Dec 08 ladies getting re-clackered, with tantrums from toddlers we're sure to be knackered

[traceface]

Loved your title rubs
Never started a thread before so hope this works...can anybody find it?
hello....

Rubes, I'm sorry you are upset, darling. This sort of situation, across the miles, when someone is punishing you is worse than frustrating, it's a sort of torture! I really feel for you. I do think your DH has your bro's situation nailed (though he is not being very empathetic I know, but a lot of men are like this, including my own DP, and it's because they find it easier to rationalise things, not because they intend to be unsympathetic). You have always been there for your DB and because you have objected to some aspect(s) of his and his partner's behaviour, he is hurt and angry and punishing you. It isn't fair at all, and especially when you are so pregnant, but I honestly think that more emails at this stage are going to be the oxygen bombs to the flames. I know you just want everything to be ok, but you need to take a massive breath, take the long view and realise that your relationship with him will recover from all this in time, and diffuse the situation by letting him stew. Give yourself some space from it. I know it's tempting to keep picking at it and adding to it (heaven knows I can never let anything lie so I do understand) and responding, but I do think it will make things worse. You need to create a zone of serenity for yourself! (Sounds good, doesn't it - I just made that up ) Seriously though - you do. And can your MIL have DS whilst you go and have a treatment or something?

Veggie, I know what you mean about the bluntness of the Dutch. I have a Flemish friend and she is very bald in what she says. He will have a super time on the trip, though, I bet. Your swimming antics are something else!

Jam, that sounds hardcore with the pox. Oh jeepers. I hope things improve.

Spot, sorry you are feeling low. That disrupted sleep is very gruelling, especially at the moment. I just hope it's over soon. Are there any of thosen teething gels that are really effective? I think they are anaesthetising, know Rubes swears by them. As to the move, I think if you have green space nearby you will be able to manage. The house I nearly bought but which fell through didn't have a garden and even though a garden is a nice luxury I honestly think we would have been fine without. But then, I have lived in flats for years (you know what it's like in Central London) so am somewhat inured to it. I have put on between 2 and 2.5kg to date and actually it's not good that I can still disguise my pregnancy, because any undulations are merely lost amongst the general podge If I was slim, it would stand out. I have bought a Panini sticker album for the World Cup and it tells you what all the footballers weigh. Let's just say that I am heavier than a significant proportion of the England team

Right, am really busy today, MUST GO. Good to see you Urbane, hope you are managing ok with the new landscape at work.

Oh Jam I meant to say, DS1 is jealous of your impending Spotty birthday. He has a story in his 'stories for 4 year olds' book about a boy who gets CP on his 5th birthday so it has to be cancelled. However it turns out his best friends have CP too so they have a special Spotty birthday party for him. He loves the story so much he would love to have a very spotty birthday too. I told him your situation with the birthday party on Sunday and his eyes were so wide he said 'really, they are so lucky!'

Ladies you are going to kill me. I showed dh my rough draft and he said my email would be ok as it isn't attacking him but rather just pointing out how much I'm upset by his email as I feel I've done nothing but support him, but said not to send anymore which of course I won't.
I feel better that he knows for sure how much he has upset the family.
Sorry Lady your email did make sense not to reply, but for my own sanity I felt I had to. Who knows I'm sure I'll be back on here saying I should have listened to you all....

Hello everyone, just a quick message as I haven't had a chance to read through properly. DH took me to Rome for a few days (whilst MIL looked after the DCs) as a belated 40th birthday present (we were supposed to go last autumn but didn't go in the end due to breastfeeding issues). Anyway, had a lovely time and so did DD and DS.

LadyT have a super time in Sweden. I'm a little . I've only driven through Småland and, sadly, I've never had the opportunity to visit the west coast, which I've heard is lovely, but I have visited Stockholm on daytrips many times. We spent many happy summers as children at my grandparents farm on the Mälar lake (near Nykvarn and where the heavy metal bikers come from in the Larsson books - nice!).

Rubes sorry your brother is causing you so much upset.

Got to go and organize some lunch for DS before it's time to fetch DD from Pre-School. Hopefully taking DCs to Exbury Gardens this afternoon with my mother and maybe go on the little steam train they have there.

rubes - let us know how it goes. I hope all ok.

I've just been to Rhyme Time - it's pretty hellish, but DD loves it. Little angel. She's now tucking into some mini tomatoes and Annabel Karmel beef burgers, made by the nanny! I gave her a bit of juice on the way back from the library and she necked the lot. Suddenly realised she hadn't had a drink all day. Terrible mum!

I am gagging to go to Sweden. I think it sounds so amazing. Or actually Norway. Either or would be smashing. I have a friend in Norway, who is lovely - I'd love to see what it's like. Sounds amazing though.

