June 08 - if your name's not down you're not coming in!

[EddieIzzardismyhero]

Welcome to our new cliquey thread !

oh rolf poor you, that all sounds horrific. No wonder you were crying after all that. I think you're right to try the physio route first. I really hope it helps you

essie that's tough. It's already emotionally difficult when they move up (well I found it so). I was very tearful when A moved on from the baby unit - like a little chapter in his life was over, and a sign that he's growing up, and so quickly.

A was initially tearful when he moved up a group, which worried me at the time as he'd become settled previously. It lasted a few weeks. I don't know if it's the case with Iestyn, but I find that at this age, A is very good indeed at 'trying it on', and in a very convincing way that is designed to make me think he's miserable and give in. I'm sure it is unsettling for them to move into a new group, so he's probably feeling quite put out and of course would rather stay with mummy. He knows that he will have a good time there, but would rather be with you, so there's a good chance he's just trying his hardest to achieve that. I think if you give it a few weeks he'll settle again in the new group. Must be hard though, sympathies

Thanks Allnew

Dewin sympathies for your ears, although it's comforting to know I'm not the only person to be totally irrational in the face of fear. I'm going to ask the physio about the pelvic toner machines. I think they aren't suitable for everyone, but don't really know. I'd much prefer that sort of solution to surgery.

V impressive about your great-grandmother.

I very foolishly had a go on a trampoline last week and since then have had that horrid feeling you get when you're bursting for a wee - but all the time. After the pad test the other day I was going to the loo literally every 15 minutes, until the early hours of the morning. I think I peed 10 times after drinking the litre of water. I mentioned it to the nurse yesterday but she didn't really say anything. It's very uncomfortable. I don't know if I strained something. I assume it's not an infection as I had to give them a sample yesterday which I'm sure was tested for infections.

Enough pee talk .

Good post, Allnew. I think Iestyn also does manipulate quite a lot, and there was a bit of that going on, but also probably adjustment. I should add - to everyone! - I'm a little bit panicky about being controlfreak overpossesive mother woman (but no idea where I could have got that idea...).
They're still going on the other thread. Shall I confess to you a bit of the background naughtiness there?

Rolf - ears, well, actually I'm a generally happier person. I don't know if I ever said - I've always had problems, grommets, etc etc, and I have perforated eardrums, slight deafness and a problem with earwax (and you though the wee talk was bad...) Anyhow, a couple of years ago I went private - and it has changed my life. I go once a year now to have my ears cleaned. ( but it is a necessary procedure and stops pain and deafness.) Anyhow, last year, I went, and I had as usual a great service, but also sat in the car crying for 14 minutes after, through sheer joy and relief. Thing is, when you're always threatened with 'you'll get deaf when you're older, you'll need a hearing aid' (since I was 6...), you're always worrying about when older is. Is it 18? Is it 25? Or is it 35 - next year? The consultant explained the procedure, was gentle and careful (necessary with someone like me who has seen 50 consultants on the issue!) and explained exactly why things are the way they are, and - this was the bit that got me emotional and I'm getting emotional now - that I'm unlikely to need a hearing aid or get very deaf until I'm a pensioner. The relief was huge and massively emotional.

Ooh, sorry! Got carried away!

Here, this might cheer you up.
Thomas Becket and Henry II were childhood friends. Henry became king and promoted Thomas, to have his mate on his side. He made him chancellor, which was great, and then Archbishop of Canterbury. But Thomas unexpectedly had a dramatic conversion to Christianity - he became an ascetic (monk-like, self-flagellation, wore a hair shirt literally - think of that monk in the Da Vinci Code). He refused to help Henry get church land and money.
Henry famously said out loud 'will anybody rid me of this turbulent priest' and a gang of men went to Canterbury to do just that. They found him at the altar finishing mass, and stabbed him, cut the top of his head off, scrambled his brains along the altar, and then each of them stuck a knife in the body to drive the point home.
(The monks and priests present were (a) horrified, but (b) saw a business opportunity and started collecting the blood in bowls, including one made out of a skull which was lying around - and Canterbury became a pilgrimage site and the richest church in England. Bummer for Harry.)
Henry pretended to be horrified but had little defence (he claimed he didn't mean it literally), and had to go to the Pope in Rome to beg forgiveness. A king-sanctioned murder was such a major event that the entire history of Britain changed completely.

