FEB 2010 Valentines, pancakes and BABIES!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Here it is, then - the post natal thread for the Feb 2010 gang - let the poo/bf/nappy rash/sleeplessness/crying

OMG whatdoIdonow!! conversations commence...

Happy Easter

Clappedout Good luck!

Thanks IC. Love the links on that site to one in Oz on co-sleeping and breast-feeding. I've pasted them here:

www.bellybelly.com.au/articles/baby

and the one on baby-wearing. Let's me just get on with what I want to do without feeling guilty of I'm making a rod for my back.

GF have you tried an oral syringe if the spoon's a problem? Should be able to get them at the pharmacy.

IC NZ is just TOO far away (and yep, we did know it was 12,000 miles before we moved here, but the only thing we couldnt research and check out was actually living with that? ho hum!) We still love NZ, but we love the UK more, and really REALLY miss family and friends.

Ah, bliss? lovely, lovely DH and DD have just taken my (still love her but not quite so lovely after living with her for 3 months, though she's been enormously helpful and i'm an ungrateful cow) ma on holiday for a week before she flies back to the uk? DS and I have the house to ourselves for 6 whole days! Am looking forward to a bit of a babymoon, hopefully!!

He's now waking 2.5 hourly, regular as clockwork day and night, so our nights of having to wake him for a feed are past? !

IC DD was very windy at the bottom end too - we basically got no sleep for the first 3 months, then things seemed to ease for her? (though we still got no sleep, it was related to teething rather than wind!!!!

am filling in another job application here, and have just had a major, oh my goodness, panic? wtf am i going to wear for work?!?!? the job i loved and left last year to emigrate was a jeans and hoody kind of a job? my last 'need to be smart to be in an office' kind of a job was 2 children and about 20 fashion seasons ago - i have nothing to wear!!! even if any of it did fit me, which it wouldn't as i'm still 1.5stone over pre DS pregnancy weight?. dammit, if i ever get an interview, i'm going to have to bite the bullet and go shopping!!

still have an enormously long list of things to do before we unemigrate in 5.5 weeks (yippee!!) am getting a bit stressed tbh, but hoping i might get chance to get a load done this week whilst i've got the house to myself?. can tell i'm getting stressed as i've broken out in more inconvenient abcesses? though on a more positive note, my torn bum seems to have improved the last couple of days!! (sorry TMI!)

right, i've rambled more than enough? sorry for dumping!! happy easter all - it's already lunchtime on easter monday here, and i think i'm going for a nap!

Nice site, sunangel, thanks for sharing!

Fair do's, stoofadoof - can't say you didn't give it a try! Spain is at least within a cheap 2-hour flight of the UK, not sure I could handle living SO far away as NZ... Do they have charity shops in NZ? That's one of the main things (apart from F&F) that I miss here in Espana. They have the odd second hand shop, but they're not a patch on the fabulousness of the UK charity stores.

Another not-bad night with DD, I got around 6 hours again, which still feels like a lot! DH is back to work today after a week off which means I will probably have to forsake my afternoon siesta, unless DD co-operates (unlikely, she sleeps much better at night than in the day, but I guess it's preferable that way round!)

First nappy change of the day was a poosplosion of pyroclastic proportions, can't quite believe my modest-sized breasts are producing enough to cause such a thing, but clearly they are!

3 months to grow out of the windyness, stoof? If I add four weeks for prematurity, that means we've got another six to go (if DD follows a similar pattern). Reckon I can live with that. Just hope it won't last much longer... fingers crossed.

Dear all,

can I join you? My baby boy was born on the 6th of February. He was 5 weeks premature but he's doing well apart from his jaundice.

xxx

Have entered the weird world of lopsided breasts

MIL just given us a easter egg for our 4week LO....crackers. (i can't even eat it as i'm a vegan)

Happy Easter

welcome evitas nice to have you on board.

stoof your mum seems to have been with you forever. You have done really well! My mum stayed for a month round the time of ds' birth and she drove me mad. She was great with ds but dreadful with 4 yr old dd. Apparently when my generation was dd's age we did what we were told straight away, ate everything on our plate and were generally little angels. Yeah right! She got so stressed with dd which in turn wound me up.

Ds is waking 3 or 4 times a night but as we co sleep it doesn't rob me of too much sleep. Dd didn't sleep through until she was 1 so I have fairly low expectations on the sleeping front. He is giving me the most fabulous smiles though, and coos (sp?)away at me and generally gazes up at me as if I am the most fabulous thing in the world (poor deluded little thing!) and I am absolutely crazy about him. That said , I will be delighted when the 5 hour freeding frenzy ends. I want my evenings back....

welcome evitas

Btw more affirmative links to make me feel better about parenting approach DH and I are decided on

drjaygordon.com/attachment/flowershop.html

Hi evitas - congratulations and of course you can join us! Another premmie, welcome aboard. My DD has had difficulty breastfeeding (still does to some degree), digestion issues (wind) and is an incredibly noisy sleeper - all, I suspect, related to her prematurity. How about your DS?! Other than that, she is bijou and gorgeous (IMO).

