FEB 2010 No longer newborns!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Three months and counting, everyone! Our babies are gradually getting the hang of the world...and we are gradually getting the hang of them...

I'm quite interested by this baby whispering thing and the possibility of not needed to child proof the house (also the thought of not spending £100 quids + in equipments) but I'm a bit concerned on how to move things around as we don't have the space... To. be followed

GF from memory (have annoylingly misplaced baby whisperer book in process of planning) when they take interest in an object show it to, let them feel it once (so they know its nothing special) and then say it's mummies. Then everytime they go to it, you say no that belongs to mummy (owtte). I guess if necessary, you take it off them and place it back. If there's anything you couldn't bear to be broken, then remove. It should only take 2 or 3 goes for them to get. I believe she said that the training may be required for every object. I'm sure someone else will come along and correct me.

Nappies, we also have the bumgenius V3, which we love prehaps a bit too much. The odd turbo poo isn't contained, but I think anything could contain those. We had her in disposables for a night and they leaked all over the place. I use the two stuffers (one newborn i think) they came with (probably don't need to, its just what we've always done).

IC bummer about the IBS flare-up, hope it clears soon.

Fizzi You know, good question. As I was still in my PhD when I got pregnant I was only entitled to four months paid leave (+four unpaid). The job that i've got, is the best I could want (they're the best in my area of research) so if I can get that on CV when it comes to getting a permanent position in the UK it should really help. Ideally I would have wanted a job to start in Aug, but I already had this post delayed two months from 1st May (I never told I was pregnant) and I didn't want push my luck. Before I got preg I was looking for jobs to start summer time. The salary is equivalent to our combined income now (PhD's don't get alot) so that means that DH doesn't have to work. Of course there will be no luxuries but its worth it to have one of with her full time, especially since I'll have to do overtime when the need arises. Thinking about it we have enough savings to get us through a year as we are now, but off course we're eating alot of that up in the process of moving. Also to get the visa required for DH to work in the states is alot of work and not guaranteed. My feeling is that its a sacrifice now, but hopefully will get the benefits when she's older and I'll be able to work less and more flexibly too. Well thats probably far TMI so i'll go now

Hi again Ladies!

watercress, are you BF, I can't remember? If so, I was just reading that it's common for BF babies to slow their growth rate down at the 3/4 month mark, but medics often misinterpret it. Info here The same article also points out that baby rice, although often recommended, actually supplies bulk rather than calories, so doesn't really achieve much apart from filling the baby's tummy for a bit.

I'm necking the aloe vera juice for my IBS - tastes foul, but definitely seems to help.

CC wow, what a life change for you! I doubt you'll have much time to post here once you take up the new job, which is a shame - we'll miss you!!

mamloco wish I could have a full on siesta, but either DD wakes up before I've had a chance to settle down, or I can't actually get to sleep. I wish I had a magic sleep wand I could use on both DD and myself - boy, could I make a million if I marketed it, too!!

Right, I'm going to take myself to bed early again as part of my ongoing mission to snatch sleep as and when I can.... nighty night!

I took my ds to be weighed last week and he had dropped from the 50th to nearer the 25th centile. Dd did exactly the same so I am not worried. The Baby Clinic here is now a DIY affair where you weigh your own baby and only call a health visitor over if you have any concerns. I just got out of there fast before they started going on about formula top ups or early weaning, as I have no intention of doing either. There are a whole host of nasty allergies on dp's side of the family and the best chance my dc's have of avoiding them is for me to exclusively bf for 6 months, so that is what I shall do, come hell or high water.

Had a lovely bank holiday weekend with some big family days out. I find ds much easier when we are out and about as he just drifts off to sleep in the sling or pram. Unlike at home where he gets overtired very easily and needs lots of attention to fall asleep. Both the men in my life have been exasperating me with sleep issues. Ds because he is still waking at least every 2 hours at night (4 month sleep regression? Yes, tick that box!) and dp because he had four, yes four, naps yesterday. How many do you think I got?? The poor thing is so tired apparently. I have little sympathy due to aforementioned sleep regression, plus he is sleeping in the spare room so gets an undisturbed nights sleep. We had a huge tiff about a month ago and he slept in the spare room in protest, then when we kissed and made up we realised we preferred it that way for now. So it is just ds and I in our king sized bed and it is bliss.

