July 2005 babies

[AussieSim]

Welcome all those with fresh new babies. Oh the joys and tribulations. Post the lot here!

I hope I haven't overlooked a previous thread here for us. Anyway, here goes.

DS2 was due 3 July but arrived 29 June, 9lb 6oz. He has been growing nicely and is 4 weeks old today. I am breastfeeding and have already had mastitis and thrush but am pushing on with it. Biggest problem is sometimes he sleeps too long in the day and then wakes up a lot in the night, not that he stays awake for long, just long enough to feed and go back to sleep. The Midwife says that I shouldn't worry about his lack of wakefulness for the moment in the absence of any other issues, and to see how he is going around the 6 week mark. She also said I should wake him up during the day, which I have been reluctant to do, but I think I will have to do. Anyone else got an overly sleepy baby who doesn't seem to be growing out of it quickly enough?

Hi everyone. This thread has gone mad, it has taken me several attempts just to catch up, let alone post!

All is well here. Have to say that dd2 is a dream of a baby. Glad she wasnt my first as I would have had a shock with subsequent ones. She feeds well, sleeps well and barely ever complains. Have to say that after our first 2 rather wakeful, demanding, unsettled babies we deserve a break. Although she is only 2 weeks so I may be counting my blessings too early.

Ds1 has finally accepted her and cuddles a lot, in a rather scarey and overenthusiastic way. DD1 is great with her. Not sure how those with 3 close together manage. We only cope because dd1 is so good at cuddling her while I get bathed/dressed/cook their tea etc. Had a momentary panic the other day and told dh he must stay off work for ever, the thought of being left alone with them is quite scarey, so top marks to all of you have braved that one already. My unfortunate thing is grandparents all disappear off on holidays, trips etc same week dh goes back to work which is very selfish of them I reckon .

HC, good move with the coil I reckon, I wouldnt consider it until a couple of years ago when I friend convinced me what a good option it was. Now I dont think I would consider anything else, I thought it was marvellous.

I was determined that dd2 was last baby, but she is so lovely suddenly going for 4 seems like a reasonable option - it must be hormonal madness!

ha ha, our ikea trip was less impressive than it sounded - ds & his cousins went into the creche (haven't tried him in it before & he loved it, hooray), sil, dd & i sat & drank coffee & ate cake. so i wasn't dragging screaming children around looking at sofas.

gp less than helpful about a coil. i have a mystery number to ring & they may be able to fit me in tomorrow...

i have a question for all the 2nd/3rd timers: am i the only one being a grumpy cow with the older one(s)? i do try really really hard not to take out my tiredness on ds, i know it's not his fault, but i have just had enough by bedtime of the constant physical demands, & am not nearly as patient as i used to be. we mostly have a lovely time, i think i feel bad that dp sees me knackered at the end of the day. must try harder i guess.

right, i really need an early night. shout at me if you see me posting again!

are you still ok for tomorrow HC, or would you prefer to leave it for another day? I've still got another 3 weeks off work

Sorry to hear about your discomfort Harriet.

Welcome Rosiewitch!

My biggest complaint is about the appearance of my belly. I am so mortified that I have been trying to imagine that my Dr at the 6 week checkup with not say 'that is perfectly natural 6 weeks after a 2nd v large baby' and will in fact put in place a simple low effort solution for my rare condition .

DS2 is 6 weeks on 10 August, so time to think about post partum contraception. I was kind of thinking anti-hormone approach, and as I gave an IUD a shot after DS1 and didn't like it I thought I might enquire with my dr about a diaphragm. AF didn't return till DS1 was 10months old, but that is not to say the same would happen with DS2 so better safe than very very sorry and in big trouble with DH (BTW MrsD I am also broody).

I found this info on the Medical Journal of Australia:

Breastfeeding and family spacing
It is perhaps not widely recognised that a consensus statement by the World Health Organization in Bellagio, Italy, in 198822 confirmed that lactation alone can be regarded as an effective contraceptive method (2% failure rate) in the first six months postpartum provided the baby is fully breastfed, and menses have not yet commenced.

