March 2010- Group Therapy on the cheap

[ValiumtheConqueror]

And cupcakes

Wand of Love, melk?? Lol!

No broodiness here, I'm afraid, and yes melk I know what you mean about not even getting the chance to talk to each other, never mind 'doing it'. However I have a slight conundrum as it's DH's birthday tomorrow - yikes, he's probably hoping for a happy birthday IYKWIM, and I still haven't sorted out contraception, apart from condoms, which we both dislike and I find really uncomfortable. BUT don't want to risk conceiving by, erm, going bareback . Hey ho, we shall just have to see what happens...

So we've tried DD2 with a bottle of formula for the past two evenings, but it seems to be a no-go. She's not into it. DD1 took the bottle without batting an eyelid, pretty much, so I'm not sure what to do next? Do I try different bottles? Different milk? Wait a little while then try again? I fear this baby likes mummy's milk too much to accept a substitute.

Another thing bothering me just now with DD1 - anyone had a similar experience? She goes down to sleep fine at about 7.30 (she's almost 4 BTW) but around this time (9/10pm) for the past few nights she's been moaning and squirming a lot off and on for about an hour. She seems to be still asleep but not happy about something. I can't figure out if she's physically uncomfortable or having a dream or what. It's probably just a phase, but if anyone can shine a light on this, then please do!

sarah afri and manda sorry to hear of your illness/sleep deprivation woes. HOpe things will improve soon for all of you.

I've not read back to my last post, sorry, but saw your query, Pixie: by the sounds of it you are pretty stuck with Paracetamol +/- Codeine, or, if you are in a lot of pain, Tramadol.
Are you already taking antibiotics or is it at the blocked duct stage? Kellymom as ever a font of wisdom.

Hope you get better soon, my heartfelt sympathies. I have about 1 blocked boob/week and have reached the concolusion that whatever I do, it takes about 24 hrs to resolve so do nothing much at all about it now (but can take Brufen).

More tomorrow, hopefully !

My parents have arrived for moral and practical support, yeah!

Hecklephone vis a vis bottles. Try a Tomme Tippee one - they're apparently v close to breast shaped and Cow and Gate works for us but I know many who also like Aptamil.

Try to get DH to do the feeds when she's fairly hungry and with you NOWHERE NEAR so you can't be heard, seen or more importantly, smelled. If you've got time over the weekend try doing it as the first feed in the morning when they're fairly ravenous. That's what cured my DD of bottle phobia.

Hope it works.

And as for DD1 (similar age to my DS1) I find they go through a period of rotten sleep - (for mine it was a falling asleep issue more than a staying asleep) when they're about to learn to do something new e.g. walking, crawling, talking better, even something as daft as improved writing. It's a bit like a brainstorm - supposedly they're creating new hard wired paths in their brain to learn to do this new skill and it messes with their sleep a little at the time. May be it's folk science but I've generally noted a correlation between rubbish sleeping and a newly acquired skill shortly after.

Still no sex here (we're British and too tired). I know Simeon's the youngest on the thread at 11 weeks today but 11 weeks seems like a while..... Poor DH. He's still a bit tender from the snippage.

Morning, all, my lovely parents are doing the school run, so here I am !

Afri, sorry I missed your post about mastitis. 'Tis rotten, I hope you feel better by the time you read this. I did feel quite sorry for your early return to work too. I found last time round when I returned after 6 months and expressed at work (loooooong 10 hour+ days) was when I had the worst problems with blocked ducts/mastitis. IME no pump drains the breast as effectively as a baby. I used to go and visit my childminder at lunchtime to get relief. Oh the joy and dignity of it all (before anybody asks, no, no patient ever walked in on me doublepumping at my desk whilst doing paperwork

Gosh, so much to catch up on since my last post. To those with mastitus, you poor things. I imagine it to be incredibly painful and I hope things improve for you soon.

Sarah, goodness, you and your family seem to have been through the mill with illnesses. Really hope you all get everything cleared up can get out and enjoy this beautiful weather.

Pacific no advice re Joe's sleeping/self-soothing but huge sympathies.

Heckle watch those birthday treats. I believe Jasmine was actually conceived on DH's b'day last year. 5th July in the bathroom of our hotel room in Bristol Can't be 100% sure, but I have a very good feeling that was the time.