Ah, sunangel, I got William Sears' book "Attachment Parenting" before we had DD - interesting read, but I suspect I would have ended up doing that type of parenting anyway - just feels instinctive, really.

Welcome evitas

I think we're getting close to sleeping through the night! (I bet I'm going to jinx us by saying that!)
DS went 5 1/2 hours without feeding 3 nights ago, then 7 hours 2 nights ago, then 6h last night... so fingers crossed. Unfortunately his timing is not perfect an I'll have to work on it as he sleep through from 6pm to midnight, 2 am ish, so it'll need adjusting but still it shows he can do it!

Rant alert...
Are you not fed up when members of the family told you that they don't see the baby enough?
My BIL had a whinge at DH because his daughter (who's back from uni) hasn't seen DS yet. Why can't she call me and ask if she can pop in? She's got a far busier schedule than mine! But we are the badies!!!!

Okay rant over

oh chinook that's SO like my mum! one example - DH first day back at work, so i was a little stressed? it was tea time? DD was having a very minor melt-down about eating her tea (tired and missing her dad who had been there for tea for 3 weeks), and i was sitting with her trying to sort it out at the same time as feeding DS who was also having a bit of a cry!? cue my mum standing up from the table, grabbing her plate and saying "I'm taking this upstairs, I can't stand HER any longer" and stomping off?. I was later subjected to a rant from my mum about how "SHE will get excluded from nursery for being a little cow etc etc" I kept my cool and said i didn't think her behaviour was unusual or particularly bad - just typical of a toddler who has just undergone the huge upheaval of having a sibling arrive, plus her dad going back to work, plus thinking her Nan doesn't like her or want to be her friend (not the first time mum hasn't been very nice to her), plus being unhappy in NZ and wanting to be back in the UK etc? sheesh?. honestly, it has been a help having two extra hands around but it's come at a bloody big price some days!!

welcome evitas

i rang the docs for DS's immunisations appt expecting one next week - tomorrow afternoon!! erk? hope he doesn't react badly, cos i'm still home alone til they get back from hols on Sat? missing DD and DH terribly talking to them a couple of times a day, but felt awful earlier when DD burst into tears and said she wanted a hug! 6 weeks seems so early for his jabs

just gone 8pm here, and DS is asleep, so I'm going too! night all

ooh IC forgot about the charity shop question - no charity shops as such, but the churches all run op shops that open a couple of times a week? not a patch on the UK shops tho!

and climberchick I too am a little lopsided!

Just got back from DD getting her first imms - 3 jabs. Bless her, she screamed (in fact, the first full-throated crying with tears she's ever done) but calmed down again very quickly, thankfully. Took me longer - I was so upset!! Kept telling myself it's for her own good, but it still had me in pieces. Honestly, I've become such a softy since I became a Mum - the slightest thing sets me off. I have a feeling that's not unusual, though!

GF - lucky you! Quite a few awakenings here last night, although she re-settled well. I guess she'll go longer without a feed when she's bigger - despite being 10 weeks DD is still only 4.1kg (but she's doing great on the chart - height, head and weight all going in the right direction, adjusted for prematurity, so that's good news...)

OK, got the Spanish equivalent of Calpol handy in case she reacts. Another less-than-great night ahead, I suspect. Hopefully she'll be fully recovered by the time her paternal GPs arrive tomorrow evening...

I read somewhere that if you let the baby nurse just before the jabs and after, they don't feel the pain as much as they're still high on endorphins from the breastmilk - just a tip!

Just back from the injections too, bless him he screamed the house down - but more of an angry cry rather than a tearful one. I was on strict instructions from DH to not get upset or anxious about the injections so that DS doesn't get a complex about it. I was pretty successful, having had a good sleep helped me not get too emotional. Plus he got over it as soon as I fed him straight after which makes it easier.

Asked the Doc about Calpol and was told the latest research shows the immunisations don't work as well if Calpol is given...so tepid sponging if he gets hot, and he may feed more than usual. Fingers crossed...

sunnybump that's odd how different gp/ nurses advise different things. The nurse who did DS injections told me to give him some calpol in order to help with the risks of reacting to the jabs but never said that it'll made the immunisations not as efficient!

I'm also back from the injections. He was not too bad, cried a little bit. However, two hours late I went to a mother and babies group where we can check the baby's weight and... it was terrible, he screamed so so much. I was very embarrassed, nervous, I couldn't calm him down, couldn't get him dressed, he wouldn't take the dummy, even he wouldn't feed... everyone was looking. One of the HV helped me to get him dresses and I ran home. She told me to give him some Calpol and a bath. Finally he fell asleep on he way home - guess he was very tired from all the crying and screaming.I'm also so so exhausted now, I just want to cry... It was so distressing to see him like that.
Nonetheless his weight gain is good, 500g in 2 weeks.
I'm sorry about this post I just needed to tell someone.

InmaculadaConcepcion he's feeding well, I mean his weight is ok for a premmie but BF hasn't been easy - my nipples still very sore and I'm still working on a good latch. He's also a very noise sleeper! I never thought babies could be like that, is like having a farm animal in the bedroom, he's always stretching, straining and grunting. Wind, yes. A lot wind, plus he stays long periods without dirty nappy, sometimes over a week!The GP told me it's normal for some babies to go over a week without poo, but possible because he's a premmie his digestive system is not fully developed yet. But, apart from that I love him, and now he's trying to smile... so precious!

