FEB 2010 Valentines, pancakes and BABIES!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Here it is, then - the post natal thread for the Feb 2010 gang - let the poo/bf/nappy rash/sleeplessness/crying

OMG whatdoIdonow!! conversations commence...

I agree with everyone re CIO and routines.
I really can't see how a tiny baby can "get" the idea of being left to cry it out - possibly when they're older and have learned that there is a connection between them crying and someone giving them attention, but at this age I reckon if they're crying they need something and it's tantamount to cruelty to deny that (I may upset a few people saying that, I realise, but I feel quite strongly about it) So if your maternal instincts make you respond when your baby needs you, what's wrong with that? Nothing - you are being a loving, caring mother and no one should try and tell you different.

DD has got quite good at going down to sleep overnight now - but she usually fidgets and grumbles a bit before she gets comfortable and relaxes into sleep. But the moment she sounds like she's getting genuinely upset, I pick her up - because I can tell the difference now between genuine distress and pre-sleep fussing.

And as for the routine thing - yes, DD is settling into a rough routine. I can't set a watch by it, but a pattern is definitely emerging.

She seems to have got over the imms thing well. We had an hour yesterday afternoon when she had a big cry and couldn't be soothed even by breast-feeding (a first!) but she eventually calmed down, with the help of some massaging and rocking. The main effect of the jabs seems to be that she is dozier than usual - but still waking up to feed ok, so that's fine. We checked her temperature last night and it was slightly raised, but not enough to need any treatment, so the paracetamol drops have stayed in the bottle and this morning she seems back to normal and quite happy, fingers crossed.

All sounds very familiar, evitas! DD's latch still isn't great, but my nipples are coping and she seems to be getting enough to grow nicely and my supply seems to be ok, so I guess it can't be that bad! Can hardly believe she's been in the world for 10 weeks now... Loads of poo, mind - although the frequency of that seems to be slowing down now with just a couple of biggies per day instead of averaging over every nappy.

DD gets to meet her paternal grandfather today! My in-laws are flying out and they're lovely...

have been thinking since my last post about something someone said a few posts ago (perhaps BG?) that a bedtime routine is a good 'reset' button? i think that's right too - having a 'reset' button at the end of the day time and at the end of the night time mean you all get to start again - whatever sort of day or night you've had, and that has to be a good thing i reckon!

might not have been such a good idea taking DS for his jabs whilst DH and DD away and home alone - have just had an hour of non-stop shrieking ho hum? have finally got him settled in the sling so i can get some food and do a few chores, but i'm now pondering if i can go to bed wearing it too? ?

can't believe he's 6 weeks tomorrow - where did that go?!?

IC enjoy the inlaws - lucky thing! actually my inlaws are pretty good too!

and chinook meant to say this morning - i'm glad too, its not just me with the mother thing - though i did feel like i'd been telling tales after that post, i also felt better for telling 'someone' about it!!

right? night all! fingers crossed for some sleep...

Hello all... I have been reading your posts and have tried a couple of times to write something but can't seem to do it... you lot have been keeping me sane and alive!

I can't believe how much our lives have changed since DD's arrival just over four weeks ago. I am EXHAUSTED, had three hours last night, four the night before, that's the only kind of pattern here I'm afraid!

She is adorable and we love her but both DH and I are running around like headless chickens! Wanted to kill my dad the other day, he called to ask if I'd written a thank you letter to a friend of his who'd sent Maisie a present... WTF! ... thank you letter? I can't even have a wee without doing a balancing act with DD and the loo paper... Thank you letter? Dream on!

Also had terrible Easter with our Jack Russell who spent four days looking like death... and finally had emergency surgery on Sunday, they removed half a sponge ball (about 2 inches wide) from his intestine... and this morning he looked unwell again, was thrashing about the house trying to get his collar off to chew on his stitches, and he's back in surgery now... all this with DH going off on tour this evening - how am I going to cope?

AND DD has been on antibiotics for a week for an infected finger and it's given her such bad wind, she screams the place down for hours, projectile shits (excuse my language) and then falls asleep for a few minutes.. the only thing that soothes her is lots of cuddles and constant BFing... I don't care what the books say about routine and letting her cry it out... she's too little and the pain is just too much to bear.

Am off to see the pediatrician this afternoon to see if she's gained any weight... fingers crossed, I really hope so.

Anyway, sorry about this negative post, it's just good to have a bit of a rant! And to type with both hands (she is in the bjorn and is finally asleep!).

