FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

go freedomfanny!

moo one four-day shift pattern full pay and one on SMP. meant i had him for 28 days!

lactulose is my wonder drug of preference for constipation

CRIKES, she's piercing my ears all of a sudden. back later

hurrah, i gets to take Squeaks to a wedding next month, so i have excuse to shop in Monsoon baby! wedding also means i;ll no longer be oop Leeds way at that point...

but what the fuck do i wear? no way i can shape up in under one month!

Maxi dress innit. Embrace your inner spanx hippy.

I do hope you've run taking Squeaker to a wedding by the AIBU crowd!

I have been invited to a wedding 4 weeks after my due date. It is child-free. Given the family rule of all babies being born 2 weeks late, it could be challenging, although I did go to a 40th birthday party with a 3 week old DD. I've just shrugged and thought 'oh, well.' OH has turned into some kind of caveman over the matter. It is one of his friends, and he has declared he is going to ring him up to give him a lesson in the wheres, whys and hows of newborn babies. I will be hiding behind the sofa when he does this, pretending I am not there

i'm with your husband boxy, that is pretty unreasonable!

maxi is one plan, but v few of them cover the fat upper arms. guess i need a jacke/cardi/bolero as well... off to the sales then

oh yes ski, will my baby die if she stays up partying all night in a pretty dress?

I've put social services on speed-dial - because what sort of a woman would want a night out when she's got a baybeeeee at home? You're a disgrace to womankind etc., etc.

Google hunt depressing. Thinking the gorgeous maxi dresses I'm looking at on tall skinny non-babyfied models might not look so hot on a 5'4" chubber.

Hey Boxy - is that the wedding I think it is??? They has many friends who've had baybee so know the score so I reckon they'd be OK with bringing the littlest box (just not the bigger one) so worth asking.

Would be a great pity to miss out on the fantastic parteee

Rots - I can be in Windsor on 11th.....need to get new outfit for said wedding so a trip to JoJo Maman Bebe is def. called for (& they has one in Windsor no)

Yep - that wedding! Bigger box definitely not coming along either way. There are limits even for me

Snot fair. I want to go to Windsor.

motherhen you bring the pate I will bring the pimms with gin chasers! We can then natter bout horses til we bore ourselves rigid. Ackshalleee I know v little about driving nags so look forward to a fast track sesh.

honey Him Indoors gets two weeks as half pay but he has to tell them now when he wants to take the time which is an absolute farce.

caspy I have just bought a dress for my birthday in a few weeks. I am 5'5" and definitely chubby. I bought this... oh damn, I was just about to link but it's no longer on the website. Anyway, it's a Hobbs dress called Hempel which is all floaty so covers the flab nicely. A bit daring on the upper arms but MrP assures me it looks great. (I loves him.) I will wear a bolero cardy to start with though.

Hello. I iz not dead. Just thought you should all know.

Baybee is feeding. I iz tired. Dog is patient. This is the current status quo.

Hopes you all ok.

Hello Iggy! Glad you are still with us - just. It gets better.....

iggy That sounds... about right. The tiredness does go on a bit.

honey Yes, I have a super dooper electric pump (Ameda lactaline). I would thoroughly recommend making the investment. My experience this time is so different from last time when I struggled with a piddly little manual pump that got me nowhere.

rots How you doin'?

silver that paternity leave arrangement seems a bit crap. Is that legal?

I'm off to visit a friend today. I have actually managed to bake some muffins to take with me. I did this last night when on a high from my super-mum day. After I cooked a tasty and nutritious meal for the family MrP went on a rescue call out, so for the first time I managed Bonnie's bath and bed time all on my own while juggling Clyde. There were lots of cuddles and no screams, so I felt quite brilliant. I thought she would miss Daddy's singing (he plays the guitar and sings for her) so I sang her Morningtown instead. When I had finished she cuddled me and said 'Again.' Awww. It's moments like that that make my heart go whoosh.

What is NAK?

