May 2010: All the babies have arrived, welcome to the other side!

[rachelfruitloop]

Here we are ladies, a new Postnatal thread! I wonder if we'll fill this one up as fast with one-handed typing?!

wouldliketoknow, i have been told that they are getting enough if they have plenty of wet nappies, that doesnt help at the time though.

home, i just want to avoid panicking into a bottle straight after a good feed just 'cos he is crying, bf is improving but not enough to exclusive bf yet[crossing fingers really hard]. and hoping for a trick... asking too much, i know.

Homebirth I think thats excellent night sleeping, better than Alex who continues (on a good night) to wake at 2 and 5.

pigley I didnt realise you could go to NCT toddler classes without being a member,will now look them up

wouldliketoknow I am no expert and I now mix feed. Alex has formula 630pm, 10pm and 5am and I feed him approximately 7am, 930am, 12noon, 2 and 5pm but normally I like to try to give him 20 mins one side and up to 20 mins on the other, sometimes he seems hungry afterwards but is putting weigh on (lots of it!!) and can get to the next feed so I figure he cant be starving . I think if I offered feeds hourly, formula or me, he would take them as he is a hungry boy. I know some people dont like dummys but its proving really useful for me to get him to go 2 or 3 hourly between feeds (he is 9 weeks old on monday), I dont give it all the time but sometimes to get him to sleep or make him wait 10 mins until I get home to feed him etc.

all especially those with toddlers, i really need some advice. will post in behaviour too. my dd is 2.5, always been high spririted, beautiful and clever and a high needs little girl. she goes to nursery 3 days a week (for now) and home with me and alex the other 2. she was coping ok with his arrival until last week and has got progressively worse. she is being awful, today screaming (not crying but full on hysterical screaming) as she wanted to sit on my knee whilst i was driving the car down the M1, she then proceeded to attempt to get out of her car seat, when that didnt work, she threatened to wee and poo I know she is jealous ("mummy dont feed him", "mummy i need you") etc so I want to be gentle but I cant cope with her behavior.

Also she has taken to waking, so one night a few days ago she was up from 1-3am upset with alex up from 2-3 and 5-6 ..... its very difficult and she resents my feeding him, always saying "but daddy can do it"

homebirth the list was last posted at the very start of this thread if you want to dig it out. I think it's good to keep it up to date too; would be a shame to lose all those details even though we haven't heard from many of the ladies in a long time. No one person was 'in charge' of it but I updated it a lot towards the end as I was so bored waiting for Jude
Fab about Virginia's sleeping well done you. Don't worry about the weight. One of my NCT friends was concerned her dd hadn't put on weight but her HV said they really should only be weighed once a month to stop this worrying. The following wk she had put on a few ounces.

wouldlike congrats on the feeding such great news. I really admire your perseverance and it seems to be paying off I know Jude has had enough if he stops rooting around for food. If I gently stroke the side of his mouth & he turns his head and opens his mouth, it usually means he's still hungry. When he's had a good long feed, he won't be interested if I put the boob next to his mouth again after a burp. Hope that helps.

pamela so sorry about your dd's behaviour..and sorry I have no advice as a newbie myself! Can you maybe go out alone with her if your dh can watch Alex for a bit?

Has anyone heard from alimouse maybe on the facebook group or anything? Hope she's doing ok.

I finally learnt properly how to use my Close sling and I LOVE IT. Proudly paraded J round in it round the supermarket and got lots of admiring looks and yesterday strapped him on and off we went for dinner at Wagamama...who said you couldn't have dates after a baby eh??
Today J was fussing all morning & wouldn't go to sleep so I put him in it & went for a quick walk; he dropped off in a matter of seconds

pamelat, that's what happens with oscar, he always seems hungry after feeding from me, got a bit of success this morning (15 min each side), went one hour until next feed, but this afternoon he took himself of the breast (10 min each side) and was screaming like crazy so i gave him a bottle, not as big as normal, and he seemed happy. the only difference i noticed, in the morning i could feel my breast engorged, but not in the afternoon.i have never been able to breast feed really, it was more expressed milk and formula, and cracked nipples from trying, so oscar is 10 weeks old but i am really clueless, at least, we finally learnt to latch properly and it doesn't hurt anymore.
sorry about dd, unfortunately clueless here, i only have the one, and the only nephew that has a sister there is 6 years difference, so he is loving playing older brother, especially because they have different mums so they don't live together. but really interested in hearing what people advice, for the future.

thanks both

wouldliketoknow Alex much happier at morning feeds from me too, some babies are "lazy" when milk supply is lower. I know that the 5pm feed is bad for Alex but that there is milk (I can see it) but it clearly isnt quick enough for him!! I would replace this one with formula but then the 2/3pm ish will become slow etc (I think ) and before I know it I will have inadvertently given up b/feeding, when not really ready to. Sounds like you doing really well.