It's good to hear other people have similar issues with sleep, loneliness and the advice, oh the 'advice'... So much of it conflicts! Am trying my hardest to take on board the varying opinions and do what feels right, it's a minefield though. Like the doc saying yesterday to avoid calpol after the immunisations, but nhs's website says give it to reduce the temperature... In the end he was fine at night after his fractious afternoon so I didn't need to make that decision. My Aunt was telling me that her Mum, my Grandma's best bit of advice was...'Ignore it all and do your own thing'. She was fab, it's such a shame she never got to meet DS

On nappies, I'm really impressed with Morrisons own brand new baby ones. They seem to have a similar lock in core to the pampers and have survived some rigorous poo-sposions! Half the price too, (£10 for 140ish). Well done to those using re-usables, I do have guilt pangs when I see the bin full to bursting on collection day but I'm glad I didn't give myself more to do from the start, I feel like I'm only just keeping on top of things as it is.

It's sunny here after some nasty wintry days so I'm going to take a walk with the pram and get some air.

Nice to hear from you Abs, good luck with the weigh in and the canine surgery. Rant away, better out than in

PS took me so long to write my message with the interruptions that yours wasn't there when I started 2 hours ago!

DS seems better today. I also didn't give him Calpol because his temperature was never above 37.

We are also trying to get routine, but it really various according on how much he sleeps during the night. During the day he feeds every 3/4 hours. We also give him a bath around 10.pm, feed him, turn off the lights, put some music and cuddle him till he relaxes, and then put him on his bed, but we need to work a little bit more and teach him to fall asleep by himself.

xxx

flyingcloud we do a 10:30 p.m feed here - I aim to dream feed but DS often semi-wakes. I think it's quite a widely recognised practice. Does DH do night duties? He can't really complain if not as it is you who pays in the night without a late feed!!
Fizi I kind of demand feed but within a semi-structured 3 hour routine: I don't let DS sleep for more than 2 hours at a time - unless an activity with DS1 requires it; I feed roughly every three hours and do wake him if he reaches 3.5hours - he usually wakes himself before though. This gives me a good idea of how to plan my day but is based from the night feed which he dictates so varies slightly each day. I would say beware of feeding each time he cries though - DS2 does the same cue for feeding and sleeping and if I wasn't using a dummy I would ptobably be feeding almost non-stop. If your baby is a good weight I believe they should go w2.5-3 hours between each feed. If more frequently, they may be snacking.

Oh yes, and welcome evitas.

Think it is watercress who is a pharmacist who can tell us the truth about calpol and imms, but feel fairly sure-in an uneducated kind of way-that pain relief has nothing to do with the creation-or otherwise- of antibodies so guessing that gp was talking rubbish.

Having terrible time with reflux and DS2 gagging/retching after feeds and struggling to breathe. Have new medicine to try from gp, who is very supportive, but feel truly terrified and helpless everytime it happens as I know babies can stop breathing with it. I don't feel I can leave him with anyone but DH either as it is such a responsibility for other people. It's affecting our sleep too which doesn't help me trying to stay rational about it.

Thanks everyone for your words of support. I do know that we're doing the right thing by picking up DD when she cries, but it is hard when everyone says in chorus "rod for your back!" and even DP wants to leave her to cry so that we can eat our dinner a deux instead of a trois . I've decided we'll make more of an effort to have a bedtime ritual from now on, with daytime sleeps downstairs and nighttime sleeps upstairs. Right now it's all rather chaotic.

Welcome back Abs, it is such a shock isn't it? LOL at you balancing your DD and the loo paper, reminds me of me . Sounds like you are having a really tough time of it with the dog and the antibi's. How long is your DH on tour for? Do you have help from family etc? I really hadn't appreciated how important it would be to have a support system.

Here here about typing two handed! DP is on baby duty right now .

FC I would go with the 10.30 dream feed - it's not mean - I bet she loves the lovely nursing . My DD can't get enough of it and would feed any time. And you are so lucky that she then goes through to 4 or 5. I dread the 3am feed every night .

My first post-natal class tomorrow; I'm looking forward to it but it means an early start ('early' in terms of running on baby time). I still can't get over how long it takes to get ready and out of the house in the morning.

