May 2010: All the babies have arrived, welcome to the other side!

[rachelfruitloop]

Here we are ladies, a new Postnatal thread! I wonder if we'll fill this one up as fast with one-handed typing?!

First1- hope your better and home soon

Carikube- How annoying that they are perfect whe its DH's turn. Its always when DH is working late that the girls play up! Glad the check went well.

MOlly- Glad the 6week check went well.

Hollyoaks- Have a fab break! Typically since saying about them napping together its become abit hit and miss.. grrr.

Hobnob- Make the most of the time to get things done! I feel guilty when Lucy is awake when im trying to get things done. Feels bit like im ignoring her

Dancing- 92 is a very good age Hope the funeral goes smoothly.
My grandads was interesting!! The hearse broke down and had to be jump started Was one of those moments when your laughing but know you shouldnt really. My grandad would of found it funny though.

Sassles- how annoying for you.

Den- great you sound so positive about it all Hope the appointment goes well.

SK- Hope you enjoy the holidays and having the extra pair of hands to help

Rachel- Enjoy having your sister here

DD1 hit Lucy on the head on thursday during a strop. Think she was just the nearest thing so unfortunately got a whack She hasnt done it since so I think he going mental at her worked. Apart from that loves her to bits and likes to take lucys hand and make her wave to her.

DH and I took both the girls swimming this morning. Lucy was laying on her float seat asleep!! She did wake up about half way through and loved it, wasnt fussed about DD1 splashing her and even had a dunk. She was very alert and taking everything in. DD1 is a waterbaby so guess that Lucy will be too.

Waiting for my sponge cake to cook, It smells yummy. Im doing a practice cake for DD1's 2nd birthday at the end of the month.

Weather is sunny and very hot here. Years ago I would of been laying out there sunbathing/cooking .... No chance now though. How times change

rachel I think you might have to take the initiative on the will tbh - it's too important to risk not getting one, esp if it affects your insurance. When we did ours, it was quite simple - we found a solicitor, filled in the forms they gave us so you can list assets etc so they can tell you whether you need inheritance tax planning (fat chance!!). It was on the basis of all this info that they drew up the draft wills for us. You could start the ball rolling by getting this bit done and then your DH can be proactive by 'tweaking' the draft to make him feel like he really is the one doing it all?!

Still no routine here; I'd like to get DD2 going to bed at the same time as DD1 so that we don't have to worry about her in the evenings as well, but she's not good at settling between 8-11pm without being cuddled and she certainly won't settle herself to sleep. I shouldn't complain too much as that is 3 nights in a row that she has gone from approx 11pm through to about 7am so at least I'm getting a decent chunk of sleep (though I was up at 4am with DD1 as DH had been out last night and the alcohol conveniently helped him sleep through the screaming ). I need to get her to learn to self-settle though ready for when we move the two DDs in to their own room (which will hopefully be in the next few weeks) as I don't want her learning to do it when she's already sharing with DD1. We'll have to get the room sorted soon as she's not going to get much more use out of the moses basket. I'm not too upset about the end of the newborn phase as I'm still convinced that we will be having DC3 at some point.

After DH's hard night last night, he's now asleep in the sunshine whilst I do everything. Done the washing, cleared up lunch, dealt with a crying DD1 (she's now in bed), changed some nappies, sorted out a crying DD2 and am sat here still rocking her chair to make sure she goes to sleep. Beginning to wonder whether I have 'mug' written on my forehead....

Quick post.

V impressed with the mammoth post Rachel.

I got the implant inserted on Thursday. Anyone else had this? Seems ok so far. Don't fancy coil and I am hopeless at remembering to take pill everyday at same time!

MIL doing my head in already. Few comments so far =

"are you still feeding him" "Oh are you feeding him again" with raised eyebrows.

When he had 1 watery nappy "I think he has a stomach infection". He was fine.