Definitely no broodiness here - I far prefer the time as they get a little older. Now Jasmine is starting to really engage, smile, chuckle and be a total charm queen. God, she is just utterly gorgeous!

I am incredibly lucky as Jas is now sleeping brillantly. The last few nights she has gone to sleep between 7-7.30pm and has woken for a quick feed at around 4am then slept til 7.30am. She's still napping loads during the day too - about 45 mins between 9-10am, perhaps another one late morning and then a mammoth 3 hours in the afternoons. She really is the happiest, calmest and most smiley little girl

DD1 is settling down as well. Unsurprisingly she did go slightly crazee in amid all the madness of a new baby sister, her Daddy being in hospital and her Mummy being a grumpy old mare. She's back to just being lovely again, with her real zest for life. She's also going to bed at 7pm and staying there til 7am, so our evenings are finally becoming more adult again.

Speaking of adult, no sex here at the moment. Although, I did dream about it last night - can that count?! House move still all happening. Meant to have exchanged this week, but looks like it will be next week now. We had a lovely couple view our current house with a view to renting it a few days ago. They loved it, so fingers crossed. We haven't even put this house on the market yet, so it's really encouraging to have it confirmed that it is a good rental house.

Btw, thanks for all your lovely comments earlier in the thread, but I'm really not an inspiration or a superwoman, or anything really. I'm just me living my life the best that I can. DH is a true inspiration though and it is he who drives me and makes my life easier.

Hope everyone has a fab weekend with lots of sleep!

I'm merely reporting this, you understand, as in no way am I gloating or feeling smug (relieved is closer to what I'm feeling). Infact I'm not feeling anything about it as it may jinx it... As I said, reporting.

James slept from about 9 until 11.30 (when I went to bed after watching the first three episodes of 24 - DP and I decided to start an established tv series that is supposedly 'good' as there seems to be precious little on tv we want to watch and 'watching tv' is one of the few activities left to us right now). Us coming to bed disturbed him (and I figured it would be a good idea to feed him anyway in the hope it would mean a nice few hours comatose sleep for me) so a feed and then to sleep for him (and, uh, 'play' for us ). I finally settled down to sleep at 12.30 (I think passed out is probably more accurate). Awoke to James' little soft coughs that preceed startin to cry so poped boob in mouth, looked across at the clock and it was 5.15! He slept for over five hours for The First Time! He woke up quite a bit after that until we got up at about 8 but I'm still kinda in shock he slept so long.

Again not taking it for granted. Praying for something similar tonight.

Right, a quick shout out is in order by way of celebrating this momentous occassion.

pixie I had a dream about you recently! And when I say 'you', you weren't actually in it, but there were baby twins and they were yours. Hope your boobs are feeling better, (yours too afri), and ds is fully recovered?

PD The restorative qualities of a few hours sleep are almost miraculous when one is sleep deprived. Strangely I feel a little worse for my five hour stratch last night, but the hope it's us moving in The Right Direction is bouying me up. As our boys seemed to act pretty similarly I can't help wondering if Joe too has a tongue-tie (if only a slight one). I know now, from doing some reading, sometimes a slight one causes more issues than a pronounced one (not least because it's often overlooked). Probably not Joe's issue but... just askin'! Either way I'm so glad you have your 'rents to help out. I don't have that luxury but imagine it would be wonderful. Am I remembering this correctly - you have your Mum's car still? I guess they plan to take it back if so.

Have a fab time with Mickey et al Bluey. I took the kids to florida a couple of years ago but may well do eurodisney with James in a few years as it seems more managable to just hop on eurostar when they're small - it goes straight there! (although since they moved to st pancreas, that's a bit more of an arse to get to for me than waterloo). You flying or getting the train? (note I didn't even entertain the idea of a ferry/driving option )

melk I have to say, for the resident 'always at it' poster, I did not have any inappropriate connotations when you waved your Wand of Love. This leads me to believe you're all filthy-minded! (I love it! )

sariska Your theory that more sleep = more broodiness sounds logical to me; especially as I became more broody yesterday. And think you a loon for wanting another pregnancy/newborn? Never! Everyone knows how wonderful the anxiety of early pregnancy is, followed by the godawful sickness, then that fabulous 'I look fat not remotely pregnant' stage, onto the aches or outright pains of later pregnancy ending with desperation to Get It OUT. Why would we think you a loon for wanting it all again so soon?

snow/sunshineSarah Hope you're back on your feet now. Booo to tonsilitis and double boooo to stomach bugs.

donttry You didn't mention where you're holidaying (or I missed it) but hope it's everything you wanted! And as you were thinking you were gearing up to ovulate, maybe you will be the first preggers when some 'holiday lurve' hits at the right moment

smac No carseat advice from me but I can see I'll probably have your dilemma soon too. The monster child James is looking somewhat squashed in the cabriofix and according to my weighing is 7.2kgs now.

