June 2008-keeping little hands off mummy's creme eggs

[poppy34]

New thread here

Just to add to the train talk. All of mine have loved it! this bridge is awful. BigJigs is a brand I have discovered recentley, works with all of the brio/thomas I have but is a lot cheaper - infact bought some this morning as I needed some male/male and female/female pieces!

nice to see you Going and Puree.

I am in denial that my baby will be 2 soon, so no party talk here yet!!

This is very me me me but I could really do with some advice.

I mentioned a little while ago that our neighbour has got all worked up about our trees. We've offered to have them trimmed (at our expense) and have booked in a tree surgeon, but the neighbour is still not happy. We're willing to have the biggest tree cut down altogether. We haven't actually told the neighbour this as it's become too unpleasant to speak to him, or even to walk down his drive to stick a note through the letter box. He's obviously decided to wage a war of attrition against us. He is regularly playing his radio very loudly, with it facing our garden. He is burning smoky bonfires. Now, he and his partner are sitting on the flat roof of their shed, with their radio on very loudly, and they are facing our garden. They can see into our kitchen. They can see DD1 in her school uniform doing somersaults in the garden and scratching her bum (don't ask!). It's very intimidating.

I don't feel I can speak to this man. I think he is trying to goad us into a confrontation. We're willing to go ahead with the tree work, at our own expense, even though it's much more pruning than we really want, as we're not prepared to lower ourselves to his level. But DH is off at work and I'm at home with the children and this awful man and his partner a few metres away from our garden.

Our road is lovely. It's in a very "nice" area. The neighbours are all friendly. The children play outside. I've never had a problem like this before and I don't know how to deal with it.

Have only got a moment but didn't want to ignore your post Rolf - have you checked out whether your area has any neighbour mediation services?

Rolf That does sound very unpleasent. No idea how to deal with that sort of situation but I do really feel for you.

I thought the metal in the body was because the child has swallowed something else - it's not like they just do things once.

Rolf is there another neighbour you can ask over for a cup of tea and some support? Even if it's just to have them in your kitchen with you while he's peering in...

puree hugs about the chickenpox. I didn't find it that bad but the isolation thing was horrible. Both boys missed their parties last year because of it too.

neenz go for the Ebay garage! They're sturdy so a used one should be brilliant (fraser sits on ours).

shoes - we always left ours on at school etc. It's just houses that you'd take them off!

no word on the car yet. I'm getting more panicked the longer this drags on...

Oh Rolf that sounds awful. I agree talking to another neighbour is a good idea - perhaps that neighbour can then talk to the horrid one? Could you just give it a week, try to ignore him and hope he gets bored and stops? I can imagine how awful it is. When our neighbour is gardening at his fence he can see into our kitchen and I don't like it at all - and he is not even actually looking in or being menacing!

Oh Rolf, how awful to feel like that in your own home. Does your neighbour own his house or do they rent? What are the neighbours like on the other side of the horrible one?

Rolf, that sounds awful - I would try phoning your local council and see if they could provide any advice on what to do . I think it's Environmental Health that deal with this sort of thing. So stressful for you .

Had an awful day - got stopped for speeding. They read me my rights . It was awful and I feel so angry at myself. I did say to the police officer that I was finding life difficult at the moment cos I was so tired (not in anyway trying to excuse my actions btw, just by way of explanation) but she pointed out (quite rightly ) that if I was that tired I shouldn't be driving .

My mum was with me and kept on apologising cos she said if she hadn't been talking to me I would have seen the signs. Rubbish of course, but she felt so bad for me .

Oh, and it looks like we're not moving til mid-July now. Fuck .

Did you get points Eddie? We went to visit my mil over easter and got home a few days later to fine dh had tripped a speed camera. It was really early morning and we were the only ones on the road but I guess that is no excuse. How are you about it? Don't worry, it happens to everyone. I'm sorry to hear about the house too, but I have no idea when we will be moving. Given tha size of the new mortgage, I'm not in a hurry to be honest !

3 points and £60 fine.