I am a bit nervous tonight as I am swapping my car tomorrow. From a 7 seater mummy mobile to a zippy new little Fiesta. The main reason is that my 70 mile round trip to work costs a fortune in a massive car so I am being sensible. It just seems mad to half the size of your car 4 months after extending your family.

OOh nearly forgot to congratulate you drCC. Most impressive. I vowed after completing my post graduate course 16 years ago that I was done with studying and exam taking. I am now considering retraining as a teacher and even the one year course is deterring me.

Well ds is fast asleep on my lap. Wish me luck with the perilous transfer to the cot.....

Am back again (procastinating my way through my corrections). ps spot the deliberate word omissions in previous post

I think we're just coming through the 12 week growth spurt. Was feeding 2hourly in the day and 2x3hrs at night (was 3 an 4hrs). Then last nite she did a 5 hour stint. Great I thought, but then fed every 1-1.5hourly today. I don't think she did that even when she was a newborn. I've not found it too bad, the 6 week one at the time felt like hell, but I think thats because she always came off crying and still hungry. This time, she's just a bit cranky and cycles through her routine very quickly.

Went PILs at the weekend for Sunday lunch. Somehow MIL just took her off us (so we could eat dinner whilst warm or summit) so she then proceeded to eat one handed (why we couldn't do that). Despite the fact that we had been trying to get her to sleep, after dinner, since she was still awake they deemed her to not be tired and FIL took her round to see the fishes . At this point, I said she really should be sleeping as thats the routine. MIL returned with "Well routines are for when your at home, here she'll want to look around everything" In the end, she didn't sleep, fed her put her down to play and when it was time for her next sleep, we promptly packed up and left with words along the lines of "Well she can't sleep here so we better go home". Their loss so they only got a 2hr visit.
Only problem is we've agreed to move in with them for 10days so we can clear our house before flying day.
Now my DH is pretty relaxed normally, but when we left MIL turned round to him and told him to relax because he was tense. Luckily he managed till we were outside before saying "Well I weren't fucking tense before I arrived"

On a more postive side, we went cold turkey on the swaddle and she seems fine. Got to the point where we couldn't even wrap her arms in the first place. We brought a comforter which I had down my top for hours to get it smell of me. Gave it to her when she was in her buggy and she took a liking. So at bedtime, we went with it. Its so cute watching her cling to it. She also turns her head to it and snuzzles in. It seems to stop the hands knocking her dummy out and also gets her sleeping on her non favoured side (finally). She also finally rolled with an audience today, which for some reason makes it more real.

Oh whoever said they expressed 10oz bl oody hell am dead (thats nearly 2 days for me)

The blog is pretty empty atm, will post a link later when there's something on it.

Ho hum, another night of insomnia for me. DD was fidgety - because she was hot, probably. We're going to re-think her sleeping arrangements. Would love for her not to need swaddling, but she settles much better when she's wrapped and also can't suck at her fists (which she does extremely loudly).

Anyway, I don't feel too gloomy about it at the moment, so that's something! I've now resolved to book myself a few sessions of hypnotherapy when we're back in the UK for a few weeks soon - insomnia, anxiety and IBS all apparently respond quite well to it, so worth a try.

I tried putting DD in the bed beside me today, but she fidgeted even more than usual, so I think we'll stick with the sidecar arrangement. She's still rather rubbish at lying down breast-feeding (as am I, probably!), so back to plan A on that.

Sounds like you both kept your cool as well as could be expected, CC! So easy for other people to be casual about baby sleep patterns - they don't have to live with them!

chinook, I'm with you on the night wakings...!

