Dec 08 ladies getting re-clackered, with tantrums from toddlers we're sure to be knackered

[traceface]

Loved your title rubs
Never started a thread before so hope this works...can anybody find it?
hello....

Hi All

Well, having been feeling all happy about DH etc, he's just totally thrown me. Has suggested we go to Cumbria for next May Bank holiday for a long weekend and invite some friends up as well. He's got a presentation in Wakefield on the Friday, so would suit him well as could stop there on the way.

It's my last weekend in this house before we move and I'll be 8 months pregnant for our nice 6 hour drive. Plus he wants to invite some mates along, so I'd be hosting as well. I would normally happily go, and suggested that maybe we go instead in October when the newbie is a bit settled and things are easier and invite some friends along then. Predictably, he's had a strop. How can he entirely not look at my point of view and only see it from how much fun he'd have, irrelevant of how shit it might be for me and how I'll be feeling. ONe of our friends was due at the same time as me last year and she went into labour 5 weeks early after a trip to Cumbria with us!!!

Feel totally gutted that he can't see how I'm feeling about it. If he said no to something like that that I'd suggested then I'd just let it go and wouldn't worry about it. And now he's brought up the fact that I'm going to my sister's 40th 2 weeks before I'm due in Peterborough while he looks after Whizz. a) not as far, b) I'll be on my own without Izz c) I'm not hosting d) it's more vital that I go to that.

God, why am I even justifying it. Am gutted by his attitude.

AND I'm dealing with the whole bloody house rental thing and the sale of this house pretty much on my own and I don't think he has an inkling of how stressful it is, because I'm so bloody good and just get on with it. Sorry, am just furious. He's gone out with some mates tonight, but if he comes back and starts complaining or having a go about it again, he's getting it with both barrels. I'm sick and tired of his selfishness. I don't think he understands yet that children don't just change my life, they change his too!

Oh, Beans, , that's really rubbish. And really inconsiderate. Do you think he'll come to see your way of thinking after he's had his strop and reacted to his initial disappointment (in a mega childish way)?

Thanks, Jam and Poison! It still doesn't seem real, esp as the only symptoms I seem to have are sore boobs. And with the flat sale all happening it feels very alien. I don't want to sound churlish but I really don't like being PG, and all I can think about now is a glass of summat cheerful. Why can't men be pregnant, esp for the second, so you can both experience what it's like? Not unreasonable, surely?

I wish we could have a South East meet up - I've just popped my head round a due Jan 2011 antenatal thread, and I'm sure everyone's v nice but obviously I don't know anyone and I have a feeling I'll be mainly hanging around here. Like Rubes said, I don't know how some of you second-timers put up with us in 2008. You were very patient, thank you

PS Sorry I cross posted, Jam and Spot. And sorry I posted same thing twice. Can't stop crying now. Balls balls balls.

Beans I'm not sure why but for my 2nd pregnancy I was bit happy to go more than an hour from home from nearly 8 months onwards and i've had other friends have the same thing. I wasn't particularly early but even thought about having DH drive me to that BF course I was doing in Wolverhampton as I felt quite nervous being away. I would stand by your guns on this one, pregnant women wisdom is very potent. Go in October and of all things don't go on a bank holiday weekend!

Thanks Veggie! I just wish he had some kind of comprehension of how I'm feeling - or would at least try. I've told him he should go without me - I wouldn't stop him. But he wants to take Whizzer with him, which would be fine apart from his presentation in Wakefield on the Friday, so it's not possible.

God, to coin a Mumsnet thingie - Am I being Unreasonable??!!

Sorry that was supposed to be not, instead of bit! Oh poor you Beans not only is his whole strope unreasonable, its not fair that you are now at home stewing about it while he is out having fun. He really needs to grow up and realise he has a family now and needs to cut you a break. He is very lucky to have you!

Also Spot how many weeks are you? Surely you don't even have a placenta yet? I'm not saying go out and binge but surely just glass of cheers wouldn't hurt now?

I'm so tempted to speak to his sister about it. I was chatting to her today when his email suggesting it came through and she said "no way!". How does he make it so hard for me to say no to things??!

Right, I'll shut up now. Sorry. Hormone imbalance!

Oh Beans - what a bugger! and like Vaggie said - why is he out with his mates now? I'd be about that when you're upset about this. Can't he just go by himself? Do you think he wants you and expects you to host things?? I think I'd be just telling him to go and absolutely not take whizz with him.
I ummed and ahhed about going to Spain. I'll be 33 weeks then and it's 4 hours drive after we get off the ferry but the ferry is 24 hours and the hotel when I get there is quite relaxing (massage for me was part of the deal) so I have been easily arm twisted. That said, dh is quite happy to go without us, as a group of his mates are going but i'm going to go as it might will be the last break away before two little ones are with us I'm just a bit worried about being in some remote part of Spain near the Pyrenees however I think at 33 weeks it's unlikely? Help me out here Vaggie with some stats so I don't start to panic!