Speaking of which I recall someone asking about the newborn insert for it - it's pretty good (althouh James could only use it for 3 or so weeks) and they do lay quite a bit flatter with it.

Ah, also, didn't someone ask about White Tiger? THinking it may have been arcadie? (I'm wonderng how your tesco delivery turned out?) Anyway, I read that for book club last year and seem to recall I liked it a lot although feeling very vague on what actually happened in it. However, I can very heartily recommend shantaram which I finished last week (started it when James was four days old - I know it's a thick book but never in my life have it taken me more than three months to finish one!)

Right back on track with current shouts:

Heckle If you don't have contraception sorted and don't wanna risk another pregnancy maybe DH might appreciate some, um, oral loving? Contrary to what you may have heard in the playground as a child, this is not a way to Have A Baby. 'Else you're stuck with condoms for the interim, I guess. Either way - good luck! (oh my, I typo'd 'good lick' then. Freudian slip?)

Bah, His Highness awakes (and this has taken me about 40 mins in between pottering about doing bits and pieces) so love to everyone else!

Just popped back quickly to ask if anyone else has a baby who is (almost definitely) not overheated but has very cold sweaty feet. This keeps happening to James and is most odd.

Also x-posted with Rinders - so glad to hear Jas is sleeping wonderfully and an all round good egg. It's only Right and Fair that you should have some great stuff to balance the more trying issues you have had/going on.

manda LMAO at your advice and your freudian slip!! Good advice though... Not wanting to jinx your good fortune either but it's good to hear James had a good sleep last night. I think we also managed a decent 5 hour-ish stretch. Even if it doesn't happen again immediately it's good to know they can do it.

Great to hear all is well chez rinders at the moment, long may it last.

Bluey have a great time at Europdisney - I'm quite jealouse, would love to go!

pixie how's the mastitis? Any relief?

Must go and play with the baby before DD1 and DH get home again. I keep looking at her today and thinking someone's given me a BABY to look after - how MAD is that?? I'm clearly a loon.

PS - completely forgot to say thanks to all those who've offered advice on the bottle - will be trying some different strategies soon, will let you know if any of them work! Cheers m'dears!

mastitis Feck - and I grew up on a dairy farm

Afternoon all, just waiting for the in-laws to arrive for the weekend, so this post may stop abruptly! Have had a bit of a manic day trying to get the house tidy and get out to the shops; Isobel also screamed in her pram on the way home, before suddenly falling alseep mid-wah. Bless her. I think she gets a bit fed up in her pram, she likes to be able to look around. Does she have to be able to sit unaided before I can switch to the pushchair attachment?

Afri and Pixie hope you're both feeling better, mastitis is horrible. I had antibiotics for it and felt much much better quite quickly, hopefully yours will clear up soon too.

SunshineSarah glad you're recovering from your illness too, doesn't sound like fun.

MummyElk at your love wand! Also of your meeting with IWCAS.

Manda glad you're getting more sleep, fingers crossed that it continues Also, I've noticed that Isobel gets cold, clammy feet sometimes too. No idea why.

Bluey sorry you're having troubles with Alex settling, I'm sure TTSSP (the 2nd 's' is for soon ) We've been thinking about a EuroDisney trip next summer, with my parents and sister. We're slightly Disney obsessd actually, have been to Disney World four times (and three times to EuroDisney and once to Disneyland). Hope you have a great time.

Pacific glad the paeds appt is finally near, I really hope they can figure something out for you.

Rinders glad DD1 is settling a bit, I suppose she's had quite a bit of upheaval recently as you say. Hope the move goes well

Heckle good luck with the bottle feeding and, ahem, good lick with the other thing

Actually, on that subject, DH and I attempted to have sex the other week and failed miserably. I found it too painful to even start. Three months should be long enough for things to heal, right? Should I be seeing my GP in case something's not right?