Then again when he sicked up quite a bit "I think he has a stomach infection". He was fine, just been jostled about too much.

She also keeps moving changing mat through to living room floor from the set up on the kitchen table. It's there due to my c section but she obv thinks it shouldn't be there. I keep moving it back

I let them take him so they can spend lots of time. I can hear him start to grumble for food, MIL tries all sorts of things but then eventually has to admit that he is hungry and passes him to me for food. That way she can't complain that I am feeding him "again". Think she is annoyed that only I can stop him crying. She was determined to take him out for a walk when I was sure he was needing food and starting to grumble. I told DH to tell her that, but she went anyway. Was back in 5 mins!

Sam was grumbling again after a feed and she was shoggling him about. I suggested he needed nappy change. She looked and it was filled with pee, but she didn't think it was too bad and was going to put it back on (cause that would make me right! DH suggested she change it anyway and guess what, he stopped grumbling!

I'm having a real moan and it is pretty awful of me. it is really not too bad. I'm just keeping quiet and letting her have him as much a possible as they won't see him that often and she really loves him to bits and will be a lovely granny. Should be thankful that she is so intersted in him. Just hard when they are in my hair all week.

Sassles - you go ahead have a right old moan! What exactly is a stomach infection?

I remember my Mum going on and on about me starving DD1 as I couldn't see how much she was taking she was obsessed about how many ozs of milk she would take, told me she was so skinny then a fortnight later she had put on nearly 2lbs I was all chuffed my Mum said I would get told off (by whom?) for having a fat baby. Talk about not winning. And don't even start me on the weaning thing.

ML - yes I remember you that's over 6 years of MN addiction for me too

sassles you are very patient, how are you managing it?

to those who have taken lo swimming, what is the age at which they can go? i thought it was after all their jabs.

virginia has decided this week that only mummy will do when upset, i am exhausted! is anyone else's baby like this?

first1 hope you are doing ok.

gotta go, she is screaming.

Just quick post before I get something to eat

homebirth re swimming, i'd been wondering the same thing and asked leader of one of the local swimming groups and he pointed me at this:

www.immunisation.nhs.uk/publications/275774_Babies-1.pdf

which contains this

How long do I have to wait before I can take my baby swimming?
Contrary to popular belief, you can take your baby swimming at any time before and after their immunisation.

I've booked my LO into a baby-swimming course that starts before his inoculations anyway. I'm not confident enough to take him to an ordinary pool.

sassles well done with your in-laws. You're doing very well if you're managing to let them try to look after him at all. I barely got that far with my MIL this week. It was nice to see them meet and she was quite taken with him and everything. I just know this is going to be my only baby so I have to fight tendency to be very possessive. I'm in no hurry for him to grow up!

ml sorry that you're feeling bad about going back to work. I will be too when my time comes. Still not sure what we'll do with him then.

Schipo- Lucy had her first swim this morning and she is 8 weeks today.

Theres no need to wait for the jabs.

Hello all

that I've not posted for so long. Whenever I have free time at the computer, I'm either one handed and can't type properly or we have a ton of stuff to organise (various things coming up).

Re swimming: Corin went swimming last week and is fine. I read up on it and it said whenever they're ready is fine.

Sassles - you sound very patient with your MIL!

My PIL have just moved 5 minutes away after living 2 hours away so we're having to adjust quickly. It's been a bit tough so far - we don't have a good relationship really anyway but had just got it settled and now the dynamic has changed so we're having to get used to that. I've had a couple of days out with MIL by myself which have been OK so hopefully it will all work out.

ML - sorry you're having a tough time

Rachel - glad your DSis is over, that must be lovely Don't worry about telling people about your good birth experience, you deserve it. I always love hearing good birth experiences tbh.