The combined oral contraceptive pill is contraindicated while breastfeeding as it can suppress lactation. Irregular cycles postpartum may make fertility awareness methods more difficult, and pelvic floor laxity may make female barrier contraception problematic. Traditionally, male condoms, the progestogen-only oral contraceptive pill, DMPA and copper intrauterine devices (IUDs) have been recommended during lactation. The use of copper IUDs is limited by their tendency to cause heavier menstrual bleeding and dysmenorrhoea.

So what do you guys think?

Harriett - "the final epidural didn't work properly and I felt the whole thing" has got to be the scariest line I've ever read on MN !

Allow me to send you a FAMILY PACK box of Jaffa Cakes.

DW's epi siting was so painful she went ballistic in pain and I fainted, but I can't imagine feeling the whole op... is that what happened ?

BP30 - think we are OK on babygros, as dd has put on weight, but thanks for the offer. I'll check with dw. Infact, Camille got weighed yesterday. From 2.83 kilos (6lbs 4oz) last week to 3.24 kilos (7lbs 2 oz) ! What a girl !

She's climbed from about the second percentile (at birth) to around the 25th !!!! Little superstar.

Thanks to those enquiring after DW. She is basically recovered. A bit knackered, and still using hot / cold compresses / cabbage, expressing OK etc. I think she's had enough though and will be finding out how to cut down / stop (expressing, the bf never took off) as she doesn't fancy a third bout of mastitis (which I can understand)... TBH, I feel this is a bit sad - for her more than the baby IYSWIM (though we're aware of the benefits of breastmilk), as I expect that with a bit more time and support, and now that Camille is bigger and stronger, she'd be able to breastfeed OK after a while. Camille is only 8 days old by EDD IYSWIM (she was born 4 weeks early), so it's been a hard few weeks for all of us. At the end of the day though, it's her body and her decision, and I'll go 100% with how dw wants to play it as she feels a bit stressed by it all, but would feel relieved if it was decided, once and for all 'that's it', IYSWIM. Camille is fine taking formula, and anyone can get a feed down her (varying degrees of muslin soddenness), so the bottle does have that advantage... what do you reckon ? 'Give it one more shot' or 'forget it sister, grab the formula and enjoy the babba !'

X

Hi,

Mind if I join you? I'm 29, DS1 was born on 29th July after a 25 hour labour ending in ventouse and forceps. But neither of us are too traumatised by that!

He's 12 days old now, asleep downstairs after his 7am feed. BFing is going ok, a bit sore at first, but I just keep slapping on the Kamillosan and am ok now. Thinking about expressing, but I reckon I'll leave it another week. Need to read up on what I'm meant to be doing with that.

I was also going to be a fab eco mummy and use reuseable nappies, but they are still sitting unused in his room, disposables have just seemed soo much easier for these first few days! Must take some time to get my head round them soon.

Gilly

Hub excellent news on the weight gain, maybe you wouldn't be able to use the clothes after all - they only go up to 10 lbs and she'll be there soon by the sounds of it .

Having done the expressing only thing with ds1 whilst he was in ICU I can understand how dee must feel. I wouldn't like to give advice as everyone is different, but I don't mind sharing the fact that I was overwhelmed by a huge sense of relief when ds1 started on bottles and we brought him home - it was one less thing to worry about with everything else going on in his little life. I hope that what ever she decides, she is happy and also dd of course .

Gilly76, welcome. I am a cloth nappy user and started ds2 at 12 days old. It really isn't too much bother other than the fact that I can't find anything that fits over them of course! ds2 was 9 lbs 5 oz at birth and is now probably over 12 lbs at 5 weeks old - all 0-3 vests are useless!

Welcome also Rosiewitch.

Hoxtonchick, the grumpiness with older children is very normal IMO. Don't worry, it does get easier, although I personally hate the bedtime routine at the moment too!

pinkmama, glad everything is going well with you - was wondering where you'd got to!

hub2dee - its a difficult decision. The only thing I would say is that there is no going back once you've made it so make sure that your dw is absolutely certain about giving up. As I've said my son has autism and he didn't seem to know how to feed at birth and he was on the small side too. I would say it took 6 weeks to get the b/feeding established. Also he seemed to suck better when he was bigger (about 8lbs). There are heaps of threads around here about specific issues which may help. I have to say I didn't get mastitis so I can't comment on that. How likely is she to get it again? Good luck whatever you do and remember any b/milk is better than none.

