May Toddlers - still toddling along!

[helsy]

Oi! Over 'ere!

I'm using my sick leave well and have just booked a holiday in Oban - we're going to see Balamory and sea eagles, hopefully.

I'm off to John Lewis to get DS some of his very own Doodles - he's wearing DD's at the moment but I think they're going to be his main shoes for the next couple of months so would like him to have his own brand new ones.
Have to go and vote as well - our LibDem MP sadly died of breast cancer shortly after the election and so our letterbox has been subjected to 2 weeks of PAPER full of rudery, backstabbing, accusations, denials, poor spelling and punctuation (oooh I'm so hard to please!). Can't wait until it's over.....

I'm back - after practically kidnapping the BT man until another engineer arrived with the modem and filter that he should have had, but didn't. He tried to tell me that another would be sent in the post - at which I snarled and called dh's office (the line is in their name) and got them to call the BT service team, who called him 2 minutes later to tell him he had to sort it now. He told me that dh was obviously someone important for Bt to agree to sort it out so quickly and I was very good and bit back the impulse to tell him that that sort of professional service was commonplace in the civilised world of London town.

I keep on realising that I really am in the country now - the local vicar opened the village Feast on Sunday referring to Thursdays bombs and said " although London is far from here" - I almost sobbed- I still think of myself as a Londoner, especially with dh commutting daily, and wanted to yell "Only 1 1/4 hours on a direct line to the centre of the City". Though they would probably have thought I was referring to Cambridge City

But forgive my self indulgent moaning. It really is lovely here - as I'm hoping many of you will see. Most boxes are unpacked, washing machine has finally arrived and now I've got internet access I can start buying stuff. (never purchase anything without checking Kelkoo as per Georgina). Dd and Ds both love the new house. I spend all my time trying to stop ds from eating the gravel, or climbing up the slide on dd's bed - he crawls up, then lets go and slides down on his tummy feet first with a huge grin on his face. But he can't seem to understand why it's dangerous for him to be on a 2 foot square platform 4 feet high!

Ds is walking quite competently now - can manage a good 10ft before sitting down, but is still inordinately proud of himself every time he stands up. And he's eating using a spoon without assitance as well, though I do have to make sticky foods to ensure it doesn't all end up on the floor. Still no recognisable words - though some of his repeated sounds do have recognisable, if mulitiple, meanings. He's mastered going up and down the stairs and is desperately trying to grow the extra inch that will allo him to open door handles - little dos he know that by the time he does cruel mummy will have moved them all higher

I will get a meet up e-mail out tonight or tomorrow. Off now to weed my garden!

Prufrock, there are so many intersting places in Cambridge - if you fancy it we (immediate Cambridge mob) can go along to see some Shakespeare in one of the college grounds - there is also Grantchester (not far away from you at all) and it is blissful there - have you got a bike? Get one! Cambridge is easy to get around with one.

When I finally head back I will be sorting my bike out with seat and helmet for DS - my poor old dutch style bike (new but oddly old fashioned) has been badly neglected and I can't wait to be saving travel money and exercise at the same time. Tis a beautiful beast my bike.

I know you will love Cambridge - we will go out and show you some great stuff - you also live in a nice part of the town!

Loads of news to catch up on from you lot. Tried to log on last night but for some reason couldn't get a connection. DH away too so might have had more time but doubt it by the time I had done all the chores. I sometimes wonder if I am inefficient because if I manage to keep on top of things I am permanently busy.

Helsy in answer to your question - DD goes outside everyday and gets at least one outfit completely grubby. And then there are the food stains also. Mind you DS had been "gardening" at nursery today and was competing in the filthiness stakes.

Shopping £51 - got a £5 discount voucher so bought DH some beer for nothing, effectively. Wonder if I'm a bit short on fruit though.

Bozza - I'm the same. DH was away last night and tonight and I've had fresh pasta and sauce both nights because it only takes 5 minutes. By the time I've put the children to bed, tidied, done the washing up (dishwasher broken), got stuff ready for the next day, cleared under highchair it's never before 8.30/9ish. I do the washing during the day and the ironing on Sunday lunchtime. Our house only ever looks "passable" but I really don't feel I could bear to spend any more time on it and DH only does the mundane stuff if I point it out to him although he does cook.