Just a quick post for Rachel - you should really get your wills sorted asap - you can either buy a will form at the post office or at a stationer like WH Smiths - they are about £25 I think. Or you can get them done at a local solicitor - if they are fairly straightforward mirror wills ie you both leave everything to each other and if you are surviving spouse it goes to children then it really won't be expensive. Also, if either you or DH are members of a trade union or organisation then they may do wills for free. Just not worth the hassle of getting everything sorted out if something god forbid happens and there is no will - I work for clients who suffer from terminal asbestos related diseases and the problems when they die without a will have to be seen to be believed. I am a big believer in getting wills made!

ML - you sound shattered, don't know how you are doing it!

Carikube - we are like you, just putting things away rather than throwing stuff out now, as feel sure we will have DC3 in a couple of years time. Mentioned to rest of family that we will hopefully have another baby and they think we are mad! Not sure how supportive they'll be if we have DC3, but I guess once he/she is here they won't have much choice!!

SK - are you sure you're not putting away the moses basket "just in case"?!

Sassles - well done with the PIL. I couldn't have mine over for a week. My MIL brings a meal when she comes to visit me, not to make things easier, but because she doesn't like my cooking - I am not Delia Smith but I'm not that bad!! I just don't like loads of salt in my food!

DD had her jabs on Friday - was very unsettled during the evening which is unusual for her so gave her 2.5 of calpol and she went off straight away. God how I love the pink liquid!

Very peed off me post here.

Molls continues to feed every 2-3 hours day and night and sometimes feeds for well over an hour. We co sleep and have no real routine to speak of. I'm ok with that and if I get a 3 hr stint of sleep at night I can manage. It won't last forever. I am not focussing on how well she's growing and developing and trying to stay fairly zen. But past 2 nights have been much worse. Maybe a growth spurt although I seem to say that most days! On Thursday night she slept until 4 from 1 after the usual fussy cluster feeding evening and did not go back to sleep properly. I gave up about 9 after a 45 minute nap. It was a long day. Indid manage a hour's sleep before tea. She was quite settled in the evening but woke about 11 and I couldn't settle her - nothing worked. She wanted to feed, fell asleep on the boob, woke up with wind. Repeated the pattern until 4 when in tears I told her I couldn't contnue and put her in her moses basket. She didn't settle and dh had been woken so got her up. Gave her to me - back to more of the same. He went back to sleep and snore. He then told me yesterday that he was cross at me for being angry with Molly. He also complained that spending half the day in bed wasn't good for his mental health. Just because it took me until 2pm to get her off the boob long enough to get showered and dressed doesn't mean he couldn't get up and do stuff. I was so exhausted that I had to go back to bed about 5 while Molls slept. He didn't have to lie down with her then either. I told him how upset I was but he said he was just telling me how he felt. Why is the only feedback negative? I'm doing my best with Molly and fighting off pnd. I never get cross and withdraw over his bipolar. Not bloody fair.

Sorry about typos.

I amnow* focussing

mornig all,
i wsan't going to post, up since 6.30 this morning, oscar just felt asleep, dh sleeping throught it all, he did open an eye to ask if i was ok
but sassles, i had to say, love granny, yes, doesn't see him so often so let her hold him, yes, but woman, can you do anything right?, i would certainly tell her nicely to leave me alone, i can't argue with my mil, sucessfully raised 5 children, but i have to admit she is normally right...
homebirth- pool has told me that they won't accept lo until he had all his jabs and can control his temperature, as they can get too cold in the water, they calculate about 5 months i should be able to take him, they also have a swimming class for nr#ewborns, min age is 5 months.
ml- sorry you have to get back to work so soon, and that you don't like it, try to be positive about it, i would kill for some alone time with adult conversation, but i'm not sure i would do much, really...
rachel- so envious of your birth experience, do tell anybody who will listen, it must be wonderful when the reaction to the story is not : oh, poor youuuu.....and get that will sorted, that goes for me as well, and i can get it done for free with a solicitor through my union, so do explore free options...
molly- sorry to hear that, bit of advise, maybe unwelcome but, could you express some milk, leave molly with someone for a couple of hours and go out with dh and have this conversation in a nice setting with a glass of wine? perhaps?,and maybe make an agreement that you will both say how you feel but in a positive way, like i think i need help, rather than you do nothing at home sort of thing.... and keep focus, you are only fighting 'cos you are both exhausted...