pufffffffff!!!!, i don't know, i am just trying to get some milk into him somehow, really severe asthma and allergies in the family, i tried to give up sometimes, but i can't bring myself to do it, so breast, expressed or even if i have to force him while asleep... i'll find a way. the only good thing is that even he is used to bottles, he is always happy to go to the breast, even while holding a bottle in front of his face he is trying to latch on the t-shirt...i know there is milk because i express after every feed and get some, i always express after every feed, even while not feeding him to get healed, so i synchronize my body to his feeding, in the hope of one day fully bf, or at least in a good proportion. thank you for your help,

Olivia slept 11-6 last night!..fingers crossed she does it again...

re: contraceptives..just condoms for us..until DH bites the bullet and gets the snip..mind you we have only dtc 3 times..Olivia is acting as a fab contraceptive at the moment

re: contraceps, back on the pill, not that anything is happening, bad episotomy means it is gonna be painful, will have to plan romantic weekend with lots of booze(read two beers for me), we want to have more, this is our first one, so not snip any time soon.

wouldllike I too am struggling to bf, and have been getting sooo frustrated. But, managed to get LO from 5/6 bottles a day to just three, and man are my nipples feeling it!

I'm on the mini-pill, although I'm coming off it again, as the side effects are driving me nuts...

Ref toddlers and new babies, my DP has 2 kids from a previous relationship and his DD met Theo for the first time a couple of weeks ago. As soon as DP held Theo, his DD started wanting attention. Don't really know what to suggest about it, perhaps get her her own 'baby' to look after so that she can be like mummy? Maybe get your DP to distract her with something??

HTH, and I hope we all have bf success!

Hi all. Middle of the night feeding again. Getting better at this phone posting I think. Probably not the only one of us up right now. Had a bad night last night though - every 1-2 hours and was so tired but day ended on a high after a late afternoon nap and a good evening with all the family. My parents took ds and dd1 out for lunch and me,dh and Molls went to Belfast to tax my new car and sort out our licences which were still in our Scottish address - that's been on my to do list for 5 years! Next thing will be a passport for Molls and replacement one for ds. We hope to go visit dh's family in Nottingham vicinity in October and will need passports for the flights. How on earth do I get a photo of Molls which meets the criteria? First got a passport for dd1 when she was 18 months and when ds was born he was allowed on mine. I'm old!

hbmummy why are the hcps weighing Virginia weekly? That's just designed to cause stress. Often babies have slower growth weeks probably because the nutrition has been going to her brain development. I think you're right that she is the youngest baby of our gang which has an impact now but won't so much in a few more months. Smiling happens in such a small window of about 4-6 weeks but other stuff like crawling can be normal over such a big time frame. Ds crawled at 5.5 months and dd1 at 8 months. I'd happily bet that Virginia will meet other milestones before some of the other babes. Not that it matters - it's not a race.

wouldliketoknow - thanks for advice re asthma. It sucks. I'm so lucky it was a one off for me although I do have eczema fairly badly at times. On my scalp at present - so itchy. Have got shampoo to use and mousse so will get better soon. But annoying and definitely worse at the moment because I'm tired. Will use inhalers before approaching cats in future but will mainly just avoid them. More trouble than they're worth.

ml thanks for explanation re eye colour. Had wondered how we ended up with a brown eyed dd. Must have been the same milkman who gave ds and now Molls red hair when dh has dark blonde hair and I have mid brown. Good job dh trusts me although all 3 kids looked exactly like him as a baby. In fact they looked nothing like me which is so unfair as I did all the work growing and birthing them. Ds looks more like me now.

Re toddlers. You'll survive. I did last time when ds was 3 when dd1 was born but he was seriously hard going. I went to parenting class and that helped. As did a book called "sibling rivalry" by I think faber and mazlish. They also wrote a good book called "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" Bit American but useful. The two things that worked best for me were loads of positive reinforcement when ds was being nice and unless violent ignoring or just removing her and fussing over her when he wasn't being nice and allowing him to verbalise when he found her annoying. You have to allow more negative feelings to come out or they fester. We had a special hand squeeze and cuddle for when visitors/ the grandparents were fussing over the baby and I encouraged him to tell me when he was irritated by her. That was easier as he was 3 and so more verbal than your littler ones but even saying yourself to the bigger one that you find it annoying when people say the baby is so cute but they don't have to listen to all the crying helps the bigger one know their feelings are accepted and valid. So that's what worked for a 3 year gap. Wish I knew what to do about a 9 year one!

hi all my crazy friend got me up for the Next Sale, Jacob had me up at 4 anyway, got him a few bits and bobs, he went through 4 outfits yesterday with explosive poos so we need some more clothes! Am having a birthday tea party for family today for DP, DD1 and DD3 so pretty stressed about getting everything ready will probably go for the food after Jacob's next feed.