Funny sleeping night here too (but not as bad as some of you) DS decided that 3am was a good time to be awake and speak! I normally give him the dummy and it does the trick but not last night so up every 10mn for 40mn and finally he kept the dummy and fell sleep. I try not to give him the dummy but he can't settle down only by sucking his fingers as he only sucks them for a few minutes and stopped wondering where the fingers are gone

We're going to the GP today as DS still has a block nose and breaths very loudly.

Watercress No baby rice here too, just pureed vegetables for starter (actually you can give them fruits too, but baby love sweet so if you start with fruits good luck to get veg into them later on!). I ended up disgarding the baby rice advice 5 years ago in the UK and followed my instincts to start on veg. (I did try baby rice but impossible to get it into my DD1 but she did wolf down carrots)

Who was trying to get rid of the dummy? did it worked? was up every hour after 1h to put it back, DH is against thumb sucking so I kept the dummy as she needs to suck to go to sleep, but it is driving me mad. She is not even waking up she just complain in her sleep, and bang the matress and the sides of the cot pretty hard. I am sure she would wake up eventually.

Anyone having to do some eyes massages to unblocked tears canal? DD keep moving her head I found it quite difficult not to put my finger in her eye (only one needs it). Any advice?
The good news is that her homemade leg massages have worked and she won't need a sthraightener for her leg going inward.

CC So sorry your PILs were like that. I can't bear people who simply ignore your express wishes about the baby. You are her primary carer and you know when she needs a nap.
For us, yesterday was a nightmare. He didn't sleep well the night before last. Took me and DH until 1.30am (seriously) to get him to sleep and then he didn't stay asleep very long. In the end I just took him into bed next to me and slept on my side and poked my boob in his mouth whenever he started creating (which was often).

He cried all day yesterday, unless he was feeding.

I made sure to get him up into the bedroom for the 6pm feed and he fell asleep on me - then I shifted him off me while he was still sleeping. I was so tired I just stayed there and went to sleep too. So he slept until gone midnight the first time then until 3 something and then until nearly five and then a little bit more dozing/feeding until we got up at 6.30.

Today he's been in a really good mood (except for one meltdown in Sainsburys when he was overdue a feed so I had to take him into the loos for a quick go) and I was just about to start gettting him ready for the 6pm feed (that's with expressed milk as I give him his iron medicine) when he fell asleep on his baby gym. Now not sure whether to wake him for the feed or not.

Crap internet connection so having real trouble catching up with all the posts from the past week. LO loved her christening and appeared to flirt with the priest

IC I really feel for you with your IBS - I have a very mild version that flares up rarely, so can empathise with you a bit. My mother also has it too. I read that early weaning can impact on this (no idea where, it may have been MN!) so that's one of the reasons I want to hang on as long as possible:

CC - so know what you mean with the PILS - mine are sort of the same, certainly DH's family say things like 'but she doesn't want to sleep, let her stay up for a bit' which is just bollocks! Excuse my swearing... they think DD is waking up and not tired, when I can see overtiredness, overstimualation and all hell breaking loose.

So yes, mamaloco and IC I agree with you about the naps. I think it's important to encourage, as gently as possible - so slings, walks in the puschair, etc to encourage daytime sleep. DD has just had a 2hr daytime nap for the first time the last three days and she has gone to sleep easier and slept longer the last three nights. I never thought she would reach the 2hr nap stage, and now she has I seem to panic and end up checking on her every five minutes!

OOhh - a christening, how exciting! DD is getting christened in three weeks. I am so looking forward to seeing all my family and introducing her to my brother, who I'm very close to, but who hasn't met her yet.

Not French, although I live here. DH is French and I am Irish.

Oh, and I live an hour north of Paris. Love France, love living here, quality of life has definitely improved, but it has become so expensive since we moved here.

Hi mamaloco - yep, I have an ongoing Dummy Removal mission. I usually gently take it shortly after DD had fallen asleep. Mostly, she stays asleep and is perfectly capable of sleeping without the dummy for several hours. I haven't totally got rid of it because it's so useful for resettling her. Don't mind it for that, just don't want her to be used to having it in her mouth while she sleeps.