re feeding and flying, i think i will call the airport and ask what sort of bottles, water, formula, etc... i can pass through securtity, or if i can buy some after security, surely they have been asked everyday, i am flying from gatwick and they are fuzzy from pass experience... thank you for the ideas...

we keep sleeping at night, and yesterday had first meal in a restaurant uninterrupted, and we could both eat at the same time, even dessert, impresive, ah, ups lo waiking up

molly so sorry to hear how things are going. alle is probably right that you need to be able to talk to your DH at a time when you're not going to be distracted by DCs (easier said than done, I know!). I've been feeling unhappy about some stuff recently and am having real difficulty talking to DH about it/getting him to take me seriously and I know how frustrating it is to have unresolved issues floating around. Even more importantly, is there any way you can get someone to watch Molly for a while so that you can get a block of sleep to recharge your batteries? Things are always so much worse when you're sleep deprived...

I haven't yet taken DD2 swimming as I can't manage both of them in the pool at the same time so she has sat on the side in her car seat. I think I started taking DD1 when she was about 4 months but I know there aren't any restrictions here about what age you can take them. You do need to be careful about them getting cold at this age as they don't shiver / show they're cold straight away. We got a little wetsuit for DD1 that helped to keep her warm and that seemed to work well and we will no doubt use it again for DD2 (though quite when I'm ever going to pluck up the courage to go swimming with both of them at the same time, I have no idea!).

alle there should be info on the airport website about taking milk through security - that was where I first looked when we were going through Heathrow so they must have something similar for Gatwick. Also on the Boots website they should also have a phone number for the branch that is airside so that you can order cartons if you need to.

alle thanks for advice. As the other two are a bit bigger managed to talk this am. As you said we need to express how we feel in a positive manner. Time out with expressed milk would be good but she's feeding so much I'm too knackered to express. Also microwave too foul to use as steriliser at the moment - bit of a health hazard really. Had a better night courtesy of a iPhone white noise app so both less grumpy and have been playing Cluedo as a family (I won). Molly has oral thrush though

molly just a quick one, I am lucky if ALex goes more than 2 hours too. At night its closer to 3.

I dont know how you feel about dummys but we have perserved and he has finally taken one and it buys me an extra 20 mins or so before a feed. Today its been 1am, 5am, 7am, 930am, (had to really work to get beyond 9am), 11am, 1pm, 315pm and 5pm - very tiring.

Got to go as am meant to be writing an essay.

molly, hope everything goes well for you two, i'm sure you'll work it out, you'll figure out what works for your family, in terms of getting closer again. feel free to rant here and surely betwen all of us someone will have an idea that works, just remember: you love each other.

virginia also feeds every 2 hours now, with the exception of this time of evening when she goes from 8-12.

molly, as alle says, remember you love each other. i find that if i am feeling verbally 'attacked' iykwim by DH, if i tell him that i love him, it both reminds me and totally throws him off track, it is hard to be stroppy with someone who tells you they love you.he uses same tactic on me. never fails either way. hope it all works out for you, but we are here to help and listen if we can.

carikube, i too am finding it hard to get DH to see my point of view as being anything more than temporary due to hormones, i know he doesnt mean to be dismissive but hormones or not the feelings are there and i would love to be taken seriously. (for example, i told him i was upset that he didnt buy me flowers when i was in hospital (dont know if i am being unreasonable there particularly as he was so strong for me and very supportive). he now feels guilty as he thought about it but opted not to as there were flowers at home even though i couldnt see them, he now wants to buy me a ring as a permanent reminder of our first born together but i am not wanting one as i think it will be a reminder of his not buying flowers. i think he wants to buy it as a guilt offering, he says not but that i am being hormonal and will feel differently later. he is being very sweet about it, but i feel not taking me seriously.)

first1 hope you are doing ok.

