April 2010 - our little bundles are here!

[lineky]

Thought I'd start a Post-Natal thread as there are so many of us now sorry about the uninspired name.
Well I am slowly realising the sleepless nights thing is no myth - VERY tired!

When I went to read DS1 a story at bedtime I noticed his eyes were puffy & then noticed a rash up his neck. He said he was itchy so I stripped him off and his groin, armpits and neck are covered in itchy bumps like nettle stings! It looks an allergic reaction to something so gave him piriton (which luckily we had in the house from when he had chickenpox). Just hoping it will go. He went to sleep ok and have been checking on him all evening. Getting up in 4 hrs to travel to Disney so praying he will be ok when he wakes up. The only thing I can think that may have caused it is that he ate a chocolate out of a box of roses and spat it out coz it was yucky. I think it may have been one with nuts in, but he has eaten nuts before with no reaction.

And I was only saying earlier how we'd had no medical emergencies ever!

hope everything is ok for your trip zeeky and you have a great time.
you too bettymum

harverina i think strawberries can be quite a common allergy. that must have been so scary for you i hope everything is ok.

we're all full of colds today, except dh who always escapes them as he works outside all year round.

i too get chewed anywhere she can find i was even kissing her yesterday and she tried putting my nose in her mouth

Everyone is falling apart here!

zeeky hope your DS was better this morning. We have piriton now too. Hospital said to give to Eilidh if we ever suspect an allergic reaction, so hopefully it helped your DS last night. You are probably at Disney as I write this! Have a great time.

sleepywombat, no constipation here, in fact Eilidh has been doing more poos than usual and they have had bits of food in them! The colour has changed though (TMI!) they are dark green and very thick...sorry! Are you using baby rice at all? That can cause constipation - someone also told me that banana caused their DC bad constipation too.

Eilidh was pretty unsettled last night and didn't go to sleep till after 11pm. She then woke just after 12am (just as I had gone to sleep !). She fed for about ten minutes with her eyes closed and then went back to bed till 5.40am. So she managed to get a good stretch of sleep. She was so snuffly all night though. Its such a shame when they aren't well isn't it...I have noticed that I get quite irrational. When we were up at midnight I started to worry that she wouldn't be able to breath through all the snot in her nose!

This morning she had her usual milk feed then a bowl of porridge. Now she is napping so I have to go and find somthing inventive to feed her for lunch!

Hope you are all well and not too tired today. Eilidh went back to bed this morning till 9.15am after going back to bed at 7am so I managed to catch up on some sleep .

Crumbs! What an exciting time you are all having! Hope all is settled for everyone soon.

Billie was poorley for a few days last week, then DD1, then we had a disasterous visit to inlaws, so well pissed off, but my back is almost better now - thank you all for your kind thoughts.

Started Billie on baby rice yesterday, and she loves it. I am not 'into' BLW and will only be introducing a new food every 3 days to enable clear identification of allergies. I cook all food from scratch, and only organic until 1 year - no choc though... Worked for DD1 so feel no desire to change.

Still BF, but will be back to work full time in 4 weeks, so starting to express again in anticipation. Billie is nearly 6 months, so proud of myself as it is not easy. Will feed until 1 year hopefully.

Off to put nippers to bed x

We had some excitement here today too, although it was with my olders ds (10). He got a deep cut on his shin at school when he tripped up some steps in the playground. So a trip to A&E was in order. He has 5 stitches and 3 steri-strips(?).

It was a bit awkward trying to arrange things as the hospital is half and hour away and I wasn't sure how long we'd be there so had to take J with me in case he needed fed. My mum came with us to make sure the oldest stayed awake as he was in shock and was wanting to sleep. Fortunately my dh was able to meet me there from his work so it all worked out OK in the end.

He is OK now, just a bit sore.

I just wrote a really long post but I lost it which is typical of me because I can't do anything right.

Basically I'm not coping. I'm a crap mother and useless at just about bloody everything. I can't do anything.

I can't remember to pay bills on time.
I don't know how to tidy the house.
I can't remember what shopping to buy and dh and I don't really eat properly anymore, I can just about manage to get good food in for ds1.
I've lost the ability to cook. I can't even manage to puree pear!
I spend all my time nagging at ds1 to do his homework, he is 6 years old he gets way too much!
I shout at him all the time, I never have time to play with him because I am always with ds2.
My marriage is falling apart.