Ah, I've found a dark hair on my chin. Must go and pluck. Does anyone else have these issues? Honestly, sometimes I think I'm a man.

Lady - re your weight - I only weighed less than DH at our wedding. Other than that, I'm usually heavier than him. He weighs 11 stone 7 most of the time. I'd finally got down to 11 stone 2 when I got pregnant again! But god it was hard work. Am now 2 stone heavier than him. JOY!

Oh Beans, I'm already wondering if it was a mistake. I'm sure he'll just ignore it. I should have gone out to avoid stewing, but dh has the car and I can't be arsed with public transport today.... [wimp] I would have visited you Beans, but doubt you'd have wanted my mood around you. You'd probably have been dying for me to leave. I don't get those weird hairs but I think I get everything else. Apart from fat, I get bad dry skin and pigment spots which come out and look awful (fortunately faded again after last pg) I'm grateful that I avoided stretch marks last time at least and so far this time, so at least most of it's not permanent (she says in hope though I'm sure my udders will be around my ankles after Breast feeding a second time!)

I am trying to do some tidying as we have had a dining table for 6 months and no chairs so the dining room has been used as a dumping ground for crap. Someone was asking awhile back - no crap is not a swear word except it's still an adult word only.

Hello Nolda, glad Rome was nice

It really feels hotter than 19 degrees here. Does anyone else think that?
I have the fan in ds's room but he is slightly scared of it. He won't get off his bed no after sleeps - just stares at it but he doesn't cry or look too frightened. It's quite strange but handy as he was napping, then woke but must have fallen asleep again

If he doesn't reply, then try to put it behind you and not dwell on it. You have your own life to be getting on with. And your own things to deal with - including concentrating on the new baby. He'll come round in time and realise he's being a twerp.

Have just eaten 2 cadburys chocolate mousses. Now feel a bit sick. Idiot.

I will Beans, and I hope he will come around. If I hear nothing should I make first contact ie: I often email photo's etc from time to time, or just flat out ignore? We were really close and I always looked forward to seeing him especially since my parents do their own thing SO much, but I just feel even more homesick when my I feel like we aren't talking much if at all.

You should have seen what I ate on my last day at work Beans - keeping in mind I really don't care for chocolate when I'm not pregnant, I took in 2 packets of M&S tea cakes, a chocolate log roll, and some mini muffins. I probably had about 3 or 4 of each kept eating even when I felt sick! Brought 3 tea cakes home and ate one at breakfast!! dh had a big -ONE- then got on the turbo trainer for an hour while I watched and had a glass of cheerfulness
Oh well.....

I think you should leave it for 2-3 weeks if you don't hear. Then send through some pics. And maybe just say - I hope you're doing ok, have been missing you adn thought you might like to see this pic of DS. Then you've touched on it without going into depth, if you know what I mean? But sure others will probably have wiser words than I!

I can't seem to stop eating today. It's vile. But quite delicious nonetheless! Hee hee!

good idea Beans. I was thinking I would just send some photo's after our trip to Spain and not even add any text to the email (as this is what I normally do) and then I'm sure he will comment on the photo's. He probably just will want it to blow over like all guys do

I want to eat again too.... Might have a mango. By the way I gave ds some mango this morning - it's ok for babies right?

It's alright, I looked it up. Mangoes are fine Thank you Google

crap that's 3 in a row again....
oh and I said crap

I think our babies can eat pretty much anything now, can't they? I just am not giving her rare meat or shellfish. Although not sure why, just a gut instinct... Any truth in that?

Have missed my window of sleep opportunity as have just started reading a Jane Green book! Girl Friday - rubbish, but fun.

Sorry am being rubbish at keeping up but wanted to give Rubes and Spot a big hug. Will post properly later.

Have just added up 21 posts by me today that's - off to get a life I think.... ds has just woken up anyway... he just napped almost 3 hours! Must rescue him from the scary fan!

Hello all ? sorry again for being away for ages, we?ve had builder madness what with the new kitchen etc. And a very busy week at work followed by concert this Sunday just gone. As a result of which I have lost my voice so sound completely stupid.

So far every single tradesman we've encountered on this kitchen (with one exception) has been in some way incompetent. Joiner measured the door incorrectly twice. Electrician put in sockets at the wrong heights. Plasterer forgot to do one window frame. Glazier forgot his toolbag. Kitchen fitter has cut the worktop too short so there's nowhere for the towel rail. Only the brickie did his job well - and was so dedicated he came back on a Saturday to finish up the doorstep. It makes me wonder, how can people claim to be professionals when they make such fundamental errors? Surely if you're doing a job and putting your name to it, you want to get it right?

Anyway, rant over.