I can honestly say as much as I love Jacob to pieces I have not really enjoyed these first few weeks with him. He just seems so grumpy and unsettled all the time

Sometimes he can go 3 hours during the day between feeds and up to 5 hours at night so in that respect he's not too bad but some days he is awake for hours and hours just crying and grizzling. Today we were out so he slept in the car there, transferred him to his pram which he usually hates but he stayed sleeping, then he woke after about 3 hours had a feed and went back to sleep until we got home maybe another 2 hours but that was him from about 3pm, he nodded off briefly in his swing whilst we were having dinner, he had his bath and a good feed before bed but didn't settle until 10pm so that was practically 7 hours awake! It's very wearing as I have to put him down I simply cannot sit and feed him until he is asleep then allow him to sleep on me. I know it does get better.

If I could get Jacob to take a dummy and be happy having a wee suck on it I SO would.

mollycuddles - sounds like you are sleep deprived and feeling a bit down. I think every couple with a new baby snap at each other, especailly in the middle of or after a tough night. If you have childcare maybe a few hours at the cinema or for a meal just the two of you might be good. I'm far too knackered to express as well.

Swimming - I don't know when Jacob will get his first taste of swimming, around here you are only allowed one adult to one child if they are under 4. DP or I can now take the older two as they are both over 4 but we cannot take DD3 or Jacob. I didn't take DD1 or 2 until they were about 6 months and even then their lips went blue after about 20 mins. Am trying to work out how to get DD1 and 2 for swimming lessons though, will have to be at the weekend as I cannot take them myself.

Tomlin - oh no there is NO way we are having another, the thought of it fills me with dread, I cannot go through another pregnancy and 5 DC would be crazy, 4 was pushing it enough. Have got rid of all my maternity clothes and a load of baby thing but wanted to keep the basket. Yes all hail to the magic pink medicine.

Hi everyone

sorry I havent had chance to catch up on the thread, just wanted to say hello and promise I will read up on how everyone is soon.

My parents are up for a week, only have a couple of days left (sob, sob) but that has kept me away from the laptop.

DD2 is now 10.5 wks old and is doing great. She's nearly 12lbs and is a real cutey as she coos and smiles for just about anyone who is willing to give her a big grin!

We have decided to put our house on the market and move closer into the town where we live. We do love our house and its many benefits but its layout and distance isnt working for our family (would be perfect in about 10yrs time). I doubt we will sell very quickly as things are very slow at the moment but its meaning I have a huge "to do" list to get it ship shape for putting up for sale. I hear the homebuyers report has been done away with down south but apparently we still have to get it done before going on the market up here. How are those with properties on the market finding it?

When do the schools down south break up for summer? We are going into our 3rd week of school holidays up here and have 4 more to go.

homnebirth, lovely trick, isn't it?, we also keep telling each other that we only fight 'cos we are not sleeping, it's difficult to be doing extra things for the other when you are soooooo nacked, so nobody does the extra things, by extra i mean like washing the cups i used in the day, drives dh crazy, but i can hardly have a cup of tea, washing? never cross my mind....

our lovely baby sleeps through the night, 9.30 till 6 today, but only naps briefly in the day, good thing is a quiet baby and he is happy to play in the bouncer chair as far as he can see me, dh is dreading when i get back to the pool and he'll stay alone with lo, not sure he'll be happy without me, he'll have to get used to

sweety, don't feel bad, motherhood is tough especially with an active baby, and people don't help by telling you should be living in a fairy tale, i get that with breast feeding, is such a lovely feeling, last time in support group i could not restrain my self and i told the lady: maybe for you, for me is chinese torture, i've been trying to teach my baby to lacht properly for 9 weeks, can't do, end up giving him a bottle, makes you wonder why i bother with the 30min prior in the breast if he is gonna have a full bottle anyway and my breast hurt so much that i cannot bare the touch of my clothing due to the open wounds that by the way, yes bleed, she look at me in sheer horror, i guess she is enjoying breast feeding.

sweetkitty - thanks, its reassuring to hear others have come through the otherside. thats great jacob went down for bedtime! enjoy havin DH home.