I've got so much to do and yet I am wasting time posting on here.

I can't handle it when ds1 isn't with me because he is at age where he doesn't recognise danger and I am worried that he will drown or get knocked down by a car. He is going on a school trip soon and I can't bear the thought of him being in London what if there is a terrorist attack? Dh just tells me to get a grip and he hates me anyway.

I hope everyone is okay. I haven't had chance to read the thread I will have a look and catch up with everyones news.

dollshouse I think you need some help. Talk to your HV if you can and/or go to the dr.

It is hard having a new baby and still look after other dc and deal with your daily chores. It is not a failure to ask for help and this does not make you a crap mother. Please get some help :(

dollshouse I hope that you come back to the thread today and that you are Ok. I think it would help you to see your hv or gp as soon as possible. You sound really low and as if your self confidence and self esteem are really low. These, along with obsessional thoughts like you are having about your ds1 going on a trip, can be completely normal after having a baby. But they can also be a sign of pnd. Would you go and have a chat with your gp to rule this out? Please come back and have a chat. You probably feel like to you have so many things to do, but your health and wellbeing are so important. You need time for yourself too.

haverina You said that so much better than me. dollshouse please talk to someone

Oh poor dollshouse - hope you are feeling a bit better now. I agree with the others that it is best to talk to your GP or HV, or at least someone you trust in RL.

I had PND with DD1 - ok so far with DD2, but can relate to so many (so so many) of your thoughts and feelings - it is hard having a baby, and even harder when there is an older child. Sometimes I think I am a crap mum, and I cry a lot, but these thoughts and feelings pass quickly and I find joy in my babies. DH can be a pain too, and I think I should leave him quite often, but these feelings pass too. If these feelings do not lift, and you find you do not have episodes of happiness, then you may benefit from help - I didn't with DD1, and I am an mental health nurse!!! I missed so much with DD1. I know what I am feeling is pretty normal, but would not hesitate to seek help this time.

Thinking of you x

Thanks everyone. Sorry for bringing the thread down. I think I was feeling more stressed than normal yesterday.

I found the first 3 months so easy, ds2 just slotted into our lives that I was initially on quite a high and it was inevitable that things would change as things got more hectic.

I don't think I am depressed but I am very stressed and I do have a tendancy to allow my anxiety to take over when things get on top of me. Part of me is aware that I am not being completely rational when I worry obsessively about ds going on the school trip for example but another part of just wants to wrap both the boys in cotton wool and protect them from the outside world. You know how sometimes you hear tragic stories and you think its sad but then you think Oh well it won't happen to us, well I used to be like that but then over the last 5 years we have had lots of illness and bereavement in our family (some to be expected as we are getting older after all) and I think that going through the stress of having a number of relatives going through serious illness has changed me from thinking its not going to happen to our family into always thinking that the worst will happen. Yes bad things might happen but they might not and I have to accept that what will be will be but it is hard to be rational sometimes.

I know I am not a completely useless parent but at times I am inadequate and it isn't good enough I must improve. The house is too small for our needs and we are being overtaken by clutter, some people are happy to live like this but I can't I am not a naturally organised person it takes a lot of effort for me to stay on top of things and it isn't happening at the moment. I'm going to take the boys out to a cafe this afternoon and dh will have a mass clear out and at least start some sort of system for our admin records. I bought a diary and wall planner recently but haven't found the time to do anything with them so we will make sure that we sort that out today. Tomorrow dh will take the boys to his parents for a few hours so I can write a menu plan and register for an online supermarket shop. Part of my problem at the moment is I don't seem to have time to write a shopping list so I go shopping and haven't got a clue what to buy and I don't have a car so I can't carry much. For the last couple of months I have been living on tuna sandwiches for lunch and dinner nearly every day of the week because I don't have the imagination to think of anything else!

I think because nothing is written down by head is disorganised which makes my thinking muddled if that makes sense! My head is so full of ds1's homework timetable and trying to remember when his swimming lessons etc need to be paid that there isn't much room for anything else. I have just started ds2 onto solids and made a complete hash of his purees that I had to get dh to show me step by step last night how to do it. I am a complete numpty. Pre children I would invite friends over for dinner and cook an elaborate three course dinner but now I don't even think I would have the confidence to prepare someone else a sandwich as my domestic skills are nonexistent.

