Dec 08 Ladies - Maybe this thread they'll ALL sleep through the night at the same time!

[Beans33]

Apologies for rubbish title, couldn't think of anything - mind is totally riddled by hormones...!

Hi Lady, just googled Joanna Bruscoe and she is who I thought. She is from the same part of Devon as me and went to my school (although she is much older than me). Our mothers were friends and ended up moving to Brighton at the same time and were quite close when my mum died. I guess I should read her book. Right now I am reading Aluce in Wonderland fir a book club I have joined. Am hating it. I have no imagination and like my plots grounded firmly in reality. I don't GET fantasy. I am the same about films. I also hate mind altering drugs. I just like logic too much. That probably makes me very dull.

Am wittering now. Thanks for keeping me company in a lonely Parisian cafe (with a very nice pate). I guess I better wander back to the office and my uber unfriendly French colleagues.

ps LadyT that's really interesting about bath promoting better sleep. It certainly does with me so makes total sense.

Oh and while I am here, can I have your guys take on something? I did the NCT thing when DD was born, so around 3 years ago. We were six couples and for a while after, met up quite regularly, although one of the mums had a falling out with two of the others and then basically refused every invitation any of us put out to her to come out with the group. So eventually we stopped inviting her. I still occasionally speak to her on facebook, although haven't done so in a couple of months. I think I am the only one of the group who is still facebook friends with her. So, I was a bit horrified to log on and find a completely random status update about the bitchy and stuck up mums in her NCT group. As far as I know none of the others have had any kind of contact with her for a couple of years. She must know I would see it. So I guess its aimed at me right? I guess I should ignore it and not rise to the bait? I'm not aware of having done anything to provoke her (as I say, haven't been in touch for at least a couple of months and only at a pretty superficial level), but am genuinely a bit shocked by how strongly she seems to feel.

OK, one more and then I will make myself do some work. On the question of unattractive temptresses - I have to say the most lurid personal relationships I know of involve the most unnatractive people. There was some incredibly complicated lesbian/straight/best friends hexangle(?) involving a bunch of hairy vegans that my DH went to university with, which I still can't quite believe, especially given the state of some of them. I think one of them managed to sell a novel off the back of the tale, so maybe that kind of thing is Ms Briscoe's inspiration.

Invis: she has prob forgotten you were a fb friend and it botching about the others. Or she is preggo again and has alienated a whole new group of people.

I snorted out loud at the hairy vegan love hexagon!

You really should read the book, Invis, as I don't know anyone else who has (it got rave reviews but I think didn't sell too well) and lurid personal relationships it certainly covers, of the hetero and homo variety. It also ranges over pregnancy, obsession, London life, married life...Anyway, there's no way that NCT lady means you as it defies all logic. You are the only one who has carried on being civil. She may mean you to SEE it, but that's different. It could have been sparked by her glimpsing one of the others in the street, or anything. I wouldn't respond as you don't want to get sucked into her bitterness and ire. She must feel very hurt and brooding and resentful to feel that way - I don't think you want to invite that into your life, so pity her from a distance is my advice!

Avo, I don't like mind altering drugs either (ahem, apart from caffeine and alcohol, small amounts of which string my very bones together). It makes you interesting, not dull. Would it make me sound like a monster if I told you I was asked to leave a book club once It was run by a fella who basically liked to lecture whilst the rest of us sat nicely and listened. He got fed up of me chipping in and disagreeing vociferously with his points so after a few times I was chucked out. We only did Proust, Joyce and the like. It was the ponciest book group in Hampstead, and I don't say that lightly

Invis She sounds a bit bonkers. But is it not possible she perhaps bumped into one of the other mums and that sparked this outburst? I presume you all live fairly near each other. Otherwise, if that's not the case, she sounds horrible and to be avoided!

Hello everyone.

Now, I should really do lots of personals as I haven't posted for aaaaaaaaaages but if I did I think it would probably go a bit like this:

PosterA sorry you're feeling shit about xxx. Hope it all picks up soon.

PosterB sorry you're ...etc.

Times twenty. Also I'm scared of missing someone so best if leave everyone out. Anyway I hope everyone who is having a rubbish time is feeling a bit better soon. Hope that doesn't sound too flippant...