Back soon - ds is upset - something about the sticklebricks not being in the right order....

Hi all,

thanks for the warm welcome! Harriet, I sympathise about your backache - same here only xray doc thought I have SPD. did have a few ligament twinges during pregnancy, but got around it by trudging too and from the printer and photocopier at work for the exercise, which 'helped'.

And as for the painkillers, you're not on codeine phosphate by any chance are you? They're great...I have to shake my bladder so i can pee and take senakot for the other lol!

Episiotomy scar healed beautifully, but a bit worried as can still see threads just inside the top of the scar. Mears, if you're around, are these supposed to dissolve as well? still having the tea tree oil and salt baths.

Aussiesim - that was my method of contraception (lactational ammenorrhea) I had no periods with ds for 13 months and none with dd for 18 months) It is a risk of course as you ovulate before your first period post partum so can get cuaght out. didn't matter with me as we always planned more.

Off again, a friend is coming round it is her birthday today - she is 40 so we are having a joint celebration as its mine next week...

catch up with everyone else later.

HC - Yep, I'm grumpy with dd1 too. By 6.30 in the evening its very hard to have patience of a saint and to be honest, that's what it takes to cope with her. She's almost 3. How old is your ds? Very interested to hear that Ikea has a creche. I need a few things from there and going with dd1 is a nightmare as she wants to play in all the kitchens and make me my dinner. How old do they have to be for the creche?

As to contraception, I think I'm going to go for the coil. Neither of my two were planned and I don't want any more 'accidents'! But, having previously ruled out 3, now I see how sweet dd2 is..... I think I need something that cannot easily be removed on a hormonal whim! I tried the cap once. Found it absolutely impossible to put in when drunk though.

Hub, it took me about 6 weeks to get feeding established with dd1. She was 6lb 6ozs at birth. I absolutely hated it at first and was often it tears wanting to give up. Glad I didn't though. But - your dw's experience does sound horrible. They do say that a happy baby makes a happy mummy.... You sound like you're being really supportive which is the main thing. Hope she's happy with the decision she makes.

Hello to Gilly. Got to go now. dd2 has woken up.

Welcome Gilly76. We're hoping to start reusables within a month or so. Have been settling in with dispies and getting used to the brown stuff. Hope we can make the switch !

Thanks for the enouragement and support Bagpuss30, Eulalia, Lolasmum.

Eulalia - not sure how likely a recurrence is, TBH, and how that likelihood might be changed were various variables tweaked (quality of latch / length of feed, use of professional double breast pump / availability of bf counsellors, delaying the 'attempt' until Camille is even bigger etc. etc. etc.). DW is on two antibiotics this time round, instead of one, for 7 days instead of 5. It is conceivable current infection is remnant from last time, but as it is a different breast, I'm not sure.

Bagpuss30 - In a similar way that one reads about 'cascades of intervention' wrt labour, the time in ICU does seem to bring its own challenges... a baby in ICU may be smaller / weaker / have specific challenges breathing / feeding / regualting temp / blood sugars, and this can then muck up skin to skin time, first suckle upon birth, ease of access to boob in first few days, baby being too weak to suckle the breast for quite a while, exposure to bottle teats earlier etc. etc. etc. It certainly is hard, and if you add the parental anxiety / experience into the mix, you can guarantee a hard few weeks, however chilled and clued-up you normally are !

Lolasmum - sounds like you had to work bloody hard at bf to make it happen. Well done for hanging in there !

BTW - we seem to have quite a few August birthdays happening on this thread ! I'm on the 24th. Will be 35. That's half way to 70. Am I due a mid-life crisis ?????

Hello there again! Welcome to rosiewitch and Gilly. My first visit to the post-natal thread.

I had ds2 (Harry) on 18 July by elective c section due to low lying placenta and had had a previous emergency c section with ds1 at 36 weeks (due to placental abruption).

