June 2008-keeping little hands off mummy's creme eggs

[poppy34]

New thread here

Eddie that sounds horrid. So did they do the 'anything you do say' thing then? Seems a bit OTT - I would have been petrified too. I hate getting in trouble.

at the poll tax riots - good on you. I was only 13 then. Awful story yesterday about Blair Peach wasn't it - they knew an officer had done it and had 'strong suspicions' about who it was but nothing was done, in fact it was covered up. Anyone who goes on about how great policing was in those days like on Life On Mars is crackers.

Rolf, hope the council can help you out, and perhaps once the trees have been chopped down he will stop - does he know you have arranged for the trees to come down? If he doesn't he may change his stance once they go. Fingers crossed.

lol at Essie putting the world to rights on the baby names thread . We like Hannah and Ben, but haven't really discussed it in depth.

DH often says to me 'let's do a list of our finances', as if that will somehow magic extra money out of thin air .

He has agreed to give up playing footie next year though . And it didn't even turn into an argument. He said he didn't want to stop playing, I said why don't you play Saturdays instead, he said what about Anfield, I said well I think one or the other has to go next season cos both in one weekend is too much, so he decided to keep his season ticket, which is what I wanted cos at least that is only every other weekend (ish).

Essie, that sounds v traumatic .

Rolf, you poor thing - I hate PEs at the best of times . At least you'll be seen quickly.

spider, sorry to hear P didn't sleep yesterday - he was getting so good with his naps . It is so hard being pg with a toddler - esp in the first trimester. I remember praying (in a non-religious sense of course ) that A wouldn't be a late walker cos I just didn't have the energy to pick him up . If he'd not walked until 16mths god knows what I would have done!

DG, yes, it wasn't a good experience . Neenz, thanks for making me feel old ! I was 18 and went on a bus to London with all my college mates. The demo was amazing - felt like real people power - but as we walked down Whitehall we suddenly noticed down every side street that there were van loads of police already in full riot gear. The organisers had pleaded with the police to move the rally to Hyde Park cos there were too many people for Trafalgar Square, but they refused. Once we got into the square the atmosphere turned v nasty v quickly. It was exciting at first (don't forget, I was only 18), watching the protestors climb onto the scaffolding of South Africa House, but it quickly became v frightening. As the riots started we tried to run but the police were blocking every exit and baton charging the crowds . One of my friends got kicked by a horse and ended up walking with a stick for months.

We witnessed appalling police brutality but were unable to report any of the officers involved (and who would we have reported them to?) because they had all removed their id badges .

On a lighter note, I met a lovely police woman this morning who was very sympathetic (I had to point out to her I was entirely in the wrong!) and it is all sorted! AH, I know it's 'only' a traffic offence and I need to get some perspective but I think it was being read my rights that felt a bit intimidating , and yes Neenz they did do the whole "anything you say and can will . . . " etc etc .

Right, off for some retail therapy . . .

Oh and I love the name Ben, but it sounds like a porn star with our surname !

Ben and Hannah both lovely! Spider yes, Meredith is a boy's name, and it's very masculine indeed, but somewhere - I blame the US - it started being used on girls. Dylan is a boy's name and I can't stand it when I see it on girls! Lots of people think lovely Celtic wafty names, nice and hippy, and get it very very wrong. I once met a girl called 'Aderyn' (she's got to be the only one so I hope nobody knows her) who had hippie parents and called her the Welsh form of 'bird'. Fine, but to a Welsh-speaker if someone's an 'aderyn', they're the type who use women/have affairs. Someone I know was at school with a child called Gwlithyn, dewdrop. Lovely until you learn it's also the word for slug. There's also the issue of names being really old fashioned and to any Welsh speaker it's the equivalent of Edna or Mavis. (Nothing wrong with either name, though!) Gwyneth is one of those - an old-lady name IYKWIM. Gwyneth is also grammatically incorrect.
Eddie whenever I see your surname I smile because in Welsh 'dan do' means 'under the roof'. It's an odd surname (in a good way!) so what's the origin? Looks Celtic but you can never tell with surnames.

Poll tax riots sound quite something. It's funny because Neenz said out loud something which I wasn't going to - but I was also a child then - not as young as Neenz tho. I thought we were the same age, Eddie. Am I just confused as to when they happened?

Argh got to go - so hello to everyone else, and sorry, I lost track of time there. Having a crap morning and had a stern talking to by the acting head of department. I nearly started to cry but I'm not good at being told off good and proper.

Don't tell anyone but I never did pay my poll tax . I was in England when I was first liable for it so that would have been in 91/92?

[Eddie] I never made it to any poll tax demos but I did as a child donate my portable black and white tv to the miners in the 80s . I've been on a few other demos since then though unsurprisingly! When I lived on London I got trapped in town once when there was a demo that got out of control (I wasn't on it - can't even remember what it was about, one where loads of shops got smashed up). We didn't even run into any trouble but it was a bit scary. Tube ground to a halt and loads of roads all cut off. We walked for miles to get home.