Back again for second time today - must be a miracle! I didn't actually mention how I heartily agree about picking up the baby when it cries. It's been one of the hardest things to get used to having number two child that sadly he does have to cry from time to time -when DS1 is weeing on the carpet on purpose; when DS1 is high up on a climbing frame etc... I always try to be fair but it often comes down to a safety issue and the fact that DS2 won't remember that I occasionally had to let himcry for a couple of mins. Having said that, DS1 was at the child minder today so DS2 and I engaged in lots of 1:1 gazing and smiling sessions.

We're back from our visits and I seem to have spent ages catching up on your posts.

I'm another one who can't leave baby to cry. I just think it's mean. I know someone who did the 'contented little baby' thing though and left her baby to cry in the night, her baby slept through from eight weeks. I couldn't do it though. I think that if she wants feeding I'll just feed her, she'll not need me like this for long really.

We have no real routine at all. I keep thinking I'll try and implement one, but then I'm too tired. We're trying to put her to bed before us on a night this week, but she just keeps waking up and one of us ends up sitting with her on and off until we go to bed, so there doesn't seem to be any benefit to it. That said the batteries have been replaced in her slumber bear and she's been in bed on her own for half an hour now, thats a record for this week .

I got a shock when we got home on monday. I put her in her moses basket (she was in a travel cot while we were away) and she nearly fills it up, there's only a couple of inches at the top. I felt like crying, my baby's turning into a big girl and I don't like it . Why can't they stay little for longer?

When DH is home on a morning we've started fighting to get to the moses basket first to get the big gummy grins from her, sometimes I cheat by keeping her in bed with me after her early morning feed .

Oh and the advice, I've had a week of constant advice, it's good to be home and cut myself off from that for a while (although it is fun to frighten elderly relatives by telling them all about baby-led-weaning!).

I think any phrase which includes the words "rod" and "back" should be banned when it comes to babycare!

Abs what does your DH do? My DH used to be a tour manager (on a very small scale, UK only) and I have another friend who was a roadie for U2 for years plus other music stuff (has some great stories to tell) - or is it some other type of tour? We're just getting out of the stage when I can't put DD down, which, although I love cuddling her, makes life a lot easier. I know where you are, though! Sorry your dog's eating habits are making life more stressful...hope he gets better soon.

AC wow, growing out of the Moses basket! Because your DD was a real tiny, wasn't she? Mind you, won't be long until my LO has doubled her birth weight, which seems incredible..!

Well, the in-laws are here and are suitably enchanted with DD - first time her granddad's met her and he melted, it was really sweet. My MIL owns and runs a nursery, but she's been great about NOT trying to tell me how to look after DD, which makes life more harmonious! Haven't seen whether talk of BLW would scare them, though (!)

Ah, looks like DD's nodded off, so I'll go and be sociable in the next room for a bit.

Cheers all!

DS is back to feed every 4 hours at night! After 5 days of skipping a bottles and staying without a feed for more than 5h, I thought we were on our way for long sleepy night1

Nevermind, it will happen at some point

We have a routine at night which is that DS goes to bed around 6.30pm, but he doesn't have any specified rest time in his cot during the day. I must do it but can't seem to guess when to put him down to bed.

OMG, at the risk of sounding inconsiderate, we seem to now have a nightime routine. For 3 days she is put down at 10 (when she seems sleepy), it takes till 11 at the mo till she goes to sleep, but she does it without needing picking up. She had then been sleeping through to 2:30-3:30, so last nite gave her an extra feed about 9:30 and she slept till 4:30, so 7hours between feeds. Fingers crossed that she goes to sleep sooner and carries on sleeping for longer. Though it just amazing to get 4 hours in one go. DH has her 6-8 and gets her dressed, then she comes into bed with me for another hours sleep. Then finally, i'm prepared to face the day. I hear of other mums getting up early, but i refuse until at least 7hours sleep has been obtained. I know it sounds alot, but i honestly can't function otherwise, i've always needed alot sleep. My biggest problem is that it still takes me an hour to get to sleep, even though i'm tired. I always hoped that having a baby would magically change my sleeping issues oh well......

Was wondering where people put their LO's to sleep during the day and also where people have LO sleeping in another room at nite, do you use monitors. My worry is if her breathing/grunting is waking/keeping me awake, then would i hear it on the monitor as well. However, if i didn't have a monitor then would i not hear her until she really hungry and awake. A long winded way of asking for peoples experiences.

Sorry for the selfish sounding post

Climber during the day, DS sleep in his moses basket (but it'll change soon as he's getting too big for it), bouncer or playmat and at night in his cot. The cot is on his own bedroom, which is next door to mine therefore I don't need a monitor. DS is a noisy sleeper so I'm quite happy not to have a monitor in order to have a bit of quietness while he falls asleep.