Contraception - we will just use condoms until DP gets the snip, not that we have DTD since

Sibling rivalry - DD3 has been on the whole brilliant with Jacob it's the other 2 she is really jealous of and lashes out at yesterday she hit DD2 on the head with a plastic panda then went and put herself in the naughty corner before coming and cuddling DD3 and telling her sorry! I am sure she and Jacob will have their fights in the future. Baby is the first thing she asks for when she gets up "Where's baby?" DD1 is more jealous of DD2 but that's more material possessions than Mummy affection. I suppose having 4 so close they have all just come to realise they need to share me.

hbm - I think weekly weighing is a bad thing too just makes you worry more, just don't take her for a few weeks. I'm useless with clothes as well, like you I have lost all confidence, I have the standard Mummy outfits now t-shirt, jeans and flat shoes, no make up and hair not "done" SO need a hair cut it is frightening. My friend is 2 weeks postnatal and has bought this for a wedding, I know it's maternity but she says it is flattering and good for BFing too

wouldliketoknow - I'm not a BF expert just a Mum who has BF 4 children but you are wanting to EBF, is that right? Babies use BFing not just for food but for comfort and closeness to Mum so sometimes they will just suck for the sake of it, even if mine are full up, 10 mins later they would still have a suck if offered just because it's nice for them not because they are hungry. If you want to EBF you need to feed more not less, the more you feed the more milk you will produce, each and every bottle you give interferes with the process of making milk as your body thinks it need to make less IYSWIM? Personally I would up the BFs and pump inbetween even if you don't think you are getting much out, all the feeding/expressing will boost your supply. Hope that helps a wee bit.

cupcake - mmm wagamama, DP and I don't have babysitters, very occasionally SIL will come up for an afternoon, it's my birthday next month and we are going to try and get to Wagamama's, taking Jacob with us, the older ones don't really like the food. Glad you like your Close sling as well.

morning all
re passport photo, guidelines for babies are just a white background, full head in whole of picture. shops do it with digital camara, we already have oscar's.
re weight, hv told me to weight him no closer than once a month, weekly increases are irregular and don't mean much, if the weight gain is too small it will be pick up and a month is not a lot of time, baby won't suffer any damage
re feeding, i am trying to breastfeed, ebm is a poor substitute, but still do it in between, to increase production and substitute at least a bottle of formula for ebm, thanks or all the encouragement, nikki, lanolin in those nipples and plenty of it, prevention is best.i think the only good advise igot is from mums who bfed a couple of kids, experts, even those with children, are obnoxious, judgemental and unhelpful, imo.

ops, the local post office's passport person will probably know the best place to do it, the picture that is.

sorry to post again but have to say it, oscar got up at quarter past six, breast fed for over half an hour, still moody but i decided to wait till eight holding him to wait a bit before giving him a bottle, five to eight he was deeply asleep, now in his cot, ain't that marvellous, there is hope after all!

Chloe slept from 10-6 (proud mummy emoticon!), had a bottle and new nappy and back to sleep still. Ah bliss!

On a negative note though, my 3rd degree tear is still not healing despite a million rounds of antibs. I've had enough so have booked a consultation with a private consultant specialising in childbirth injury and wound healing issues on Tuesday. I don't have private medicine so will have to come out my pocket, but I just cant wait 8 weeks for a two minute appointment on the NHS.

hbm - another one who has given up with weekly weighings. Dont feel it's necessary. We know our babies best and if they look healthy, eating, weeing and pooing I'm sure they're just fine.

nikki - hi! sorry for the belated hello. I went back on the pill but despite being on it for 5 years no probs pre-pregnancy it sent my bleeding into 'bloody' mayhem. So have come off it after just one month and will let my body sort itself out for a while. Not that I'm on it for contraception (broke up with hubby days after baby was born but thats another story!), ironically took it to regulate myself!

Hi first1 - sorry the tear still isn't healed. What a pain that you have to go private but sometimes it's the only way - despite being an NHS hcp I know that. In fact dh goes to a private psychiatrist because our local NHS one is dire. I hope it gets sorted. Well done on the sleep. We're still not progressing in that area! But you knew that from the times when I post.