The problems between me and dh I think are because both of us are allowing our finanicial difficulties to cloud our thinking. Perhaps being more organised might help, I don't know. When I eventually get back to work things will be a lot easier although it will take a while before I am generating a decent income as I will be self employed and working on a very part time basis in the short term. Sometimes when I daydream I think when I am earning a good salary I will buy things for dh and treat him to a night out so I suppose I can't hate him that much because I wouldn't be thinking like that would I?

Thanks for allowing me to offload I feel a lot better today.

I will try and read through the thread to catch up on everyones news.

Morning thedollshouse, it sounds like you are feeling a bit better today, which is great.

You also sound like you are trying to get organised, which will make you feel better. Like you, I am not a natuarlly organised person. In fact I am so messy! I know that I am but can't seem to change my ways - which is strange because I hate mess ! We are living in a 2 bedroomed flat at the moment which is pretty tiny and I feel that one day my house is immaculate then the next day it looks like a bomb has hit it - I wonder how it gets like this when my baby can't even make a mess yet! We are going to move next year hopefully - waiting partly because I am taking the full year off work so will be unpaid for a couple of month, and partly because our flat might be hard to sell because it is likely to appeal to first time buyers. I am desperate to have more pace (to hide my mess!), so I completely understand how you feel about this.

From what you are saying in your last post, it sounds like you and your DH are pulling together?

Good idea doing the online shop. Doing a big shop in one go will be cheaper than buying dribs and drabs locally.

Dinner ideas? What about making easy things like lasagne, soups, casseroles, pasta bakes etc that will stretch two days and will do lunches too? [http://www.mumsnet.com/Recipes?call=IndexPage&DO_SEARCH=1&yn_budget=y&title=Budget%20recipes Here] are some good recipes. (by the way I am hopeless in the kitchen too - I am gonna try some of these this week too and mash them for my DD). I wouldn't stress yourself out trying to make anything fancy. Keep it simply and tryand do things that you can all eat to save you time.

What age is Ds2? If he is around 6 months you really don't have to puree everything. Mashing is fine at this age.

Hope everyone is having a nice Saturday morning. Eilish is napping just now. She didn't nap AT ALL yesterday and was so grumpy. Think it was because her gums were sore and she has the cold so she was not a happy baby .

Sorry, meant to say that here are some good recipes!

The dollshouse - well done I say! You are being proactive, and thinking pretty clearly I reckon - being a mum of two is hard, and as you found the first few months relatively easy, it will seem harder now. Never worry about bringing the thread down - this is for good and bad times, and is as safe an environment as any to express your feelings. You never know who else is feeling as you do, and by you talking, you may help someone else, and hopefully get the help and support you need.

I am Supermum today - got up at 6.15 with a smile, fed DD2, left her with DH, took DD1 to Grandmas for breakfast, and we both took DD2 to ballet (on time). Did not fall out with Grandma at all, made puree for DD2, cookies with DD1, evening meal and pud for all, all washing up and washing done, did supermarket shop... feeling fab.

Trouble is DH will think he is gonna get sex...

4 weeks until I go back to work, so making the best of it.

Harverina - hope LO is soon over cold - they are so miserable aren't they.

thedollshouse i've been there and it's hard to dust yourself off and keep going but getting it all out on here is a good thing. I can honestly say having a 2nd child is the hardest thing I've ever done and my mental health has been very fragile at times. you are definitely not alone.

stinkypinky wow. i'm tired just reading your post.

Harverina glad weaning is going so well. I'm in west of scotland too. Burns country.

Had a horrendous couple of days. As you all know I've been finding the feeding hard. H bit me on both sides during Thursday night and I decided enough was enough. It took 11 hours yesterday to get her to take a bottle and it was so hard. We're still persevering and she's willingly taking one now. I've been expressing so hope to mix feed after a couple of days but will stop the moment she starts to refuse a bottle again.

Neeko glad H has finally taken a bottle. Sorry to hear you have been having a rubbish time feeding again. Can't remember if you said already - have you started weaning yet?

Wow stinkypinky, I wish I could be more like you. I am going to try to be. Printing off menu planners and going to plan our week better from now on. I have a huge pile of washing and my house is a tip...this will all change this week!

Got a phone call yesterday - Eilish has an appointment with the paed allergy clinic on Monday morning. Delighted that she will be seen so quick. Hoping that she doesn't have lots of allergies and that they can pin point what caused the reaction as I am feeling really uptight about the weaning now, despite the fact that its been going great apart from that incident.