Although I did want to say MoM if you're reading I'm really sorry to hear your sad news. You seem very positive in your posts but it must be a difficult time for you. I hope your lovely DS is a comfort to you & that you're back in the club as soon as you're ready.

I also wanted to say congrats to jj. Fantastic news! May I be so bold as to predict a boy for you? Actually can anyone remember what we all predicted for Beans & Summer?

Oh and hello to spot - it was lovely to see you and the fambly t'other week. I think DD had a little crush on your little sweetheart of a DS as well. She was asking "Where T?" all the way back in the car, bless.

Also daisy - this is from ages ago but so pleased you enjoyed the campsite. We've been camping the last couple of weekends and the sites have been crap in comparison. I'd like to go back to the one in the Lakes but it's such a trek from here.

Anyone fancy a Friday meet-up in London sometime? Clapham's a bit far for me but would be up for central.

Also Jam, we could meet up some time if you like - I would have suggested it last weekend when you said you were at a loose end but I was away. Do you ever go to that adventure park thingy at WhatNotley? Also, been meaning to ask you - can you see hot air balloons on nice evenings from where you live? I know you only live maybe 5 miles from me and I always think of you when I see them.

And on that totally random note I'm off - I've got a rare hour or two home alone so I'm going to nip upstairs and try to finish the library book I've been reading for so long I probably owe more than its value in fines.

Hello,
What a lot of chat since I was last on.
Invis sorry you are feeling down about work, it sounds like a shitty situation, but like you say I am sure it will work out in the long run but it's crap while you have to deal with all the worry/uncertainty. I really hope something turns up soon.
Agree with effie if you've done nothing to offend her then your FB friend is possibly just bitching about the others? Maybe she has found out something they have been saying about her or something and so is letting off steam. Hehe, you made me laugh with your unattractive acquaintances and their love triangles/hexagons/polygons. DH's geeky uni mates used to be similar, though they are all settled now. Lots of them are hairy too. Even the girls.

kiwi hope you can resolve the sleep situation soon. Is the going to bed the main problem though, or the early waking and the wailing in the night? I agree that you have to do what works for you....only you know how mad crazily she will scream and for how long, how much you can take, and whether going to her is likely to help. My DS is similar in that if you go to him it often doesn't help and although he'll settle a bit when you leave him he cries all the harder. He's not one of those for a stroke on the back and back to sleep kind of thing, so I tend to ignore him unless he's sounding desperate. Sorry this isn't really any advice as such, i was just agreeing with whoever says don't beat yourself up if various advice doesn't seem to work for you, as the little buggers angels are all different. One thing that always sticks in my mind is my mum saying that she thought her friend was an idiot for doing X, Y, Z to get her DD to sleep when she thought you should just leave them for 5ish mins and they would always go to sleep, and it was easy. Then my brother came along and was a nightmare sleeper and she felt an idiot! Her stories about my brother's sleeping scare the crap out of me for no. 2, i am hoping she was exaggerating or has got it a bit wrong.
I am happy to support you in your quest for England to not make it that far in the World Cup as I am really not that interested (ducks and runs from all the footie fans)

avo sorry you are missing your family in Paris. I am sure they will all be glad to see you when you come back! Poor DD1 being ill.

trace how is P? I enjoyed your property porn, keep posting. Liked the second house more. Is is massively over budget and how long has it been on the market for?

beans re the house, do you mean they are actually asking you to do works on the house at this late stage?? Either way asking for info on issues that were brought up in the survey at the last minute is just rubbish when they could have done it ages ago. Is it info you can't get?? I am hoping our buyers don't do that, they have some issues insuring our house as a buy to let as we also had a minor case of subsidence that make it hard to insure, but the estate agents say when that is resolved they are ready to exchange, they have been v quiet about the survey which was done ages ago, which is odd. Is there any way you could speak to your buyers directly (diretory enquiries for eg). This is what the sellers of this house did when we were buying from them, they just called us up out of the blue through the phone book, and we resolved a load of issues without the solicitor faffing. Expect solicitor would not be pleased but could be worth a try. We have also spoken directly to the sellers of the house we are buying this time with success as well, through the same method.

rubes sorry you are feeling a bit rubbish. i am also feeling massive, my scar is hurting and I am getting booted around a lot. Heartburn is not so bad over the last week but baby seems to be kicking cervix instead which is somewhat uncomfy! Gaviscon works a treat for heartburn for me at the moment though so I guess I don't have it properly badly. I still moan about it though.