Re supply and breastfeeding. Two sides every feed and remember your boobs are never fully empty. You do still have some calorie rich hind milk when you think you have nothing. I am rubbish at telling if Molly is comfort sucking or hungry and yesterday took her off thinking it was pure comfort and I was empty and there was a real spurt coming from the nipple. The best way to boost supply is to feed but there are drugs which can help or more natural things like fenugreek (you can get tablets from health food shops) and oats. I reckon a batch of yummy syrupy flapjacks might do you good! If you want to use expressing to boost supply it does help after feeds but is even better if you can do it between feeds even once a day to trick your body into thinking baby is needing more milk. If it's possible chose a time when it's at least an hour since you fed and don't give baby the milk. The next day that extra milk will be produced automatically as part of your feeds iyswim. Re the pill - the combined pill is supposed to reduce supply at such an early stage and isn't recommended until after 6 months. Are you on the combined or mini pill?

i think is the mini, the one without gaps, my gp knows i am bf, but will ask him again
first, that must be painful
can' t tipe, unsettled baby, 30 min bf and no bottles so far today

wouldliketoknow no gaps is mini pill so no problem. I just know some gps know nothing about bf.

I'm on the injection - used the mirena before but we are deciding whether to try again next summer and think it's too much hassle to get the coil for just one year.

mollycuddles Read your post re contraception. I used to be on Depo. I was on it for 4 years I think. Thought it was great at the time as crap at remembering to take pills and DVT risk due to my BMI. However, it took a really long time for me to get back to normal after deciding to come off it. They say that it can take a year to be regular and properly fertile again. Everyone is different, but it took me three years to conceive after stopping it. Took me about two years to be regular again. Also didn't realise at time, but found it really suppressed my sex drive. Was a randy rabbit when I came off it .

Really hope I am not out of line telling you this and my experience was mine alone and may not happen, but saw your post saying you would possibly like another LO in 18 months. I would maybe think of coming off the jag quite a bit before you would like to conceive and using something else just in case it takes a bit longer. It is awesome for easiness of contraception though. Wee jag every 12 weeks and sorted. Really suited me for a long time when was def not wanting babies anytime soon. Please feel free to tell me to butt out and contraception is totally your choice. I just wish they had told me that it can take quite long to conceive when you have been on it for a while.

I have gone for the implant this time. No idea what to expect really. Don't know anyone who has had it and choices limited if you are bfing. So bad at taking pills so mini pill out of the question. Fertility supposed to return when it is removed and was no hassle/pain getting it inserted. Only been in a week so no side effects yet. Anyone had any experience with it?

BF 2 tops My sis told me this trick. Another thing I do is bought bump bands in smaller size and wear one round my waist under one top, so when I pull my top up the bump band covers my stomach. Also wear spanx up to my braline for same effect and smoother tum!

cupcake annoying Mil comments! Sam same, he can be awake all day or sleep most of day and he will still wake up for feed between 3 and4 and then at 6.30ish regardless.

Kaffa How is the bedtime routine going? Read bit back that you were having bit of success?

homebirth fab that things seem to be settling bit and on the massive burp!

Had first swim with Sam yesterday. He was v unsure and a little unhappy for most of it. Think it was the noise in the pool although pool temp in baby pool did not seem warm enough, but he had wee wetsuit thing on and other babies were not bothered. Screamed the place down when getting dressed although wrapped up warm whole time. Way worse than when he got his jags.

Thanks sassles - I used depo pre ds and got pg v quickly - about 14 weeks after last jag had one and only normal period. Pg with next cycle though I was a lot younger then. We're thinking about trying in 18 months and I plan to just have 4 jags giving me 6 months before that for things to settle. There is just no perfect contraception. If I didn't have so much weight to lose I just would let nature take its course and use nothing but I'm determined that I'll have a low enough bmi to use the midwife led unit next time.

Ps sassles - not offended at all. I stopped the depo pre ds because I'd been told by a drug rep it could be 2 years before I would conceive - he came a lot sooner than expected. She was trying to sell the implant so was obviously painting a negative picture of depo (I was a wee junior doc then and in those days reps regularly took us out and got us drunk. They're not allowed to do that now).

molly, thanks for the med advice, i don't know how much my gp knows about bf, considering he is a guy, as well, but i think he has kids, at least seems to be all clue up about little babies, but he is a good guy and knows i'll make lots of quesions, normally take a list so i won't forget anything, and i'll research his answers make sure he doesn't take the micky on me, so tends to tell me the truth and look up my question, also tells me to technical to be explain quickly and irrelevant as i am no medical student when i go too far, i once attempted to explain how to read an electrcardiogram print out, i knew what it meant but i couldn't read myself, you can guess where he send me, there is also another doctor in this surgery that has lied to me, and put me at risk, a couple of times, and with help of the nurses i defended myself, i refuse to see him now, so he also knows that i won't just take his word for it.

i also can read latin, so no mumble jumble words to confuse me, and study psychology so we do study a bit of general medicine, not much, but enough to know if something makes sense.
gosh, i sound like a gp hunter!, i like my gp, but i don't make an easy patient , i guess

I am a difficult patient too so don't worry wouldliketoknow