The picture: Becket tells Henry to f* off

Rolf, I'm so sorry you had a tough time. It sounds very unpleasant. I remember going to get my bits looked at because my stitches were removed and I had to heal au naturel and it was just mortifying. I can't even bring myself to type what they've told me

Dewin, sorry about your nursery woes. I was pretty anxious when S moved up, but that was largely because I wasn't too happy with the care in the baby room. He actually loves it in his room now - in fact, I took him in today for the first time in nearly two weeks and he toddled off without a backward glance.

I keep coming across threads about how childcare for under 3's is evil which make me really anxious, but if S is happy to go in then it surely can't be doing him harm?

I'm really interested in Tudor history, which stemmed from an interest in Mary Queen of Scots developed in history classes at school. In fact, I find royal history a bit fascinating, although I'm a bit of a republican really. I think it's the way that they all treated their relatives (close and distant) so badly in the quest for the Crown or positions at Court. If the current royal family lived a few hundred years ago, Charles would have bumped Liz off years ago and undoubtedly William would be plotting against his dad .

Eddie, great news on the sleeping through! S got back into sleeping through before our hols, but is back to coming into our bed in the middle of the night again. We're going to give him a few days to settle down and maybe try and tackle it again then. I'd really like to get his dummy off him now, but I think I need to get the sleep issue sorted.

Thanks to all those who contributed to my high-brow potty thread. I'm still hoping to hear from people who tried straight to toilet, skipping the potty, just out of interest. Not that we're anywhere near ready to think about it (although over the last few days S has started indicating when he needs a nappy change, which is progress!).

Sorry about your bits DG. And thanks for the sympathy.

We've never really used pottys. None of our children were interested in them so we went straight to them using the loo. All my children potty trained very late, though, so it could just be that their huge arses couldn't fit onto a potty . T likes to sit on the loo with one of those seats that fits underneath the regular loo seat. She doesn't do anything, but likes to sit there.

DG step away from the childcare threads!

Dewin what background naughtiness?

Oh Rolf. Your poor thing, that sounds so awful and traumatising - I would have cried too. I had to look up TVT on the internet and it does say you should be offered physio first and have the TVT if it doesn't work. You can have an epidural for the surgery if that's what it comes to and it says 90% success rate. I hope physio works out for you but if it comes to the surgery try not to worry and think of the positive outcome x x x

Essie - What is the age group of the new room Iestyn is in? Luke goes up in September to the pre schoolers room which is up to 4.5 so i'll hve all this soon. Iestyn will get used to it in time - it is heart rending though isn't it? Luke has days like that now. He did not want to go this morning and wouldn't let me dress him and kept saying get out when I eventually got him in the push chair. I had to bribe him with chocolae can you believe at 8 in the morning! Luke still cries when I leave him, not every day but sometimes and it still upsets me but I know 10 minutes after I've gone his is as happy as Larry and I'm sure Iestyn is too.

rolf I couldn't do the pee test because there is no way I could hold a litre of water for an hour - whenever they tell me to have a full bladder for ultrasounds I cheat and only have half as much and much closer to the time. And I think I will stay away from star jumps and trampolines for the rest of my life...

DGT if S is happy to go in then I would think the care is completely fine. We saw a huge change in DS1 when he wasn't fine (moved rooms and had problems associated with his new room/kids) and I do think if you're looking for it, you'd spot problems! With DS1 it wasn't when he arrived either, but when we got him home and he was really withdrawn...

Rolf, your appointment sounds horrible and stressful you poor thing. I think you should definitely push for physio first.

By the way, thanks for rubbing salt in that Thomas wound! Still, I'm glad someone got their favourite childhood name.

We used those puffy white toilet insert things for toilet training and bypassed the potty altogether. Otherwise, you seem to have to potty train, and then toilet train, and I'm too lazy to do a 2 step process when I can do 1. Plus, when out and about its much easier to just balance them on the edge of the loo when they need to go, rather than lugging a potty everywhere you go.

Of course the flip side of this is that when dc needs a wee in the middle of a field they get to sample alfresco peeing and will do it at every opportunity thereafter. Boys particularly seem to love to wee in bushes.

Sorry Sybil. That was really Smuggy McSmug wasn't it . I'm really sorry.

I'm quite liking Thomas if this bump is a boy ATM. Weird though because last time I was pg I swore never to use it because it was so crazily popular when I was at school: 5 in a year of 50 boys.

Amber - pleased your scan went well. What did Mark say?

All my Internet time is being taken up on eBay right now. I am a bit addicted to second hand maternity clothes. I have also won the balance bike and an amby nest hammock for the baby. After one bad sleeper, I am prepared to try anything this time!