Big hugs to sybs, dorasbackpack, kiwi, jam and rubena you poor in the wars people. Hope everyone feels back to full strength/bruise-free-ness soon.

babies and food - I give dd pretty much anything except like beans says, not raw/undercooked animal produce (except the snail but that was her own menu selection!). She seems to be fine. LadyT how is O getting on with her new regime?

JJ I read that as butler madness. Visions of ironing the paper on the wrong side. Spot I hope your day got better. Picking up DS from school now and then going to buy them both summer shoes. Pesky growing feet...

Afternoon everyone,

It has taken an AGE to catch up!

sybil Glad you are feeling better after your fall. It is the shock more than anything, my heart did a little bump when I read your post.

Dora I'm so sorry to hear about your FIL. You poor thing falling over in the airport, over and over again! I sympathise, I can fall over my own shadow.

Was it jam with the hives? I also have hives, urgh, it is hideous and itchy. The piriton doesn't seem to be shifting it. Are you any better?

Ava I can't believe anyone would be so po faced about your silly comment . As advanced as I am sure your DD2 is, the words meant nothing to her.

ladyT Hurray for your successful scan! I'm really glad all your family were pleased when you finally broke the news.

DH has a Panini album too, although he is collecting the stickers . He is an overgrown 10 year old at heart. It is hard to find sticker swappers when you are not a little boy any more though!

spot Hope your referral comes through soon. It must be hard feeling low and trying to make all these difficult decisions re the flat etc. Maybe you could view the flat again and look at the nearest green spaces?

rubes Sorry you have all this stress with DB and DH, don't let it get to you though. You need to think about yourself and DCs.

veggie Oh that was such a sweet description of DS1, he really is such a darling boy. Don't feel bad that you waved, it would have been worse for DS1 to have seen you cyclying away at top speed! Motherhood seems all about difficult choices, from the big work/stay at home ones, to the smaller, should I give DD a yogurt even though yesterday she spat most of it out. We all wish we could go back and change our decisions from time to time. DS1 will have had a really good trip. It is so touching that he loves his family so much.

Oh dear I am so itchy, I have never had hives before. I am also losing my voice, I'm a mess! In other news MIL and FIL are being very irritating about our proposed move. We would only be 40 minutes away but they are finding fault with everything, the house, the schools. The schools are really good but MIL thinks DD should go to a church school. She cited that when she visited this town once, 'the schoolgirl's skirts were very short' . I wouldn't mind if she just said, 'we're going to miss you', but they are heaping on the emotional blackmail. DH's brother is in Australia and apparently if we leave we will be abandoning them . It is 40 minutes! . FIL bumped into one of DH's friends and asked him what he thought of the move, he hardly got a word in before FIL started criticising almost every element of the house, which, of course, my parents live in. They don't like the style of the house, it is grade 2 listed, and think we'd be better in a nice modern semi. Oh dear, I have grumbled on! A highlight for me was when MIL told us that we underestimated the importance of church friends . Families eh?!

sorry it's taking everyone so long to catchup - that's all due to my dribble. I am feeling better this afternoon so will curb it! Have been sitting out in the garden with my decaf [cheerlessness]

Jolly there hasn't been any stress with DH - only with my DB. Someone said that way back and I meant to correct that - He has been quite helpful actually

sorry about the Hives. Sounds like pil's are just a bit sad about it and therefore picking it apart. I get a bit of that over here. dh's sister is off traveling the world (ie China now for 6 months) and never in the UK more than about 3 months of any given year. Yet we miss one Christmas or any special date and we're the worlds worst! Even before we had the kids (plural sounds funny)

Gosh a lot of posts to catch up and got to go pick up DD so just wanted to say Rubs I hope you are feeling ok. Oh, and veggie 21 mins for a 1500m swim is AWESOME. I doff my hat to you. I can't remember what my Tri swim time was but it was nowhere near that fast. Do you have dolphin DNA? I need to do more to reincorporate my pre-DD exercise regime into post-DD life but everytime I get going again I get ill or something

And for those non-clackered ladies wishing to lose weight I thoroughly recommend the tonsiltis diet. Not. Horrible really but I have lost 6 lbs since Saturday...

Rubes don't feel bad! For me it's a combo of doing more in the nice weather and the thread nit loading well on a phone once it's too long.

Spot: we did manage in a 1 bed for a bit but it was a struggle towards the end. Though we didn't have access to a garden and dh was also using the flat as an office. A slightly larger flat with a communal garden may well be a good plan. What is the storage like? Or you could try a different area that's a bit cheaper . Did you get hold of the gp?

Rubes: congrats on starting your ML! How many weeks to go?

Beans: it's all getting v close now - if you disappear from the thread for a few hours we will be demanding NEWS.

Jj and Summer: will be in Cambridge for a meeting and lunch on the 15th June. If either of you were around for a quick coffee in the afternoon... Though I will be t'other side of the train station.