I have shelved all the trauma of the epidural not taking until attempt no 7! It took 3 times on my first c section! I think Hub2Dee asked previously if it hurt and I suppose it did somewhat but it hurt more trying to contort my body into different positions so they could try and get the epidural in! I initially had an infection in my c section wound which has now cleared up after taking antibis but since last week I have had more bleeding after the initial blood loss (heavier than after birth) so have been to the docs twice over this. They think that during the c section a blood vessel might have been nicked and this is why I am bleeding so I am on more antibis - it seems to be easing up now but I am quite reliant on other people at the moment as any activity like just household chores seem to make it worse. Anyone else experienced this?

On the bright side of things the bf is going well this time and I really sympathise with those with sore nipples etc. I couldn't get to grips with it first time round as ds1 was in special care for 2 weeks and the milk never really kicked in. It's important for mums to do what they feel is right for them as I have always felt that there is a lot of pressure in hospital to breastfeed - it just doesn't always work out and you need to do what is right for you. I'm not sure how long I will try and breastfeed for but the idea of b/f and the thought of baby's teeth coming through really don't go together very well!

So glad other Mums are getting short tempered with their other children. My ds1 is really trying my patience and keeps waking poor Harry up everytime I get him off to sleep. It is difficult trying to split yourself in different directions. God knows how I am going to get us all ready and out the door come September for 8.55am when ds1 starts big school!

Happy birthday to Eulaila - you've nearly caught up with me. I was 40 about 3 weeks before Harry was born. I was taken out for afternoon tea with lots of yummy cakes to a nice posh hotel as the idea of alcohol and eating late in the evening didn't quite go with the heartburn!

Belated Happy Birthday to Harriet and Happy Birthday to Hub and all other forthcoming August birthdays!

Hope to try and visit the post-natal thread a bit more frequently inbetween all this feeding on demand!

xx

I am waiting in for a vacuum cleaner to arrive hence my 3rd visit here today!

webwoman - congratulations again on Harry Sorry to hear of your complications.

It was my friends birthday today - mine isn't actually till Monday. I am celebrating it really on Sunday with my twin sister and two older sisters. Have a bottle of champagne in the fridge which I've had for months which I may have on the Monday - not sure what to do as dh will be at work and can hardly drink it all myself!

Mrs D - ds has actually been OK with the baby. It's the fighting with dd that has been the problem. Sometiems he has the social skills of a 2 year old and will just grab things out of dd's hands. I am glad that school starts on Tue as he is getting bored as well.

hc - YES on being grumpy! Yesterday was hte worst as it rained all day and I did lots of screaming at ds and dd. You are not alone

Welcome rosiewitch.

Hope I've not missed anyone. Must go and bung a few more things in the slow cooker before ds2 wakes again.

Welcome Rosiewitch and Gilly. Hi Webwoman - congratulations on Harry's arrival and sorry you've been having a difficult time with your c-section.

AussieSim - My (male) GP asked me at my 6 week check after DS2 if I would like a tummy tuck ! I have a different GP now but the need is now even greater! Thanks for the info about contraception. I must say, I would be happy relying on breastfeedling for the next 6 months rather than use horrid condoms (although the whole issue is entirely academic for the foreseeable future - I am scared about my stitches). Not sure what DH will think though.

The day from hell - DD has just gone to sleep after belllowing for about 3 hours. DS2 bit DS1 on the tummy, and yesterday DS1 was so vile to DS2 when their friends came round to play that I am having trouble being nice to him (he did something truly horrible). Oh, and the 4th child (DH) split whisky in the boys' bedroom so it smells like a speakeasy! The tiredness is really hitting me this week and I am staggering around eating toast and snapping at everyone.

Happy birthday Eulalia and Hub and any other August birthdays.

Hi all, in my haste to post earlier, I forgot to mention the Wilkinet. Just to say a really big thanks to Hoxtonchick for recomending it as I think it is superb and wish I had got one sooner .

Mrsd, I think we might be married to the same man! dh also perches his whisky glass in silly places, esp when popping up to say goodnight to the children at bedtime. Hope you manage to get rid of the smell.

I am also mummy from hell today - ds1 spilt blackcurrant juice on my kitchen floor and I yelled like a lunatic . Needless to say I didn't have a very good nights sleep last night and am very tired. Still it spurred me on to do some housework so I am feeling quite pleased about that.

ds2 is cluster feeding a lot today. Yesterday he didn't feed much and just slept until last night when he has been feeding ever since.