Interestingly, she's started spitting the dummy out herself fairly often and doesn't always want it. Several times in the night, she'll take a feed then go straight back to sleep without needing the dummy. It's usually towards morning as she gets more fidgety that the dummy is more necessary to soothe her back into sleep.

Having said that, I still have sessions where I have to keep replacing it and I often offer it to her to prolong a nap if she's opened her eyes. I'm probably as addicted to it as she is!

Hope the doc's appointment went well, GF

just briefly at my mums and have internet access! should be filling in job applicaiton, but am so tired i thought i'd check out MN before going back to friends house and bed? DS has been waking much more frequently the last few nights? 14 weeks tomorrow, so i think prob a growth spurt? he did however sleep 19.00-05.30 last friday which filled me with hope (and despair as DD woke 3 times in that period! aaargh) fed at 1, 3, 5 and 7 last night though :-(

saw our dream house to rent today, but they've got 8 applications in so keeping EVERYTHING crossed that we get it? hopefully will find out before the end of the week?

panicked a few days ago as the reality of what we've done hit home? no home, no jobs and two kids ?. aargh? anyway, an excellent job for me has now been advertised too, so fingers crossed for that too? the cumberland news proudly declared '35 jobs advertised' last week? and not one that was for me!

we've done the sums on childcare properly now too, and think that if i can land a decent paying job (there's more chance of me getting one here than DH as he works in TV and was made redundant here before we headed to nz) then DH is going to be SAHD for a few years until DS is old enough for nursery to be cheaper?. quite a change for us as prior to emigrating we both worked full time?.

don't really feel ready to leave DS, but one of us needs to be working to get some money in!

very odd day here today, but thankfully our family in whitehaven are all ok, though some were in the lockdown at sellafield this morning? thankfully none of ours were on the school bus that crashed last week either, tho they were at school with them? we really do have SO much to be thankful for...

ok, enough of a brain dump? sorry about that! night night!

I think we hit the 4 months sleep regression. DS normally goes to bed (and sleep from 7pm. I'm still trying to settling him down now! But, fingers crossed, touch wood, as he just feed now (5th time today?) he hopefully will sleep up to 3am.

I had great plans for myself tonight once DS would sleep: pampering, colouring my hair... I think this is out of the window like it has been for the last 17 weeks (Ds is 17 weeks on Friday!)

Tell me about the expense of childcare stoof it is amazing, outrageous! This is going to cost us a little fortune and going for a childminder or nursery make no difference (only £100 less for childminder).

GP went fine, DS is in good health, his wheezing is nothing to worry about. So good news on that front.

I can't believe I'm due back to work Monday week. Don't want to!

DS hasn't cried since I've started posting so maybe he's asleep!!!!!!

I'm afraid I've had a couple of busy - dull- evenings ordering photos and doing the ironing and all of a sudden I'm way out of date on here and fear if I try to reply to all the bits I'll never catch up and get on again! However, must say Stoof that the area has had an awful run recently and I'm glad to hear you are all okay.

From me, DS2 doing well (despite another alarm incident and another health professional telling me it's just a false alarm - who knows?). DS1 is trying to get in on the act and threw up repeatedly this a.m. Luckily, DH is home for the week as DS1 timed it for just when I was feeding - not sure how I would have coped alone!

DS2 now says it's time for the dream feed so destined not to catch up with you all tonight. Hope all okay.

Hi girls

I have just had a quick skim read, sorry to hear some of you are having a tough time of it just now. I feel my tough time has come to an end now, thank goodness, I am not sure how much more I could have taken!!

DS2 is 13.5 weeks now and I really have nothing to report about him. He is gaining weight/feeding/sleeping really well. My only complaint is that he often cries in the car, but that is mainly when we have to be somewhere on time and I have mismanaged it and he is needing to feed or sleep instead of being bundled into the car. No routines here. I stressed myself silly trying to get ds1 into a routine which didn't work for us at all, so we are going with the flow this time. Saying that, our days already seem to have routine of sorts, around ds1's nursery in the morning and meal/bedtimes are regular, so I guess ds2 is having to fit into what we are already doing, rather than having to makde one for him IYSWIM.