Lorks alive but i've had a bloody afternoon of it! I'm shattered with a capital SH! DS1 had a big nap on the couch from 9.30 to just after midday, he only woke up then because he rolled off the couch (bad mummy emoticon) I did put a cushion on the floor but he rolled with such force that he rolled of it too and landed with a bang! Anyhoo I had to leave to at 1pm so quickly made him lunch gave him a brief moment to eat it then bundled him onto the bike with all the parcels I had to send then off to the PO. Got to the PO got 3 post bag things, shoved the items into them, adressed them etc the got my ticket and waited. Luckily didn't wait long (I had to pick DS1 up from a park 20 mins away in time to get to an appoinment 30mins from the park by 2.25!) only to find my card didn't work, I tried to get money from the machine outside but that didn't work, rang DH who said there is def money in the account. Left the parcels with the post lady with the promise that I would get money to her somehow by closing time (not having any idea how). Cycled like buggery over to the park grabbed DS1, threw him on the bike, flew over to the clinic which was the other end of town practically, it was Dutch sticksville, chavtown. Skullef some of DS1's school bottle water. Then into the clinic, convinced them he didn't need 2 of the jabs they were insisting he have so only the hep B. Plonked DS2 down at a play table positioned DS1 on lap and let the nurse jab away. Luckily we arrived when we did as it seems it's a clinic time they gave us so just after we arrived 15 other kids turned up, but first in best dressed. So we opened the door of the jabbing room and I escorted a screaming DS1 out to the terrified faces of 15 Dutch kids and their now not very impressed mothers. Then gave him a cuddle told how proud of him I was and threw him & DS2 back on the bike and peddled this time at a slightly slower pace (& with a tail wind which had been my head wind on the way!) back towards the PO. On the way I stopped at a bank teller and successfully withdrew some cash (WTF) cycled to the PO, which was now packed and eventually got to send my parcels!!! Then cycled home. In total I rode over 20kms today, many of those at break neck speed. Thankfully I was able to get money as I had promised DS1 he could choose his tea & a chocolate for after tea. So we dropped the bike home chucked DS2 in a pushchair and headed to the shops for fishfingers and potatoes for chips and no vegetables (that was his specific dinner request). He got his choccy, but bless him he insisted on sharing it with all of us. We had to force him to stop giving it away in the end the sweetie.

Funny asides that happened, i left DS2's helmet on at the postoffice and he walked into several hard surfaces. The post office ladies thought it was hilarious and asked if I leave the helmet on on purpose. They also had a card rack with several occasion cards in it which have animal pictures on them. One card had a picture of a chimpanzee on it so in the middle of the busy PO DS2 did his best impression of a monkey complete with 'hoo hoo haa haa's and under arm scratching. I also had a strange moment at the supermarket, a man in the que in front of me leaned down to DS2's pushchair and pointed an under rug thing in the chair & said something in Dutch I said in Dutch 'i'm sorry I don't speak Dutch' and he looked at me quite miffed & said well I wasn't talking to you I was talking to your child. I was feeling a bit over it all given my afternoon and the fact that I'd just had to restack a shelf of organic sanitary pads that DS2 had just pulled down, so I had to refrain from saying in english 'well I didn't fucking know you were speaking to my fucking son because you were fucking speaking in fucking Dutch and I've just told you I don't fucking speak Dutch!, oh and how dare you touch my sins pram and speak to him without my fucking permission! Instead I just said sorry and proceeded to explain to DS1 that no he couldn't have 3 chocolates just one.

Right I had to send that sucker as I feared losing it.

Rubs I think it's ok to send the email if only to help you reduce your stewing stress. DH knows you and the situation well enough to know what the right course of action was. I think Beans is write leave it now and send photos in a few weeks. It will let him know it's blown over and it's ok to come out and be nice.

Kiwi, it was all well and good doing that time and I was always the first out of the water for these things but I then had the soul destroying honour of being overtaken by almost the entire field on the bike. The best i ever did on the bike was 1hr 15min and rarely got under an hour on the run I think my best was 55 mins. I did once win the nurses cup trophy at the London tri and at the Edinburgh sprint tri. Clearly nurses aren't very good triathletes. I missed my awards thingy at the Edinburgh tri because they had to wait for the last nurses to roll in with well over 2hr finishing times and DH and I didn't want to stick around (I didn't realise I'd won) as we wanted to hit some Scottish pubs. Which tri's did you used to do?

Just had a quick catch up but needtp post quick and just wanted to say rubes I'm sorry your DB is being something of an arse.

I hope your feeling better, try not to stew on it. Easier said than done I know.

Oh balls! Hopefully back later DD has just launced DS off the sofa and he has banged his head....bloody kids I'm sending them back!