Climber - what's this daytime sleep you speak of? DD usually sleeps while out in the pushchair or at home in the pushchair. Mostly it's in our arms. Yesterday she slept in her bouncy chair for the first time and the other day she fell asleep in my arms so I put her down on her playmat as it was the closest baby-friendly surface to hand and she stayed asleep there for a while.

DH sometimes puts her in the baby bjorn.

She has never gone to sleep in her cot or moses basket during the day. And if I put her to sleep there she usually wakes up within ten minutes.

At night she sleeps in her cot, in her own room. I have a monitor even though I usually hear her first (the monitor needs a a sound to activate iyswim). I do have the monitor turned down low so DH doesn't have to wake up but I can see the lights flashing(if he's snoring loudly and I think I won't hear her). I am finding it harder and harder to get to sleep and fall back to sleep after night wakings so it helps to have it turned right down so that I don't hear every little squeak - she makes lots of baby bird noises after a good feed when she is falling asleep.

flyingcloud I admit she doesn't sleep at home much during the day, but when she does, I find myself all decisive... living room or bedroom

oh yes the advice....My mum asked me if it wasn;t about time to start dd2 on solids...at 9 weeks!?

Hello all, I've been doing a lot of reading but not much posting!

Re. paracetamol and immunisations, don't worry about it. It'a absolutely fine and won't harm either the baby or their response to the injections. I'm not a huge fan of giving it prophylactically (ie. ahead of the injections just in case), but that's just a personal thing.

We have a vague routine here, in that DD2 goes to bed at the same time as DD1 in the evening (around 7:30pm). This just kind of happened when she was two weeks old - she was downstairs with me and DH after DD1 had gone to bed and I noticed that she would feed and then sleep for a prolonged strecth at that point, so I started putting her upstairs instead. Now she regularly sleeps from that time until 3:30am or so, then feeds and goes back down until 6:30-7am. I know, we're very lucky.

During the day she feeds every two and a half to three hours, and has 3-4oz each time - not as much as it says on the side of the pack, but DD1 never managed that amount either (and I'm sure the manufacturers just say too much to make you buy more!). Her sleeps are dictated by when we're out and about as she generally falls asleep in the car, pushchair or sling. So no massive pattern there.

She is now in her own room as well. When the BF dried up at three weeks, I figured that if I had to go downstairs to do a bottle, I may as well go and do it in her room. She has settled well in there and it does make things easier when DH and I go to bed as we like to read and chat before going to sleep. During the evening we use a monitor, but once we're upstairs too, we don't bother. Her room is next to ours and I do hear her (though I did have a trauma that I wouldn't at the start). I'm not a huge fan of leaving them to cry.

Had a lovely day yesterday. Went to a farm (Chinook, it's the one between you and me) with both the DDs (though I do wish people would stop expressing quite so much surprise that I go out and about all the time with the two - what do they expect me to do, sit at home all the time?). They were both really good and the weather was fab!

a-ha watercress my cosmic twin? I realised today that you really must have got all the brains on our birthday! Had another 'oh blimey what am i going to wear' panic today when i realised that my outfit of cutoffs, t-shirt and flipflops that has seen me through the last 9 months is just not going to cut it for a UK May? SO, having tried all my pre-preg jeans on and being unable to get them past my suddenly tree-trunk like thighs, I stuck DS in the sling and headed for the shops?.

as i squeezed into the 'designed for size zero' changing room I realised i hadn't thought the logistics through very well?.. by myself with a sleeping DS in sling i did actually manage NOT to rupture myself taking off cut-offs, putting on tree-trunk coverings, taking off tree-trunk coverings, putting on cut-offs?. without waking him up!! Almost lost it when my phone dropped out of my pocket and i had to get down to the floor to pick it up! AND it only took me 20 minutes!!

oo? sorry, just wanted to share - am feeling VERY fizzy-buzzy and whilst i should be going to bed and making the most of DS being asleep, i'm just too excited!

been busy sorting stuff out whilst home-alone this week and it's really starting to feel like we're almost there now! 5 weeks today and we should be mid-air between Auckland and Singapore?

just spoken to DD and DH - last day of their hols and home tomorrow afternoon - really, really missed them both and can't wait to have them back, though the house HAS been lovely and quiet for the last few days (AND tidy!!!!)

should hopefully get DS's passport back in the next few days - it's cost over £100!!! will feel happier once it's here, cos even tho we've left more than double the processing time they state, you just never know!