Sleep wise, ds1 is sleeping through fairly regularly, or at most, waking once a night. I have no idea what ds2 is doing because he is in bed with me and dh. I think he is feeding once overnight and then again in the early morning, but I sleep through it. It feels like I am getting plenty sleep. He has some awake periods in the day, but is still spending a lot of the daytime sleeping in the sling. I am able to get on with stuff when he is in the sling, so suits us all fine because it keeps ds2 safe from ds1 and his poking and prodding. I can't trust him with ds2 alone which is a PITA.

Weaning seems like ages away yet. We are only just over half way there. I exclusively breastfed ds1 til 6 months and did BLW and will be doing the same for ds2. We will then do the fairly cautious weaning as ds2 is likely to be allergic, so holding off with eggs/fish/dairy etc.

The tandem nursing has calmed down a bit. DS1 is more willing to wait, but I have learned when the trigger times are, and if I have to nurse them together, then so be it. We got back from a long day on monday and both boys were knackered and needing me. I was knackered too, so for the first time, I was actually happy to feed them together. I got a sit down, and both boys were quiet in an instant!!

It is a lovely day here today. Not too hot, but around a plesant 19degrees or so forecast. That just suits me fine.

Will try not to leave it so long next time so I can join in the thread properly!

Well just when I had got used to her slow weight gain she went and put on 1oz in two weeks, hmmmmm. HV was really good and just said to watch what I'm eating and drinking. I've been so busy latley that, thinking about, I am taking in alot less than I should do (yesterday skipped a meal without realising and didn't have a drink until 3pm). DH has finished work so we're going to make a concerted effort to me fed and hydrated. Which meant going to the supermarket and buying lots of bad things . So at 1 day shy of 13 weeks she currently weighs 9lb 10oz (4.37kg). Was hoping to have smashed through the 4.5kg and move on from 0-1clothing, but obviously not to be.

A quick post to mark my place. It's my afternoon off (my sister has DD) and I have a million and one things on my list to do. I must start Doing Them!!

DrC so your move to US is temporary? How do you feel about your DH being primary carer? Will he take proper care of housework etc? In my last relationship we'd decided to try for a baby (thank goodness my periods took so long to return after coming off the pill) and I'd have had to go back to work pronto as I earned so much more than him. He'd have been a nightmare SAHD though. I'm sure he'd have been very into the baby, but there's no way he'd have been on top of cooking let alone cleaning - I'd have done all that on top of a day's work, I'm sure.

IC another baby who has to be enouraged to sleep at every nap or bedtime . DP tends to want to give up when the going gets rough and it's our dinner time and she won't go down. Last night we had a disagreement about it as I wouldn't leave her to scream, but brought her to the table and ate one-handed (lucky it wasn't spaghetti - it usually is!). He says I will have to at some point. I say I can't - it just feels too wrong.

A little funny sleeping going on here too, DD is 14.5 weeks and waking earlier in the night than she has done for a while. So now I've read about 4 month sleep regression I wonder if it's that (she was 2 weeks late so 16.5 weeks adjusted...). But if I'd never known about it I'd just think don't know what's going on, but I'm tired! Ah well. DP going without 'relations' in the meantime as I'd much rather sleep.

bearcrumble never wake a baby from its nap! My new motto after I did several times in one day for one reason or another and she was a NIGHTMARE.

stoof good luck with the job application, and the house! It will all work out, I'm sure, and it must be so nice to be near your family rather than the other side of the world .

Now must attack my List.