LadyT sorry about the book worries. I have to say literary chick lit sounds ace and I will definitely be reading when it gets published, which it will, I have no doubt. The money worries must be awful though, i have my fingers crossed that the maternity pay works out as that sounds like a massive help!

sybs boo to your work worries and horrid e-mail too. I think you and Beans should set up a catering business, what a great idea. Maybe Katie could help too, I think she is a trained chef as well, or did I dream that??

Sorry to everyone feeling a bit down in general, hope things look up soon. My parents are here so are looking after DS, while I am supposed to be resting/having a sleep, but I can't really sleep. Think i should go and be sociable!

Oh and hello to poison who has cross posted since I wrote this, discovered the sodding internet wasn't working and had to wait to post it!!

And hello right back Summer - you have totally shamed me by being so diligent with your commiserations, so can I just say I'd like to agree with everything you just said.

And me, Summer and Poison. I couldn't have put it any better. Hopefully there will be some sunshine this weekend to cheer everyone up.
It was lovely to meet LadyT and the gorgeous and elegant O yesterday. It's the first meet-up I've been to so now I really feel like I'm part of the group . I hope you didn't get too wet waiting for the train/ DP Lady, and thank you so, so much for my lovely birthday gifts, very kind of you and very spoiling.
I've nothing to add on the sleep situation Kiwi, but I do find that routine is essential in our place for easy settling.g Having said that, DD wouldn't go off at all tonight, but I did notice a new white dot in her mouth today and she keeps putting her hand in her mouth, so I think we can assume that it's going to be a bad night.
I have my GTT tomorrow morning so am fasting again and of course craving chocolate horrendously. I have avoided anything sweet today in the hope that it will ensure my results are below the diabetes level, but I guess that won't really work if I really am. Also, I have to take a urine sample in, but forgot to pick up a container from the surgery, what can I pee in to take with me that won't look a bit odd when I give it to the nurse?!
Lady, your book sounds exactly the kind of thing I would love to read, and I look forward to doing so. Oh and according to a friend the Boden sale was rubbish, so we made the right choice!

Elegant? My daughter? We have taken to calling her Bobby Sands (in very poor taste I know). I jest, but apart from those few chips at lunchtime yesterday, Katie, she has eaten barely anything since then. She is getting worse. We are counting the days to when we go to the hospital with her. Today, she has eaten two grapes, some mini cheddars, a bit of toast and peanut butter (less than one slice) and a couple of squares of chocolate. Oh, and some formula, but not much. I am glad the Boden sale was rubbish I don't feel like we missed out now. Good luck for the GTT - and how about a jam jar?!

Summer - sorry your scar is hurting, sounds horrid. Maybe I have that to look forward to. I bet you aren't massive. I have now put on about 3kg but am painfully aware that at nearly 24 wks the worst is ahead of me. Thanks so much for kind words about book (and everyone else). I wrote the best book I could and the one I wanted to, so, if it doesn't work out, I just have to take it on the chin. Yes, if I get the full Mat. Allowance it will be a lifesaver! Thank heavens I decided to keep stumping up for National Insurance.

PD, I always enjoy your very thinly veiled cynicism But you didn't tell us a single thing about you. Not even the library book you are reading. So come back and chuck us a bone, won'tcha?

On a trivial, celeb-based note, does anyone else think Charlie Brooker getting engaged to Konnie Huq is a rum mix?

Rubes, you have been quiet today. How's the heartburn? Have you been watching the live feed of BB? Right, as no one is coming out to play tomorrow I am staying here and joining DP in the evening.

Katie I'm trying to think of something you could put your wee in but can't. Does it have to be your first wee of the day? Do you have a used jam jar you can wash out?

Lady as others have said your book sounds exactly what I would want to read, & am a little offended that publishers believe womens literature should be, how can I put this, less literary standard. We are intelligent women and while we love gossip, clothes & boys, we quite like stories about these things well written. I really want it to come out. I'm joining a book club and want to use it for the group.