still shed loads to do, but DH finishes work 2 weeks today, so hopefully will be able to really crack on with stuff the first week he's off (cars to sell etc etc etc!)

right, am off to think calming thoughts and go to bed!

oh, and climber we still use a monitor with DD (3)!! we're going to get a second one for DS when he moves out of our room? DD still wakes most nights (now it's to get up for a wee or if she's had a bad dream)? i feel happier knowing i can definitely hear her so sleep more soundly i think? dunno at what point i'll finally manage to not use it? maybe when she gets to 18!!!! and DS mostly has his daytime naps in the travel cot he's currently sleeping in (outgrew his basket last week), or in the sling if we're out and about or he's particularly fractious and won't go down in the cot even though he needs to? with DD tho, who only ever napped for 20 mins twice a day, the only place she'd do it was in her pushchair! At nursery they had a load of quad buggies they used for taking the babies out for sleeps, so i guess it must be quite a common place for naps! (in fact, one of my mates DD would only sleep in her pushchair at night too for a while? they used to carry it up to her bedroom for her to sleep in it!!!)

What a terrible night
Yesterday DS started to cry after a few minutes of feeding. He was coming out of the breast, getting red, crying and very agitated. He was also burping a lot. During the night he was very noise (grunting) and also very agitated,: he was moving legs and arms, arching his back. At 2.30 am, after 2 hours of good sleep, he started to be agitated. I gave him the dummy and he managed to relaxed a bit more but still making noises and moving his body. I fed him at 4am, put him to sleep at 4.30am and he was calm. 5am, again. I hold him and he burped, I thought he was uncomfortable because of wind, put him again to sleep and 30 minutes later the same thing. Again, I hold him up, another burp and bottom wind and he started to cry. I took him to my bed and put him to sleep on my chest. He slept till 8.30, although he was still agitated he was much better.
DH thinks we need to move DS to his own room, because we can't sleep with all the noise and movement, but I'm not sure if that's fair, I think DS is genuinely uncomfortable with something
Need some sleep now...

Hope you all have a good day
xxx

Thanks for the advice re: paracetamol Watercress, glad you're getting out and about.

Stoof you sound so excited, lovely to hear about your plans to come home. Whereabouts in the UK will you be moving to?

Evitas I so know what you mean about the wind and it's awful to see them so uncomfortable with it. After the 5.20am feed he had awful wind and although I kept trying to burp him he couldn't get it up. It took a few hours of squirming, bicycle legs, cuddling and reassurance to get him to fart it out by which time DH was up for work. I'm trying to figure out if it's something in my diet...

But...DS slept 10ish til 4.20am, then went for another hour with a wee pat from me. This is a fantastic surprise! So even though we had wind awakenings from 5ish that firstbit of the night is definitely getting longer, whoooo! I think it's too early to keep expecting this here, but all our little ones seem to be sleeping longer as they get bigger. I can almost feel the fog lifting!

We went to the library yesterday, not that DS noticed at 8 weeks old, and managed to discretely breastfeed in a quiet corner. This was a bit of a milestone for me feeding in public, so I'm feeling quite chuffed.

Off to get some fresh air...

My commiserations evitas, we had a bad night too and my DP suggested moving DD to her own room. I guess it's worse for him as he knows he has to get up and go to work, whereas I was thinking I could just not go to my BF group and stay in bed all day. She quieted down in the end though and we didn't move her. I think at 6 weeks she's too little to be on her own.

LOL at stoof and your changing room shenanigans. DP and I always say "Oh we'll just take her in her sling to x" and then when we get there realise we can't put her down to sleep, or anything. Never learn!

I'm so glad I did get up and out today instead of catching up on sleep, as it's been GLORIOUS! A real taste of summer, let alone spring! And I'm having a few baby-free hours this afternoon courtesy of my lovely sister. It's so nice just to sit and file my nails, and know that I'll be able to finish the job .

I also went shopping for an outfit that I could wear to a wedding and breasfeed in. Kept picking up dresses and skirts that I'd have fitted about 10 months ago and trying them on . Needless to say I came home empty handed.

Also LOL at stoof at the changing room. We've had plenty of toast crumbs on LO's head as i have my breakfast, and sugar from the coffee shops. Luckily it looks like dry skin so DH doesn't seem to notice.

Picked DH up after work and we all went for a walk round the lake, it was BLISS. Of course, we're now behing on the chores, but it was worth it