Spot - agreed regarding the A/N threads - I haven't been back to the latest one for me as I prefer to just hang here I completely know how you feel about the vino - however I didn't feel like it at all until about 15 weeks. That said, most people don't even know they are pg until after you found out and as vaggie said - and even my GP eluded - until the placenta takes over, don't stress, and even then, the odd spot of cheerfulness aint gonna hurt

Well dh has been very helpful today so I will retract my earlier comments. he wanted to ride the bikes along the river to the pub but I couldn't be arsed and suggested we go out tonight for a bite. Then ds looked so tired I decided I'd rather have a curry at home tonight and just go and vote, so he bathed ds and went and got Bombay Bicycle Club [yum] which i have just polished off and can already feel the indigestion coming on and I finished the whole portion and feel like I may burst

hello poison (thanks for being my FB friend)

Well I was going to come on and apologize for asking aubs election questions when she is away for her anniversary, and apologize for being forgetful.
Then I realised I have forgotten it is my wedding anniversary today!! OOPS. We are not doing anything though.
rubes I got married 4 years ago today too!
beans your DH is being a nob, I hope he comes to his senses. Fab news on the house though!

Thanks all

Rubes - if you're happy with going, then absolutely do go along - you'll have a lovely time and good on you. I just don't think I'll be up to it at 36 weeks, including childcare, hosting, travel etc.

It is fab news on the house - won't let this take the sheen off things. Well done me!

PS Off to bed now. Tired and emotional!
x

Spot, I was a THIRD timer and I loved hearing about the twinges etc. It's not as exciting when you've done it before and you need a few people going "oh wow, I'm being kicked" or whatever to remind you that being preg is really rather wonderful as you have a lovely new baby to look forward to. I actually hate being preg but love love love small babies so it's nice to feed off others' enthusiasm. Talking of small babies, I saw lovely Flora today. She's very sweet and her mother looks wonderful for someone with a 6 day old baby.

Beans, I am afraid darling that men are just wired differently and don't understand about emotions surrounding pregnancy. They also don't understand that house parties dont host themselves and need shopping, cooking etc which you need like a hole in the head at 8 months gone. It is aslo a bit overwhelming to leave your house where you've been for so long, got married, had whizz etc and I can quite see why you'd want to have a quiet weekend there. Huge sympathies. If he mentions, then gently point out that car journeys when you are weeing every 10 mins are really not fun and that you aint going til October. Job done.

Sorry you are so upset. Men can be such arses. Have a glass of wine

Beans exactly, Bloody heck, 36 weeks! I def wouldn't want to go either in that situation, hopefully he will come to his senses and notice he's being an arse. You will feel better after some sleep and a new day.
Summer! Congratulations! Happy anniv to both of us! How weird that we didn't know!

When does the placenta form? .

Night, Beans, hope your DH comes to his senses tomorrow.

Development of the maternal blood supply to the placenta is suggested to be complete by the end of the first trimester of pregnancy (approximately 12?13 weeks). That's from wikipeadia so it must be right!

oh, that's interesting - I thought the idea was you don't drink during the first trimester but can after that? That would suggest the opposite, non?

I'm not sure really I've had a bit more of a look and it seems the placenta takes over at 10 weeks and the yolk dies off somewhere in the fourth month. I would reckon a little sip up until 8 weeks would be ok, as just as someone said often people don't know by then, but I would think a little bit is best. I imagine the biggest concern would be getting a bit too much and as alcohol is dehydrating that would be a big problem. I think dehydration is a really big problem in early pregnancy.

evening.
Just popping on to say hi before going to bed. No intention of staying up for the election coverage here. I voted at 9am though
On the girls and puking thing - I'm afraid I might be the exception - I've had two girls and didn't puke in either pregnancy.
beans so sorry you've had a crappy evening. No wonder you're tired and emotional. Hope you sleep well and that you wake up to a repentant dh.
kayz are you interested in a york meet-up? We've arranged it by email for Fri 28th of May. Let us know if you want to join us and we'll add you in to the emails - same for anyone else who'd like to be a northerner for the day
right sorry to be so fleeting and to not do personals, but I must go to bed. Have spent too much of today in tears for no good reason so am hoping for a good night's sleep to sort myself out!
Night night all xxx

Hi all - am just trying to stay up and see some results as have the day off work tomorrow

Beans - yay about the house, but boo about DH, frankly trying to do anything at 8 months is a big risk given that a baby could quite happily arrive then. Hope you're feeling a bit better now - in fact hope you're asleep and all snug and comfy as can be with a bump...

Rubes and SL and Aubi happy anniversary lovelies!

Beans: I hope dh saw the error of his ways or, if not, you got busy with a permanent marker while he was asleep. Getting enough peace in your last few weeks with a toddler is hard enough without trips so far away.

I'm yawning like mad having stayed up till about 3 albeit with a snooze on the sofa. As I has to get up at 6 this was more than a bit stupid. Will have to get through today on coffee sugar and coffee. Interesting result though. If it turns out we end up with the same PM nobody has voted for I will be cross.

Morning, hope to catch up more later but just quickly wanted to add beans your DH is being a knob jockey (was watching Shameless last night! hence phrase). Yet more evidence that men really do live in another world.

trace how are you today? Hope its better for you x

So we may have a hung parliment? I've been scrapping with DD as she wanted The Disney Channel and I am trying to watch the news! Actually, I think Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck might make a good pair in government

How are you feeling today Beans? Bit cheerier I hope. Talk later.

Went to bed at 11.30 last night. Alas DH being a knoboid so retired early. He came up at 5 and is now tired. WE are supposed to be out tonight but think I might cancel as am too tired and still have work to do for tomorrow. It's just the school disco though, so we are not letting anyone down. Apart from denying them our groovy moves of couse