Neeko, do you mind me asking where you are? Dont say if you dont want to .

Anyone else who has started weaning find that their DC's sleeping patterns are changing? Eilidh is fighting sleep during the day. Yestreday she didnt nap at all. She was so overtired last night.

Harverina Good news about the referral. Fingers crossed it'll all be ok. I've sent you a private message re location. Check ur inbox up at login

I am in Scotland too - The wee county. Originally from Hampshire - gradually making my way north.

Neeko - feel for you x You have done so well to get this far. Hope things soon improve.

Harverina - I have just started meal planning and cooking in bulk. Carrot puree for B today... in freezer. Roast for us this evening , with bubble and squeak tomorrow. My house is always a tip, but I feel as if I am beginning to win a bit on a few fronts. Pretty much decided to stop using washable nappies - I may feel like super mum occasionally, but I am not super woman!

My house is still a mess but we managed to get loads of washings done today Will clean and tidy tomorrow and Tuesday.

Once we know what Eilidh is allergic too I am going to fill in the meal planners and get cooking. Going to try and make meals that we an all eat. My DH is a veggie which is a bit of a pain but I plan on making lots of stews, soups etc and getting them in the freezer. Will just mash them down for Eilidh.

How long are you all doing veg/fruit for before moving on to meat etc? Most people at my breastfeeding group do BLW and they say that their 6 month olds were eating steak pies, stews etc???

Eilidh had toast and banana again today for lunch and she seemed to enjoy it. She just gummed the bread - some must have gone in as she was a bit sick after a milk feed later on and there was bits of bread! She also had melon and mashed banana but she isnt as keen about taking things off a spoon, apart from porridge which she gets quite excited about.

Hope you are all well. Neeko hope things have been better today and that H has taken a bottle from you today.

Just a quick post to say we're back from Eurodisney. Absolutely shattered. George was no trouble at all but DS1 was a nightmare. We were there with my sister & her daughter who is also 3 & the two of them were so badly behaved. It was exhausting just constantly telling them off! Enjoyed it, but all the walking, early mornings, discipling naughty children on top of night feeds was just too knackering. Glad to be home!

Ds1's funny rash was gone by the morning thank goodness.

Thanks for your support. My DH was out on Saturday night and I was up once with DD1, Once (for an hour and a half) with H and once with DH! Was so tired when H awoke at 6 that I forgot we were ff and had my boob in her mouth before I knew where I was! I thought I'd really wasted it but she took the bottle yesterday and then fed from me before bed so it looks like we're mix feeding like I wanted (touch wood)
She's still not keen on solids and still awake for ages in the middle of the night. 2 hours last night. Does anyone else have that? I wouldn't mind her up feeding, it's the awake for ages that kills me.
DH is off next week so I think we'll really have to try some sleep training then.

Harverina You're not that far from me. maybe you, Stinkypinky and I should do a thread meet up sometime.

Stinkypinky Washable nappies? You really are supermum!

Zeeky Glad you survived the trip. Hope sleep finds you soon.

Neeko glad to hear that H is finally taking a bottle. George does the 'awake for 2 hours in the night' thing too, but thankfully not for the last week. It is totally knackering I agree, and is what prompted us to start the solids last week. He's still been waking up twice each night but has at least been settling back down quickly after a feed. He's been having a bit of fruit or veg purée at lunch time so far, but may start breakfast this week too.

Dollshouse hope you are feeling a little better about everything at the moment. I find the only way I can function day to day is by using a wall calendar and multiple to-do lists, otherwise I lose track of what day if the week it is. I am also lucky enough to have a cleaner, otherwise god only knows what state the house would be in. In some ways the change from one child to having two has been harder than adapting to having one, as everyone (especially DH) just expects you to be able to carry on as if nothing has changed. Whereas after the first one I felt that I got a lot more support from family and friends. I have found the emotional tug of war between the two children very hard to get to used to & often feel that I am not giving them enough of my time/love. This on top of the extreme tiredness of broken sleep can be a real killer. But then I have a good day where I feel on top of it all & it all seems ok again.

Zeeky - so well put about change from 1 to 2.

Had hair cut off today - goodbye Waynetta, hello Jamie Lee Curtis (but not quite so grey)

So how is the christmas shopping going?

BJs are so much easier with short hair...