Happy birthday to everyone upcoming in August and also to Harriett who I missed last week .

Hi Hub - can totally understand how Dee is feeling. She has done really well but perhaps she is needing to enjoy this baby without the worry of expressing and mastitis. What I would say though is wait till the mastitis has resolved before stopping - keeping the milk flowing is one way of getting maststis to resolve. Once antibiotics are finished and the breast feels better Dee could express for shorter times and gradually space expressings out. The less stimulation to the breast, the less milk is produced. Better than going cold turkey and suffering engorgement and masititis again.
Dee has given her a brilliant start and needs to make a decision that will make her a happy and relaxed mum

A hug to you, mears.

So, you just did your two nights... and how's your, ahem, 'homework' ????

hooray, i'm not the only grumpy mummy! did a lot better today as i got a couple more hours sleep last night. friends round this morning then a trip to the local paddling pool this afternoon.

can't remember who asked, but my ds is 3.5. oh, it was lolasmum - the ikea creche will take them once they're potty trained i think. it's meant to be only 45 mins, but they were quiet & we got 1.5 hours.

i feel slightly bad for dd though, as she isn't really getting the chance to sleep as much as she wants. as soon as she drops off in my arms, i have to put her down to tend to ds, or we set off somewhere in the car etc etc. sure it won't do her any harm at all, but you know..... dp thinks we shold consider ds going to nursery for an extra day, but i'm really not sure. it would be easier for me, sure, but wouldn't his nose feel a little out of joint (though he does love nursery). any thoughts?

bedtime i think .

'homework' still not done Hub. I have till Monday. Have to get presentation for Friday out of the way first

hoxtonchick - sleeping on the move will not do dd any harm - I remember the stage well. And boy was I grumpy

HI,

I'm on a fact finding mission, as I really need some advice. First, is it too early to be thinking about getting ds into a routine?

I'm asking because our evenings are taken up trying to get him off to sleep! He's great during the day, never has a problem with being put in his moses basket at all, but after about 4pm he starts cluster feeding, every 2 hours, although he'd have it moe if he could. Sometimes I relent and do every 1.5 hours because he's bllowing so much and nothing seems to concole him.

Then he WILL NOT go down in his basket, no matter what we do, how long we comfort him for. We get him calmed down and the minute he gets laid down, he starts again. It's not colic, because its not that type of crying, he doesn't seem to be in pain and he's on Infacol anyway.

I just hate seeing him so distressed and we have to spend our entire evening from 7ish till 11ish trying to calm him down, which means we get no time together alone.

ANy ideas, tips, etc would really be appreciated!!!

Gilly

Forgot to say, ds is 2 weeks old tomorrow!

Morning all,

Gilly76, a friend of mine is also trying to get her 3 week old to sleep and her health visitor suggested cranial osteopathy could help. There's loads of info on the 'net you could have a look at. I'm not sure if my friend has had her appointment yet, but I will find out how she got on if you like.

HC - which Ikea did you go to? I wonder if they all have creches.... I've decided to put my dd1 in nursery for an extra day. She is now going Tuesday - Thursday. I was planning on her being there for 2 days only whilst I'm on maternity leave. At the momement, I'm forever saying 'Poor Bessie' as I'm having to ignore her crying or move her when she's sleeping. From talking to friends this seems to be pretty standard for 2nd (or 3rd...) babies. They get a poor deal on the attention front. But, it appears from friends children that they grow up less demanding.

Gilly, I think you're describing fairly standard newborn behaviour. I remember the evenings really getting me down with dd1. I spoke to the health visitor about it and she told me that the constant feeding is helping to prepare them to sleep through the night. Once I was told that I didn't mind the evening feeds so much! What is yours like at night time?

Thanks for the response,

Lolasmum, he's great at night, once he's asleep, thats it till 4-5am, so I feel a bit of a fraud complaining about a few hours of grumpiness in the evening! LAst night I got him to sleep in my arms at 9.30 and heard not a peep out of him till 4am!

I'm a bit of a Monica, I worry about things before they happen, and I guess I'm paranoid about him never ever being able to settle himself in his cot. Bless him, he's only 2 weks old, I should give the little guy a break really, shouldn't I?

Gilly