And Rolf - sorry that your appointment was so unpleasant. By the time I had a catheter put in with P, I was up to my nose in epidural, without it would have been grim as well as embarassing.

I am trying a VBAC hypnotherapy CD. Mostly I fall asleep in it and wake only to find it has moved onto the track you aren't supposed to listen to until after 32 weeks . Today though I was possibly hypnotised as I knew nothing about it until at the end she counts to 5 and says wake up, and bingo I was awake. A bit weird.

OMG Spider maybe you should be supervised doing that! A friend of mine has an Amby sleeper and swears by it. (Her DH is a total label snob and they don't do secondhand; everything has to be The Best, whether it works or not IYKWIM, the best in terms of labels; yet they always complain they're poor. ) I was sniffy because I had a bad sleeper and did it the martyrdom way . (My thinking was why get a brand new Amby thing and give the reason as 'because cots are too expensive' and then also buy a cot when your baby is 1?!) No, I seriously considered getting one when Iestyn was around 11 months (I know...) Also, it means you don't have to put Peter in the cot to free it up.

My other thread is still going and it's seriously catty now! I'll confess, I was having a quiet time at work, not really doing much, so I wrote the thread. There was no question of me BU - and no way am I changing my views! But I did pick and choose incidents for effect...
I'm still totally amazed at the lack of knowledge/lack of interest in getting the knowledge though.

Guess who's just bought her first Christmas presents Would have been rude not to... I popped into TK Maxx en route to Argos to pick up the ready bed to see if they had any brio stuff. They didn't, but did have various Melissa and Doug wooden toys which I quite like so picked up a tool set for S and another gift for my cousin's DS. They were bargains.

In slightly more exciting news (if you like Boden baby stuff), from Autumn the baby stuff will go up to 4 years. Am sad to admit to being very excited by this news. There's 20% off the autumn preview kicking around the promo threads just now. The boys stuff just seems a bit old for S, so I thought I was going to have to abandon my mild addiction until I discovered this!

I will definitely be staying away from the parenting threads. I try and avoid the debates on childcare as I firmly believe that what works for one family won't work for another (as sadly Adbn's experience shows) but there just seems to be an abundance of them at the moment!

Must go and be better at doing my studying tonight...

Glad you're doing the hypnotherapy Spider. I found hypnosis (I didn't do that particular brand) FABULOUS when I had T (might have mentioned that before ). And actually, when I'd finished screaming and crying, I used the breathing techniques to keep myself quiet yesterday.

Engine names are great . Both my boys are engines. If DD1 had been a boy, she'd have been Henry and then we'd have had 3 engines. Dh and I aren't engines, which is a shame.

Spider when is your due date then? That Amby thing looks sweet although I guess they wouldn't be in it for that long. Mark was half asleep when I spoke to him as he's in Tokyo and it was 5.30am their time. I'm booking another scan next week to check aagain before I take anything in as we don't know what's happening re numbers. Also tis early days still.

Dewin I love your historical tales. Do you also know a lot about the Stuarts (my fave period)?

Not due till 11 Nov, Amber. I wasn't going to buy anything until after 20 weeks at least but it was a bit of a deal, and as I say, I am in the throes of an eBay addiction right now. This is a secondhand one Dewin (so not the best of everything like your friends), and as P's cot coverts to a junior bed, there doesn't seem too much point in kicking him out of it for the new baby. There were people in my NCT group who had the Amby nests last time, and I was v tempted then, but P was already 6 weeks by then and it seemed too late to splash out. In theory the Amby nests are meant to last 12 months. I can't really see that though. Especially if I breed another big'un. Hopefully 6 months.

Rolf - I didn't know you had used hypnotherapy for T. Do tell me how it helped for you if you have a moment. Wasn't it a rather dramatic birth on the kitchen floor? Or is that someone else on the thread?

Amber do you reckon Mark got back to sleep ok after you told him that?

Just marking my spot - had a mad busy day including popping into work which I'm very glad I did as I had a very enlightening conversation with my boss .

It turns out they are not filling the other half of my job 'share' but instead are going to get some on a lower grade/salary to do my job and work 'to me'. (How they can do that when I'm only going to be there two days a week god only knows ). I have a feeling this will then lead to them saying that they don't need me cos I'm only there two days a week and by using someone who isn't a qualified teacher they can get my post filled cheaper.

I'm livid. Would I have been told any of this if I hadn't happened to pop in?

I have now officially applied to go back three days in the hope I can make myself more indispensible and keep my job.

Just not what I need.

Sorry for me me me post.

Off to watch Junior Apprentice and despair at what passes for education nowadays .