Had a lovely morning with DS2 at his little toddler music group. He got right into it, choosing the shaker things and dancing around. Then after unsuccessfully trying to get DS2 to nap I went back out & met a friend for a coffee and play at a little park on a lovely shopping street near us. I have to say this street is only 5 mins cycle away and it is seriously the best shopping street EVER! I think I might be spending a lot of time there.

As DS2 didn't nap I managed to get him off to bed before I was due to go to yoga. DH was charged with putting DS1 off to bed before I got home at 8.30. When I got back both boys were up going mental around the livingroom . Oh well I couldn't complain too much, at least DS2 was happy. He had a very sad earlier night, he is teething quite badly and he has trouble eating his dinner because his teeth hurt so much, but he was so hungry poor little man. He was so confused, he wanted to eat because he was starving but everytime he put the spoon in his mouth it hurt. Loads of calpol & brufen after that.

She is elegant, a proper little lady, unlike my little (or not so little) bruiser. Jam jar a possibility, or maybe I'll just get there a little early and ask for a sample pot, t'would be the sensible option I think

Hi all, just a quickie tonight as am knackered and feeling more sick again (weirdly). But just wanted to say

Poison, lovely to see you here (and in the flesh), that's so sweet about your DD, she's just gorgeous (as is DS). Would be great to see you again soon, we'd be up for a London meetup (though would have to be South-ish ideally).

Kiwi, I hope you get a decent night, and you are able to deal with the situation in a way you feel comfortable with. Could she be teething and that be adding to her grumpiness? I have to admit I'm a total wuss and never let T cry but then it's also selfish and it's all about what gives me the most sleep, and he'll settle with a dummy (or drugs if he's teething). But as others have said, some kids are just better if you leave them to it. Fingers crossed for you.

Invisible, sorry to hear about your job situation, again other have said it better than me so won't repeat their words but hang in there, something will work out.

Beans, eek about the house situation, looks like they're playing hard ball right up to the wire. Happened to us a few years ago, and we caved in because we were desperate to sell and the buyer knew it (it was just as the market went dead and we were the only sale in our estate agent in a month). But whatever you do, it sounds like you've got the right idea of trying to rise above it.

LadyT, sorry about the knockbacks, I hope your agent is able to look beyond this unhelpful pigeonholing (though literary chick lit is quite a specific genre if you ask me). There are so many fantastic books that defy an exact label it seems a very bizarre thing to say. But there will be a publisher who gets it, I'm sure of it. Have a big dollop of the self belief you are so good at giving others .

Katie, good luck with the appointment tomorrow. You could always pee in a jam jar!

Sybs how are you doing today?

Right, am off now, hasta manana. Oh, and JJ it sounds like you're only about 5 weeks behond me, my EDD is 1 Jan!

Oh, I know I had an unscientific question, I am assuming I'm having another boy because I feel like I'm having a similar pregnancy, similar cravings (damn you scotch eggs) etc. Has that been the case for those of you with more than one DC?

X posts Veggie, glad you had a nice day, hope poor DS2 has an ok night now. These goddamn teeth . And well done you for all that yoga.

I'm laughing at everyone crossposting and continually telling Katie to pee in a jam jar.

Spot, I craved lime pickle for a very short time again, wasn't fussed about ice this time. However, I would say this pregnancy feels quite different to me. I felt sicker this time, I have put on less weight, (terrible thirst, awful dry skin) and I haven't had horrendous swollen ankles (yet, but last time I had them from about 18 wks or before!)...just different, really. So you may not be having another fella. Do you have a preference?

I think Beans is going to have another girl. And a girl for SL. Not sure on others yet. I am worried about MoM, hope you are doing ok.

What's on the nice shopping street, Veg? I am avoiding shopping at the moment so let me live vicariously through your nice shops. Right, I have posted loads today. I am such an addict.

Hahaha having a laugh also about the Jam
jars. No one just said jar, we all said Jam jar.

Beans I meant to say, good that you are staying strong on the info/work they want. A real estate agent once told us that buyers will do cheeky things at the last minute because they know they often have sellers by the short & curlys. He had seem buyers suddenly demand a £10000 price reduction for no reason but said if no reduction they would pull out. So call their bluff cheeky beggers. Although having said that I think Summers idea of contacting the seller might be a good one as conveyancing people can get a bit excited.