Rubbish trip to John Lewis yesterday - no Doodles in DS's hoof size....and DD burnt 2 of her fingers on a halogen bulb in the lighting department. First aider had to be summoned to apply an ice pack, but she's got 2 huge blisters and has burst one already . She was very very brave and I even let her get away with "C Beebies will make my poorly fingers better"

had a nice day out with local mums and babies, only managed to go and get one of the may babies knees scuffed. i was walking her along a path and thinking she was as stable as dd, when she fell onto one knee. it bled!! i feel very very guilty. her mum said 'oh dear, your first graze'. gulp. sorry sorry sorry

apart from that, nice picnic, nice walk, very warm again, but not as bad as yesterday and tomorrow mil is taking dd to the zoo and then having her for the night. even bigger GULP

Oh Judd poor dd sounds a bit nasty. Egypt wouldn't worry about the little one too much would have thought it was pretty inevitable at this age really.

Had a baaaad day. Had friends and children round for hairdressing this morning. DD was totally clingy. Her worst time of day, for some bizarre reason is mid morning - 9 -11 kind of time. So couldn't do anything with her while I was trying to serve drinks to everyone and get my hair coloured and cut. Eg was standing at the sink having the colour rinsed off and she is grabbing my knees and standing on my/hairdresser's feet repeatedly. Now this alone I can cope with. But then went upstairs and found that DS and his friend had totally trashed his room and also gone into DD's room and broken one of her toys (its an Oxfam children of the world wooden roundabout thingie). They had pulled all the books off the shelves, emptied out the teaset basket, emptied out all the small cars basket, got a load of things out of the toy box, totally pulled all the lego pirate ship to pieces and scattered it all over the room, ditto lego police boat, smaller pirate boats, and totally dismantled playmobil airport, bus, bin lorry, luggage trolley, motor bikes, tanker etc into smaller pieces than they even came in. They've managed to break the feet of a playmobil figure, gouged a lump out of his bed and I could go on.... So its taken me all afternoon to tidy it up. Apart from an hour when I walked DS to the doctor about his hay fever. Got home, and got all the things out of the pushchair to go into the house (steps at front door) so was juggling hats, drink bottles, door keys and prescription and managed to drop the bottle of medicine which broke in the paper bag and I ended up covered in the stuff and had drips off it all the way up the hall and across the kitchen. So had to wait for DH to come home and then drive back down with the evidence, persuade the receptionist to get the doctor to sign a repeat presciption and then go to the chemist to get it. Aaaah!!!! DS's stuff still not sorted totally. Am really thinking about starting an extra thread about him although in typical doting mother fashion I think it was more his friend to blame this time. Was annoyed with my friend also for not checking on them while I was getting my hair done.

Noooooo! Friday the 15th? Should be Friday the 13th. Broken bottles, scuffs, scolds, no shoes, room trashing. I hope things take a turn for the better tomorrow. I also thought today's BB eviction was a tad harsh. Anyone with any good news? [drums fingers impatiently]

Not much to report here, either bad or good.

I have good news also Ponka. Was too busy ranting to post it. I have found DD's much loved miniature leather Barcelona football which I thought was gone forever but was actually lurking in the bottom of the puschair.

DD has a passion for balls.....

hope you're having a better day today bozza. did you start another thread? i, like you, would say it was his friend to blame. peer pressure and all that. I am sure he knew it was wrong but just thought...... maybe....

mil has taken dd for a walk, then after lunch they are off to the zoo. followed by the big sleep over. dh and i cant decide what to do for the afternoon/evening. hmmm. curry? cinema? pub? despite quite looking forward to the day off i am kind of worried. always am. but dd is so clingy today and has a cold too, which makes her grumpy and mil isnt much comfort to her at the best of times. bless

Ooh, Bozza. How old is DS? Dd2 is 5 and if she plays with a friend her room is often trashed, with everything pulled off the shelves and things broken. She often plays with Dd2's things too and doesn't put them away. We always tell her off - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Threatening to bin the things she's not put away often works.