I think it was the fact I actually had to deal with the police face to face that was so upsetting, and having my rights read (I thought I was going to be arrested ).

I've never been in trouble with the law (well, unless you include being on the poll tax riots!) so it was all v stressful, and the last thing I need right now.

I'll get over it . Don't want to tell anyone in RL so offloading on here .

at poll tax riots Eddie

Rolf so sorry about your situation. It's horrible. The nearest equivalent experience was having hideous neighbours in the flat above us a few years ago: incredible noisy dance music for hours and hours all night; trashing the communal lift etc. I think Eddie's suggestion to call the council and seek some advice is the best thing to do. You don't have to act on it, but at least then you know what options you can fall back on. If they are playing the radio loud enough for it to be bothering you then they can measure the volume and see if it is technically loud enough to be official noise pollution. Actually when we were in the same flat we had disturbances from construction work starting v early in the morning. Nottingham Council were brilliant and got them to stop with the early morning deliveries.

Eddie - sorry about your horrible day. Just one to put down to experience I suppose. I would be terribly upset in the same circumstances.

I was just checking out the baby name threads, and stumbled on Essie providing a very comprehensive explanation of the origin of the name Evan. I started to read the post, thought "this is the kind of post Essie would write" checked back at the poster's name, and sure enough, there she was

just got really upset with DH. He has just suggested that I should construct a spreadsheet of our finances at some point during the day. Not so unreasonable, but he put this to me just as I had sat down after. 14 hour day when P hasn't slept at all. I am feeling tired and hormonal.

Waves to Puree: noted that you are paying attention to the ITNG chat

penguin still AWOL. Hope all is ok.

A couple of links that may be useful rolf :

DirectGov

Advice from CAB

DG, you'll be surprised to learn that I was a v radical student and was on the poll tax demo/riot of 1990 - my first experience of police brutality .

spider, I love the name Evan - still wonder whether I should have used it! I knew it was a Welsh form of John, which is another reason we wanted to use it cos that's FIL's name and dh's middle name . People might think we'd named him after a pop star though .

Oh what a bugger Eddie, the car and the move. sending (((hugs)))

Spider - no wonder you're tired and emotional, 14 hour day and no naps, topping that all off with a spreadsheet of finances, I would have told him where to put his finances!!

Thanks so much for the support. Some good advice

I'm reluctant to approach the obvious neighbours. The man who lives below the horrible man (that house is divided into flats) has a lot of troubles in his life and has just had some lovely news that is keeping him smiling and I really don't want to rain on his parade. The couple on the other side have had some health issues that seem to have knocked the stuffing out of them and I don't want to trouble them. If I get the opportunity to raise it, I will, but I'm reluctant to seek them out.

Some of the people across the road or further down might be able to help. I'll have a think about that.

I phoned the council anonymously and they told me that the noise and smoke would be environmental, and I'd need to complete a complaint form that, if they act on, would be done without mentioning us. The sitting on the roof looking at us, they said was more anti-social behaviour, and they've given me contact details but no-one was answering the phone .

It was really unsettling. Poor T was very constipated and was very distressed, and I was sitting outside with her so I could keep an eye on the others whilst I comforted her. So they were staring at a toddler who was in obvious pain. DD1 was doing somersaults in that lovely uninhibited way little girls do - with her skirt riding up and her knickers on show. DS1 felt too self-conscious about the staring to stay out so he went inside. I don't think I get intimidated that easily but this was just awful.

The stupid thing is that we've actually booked in a tree surgeon, and the neighbour knows this. Short of promising him that we'll raze our garden to the ground, I don't know what would stop him doing this.

Anyway, sorry for rambling...

Abdn any news on the car? I can see how you just need to know, rather than waiting.

Sybil that house with the train tracks sounds fabulous.

Deb fingers in ears about T being almost 2 as well! They are still babies!