Interesting chat on the Welsh names Essie. I know a few (Welsh) folk with Welsh names but I'll not name them. Hope they would all be approved by you though

Glad you got everything sorted out with the police Eddie. I wish some police offers could come and hang around the big junction near my house though. Every single day there are some really bad examples of people speeding up to get through a red light while we're waiting to turn right.

Rolf no real list yet. I'm not too worried about a boy's name as we were quite confident and in agreement on Peter. However we never really found any girl's names we liked. It was quite a relief when P was a boy! I am still struggling with girls' names TBH. I don't seem to like lots of the really pretty names that are so in vogue at the moment. Essie I like the name Meredith (for a girl, I am ill educated in the Welsh language to know any better ) but probably wouldn't choose it because: a) I think DH rejected it last time; b) Seeing as we are two English people living in England I think we ought to stick to English names, and c) Meredith doesn't scan too well with DH's surname (think the famous women's prison) it's a bit staccato da-da-da da-da-da. Neenz I like both those names, although Hannah would be a struggle with DH's surname.

Which brings me onto something I have been pondering for at least a year. After you had your first-born child, did you strongly identify yourself as being a mother of boys or a mother of girls? You see I see myself as the mother of a son, and I can't really imagine having a girl. I was wondering whether anyone found it strange when they got a subsequent child of the opposite sex. Or say in Rolf and Goings case had 2 of one sex before having a third of the opposite? In contrast to me, my cousin has told me that when her DS was born she was at a bit of a loss as to what to do as she had always imagined herself having a DD. She had PND, and this was probably one of the contributing
factors. Happily her DC2 was a girl, who is the apple of her eye, but I feel a bit sorry for her DS still. Anyway, I would be intersted in your thoughts on this, as I have long assumed that I am a bit odd in this respect (and others too)

Eddie wow the poll tax riots sounded like quite something. I think Neenz and I are a similar age. I was definitely a child when they happened. I remember my parents arguing that the poll tax was reasonable citing my grandfather (not a well off man) who lived alone and must have used less public services than his neighbours who lived in the other half of the semi and had 5 people living there.

Neenz DS was going to be called Ben but it didn't suit him when we saw him - still love the name!

SPider A few people only know me as ds's mum (through the playgroups I go to with him) and where suprised that my other children are girls as they saw me as a mum of boys.
WHen I found out DS was a boy I did find it a bit strange and couldn't imagine myself having a boy. WHen he was born I wondered why I had even thought about it as he was simply my baby, his sex was totally irrelevant. My girls had very different characters from birth and DS is a bit like both of them and has his own differences too. If the girls had behaved the same way as each other then I would be inclined to think parenting boys is diiferent to parenting girls.
I always wanted to have a girl and when pregnant with ds was happy he was a boy but glad to already have daughters. Now he is here I really wouldn't have minded at all if I only had boys as he is more wonderful than I could have imagined!
Not usre all of that has really answered your question!

Spider I still think of myself as a mother of boys . When we had DD1, I was a bit freaked out about changing her nappy, and I mentioned it to my community mw who said that every patient she'd ever had who had a girl after having boys, felt the same way. Even now, if I'm with a friend who has girls, or had girls first, I assume that she is the expert on girls and I'm a bit clueless. Bit silly really, but there you go - you're not the only one . Part of it is identifying with those precious years as a young(ish) first-time mother, when I had the boys.

How did you find it the other way round, Going?

Good names Neenz . Hannah in particular goes well with Theo and Esther.

Sorry, cross posted Going!

Before children I always imagined myself as a Mother of girls and here I am with 3 wonderful boys (but still gaze longingly at those pretty dresses in the shops)

Rolf, I did exactly the same thing when dd was born. I had to ask a midwife for advice on how to clean her bits! A girl is just so different (and harder to clean) than a boy on the nappy stakes though. You do get used to it very quickly. When I was having dd I wanted her to be a boy. I loved ds1 so much I couldn't imagine loving a child who was so different as to be a whole other sex as much as I loved him. Then she was born and I realised I had been worrying over total bollocks!

Thanks Going, Rolf and Sybil, that is interesting, and good to know that I am not completely odd. Deb I had a feeling that you thought of yourself as a mother of girls as one of the first things that happened after I started posting on the ante-natal threads was that you found out that Ethan was going to be a boy, and you had been hoping for a girl. I know what you mean about looking at cute baby girl's clothes. To compensate I then look at the local teenage girls shuffling up and down the High St in their Ugg boots and leggings with their hair, and their make up and their attitude and my blood runs cold .

spider, most of my friends (in fact, I think all of my RL friends) who have two children have one of each. I have one friend who has three kids who has three boys but that's it. On the other hand, I have four friends who have an only and they all have boys.