Got a party now. Five year old boy. Apparently they've got a bouncy castle. Good, that guarantees a vomitting child on the way home then.

Just gave Dd2 the same as us for lunch - part of my "stop being a scaredy cat and giving her jars all the time" campaign - and she hated it. Cheese omelette, broccoli and new potatoes (money saving campaign - eat what's in the fridge. Tonight it's stuffed mushrooms). Wouldn't touch it, threw the omelette pieces across the room. Mind you, DH was close to doing that too .

We had Dd2's review meeting at nursery yesterday and raised the issue of them not commmunicating with us - when I take her in in the morning I virtually have to throw her at a nursery nurse before one of them will come near us, and when I pick her up I have to read a chart to see how she's eaten, pooed and slept, and look at a board on the wall to see what activities she's engaged in. Not good enough, and not half as good as when dd1 went to the same place 5 years ago. So we mentioned it after ten minutes of very bland reporting from the nursery nurse. I had said that if she used the word "fine" in relation to dd2's development I wouldn't be responsible for my actions. Anyway, DH mentioned it as he has experience in this area, and the NN said she was really glad we mentioned it because she didn't understand why they weren't expected to interact with the parents more. She then told us lots of things about dd2 that were really nice to hear but which noone had ever mentioned before - she settles to sleep really well, loves music (we knew that), is one of the "stronger" babies in terms of personality, etc. So NN is going to mention it to her managers and so are we, and hopefully it will get better.

Got to go - got a SuperSoaker to wrap.

Bozza - I really sympathise. We are having a Saturday in which DS is fab and gorgeous and DD is DEFINITELY NOT the fruit of our loins! I know she is very very tired, hasn't slept well coz of the heat and I don't do heavy punishments if I know the cause is out of her hands....but she pushed DS over on concrete which could not go un time-outed. Poor poor boy. She has also (coz tired and therefore unable to settle to anything except TV) been CRAP at playing alone, even with paddling pool, hammock, tunnel, slide and sandpit outside.
She also fiddles so much with our stuff and breaks it on occasions that I hand her stuff specifically to fiddle with if I leave her for a while. Can't comment on peer pressure as she is proving to be late in interaction and only ever plays with me, even at other peoples' houses. DS, thankfully, is seeming to be as bold as brass and enjoy others' company as well as mine. However, today has seemed like a long fraught day, especially as it's DH's 30th birthday tomorrow and we are having a BBQ for 12 people tonight so need well rid of children by 7.30!
Hope I don't seem horribly critical of DD, she is adorable and fab.....just today she has been very very high maintenance. Can't start thread because I am blocked (own choice) from rest of MN, so I apologise for hijack, just needed to unburden. Oh yes, and please don't have nightmares about 3.5 year olds!!!!

Thanks for the sympathy etc - it really does help. Helsy DS is 4.5. When he was younger he used to do this with his friend and I used to make sure that anything with smaller pieces that would take too much putting back together or too fragile was put out of the way. I thought we had got past that stage but was obviously wrong....

Judd hope you managed to get the children off to bed alright and had a good evening. Happy birthday to DH. Don't feel bad about what you posted - you might as well be honest when DD is going through a high maintenance stage.

Egypt hope MIL returned DD safe and happy and you enjoyed your child-free evening. I have the opposite problem - was hoping my MIL would offer to have DD while DS has his op (my Mum is on holiday) but nothing doing yet. Don't know what it is about DD.

Had a busy day yesterday - garden centre to buy FIL a plant, swimming lesson, nursery open day and then FIL's birthday bbq.

And today was busy and hot. Not helped greatly by DH playing golf this morning and then doing his best to watch it all afternoon/evening. Grrr...

But I am feeling calmer and not so stressed. Helsy when DD has a friend over how much freedom do you give them/how often do you check on them?

ARGH!

Ds1 is ill (and will probably miss all his last week ever in nursery activities - boo hoo ) and this day is already hellishly long.