Lady it has everything, cafe's, kitchen ware shops, cheese shops, loads of lovely clothing & shoe stores, cafe's, cheese shops, organic & specialist butchers, bakeries, deli's, bookshops, cafe's, cheese shops, stationers, toy shops, flourists, restaurants, bars. Oh and some cafe's & cheese shops.

Oh angry 2nd son gotta go

Spot I had 2 very different pregnancies, but both my offspring are the very proud owners of willys.

i love the idea of being a proud owner of a willy- as if one of your DSs might be a bit ambivalent and "meh" about it but no, they're both loud and proud .

Lady it's funny because I feel like it's wrong to have a preference and that I have to qualify what I say with "of course I'll be happy whatever" - which is naturally true. But I have just always had the feeling I'd have two boys, and I kind of like the idea of brothers. (Nothing to do with being so cheap I could just sling them in the same clothes and not worry). And most people who know me say they couldn't imagine me with a girl. Anyone here brave enough to predict otherwise?!

Shocking night here, T up twice before midnight and then from about 4-5.30am, the last waking for no reason I could fathom as it didn't seem to be teeth. Weird as he's on;y ever done this a few times before - hope he's not sickening for something. he is still asleep now but think i should wake him now as I have loads of work to do today and need to pack him off to nursery.

Katie i've changed my mind about the weeing receptacle. Have you got one of those rubbish souvenirs from holiday, a little jar filled with coloured sand with a cork in the top? That.

Morning. Spot I nearly came on at 4.30am when DS2 was screeching at me. His def was pain. As with the previous night he was in so much pain he couldn't even feed. I spent an hour trying to get him to have enough milk so I could give him neurofen. I still have no pulsitilla thingys I really need to sort some out. I have drops so might put a load in some water today and get him to drink it. I did finally get the neurofen into him and he slept until 7 when DS1 came in and gave us both a kiss. DH slept in DS1's room and let me have a sleep in while he got DS1 ready for school. Have also just had a coffee. DS2 had already had another dose of neurofen as he was knawing on his hand and dribbling like crazy. Poor little fella.

Spot I don't think there is anything wrong with having a preference. I always thought I would have two boys and while I think in theory I would love a girl I don't know if I would that great with one in practice. We're sorted for kids now anyway. Boys are great but equally I've had friends who were of families of just 2 kids and they were boy & girl and were lovely happy close siblings.

I've got a friend who had just had her 2nd child and her eldest is 2. She is having trouble because the eldest goes mental when she has to give attention to the baby. In particular when she is feeding he goes mental and trashes the room. I don't really have experience with this because DS1 was older. Do any of you with smaller age gaps have any tips I can give her, esp at feed times.

Spot did your DP have to go to SA?

Yes & both boys are very pleased & proud of their willys. DS1's love of his willy is almost overpowering. He's eased off a bit these days but there was a time when he wouldn't leave it alone. Poor thing was a bit distressed when he discovered I didn't have one. He refused to believe that i had never had one, he was sure that I had somehow lost mine.

I have to confess I would like a girl, as I am one of two - a boy and a girl, and it was great. The gap between my brother and I is the same as the gap between the two I will have too, although I am the eldest so if i do have a girl it will be the other way round. Though I don't really mind that much either way!! DH says he wants a girl, but I pointed out he doesn't understand princesses and make up and it will confuse him, and she may not be interested in steam trains. Now he is not sure he is bothered either way!!

Oh and this preganancy has been pretty similar, I was sicker in early pregnancy this time, but I think that was mostly because I was exhausted due to DS's non-sleeping antics and it made me feel sick. So maybe a boy again....

veggie yikes for your friend. Getting scared now...... someone recommended sticker books to me for during feeding....I think it might have been Beans actually on my other thread on jealous siblings, let me find the thread as there were some good tips on there, though lots of them were for before baby arrives.

katie how about a baby cup, for the weeing, tee hee, just flip the top down.....and make sure you don't feed it to the DCs.....I would just go a bit early actually and get a proper pot, and make sure I needed a wee for when I get there. Though whenever I try this I get stage fright.

this is the other thread.

Thanks lightening that idea of the little box of activities and things that just comes out at feeding times is a good one.