X-posted DrC you didn't have a drink until 3pm??? Having a DH on tap to administer naughty things sounds like fun

Fizi yep plan to be out for two years (and then find another two year placement). I know 3pm is shocking, we went out as soon as I was up and was busy all day. No excuse, just need to keep it at the forefront of our minds from now on. As for relations, we're nearly always too tired, plus we go to bed at different times. As for DH, when it comes to housework he will do what he's told, he does most of the day to day stuff already. I just come along once a week and do things properly . Its nice having this month together as we can shift things over gradually. He's currently trying to put her to sleep and if I get -fed-- up with the crying reckon he's struggling I'll pop on up. Think he is currently doing 2 sleeps a day successfully alone. As for jobs etc. I reckon that as long as he has a timetable (including play time etc.) he will be alright. He'll do anything if its on a list .

The sleep thing is acceptable, she cries before every time (about 20mins on and off) but she is starting to go down with just some rocking in the crib i.e. not being picked up (if that makes sense). We learnt she goes down quicker this way - she's just not a cuddly baby.

Also today in front of everyone at the NCT group she rolled front to back. Didn't think that would happen just over a week after the first rolling back to front.

Any else notice we made it on the active thread list the other day....I was so proud

I'm mentally getting ready for bedtime routine today, especially after yesterday nightmare.

DS naps about 4 time a day for 20mn. He winges (sp) when it's time to sleep, I give him hi dummy and 20mn later, he's awake again.

Flying are you speak English and French to your LO?

Hi All!

Good to hear what you're all up to - mawbroon and your sleeping ability!

Had a lovely day today, first visit to an Anglo playgroup, which was fun then had lunch at a friend's and swam in her pool.

Not so good was the effect on DD's naps - she had one long-ish one, but the rest were 15-minute wondernaps, which aren't really enough (she can generally hit the 45 min mark). Also, I didn't manage to get her to sleep until 20.15.... So, I've kind of resigned myself to a tough night tonight . At least last night wasn't too bad.

Solidarity to everyone else having the 4-month sleep regression or whatever the other issues are. DD is 14 weeks corrected, so I'm not sure we've actually hit the regression yet.... Doesn't bear thinking about!!

Still, maybe she'll surprise me by being unaffected and maybe she'll surprise me tonight (hoping against hope...!!)

Glad you're okay, stoof.

Right, chamomile tea, some aloe vera, a couple of games of backgammon with DH and I'm off to bed.... love to all...

Does anyone elses dc wake up from a nap when it's obvious they still want/need to be asleep? Ds seems to be trying to have one longer nap in the afternoon of at least 2 hours. He will often wake after his 45 min sleep cycle though and start crying and still have his eyes closed. He has most of his naps in his pram and I can often rock him back to sleep really quickly. Aren't they crazy little things to need so much sleep yet fight against it all the time. The silver lining is that as ds sleeps best in his pram I am getting loads of exercise and starting to look slightly less wobbly in the tummy region!

Ds is asleep on my lap again looking like a little angel except for the pungent smells he keeps giving off. He only does a poo once a week (on a Monday generally) and in the run up his 'emissions' smell worse and worse. By Sunday night it is enough to make your hair curl..... Looks like we are in for a smelly weekend if it is this bad already.

Had an 'interesting' chat with my mum today. Basically she thinks that when ds cries it is because he is hungry and that hopefully I will 'see sense' soon and thicken up his milk. Apparently when we were little they would mix rice with the milk in babies bottles when they reached 10lbs to fill them up and make them sleep longer. Clearly by exclusively bf him I am pretty much starving him. How on earth would you thicken up milk in a boob anyway??
She is coming to stay on Saturday and I do love her dearly, but please give me the strength to bite my tongue.

We are such an international bunch on this thread it makes me feel quite dull in my little town in Surrey. Going picnicing with friends tomorrow in the countryside near here and it is so warm at the moment I shall imagine I am in rural Tuscany or something

I didn't see that we'd made it onto the active threads list, wish I had!!

IC are you an hour ahead or behind, I never know, can't work out if you're going to bed at 7pm or 9pm! (A couple of games of backgammon would take me all night and result in tantrums as DP always wins.)

chinook yes DD does just that - wakes herself after one cycle and really doesn't want to go back to sleep when it's clear she's so tired. LOL at your DS's regularity!

Night all. Hope everyone's bedime went well.