutes or so (the walking really kicked it off) and I had to lean over something and breathe really deeply through it. I was getting a bit grumpy apparently and not liking my mum for making me walk . It?s all very well saying to keep active in labour as it keeps things going, but keeping things going means more pain! Obviously it?s the right thing to do but it was hard.
The TENS machine was brilliant. It really takes the top off the contractions and makes them much more bearable. Because I?d tried G&A with LC and I knew it didn?t agree with me, that wasn?t an option so unless I went for the proper stuff I knew I had to be mentally prepared for no drugs ? and I was always worried that Pethadine would be like the G&A but worse ? taking me totally out of control ? and also of course I worried about the effects on the baby.
At about 4pm (not sure exactly on timing) we got back to the labour ward and I refused to leave it again! I was fed some biscuits and we walked around the ward a couple of times, listening to a woman in the throes of mooing which actually didn?t phase me at all, but as I lent over the MW?s desk to get through a cx I suddenly found that the biscuits didn?t agree with me and threw up quite a lot which was nice. I did manage to warn them so bowls were supplied, but I felt really bad doing so at someone?s desk! The MW there (not mine) basically ignored me and my apologising although after the 50th apology she looked at me and said, ?It?s a labour ward. It?s fine?! Clearly not something she?d not experienced before!
I then decided that I really wanted to get into the water. I?d been asking for it for a while but they didn?t think I was progressed enough, and as I?d requested no VE they couldn?t confirm. However I really felt that I was very actively labouring, but as I was not screaming they thought I wasn?t! I have to say that I was cursing Grantly Dick-Read and his ?if you relax it won?t hurt? crap, but then I tried thinking about it a bit more and trying to work it out. It turned out that if I absolutely forced myself to relax (contrary as that sounds) at each cx, and visualising myself opening up and allowing the baby to slowly slip out, it actually did make the cx less painful by a long way, so I really think there?s a lot in it.
So they said the water was ready, and I remember going into the pool room and stripping right off, but then wanting to put my swimming top on which I?d brought for some slight bit of coverage. I stood by the side of the pool, looking into the water and just feeling it was right and desperate to jump in! We had to take the TENS off but I was terrified of having a cx without it so after I had one I asked YOB to take it off as fast as possible (I remember begging him to yank it off, despite the really sticky pads being very firmly attached) and I got into the pool and it felt amazing. I told the MW I?d gone back 4 hours by which I meant pain level, but she thought I meant in the labour and she started talking about induction if things weren?t progressing in another few hours ? which totally confused me but I just nodded and smiled, thinking there?s no way I?m going to be induced ? this baby will be born soon!
I don?t remember much for a while. YOB adjusted the water level so I could lean against the side how I wanted to without drowning (always a bonus) and I concentrated on breathing through the cx. Mum coached me on the breathing (REALLY deep as far as I could breathe in and really slow out completely). YOB just stroked my arm (for hours) which felt absolutely wonderful ? like I had a connection with him and he was just there, without getting in the way of my concentration. At some point I threw up again but was able to get to the side and warn them again, fortunately, and very soon after that I really felt that I couldn?t cope anymore and it was all too much and I wanted to go home, etc? I realised that I was in transition but as I didn?t mention it to anyone they didn?t realise! I felt him coming down through inside me which was odd, and I DID say this (I said something like this baby?s coming) and the MW asked if I had a lot of pressure on my back passage and I said no. She?d thought I meant that he was actually just ready to be born (which as they didn?t know I?d gone through transition must have been a surprise) but I was just trying to say he was on the move ? it all got very confusing.
I?d had one lot of IV antibiotics but needed another before he was delivered, so after the MW decided he wasn?t going to be born imminently that was left a bit, which was a mistake! Soon after that I started to feel the cx getting a ?bit pushy? but, remembering what happened to poor cunty and also remembering a warning in a Sheila Kitzinger book about not pushing too early for that very reason, I concentrated on breathing through it all for as long as I could. They built up into feelings that I really couldn?t do a lot about but I still tried to stop it happening but eventually I let it take over. By this time the top of his head was already visable anyway and it took about 4 or 5 contractions (maybe 10 minutes) to birth his head. I remember fighting the pushing by telling myself that it was really hard, and really painful, but that if I didn?t do this right I would be damaged forever and this would pass, soon enough. His head was born which was the strangest feeling because I could feel it hanging out of me and I couldn?t help but worry that I ? he - was underwater!! It seemed like ages and was probably about 1-2 minutes, but the MW was very chilled and just told me to wait for the next cx then really push him out hard, and the rest of him just came out no problem.
Someone grabbed him and passed him up to me, and he cried for a moment, then just went really calm and serene. We stayed in the water for about 5 minutes and I remember the pain just going ? it was wonderful! I noticed the pool filling up with blood, which was scary but normal, and they helped me out of the pool and then supported me on the floor to deliver the placenta. That was really painful as although the cx were not as bad at all as the labour, I felt that I?d done enough and that these weren?t really doing anything useful! While that happened YOB held him skin to skin which was lovely.
After the placenta was delivered we waited a while and then tied off the cord with our embroidery thread that we?d brought with us. YOB cut the cord and I was moved into the bathroom for a shower but I stood in the bathroom with blood dripping alarmingly out of me and making quite a puddle on the floor. I pretty much collapsed on the floor and nearly fainted, and was helped to the loo but couldn?t stand up at all. They got me onto the bed in the room next to the pool room, and slowly the bleeding stopped but I was pretty wiped out and fell asleep for an hour and a half while Comma suckled on YOB?s nipple through his teeshirt! Clearly a child with commitment, if not yet the ability to think laterally.
We were in there for a few hours until I felt up to being transferred. I?d been given a clean up on the bed as there was no way I could make it to the shower and I was wheeled into the maternity unit where unfortunately YOB had to leave us. Getting through that night was tough as the afterpains were really bad and I ended up taking co-codamol ironically given my drug-free labour, and I couldn?t get out of bed without the room spinning so it wasn?t fun. But we did, and here we are.