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Ooh, in-laws are here...

Too many 'glad's in that post

BMI we went to Disney Tokyo on our honeymoon, which I think completes the set? Unless there is one in China?

sorry to hear about the mastitis going round.. Ihad a blocked duct the other night and Im sure DD got nothing from that boob, because I expressed with my hand into a bottle after to clear it (at 4am ) and got 4oz..

Sex.. really didnt feel like it when pg, have done it once since which equals four times in a year this week. DH may have a happy fathers day coming to him..

Sleep - sleep patterns changing all over here - she napped for 1 and 1/2 hours this morning in her cot which is the longest ever in her cot, and also slept in 3 blocks of 4 hours last night, which has left me with a lot of energy today - yey! Manda I hope your changes do mean things are improving..

Pacific I wondered if you had tried formula with Joe - hope you get the answers you need at your peads app.

Manda cold sweaty feet here too! Also feel really mean when I feel her little hands are freezing in the middle of the night - like I should put mittens on her..

Rebecca did your sleep consultant say when you would stop swaddling? DD wriggles out every time but it is effective in getting her to sleep..

Melk/ Rebecca have finally changed from 'never again' to 'ok - next year' for another one. But will have to have sex first, obviously..

ICWAS how nice you met Melk

DD is reaching for things with purpose which is quite exciting. and puttin gthem in or near her mouth..

Im in quite a bit of pain on my wrist - have Dr's app for monday - I broke my thumb on my travels 10 years ago and didnt get it set - just taped it up myself (arent I hard core???!!! ) and I think all the picking up of DD has disturbed something and Ive developed a hard lump of something which really hurts when I knock it (frequently.. durr!) so Im concerned the solution to this will be rebreaking my thumb or something and having a cast..

hope England win (like i care?) and the weather holds out and we all have a lovely weekend..

Pixie well done on shaking the mastitis - sounded miserable - and glad DS is a lot better.

siamese I had a bit of carpal tunnel when pg and my wrists have been sooo painful since DD was born.

siamese she said they often need swaddling up until 8 months. The sheet round their arms thing that I mentioned before seems really hard to get out of.

BMI and Manda - hurrah for more sleep!

sarah hoping you are back on form

rinders not much any sex here either

Not a great couple of days. Had DD weighed today having weighed her 2 weeks ago so I could check progress now I'm not supplementing. She's hardly put anything on and am in a total spin. Have a thread in the feeding section www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/986091-Helo-thought-I-39-d-cracked-it-but-now-weight which isn't getting much response. sniff. sniff.

Got some horrid, horrid news yesterday. My cousin's little 10 year old has an osteo sarcoma in his arm. They are devastated and I just can't imagine how awful it must be for them. Sofya has been having a lot of extra cuddles and looking bemused when I've been crying in to her hair about it. The little chap is a real little fighter but, bless him, he spent the day on the paediatric oncology ward and came out and said to his mum 'Mummy, all those other boys and girls have cancer - I feel really bad for them. Are they going to die.' I mean what do you say to that?

Anyhow Sofya in bed, glass of wine in hand so am going back to keep bumping my Bfing thread until someone helps!

rebecca how very , I hope he gets better and has the best people looking after him x

Im So fecking furious! Knobhead at least 20 doors down had been blowing his vuvuzela 6.30 - 7.30pm so right when I was trying to settle Charlotte - they are so fecking loud it sounded like he was in the same room. And I couldnt leave the house to beat him up and it seemed all the neighbours clearly were loving it.. it took DH to come home from the pub and threaten him politly ask him to stop before Charlotte could actually get to sleep.. Im still seething..

BMI Im using the pushchair attachment already - didnt think about it but i guess she holds her head very well, and the pushchair back is adjustable on mine. I always strap her in to keep her 'up'. Oh and if it still hurts - yes, Id go see someone about it now, although remember BF makes you dry (apparently )

my wrist/ thumb - I had evil CTS when pg which cleared up at 6weeks finally - this pain is a bit different and is accompanied by a hard lump but I will remember to mention the CTS when I see the doc, thanks

Was back at the doctors today and she had to stick her finger up my bottom . My bowels just haven't been right since surgery, first constipation then the other way. I don't know too much about bowels as I've never had trouble in that department before pacific would it be possible for CS to trigger IBS?