I think I've said on here before that I was always concerned about having a daughter because of all the issues I've had about body image and am quite relieved to have two boys and not have to worry about any of that. Having said that I know there are some things that I'll probably 'miss out on' having no daughter, but nothing I'm esp concerned about (do you think one of the boys would like to learn to knit? ).

The only thing that saddens me is the number of people who have commented on how disappointed I must be to have two boys. Given my history that couldn't be further from the truth!

Sorry, not sure that helped! On the names front, as I told you last week we only ever had one girls' name - whereas I still have at least three boys' names I'd love to use. Can't see dh agreeing to 3 more kids though!

Oh, and the poll tax riots were in 1990 so essie, you are definitely younger than me .

Thanks Spider for asking, and thanks to everyone for the responses - I've been wondering about this too. And I've found Sybil has addressed my main worry. I'm really ashamed to admit this but I've sort of thought what if I have another child and it's a girl, will I adore her as much as I do Iestyn because she's a girl? Don't know if it makes sense at all, and it probably sounds like I have huge psychological problems (!) but it's like Spider said, I think of myself as a mother of boy(s) and can't imagine the difference. But it's also the same as Sybil says about not being able to imagine a child so different as to be another sex. So a special thank you to Sybil because I was way, way too scared to voice that thought.

It also answers another question - which I'm not really worried about and it's not really a question more of a musing - about how I could possibly love anyone or anything as much as I love Iestyn, but obviously I would because you just do. (Before I had him I thought I'd be quite take-it-or-leave-it about a child of mine! I'm not!) I'm only thinking about this because I know someone who has 1 DD and won't be having another because they don't think they could 'share' themselves. Which is odd.

Essie one reason I don't want any more children is because I think I'd be spreading myself too thinly. I wonder if that is what your friend means? I wrote more but have deleted it as it was turning into too much of a Barney moment

Essie my mum always said she never thought she could love another child as much as she loved her first, but she says once they are here you love them all the same. My cousin apparently isn't having any more kids because her DD is 'perfect' therefore it wouldn't be fair to have another . As a mum of a boy and a girl at the same time I love them both exactly the same and don't really think of them as different sexes, although they are very different to each other.

Sponge at anyone who says you might be disappointed with two boys. How rude! Poll tax riots sound very exciting and scary - just goes to show how the police can turn these things nasty by their own behaviour. I have seen it in the past at football matches.

Oh, this wouldn't be a good time to point out that I started secondary school in 1990 would it? poll tax riots kind of passed me by a bit!

I am a fervent rule keeper. I hate doing anything that I think is against the rules, it makes me feel very uncomfortable, even if I don't agree with the rule. I;m not sure what this says about me, but I too would have been all weepy about the police eddie.

oh, look at the time, better go and pick up C from nursery!

Rolf, what's a Barney moment?!

Thank you Biscuits!

Neenz, the one that particularly springs to mind was a random woman I met in the park when heavily pg with M - she had a DD and commented on how gorgeous A is (of course ) and asked me if I knew what I was having. When I replied I was having another boy she responded, "what a shame, still, as long as it's healthy"!!!! . Nearly punched her!

I love my boys equally but differently if that makes sense - partly cos they are such different children , amazingly different really which I suppose makes it even more annoying when people go on about it being a shame when you 'only' have boys.

Just watching the news, can you believe it's been 3 years since Maddie McCann went missing?

A Barney moment = a moment of cloying sentimentality

Biscuits God, I feel really old now . I was at university in 1990!

Poor McCann family

The McCann's used to live in the house next door to us, before we moved here. I think a lot of their friend's and relatives live around our area - there were yellow ribbons around for a long time. So sad.

rolf don't feel old, feel superior in life experience!

I started university in 1990 so you can't be that much older than me Rolf !

Love the phrase 'barney moment' btw .

Biscuits, that's so sad. Cannot in a million years begin to imagine what they are going through every day .

I had my first job around the poll tax time, and it was for local government, so the swines deducted mine straight from my wages!

Sorry to hear about the woes on the thread - Abdn's car, Eddie's run in with the police, and Rolf's ladybit traumas alongside that blardy neighbour- he is a twunt of the first degree, and he'll get his comeuppance I'm sure. I have to say, I'd shelve the plans to cut your trees if I were you...

Sybil, had to smile about you worrying over 'total bollocks' indeed you were!

Not much to report here. I've had a fab idea (even if I do say so myself) for a marketing campaign for work, it's being pitched to the head honchos tomorrow, so fingers crossed. If it gets passed it will be v exciting. I feel it's the first really good creative idea I've had for a while.

DP is away on tour til the weekend (your neck of the woods Abdn) so I'm going to catch up on Glee. Woo hoo!

oooo Glee. a guilty pleasure bugger! My sister tells me that my BIL watches it with her, on the understanding that she tells no-one!

Have booked ITNG tickets Biscuits!

That's great about work Bugger. Hope tomorrow goes well.

There are still yellow ribbons around here - a connection with the family, I think .