Rachel - wow! re Erics weight gain. Know what you mean about them growing fast. Rian is 7 weeks and nearly 12lbs. Good luck with the cot. Think Rian will be in his too before long.

ML - sorry you are poorly again. I have to admit it does sound like you are constantly on the go. Is it possible for you to take time out for a bit?

Pigley - i'm impressed you are getting time to bake!! Rian has decided he doesn't like being put down. trying to put him down to break the habit but its hard as he just screams.

cari - hmmm...i was beginning to wonder if i had mug tattooed too!! DP hungover chilling out yesterday while i ran around like an idiot!!

sassles - wow! you are very patient! ust had my gran for a week, its hard work although i love her to bits!!!

Molly - so sorry things aren't great. can i just say that it sounds like you are coping very well with all the feeding and its okay to feel grouchy/upset given the little sleep you're getting. i just dont think DP/DH understand things the same and it is frustrating.

Alle - LO sleeping all night sounds great and good for you for putting the woman straight!!! Rian is also just napping briefly during the day.

Not sure if i've said before but i'm having trouble bfing rian during the day. At night it's fine, my breasts feel full and he latches on fine however he seems very unsettled during the day and wont latch on, he then gets very distressed and i have to give him a bottle of formula as no time to express (don't seem to get very much during day anyway). Mentioned to HV (not my normal one) who just said do what works, give him a bottle you have enough to worry about right now . anyone else have similar problem?

Oops..Sorry another question. Does anyone's little one forget to breathe when breastfeeding? Rian does this every now and again and gives himself a fright and me too!!

brightred - you have come to the right place re Home Report we have just been through it, what a nightmare I think it was designed to make money for others, BEFORE you can put your house on the market i.e on Rightmove For Sale sign etc you have to have the Full Home Report which is in 3 parts, a FULL survey including valuation, an Energy Certificate and a Questionnaire completely by you. So once all this is done you agree a price with Estate Agent and they do the schedule for you with the photos etc. All of this costs £££s of course. Once this is done only then can you put the house up for sale.

email me on slrobertson002 at hotmail dot com I am intrigued as to where you are thinking of moving to.

No word on our extension plans either, council have until the 23rd and you know they don't exactly rush.

Thanks for listening to my musings. after 3 I know this stage well, think it is just frustration that I have a very grumpy, unsettled baby, I live in hope he will grow into a happy, laid back boy.

Better go I have the HV coming out later to measure DD3's head (do not ask), am very busy as well getting the last of the birthday presents etc ordered a bag for DD1 for school and got sent a Fresh Pasta Maker instead so got to sort that out too!

hi, all
gross question: how many times a day your lo s poo? and what is the consistency?runny, hardish?, especial interest 9 weeks old
i might just be freaaking out, i'll explain later,

Hi all, Alex 8 weeks today

Alle he poos once a day, sometimes misses a day. Normally strains a lot for what is a yellow runny "sun lotion" type texture poo! He is mainly breast fed with a few bottles of formula at night (3 in 24 hours)

He is being so good and so so different to my DD who just cried all the time. I dont mean to harp on about it, I am just so so relived that I have a baby who doesnt cry all day.Dont get me wrong he has his moments and has quite a lot of wind which upsets him but sometimes he lies or sit on his play stuff for 10/15 mins without crying. My DD would never have done that!!

I have been to the dentist today and had 30 mins "off" whilst my mum had him but the monkey apparently slept so I could have taken him after all. Just wasnt sure about having a filling with a crying baby beside me!