Morning all (it's now afternoon. I know. I started this two hours ago...
taken ages to read let alone post so will see how things go
whilst memory serves:
rebeccacad so sorry about your cousin, there are amazing treatments out there, i have everything crossed for him
pd good luck with paed app, glad you are getting some help this weekend though! no idea how you manage all those Pacificettes (this is from a woman who shouted "I JUST WANT TO POO IN PEACE FOR ONNNCCCEEE" as DD1 smashed the toothbrush cup onto the floor)
siamese ouch at the thumb - i sort of think of things like that as You Don't Know You Need It Until It's Flipping Sore (shoulders come into this category too)

pumping i don't know about looking at baby, smelling baby clothes etc.. last night my efforts were NOT working at all - even with baby on the other boob. Tell you what did do the trick....DH offered me a sip of wine, held it to my lips and everything....lo and behold...gushing boobs.... [wino]
we are out this evening seeing Bill Bailey...i'm not sure which i'm more worried about - DD2 lasting till i get home (still not convinced she'll take the bottle) or DD1 who eventually sleeps in her bed but only after a million few put downs...poor baby sitter....
right i've got to go they BOTH need a sleep as do we. back anon

BMI - yes, go and see your doc about painful sex. We can both go together this week (IYSWIM) and hold (internet) hands.

I've just tried sex again and it bloody hurts. I think the problem is around the entrance. Wonder if it could be to do with the opening to my urethra (can see a white thing there). Sorry if TMI. Painful to put salty water on that area too. Again, I wonder if the catheter from the c-section has caused a problem (3 months ago!)

I'm now pretty down about all this.

rebecca, that's terrible news and I cried too at what he said. But as Melk said there are some amazing treatments out there. Thoughts and prayers for all of you.

Sorry to hear of the various pains espec Pixie, Afri, Siamese, Smac and Shroomer. Shroomer, hang on in there. I'll stay positive for you if you'll do the same for me!

MummyElk, your Bill Bailey trip. He creases me up so much. Actually envy any trips out, can't see it happening here for a while. And I did giggle at your wine induced let down.

Right, off to try and persuade Alex to be a bit more awake rather than snooze feeding. Packing all done, nearly, so hoping for a gentle take off rather than panicked bag packing.

Evening

Sorry to hear of all the woes.

My gran has been unwell for a few weeks so haven't had time to post- sadly she died on Wednesday. Not all sad though as it was what she wanted - she said her time was done - and she gets to meet up with the love of her life who dies 61 years ago

IWCAS sorry to hear your night didn't go to plan. He must have heard you saying you were off to have fun withour him!!! I have to leave DS for a whole day on tuesday to do a KIT day at work. I know they will be fine but sure the 'routine' will go out of the window!

Rebecca really sorry to hear of your cousins son. It is amazing what they can do nowadays.

Pacific good luck for next week. There must be an answer somewhere cos it does sound a little unusual to be sooo fractious. Hopefully you will get sorted and on the road to a contented little man - and lots of sleep!!

Feel very tired tonight - and I accept I have no justification especially when I hear some of teh woes on here. Can only think it is mental exhaustion.

(Sleep pills hastily passed around before she sneaks off to have a cosy up in bed in front of the TV before waking the snotty little man for his medicine and bottle)

Night all xx

Funny day chez Smac, lots of sleeping and not much feeding (baby G that is, not me sadly). I think I'm going to have to go and pump so that I can go to sleep otherwise I'll be leaking all over the bed fresh sheets on yesterday as well!
Why, just when you think your boobs are settling down does your baby change it's mind?

sorry to hear about your Gran scooby even though it's what she wanted it's still the end. My gran was 97 when she died and had been saying for years it was her time but still very sad.
IWCAS sorry you didn't get much of a night out. You are not alone in feeling alone at weekends. My DH works shifts and when not working spends most of his time doing up properties so I rarely see him and often feel like a single parent. I too hate the weekends when there are no activities and everyone else is off doing family stuff, then if he is off on a Monday he will say 'oh what have you got on today?' and I reel off a long list - desperate for adult company and toddler activities to compensate for a dull weekend with only MN for adult company