You can rent the hospital version Medela for pennies - it's 100s new.

fanny I'm well impressed with your pumpage - it takes me 20 minutes to get 10ml.

iggy Very glad to hear you're doing well.

Cossie As per our agreement earlier in the year I'm getting back in to the saddle this afternoon. Cossie and I agreed that we'd have to get back in to our respective saddles within a month (?) of giving birth otherwise there's a chance of time slipping away and we'd end up nervous ninnies too scared/precious to ever ride again. I know it's been 6 weeks but I hope you'll forgive me!

MIL & great-granny are soon to be Edinburgh bound!

I am well impressed with Fanny's pumping on one side and feeding on t'other. How many hands have you got??

Moo not sure on Inception tbh. Never go out to cinema any more but took advantage of my mum as babysitter and felt a bit ripped off as it did not live up to my anticipated expectations. Want to go and see Salt now.

Poor iggy - cluster feeding eh? The gift that keeps on giving...

Hey all!
I am off to a wedding myself when I will be 32 weeks (and another after that actually, when I will be 35...)- anyhoo, I have a maternity evening dress that my Sil lent me, and, though I thought the day would never come, well, it now fits. Does it look amazing? No, it does not. But boyfy says I look lovely in it and I guess it would be less hassle to believe him than to cry in front of the mirror and then attempt to shop for something else. I shall accessorize! Perhaps a large "fascinator" (recently acquired vocabulary item :) )

Curly it is sometimes hard to find something you feel good in when you know you are not your normal shape. I would be against a maxi dress actually. My mum was convinced that such a dress would be just the thing for my pregnant self to float through the summer in and I must have tried on every dress in my home town. They looked one worse than the other. In a weird and unexpected way, they made me look waaaaaayyy bigger than I was and were terrible in the boob area. So, steer clear! I'd say, find something more fitted or just a better shape. You look lovely in your photos with squeaks and I think you will find something that will be just right. Don't be upset when you don't fit in to your normal size either - it is temporary and should not be allowed to get you down! I randomly picked up a size 18 tunic-dress in the sales, which fits me bizarrely well and which everyone tells me looks great.

fanny I shall take note of the that pump name. Very impressive pumping Missus! Now, pump your way to freedom.

boxy thanks so much for writing out your whole visualisation process for me. I found that really helpful and it gave me a better idea of what I am trying to achieve. The book and CD I have are nice, but they don't really bring you a very clear idea of what you are working towards (presumably the course would serve this purpose). I will work something out for myself, which I am sure will be helpful.

cunts yes... Cluster feeding... And on and on and on... Feel like nipples will soon stretch below waist...

Incidentally am over your way early next week... If you might be free?

Alas I will be in the Lakes iggs. Perhaps the week after? Soon though pliz!

poor iggy

just been to HV clinic. My little fatty is a whole 9lb 2oz. She let loose with her first daily poo in weeks right on the scales, right after i told the nice lady i was worried she might be a bit bunged up. nice lady said all looked very healthy from what she could see!

thanks for dress tips. i shall invesigate all option.

I've been to the stables and had my first ride! It was fantastic - I was a bit nervous at first as she was going bonkers and kicking the stable door in as the others were let out as I was tacking up. Decided now or never rather than lose my bottle. Only rode for 15 minutes as neither of us are fit although did squeeze in a rather excited bucking canter! Sitting trot sore and getting off was the most painful thing! Because thinking about it you kind of do a "plank" (abs exercise) because you're using your tummy muscles to support your body whilst you swing the leg over the saddle. It was bloody excellent though and she worked well considering only numpties have ridden for the last 6 months!

I really feel it improved my mental well-being too and I feel invicible! :) Now I know what ML is for - it's for getting your horse fit!

Only fly in the ointment is that my arse is not going to fit in to my dressage saddle for some considerable time!

I really enjoyed Inception - but Ellen Page is such a drip, could they not have got her some trousers which fit? OK, I know she's a lesbian and weighs 6 stone but there's no reason for her to be wearing such god-awful unflattering clothes!

Is she the one that looks about 12 Ski?