Commiserations Rolf from a fellow leaky lady (especially after a bath )I'd go for the physio

GODDESS - You should be ducking, good job that you live so far away and I was always terrible at throwing!!!!!!It's June

Exciting day here as summer seems to have arrived and the open air pool over the road is open - yippee, water was very cold though.Ethan still not 100% though.

Ooh, deb. So glad (IYKWIM) that you said that about the bath. WTF is that? I swear, the level of the bath must drop 3 inches, the amount that comes out after. is it bath water???
I don't think it happens in the swimming pool though.

Eddie that's dreadful about your job - although sadly pretty commonplace. Mentioned you in dispatches today - was talking to my mentor who I adore, and he admitted something I didn't know before - he came out of the closet as a republican. I'd been discussing mnet, and he said my views wouldn't be welcome there, and I said 'actually, there's Eddie...'.

hello. just marking my spot as have been away for a while. (boring conference).

sybil, I share your Thomas pain. always loved it, married a man with, dare I say it, an even more ridiculous surname for a Thomas than you (think alliteration). I am particularly sensitive to these type of names as my grandad and my uncle are both in the 'truly unimaginative name club' (Imagine the Mayor of London was called John.)

right off to bed, will catch up properly soon.

Bah humbug to Goddess. Still not prepared for birthdays, let alone Christmas!

Eddie that's crap about your job. Can your union give you any advice? Is the jobshare person going to share a class with you and will they be a TA rather than teacher? It all sounds dodgy doesn't it?

Spider I learned hypnosis techniques as I had lost my marbles and panicked in the last 30 mins of DD1s birth, and found that feeling of panic very frightening, so I wanted some techniques for calming myself down. (Hysteria is becoming a bit of a theme for me at the moment . I'm not actually that bad). Also, I had had a very traumatic pregnancy with DD1 and wanted to find a way of coping using my own head rather than the support of health care professionals, if that makes sense.

Anyway, we got an indep. midwife, who also taught hypnosis, to come to the house and give us private lessons. She came 3 times ante natally and once post natally. With each ante natal visit she went through a different "script" and gave us an accompanying CD each time - with her voice on. The first one was for pregnancy and had nice sections about bonding with your baby. The other 2 were geared more towards the labour. I imagine the CDs were similar to the hypnotherapy ones: floaty whale music, soothing voice, breathing in through your fingertip and out through your toes... The labour ones included a technique for counting yourself into a relaxed state quite quickly whilst in labour, and visualising a dial to help control any pain.

I listened to the current CD every day, or every other day, and it helped to relax me and helped me enjoy the pregnancy. I practised the techniques quite a bit, too. When I went into labour, I put on the CD that had just the music and I used the breathing techniques. It was a v quick labour and I didn't make it to hospital. The midwives reached the house about half an hour before T was born, and within 10 mins, when my waters broke, they realised she was breech. So it could have been a real panic and they had a blue-light ambulance on the way. But with the breathing (and also with my fabulous midwife) I was able to stay completely calm. I remember lying in my bathroom breathing in big golden calming breaths and breathing down to the baby, and she came out really easily and gently. Instead of pushing I breathed down. Most breech babies have low apgars and come out quite floppy, but she was happy and content throughout the whole thing. I didn't have any tearing and only a small graze, and was able to walk downstairs to the ambulance and sit down without wincing.

Practising is essential so that the techniques come easily and naturally. DH was supposed to practise with me and do a special "anchoring" technique but he kept laughing so was sacked . My doula was going to take over but she didn't make it until a few minutes after T was born.

As you can tell, I'm evangelical about it! Sorry for banging on, but thanks for the opportunity. It's cheered me up after a horrid few days (that could also be the glass of champagne I've had actually). It was the most glorious experience, and a magical, happy pregnancy. I put a lot of effort into keeping on top of my ishoos (homeopathy, reflexology, hypnosis, doula, chocolate) and it all got pretty expensive, but worth it.

In my defence, I didn't deliberately set out to start Christmas shopping, it was just that I found some great bargains!!!

Rolf, I'm not actually a teacher at the mo, I work in education for the local council. Have emailed my boss last night and cc my union rep - who is fab!

Your hypnotherapy experience sounds amazing - I'm really keen to use it for losing weight but haven't found time to listen to the CD yet .

Dewin, forgot to say that I'm using the Davina DVD. And I'm not really getting the whole bath water thing!

Lol at republicans not being welcome on MN (actually there's quite a few of us on here!) and you mentioning me !

Oh, and you have a few supporters on your other thread now so not all bad .