Hello to everyone else, and thanks

Oh, crap, Spider you've caught me! It's my secret vice - I go on the baby name threads and be really opinionated (but hopefully not nasty) about Welsh names. I namechange if they're stupid Welsh names (e.g. Tolkien/made up), or worse, American ones where the gender is mixed up (Dylan, Meredith and others...) I'm not a mean person in RL and try to keep it polite but sternly correcting! At least that one you saw was ok. Lol. (But full marks to Eddie for doing the homework and knowing that it's a Welsh version of John.)

Rolf sounds really stressful with the neighbour. I can only second what others say - and find out if anyone else has problems. Bad timing too - did you have your consultation today?

Eddie mega sympathies to you too. I once got a fine and points and I was really annoyed because it was valentine's day (!) and I was doing 80 on an empty motorway in great driving conditions...yeah yeah no excuse. But I was also pulled over a couple of years ago, as in with flashing lights and everying, and they were stern and quite horrid and said I could be done for dangerous driving - I got confused and thought I'd done something truly awful and started to cry, and then they said they weren't going to do me. (I hadn't caused any accidents, and I'd not done anything particularly wrong; I overtook a car. But the top tip there is NEVER overtake anything if you've got a police car behind you, because they do frown on it...) However, I was so so paranoid, and I changed my car very soon afterwards becuase it felt all wrong. It is really, really upsetting so much sympathy.
Eddie I just sent your brother an e-mail today. On a Republic issue. Tell him I'm not some nutter.

Oh, x-posted Rolf. I've just marked a dissertation on asbos (!) and I did think asbo when you were describing his behaviour. But I also thought it could be the sledgehammer to crack a nut scenario too. It all sounds quite nasty really and he's obviously trying to get to you. Nasty man.
I had problems with a neighbour once, and I cursed him in Welsh, but then he had a heart attack (within the hour ) and I felt guilty.

Thanks Eddie, and sorry about your awful day.

Essie you've made me laugh for the first time in hours! Please could you teach me how to curse Steroid Bob in Welsh? I'm prepared to take the risk

No community mediation services round here - I've just checked. Twas a v good idea though.

Yes, I was at the hospital again today. Just a pre-op for the biopsy (when I was examined about the leaky lady stuff, they thought my fanjo looked funny and need to do a biopsy so I'm cringingly embarassed and utterly terrified). She ticked the "urgent" section on the form but said it wasn't clinically urgent, which I'm just accepting at face value even though it seems pretty illogical.

I completely understand about your reluctance to confront the neighbou Rolf. We've got issues with one of ours but nowhere near as bad. It's privately owned but rented out via the council so I'm going to have a word with our local Councillor. When's your DH back? Could he go and have a chat, let him know you're sorting the tree and try to 'clear the air' ?

Eddie sorry you saw the police at their worst back in the day. times.

Where's poppy atm? to lurking poppy (maybe).

Ah, good point about Poppy too. how are you feeling post op? I your thread about holidays the other day but had no smart ideas initially. If you are looking for something similar to Club Med it occurred to me belatedly that Scott Dunn might be the right sort of thing. £££ though. I knew their ski staff when I did my stint in Switzerland and they were excellent including the nannies. The summer set up might not work so well as it is lots of villas I think, but possibly they do luxury hotels in the med too.

DH and I fine now. I just had to tell him to shut up for 15 mins whilst I mumsnetted. When we fall out he will not just leave things, he keeps raking over them and wanting to give me a cuddle which is the last thing I want. Grrr.

Essie - I am well into the baby name threads. I have decided it is the least expensive and least paranoia inducing way to obsess about being pregnant. The anti natal and pregnancy threads just make me worry, and the product threads make me think we need to spend lots of money (hence the call for a finances spreadsheet). What's wrong with Meredith then? Is it a boys name?

oooh, what's on your list Spider?

eddie I got a ticket for going through a red light once - It was an advance in the direction opposite me and traffic was heading my way and I never saw the light at all. The worst bit was it was a holiday weekend and they were doing a crackdown on drink driving so I felt like they were doubly suspicious of me (I never have a drink and then drive - I'm too much of a easy drunk). But you have to keep in mind it's not exactly being in trouble with the law - it's a traffic offense...