Thank you for letting me come on board
xxx

evitas I know how you feel, DS had a very bad crisis of colics last week and was crying non stop for an hour, I was crying too as I wasn't able to help him or relief him but they are strong little things and when he smiles my heart melts!

Hi everyone, I love reading your posts when I have time but rarely seem to find the time to post myself. DD was 6 weeks yesterday and I'm starting to feel a bit human again. She still feeds every 3-4 hours, and wakes at least twice in the night () but maybe I'm just getting used to this strange new world that is motherhood.

Is anyone else getting conflicting advice from health professionals/family? All the MWs, HVs, NCT etc say to feed on demand, pick her up if she's crying, carry her around the house in a sling etc. My mum and sister, aunts etc all say you're making a rod for your back etc. I do think she's too young to be 'controlling' or 'manipulating' me, she's just a baby, but I am frustrated not knowing whether she's going to be feeding at 8am, 9am or 10am etc and with no idea how to structure my day. Anyone else want to demand feed, but, erm, on schedule? And mananged it?

fiziwizzle i know what you mean about the conflicting advice. One minute I'm happy feeding on demand with our psuedo schedule (i know whats coming, just not exact times). Now that i'm happy to BF in public, it's a lot easier. The next, i read somewhere she should be sleeping longer through the nite and someone says i'm doing stuff in the wrong order. For the most part i don't feel bad, and when i do, i remind myself that this is what works for US. I'm just slowly trying to lean her towards being able to go to sleep by herself during night hours. Daytime she rules the roost.

fiziwizzle I demand fed dd and she soon got herself into a routine. Ds is 7 weeks and I have noticed him feeding at very similar times each day now, so persevere and I am sure you will be in a routine soon. And I absolutely believe that feeding on demand is the right way to go, as is responding to cries and needing a cuddle. Surely they know what they need and when they need it better than we do? As for making a rod for your own back. Your dd will be crawling in 6 months. She won't let you carry her all day even if you want to. Far too many cupboards to explore! You sound like you are doing a fabulous job, so do what feels right for you.

stoof in a very selfish way it is good to hear you have similar issues to me. I just want to shout at her 'Do you want to be the unpopular wicked grandma? Chill out!!!'

fizi - I'm with you too. My big worry is when DD goes full time to the childminder in three weeks time. The childminder is lovely and said she will work around DD for a while but obviously at some point she will have to fit in to some sort of schedule there. I have a very, very vague routine going on at the moment but I still feed on demand (BF anyway, FF are a bit more structured but there are only two of those a day). I never leave her to cry either - or only when I have to pee/take a shower. I still can't get her to sleep in her own bed during the day.

Speaking of timings etc, DH and I are arguing over the 10.30pm feed. As part of her vague routine we wake her up for this (she usually finishes feeding by 7.30) and she then goes back to bed until anytime between 4 and 5 (I know, very lucky we are too). DH thinks it's mean to wake her up - she has only once woken of her own accord at this time. Anytime we've left her she has woken more frequently during the night. Not really sure what to do...

DH and I are both sick with a chesty cough/cold. I maintain that it's flu as I have felt like such rubbish for two days, pretty feverish and cold, DH is bravely soldiering on with his 'cold' - bit of a role reversal in our house then. I had to go to bed at 8pm last night. Just starting to feel a bit more human now and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. I can't imagine being this sick with a baby, toddler or twins!

fizi You have just totally described my weekend up north visiting my mum and sister.....
Was especially after my sister spent three days telling to leave my 6 week old daughter to cry herself to sleep then admitted she didnt do it with hers til 8 months.
Not listening to anybody any more

fizi and others like chinook says you're doing a grand job - ignore people and have faith in yourself - you really are the one(s) that know your LO (this really IS so much easier second time around, I promise!!)?. first time round with DD we were all over the place and felt like we didn't have any kind of routine etc etc? i was so sleep deprived i couldn't remember when i'd last fed, let alone which side etc? about a month in I started jotting feeds, sleeps and 'happy awake periods' down in a notebook to help me, and after a week or so I sat down with it and realised that there WAS a pattern there - she might have fed at 9 one day 10 the next day and 8.45 the day after, but there was a definite pattern to each 24 hours, within an hour or so?

after sussing that out we started with a bed time routine that fitted with her 'demand led rough routine' - initially bath, feed and sleep? for the first few weeks she would wake up 30 minutes after we put her to bed, but that time gradually increased? we also started getting up every morning as close to 7 as we could? the combination of these two things and DD getting older seemed to work and by 3 months we were into what anyone would call a routine?

the other thing that worked for us and DD (who is a slow and steady sort of a girl - even now!) was having predictability - you know the sort of thing, nappy change follows a feed, or sleep follows a bath etc? so even if things weren't happening at exactly the same, they would at least happen in the same order..

just an idea - it might help?!? and if not, just ignore me!!