Ds2 is managing to find ALL the "wind-up-ds1" buttons - he's hit him, turned the tv off on him, stood in the way... am sick of the phrase "MUUUUUUUUUM, ds2 IS DOING X...."

oh dear georgina. sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it today. i would pop over - but you just arent close enough! NONE OF YOU!!!!! wish you were.

bozza, dd was fine with mil. slept from 7-7.45. why she wouldnt go down last night until 930 is beyond me. at least she woke at 9am. dh was the problem. what would you feel like if you intended on having a nice weekend with dh whilst dd was away and he goes and gets drunk the moment she is handed BACK to you, sleeps all the way home from picking her up, sleeps for 4 hours on the sofa WHEN you get home, whilst i try and give dd her dinner, bath and bottle, then bed - which she wont go to until 930???????????????? he was an ARSE yesterday and knows it. poor dd couldnt understand why daddy was lying on the sofa snoring his head off and not moving. she was very concerned by the look on her face and wouldnt be left alone in the room with him so that i could make her tea. i was soooooooooooo angry.

i ended taking dd round to the neighbours (who had invited us in for a drink and a game of cards) hmph, at 7 when she was no way in the mood for bed. had a couple of vodka and oranges to calm myself then came home.

aaaanyway. when he finally woke, sobered up, we watched Dear Frankie, which is a lovely film btw. i didnt speak to him all evening but he didnt realise until i told him i was going to bed, at 11. a very sheepish dh this morning.

Hello. We have a playroom! Well, playroom - study - spare room . We bought some of those storage units from IKEA that look like stpes with brightly coloured boxes that fit in to them - and hey presto no more toys all over the floor!

Bozza, DD1 is 5 and a half and she is currently playing with small friend in her room. I'm on the computer, also upstairs, but if I were downstairs I would be up every ten minutes or so to check. Friends are told clearly that they must only go in dd1's bedroom or the toilet if they are upstairs. Dd1 knows where is out of bounds (our room, drawers, etc) but other children may not be so aware. Dd2's friend is currently in handcuffs -apparently he is a robber . I have checked that they are easily removable.
Dd1 has learnt a new trick - she crawls under the dining room table knowing that dd2 will follow her, then when dd2 is behind her dd1 crawls out and puts a chair under the table, trapping dd2 underneath. Cue screams from dd2 and innocent looks from dd1 "she did it herself"/"she asked me to do it".
Got to go - tea to make.
Egypt sympathies about DH - presumably that was a one-off?
Georgina, know what you mean about wind-ups. Dd2 is learning fast.

hopefully it was a one off. although, he has apologised, i dont think he sees it like i do

i want a spare room/playroom/study.

Feeling a bit exasperated today ... PLEASE has any of the rest of you with two found any coping strategies?

Up until recently, they've got on really well, and I'm not 100% sure what's changed except I think ds2 is being a bit more cunning about winding ds1 up.

Ds2 (because he's younger, and also harder to discipline) is getting away with far more than what ds1 is allowed to do. For example: hiting, biting, etc... of course I would read the riot act to ds1 if he did that to his younger brother, but it's much harder with ds2 as a 14mth old has limited understanding, is too young for timeout, sticker charts etc. It feels an unfair balance but I'm not sure how to redress that unbalance.

On the flip side of the coin, ds1's whining (admittedly, he's ill at the moment so it's worse) is driving me COMPLETELY INSANE! How to get him to deal with things with his brother rather than involve me all the time?! Okay, now I know his arsenal is limited (see above) but he can move ds2 away from the tv and switch the tv on again just as well as me, can find an alternative toy for ds2 to play with etc, etc. He needs to learn some coping strategies for himself as well, doesn't he?! Of course, I'm prepared to intervene when it gets too much, but I don't think I'm doing him any favours by being a permanent referree, am I?

I've tried a bit of the divide and conquer strategy - if they can't play together nicely, then ds1 can play upstairs away from ds2 - but then it feels like ds1 is getting "punished" for ds2's misbehaviour - I can't, of course, at this age put ds2 somewhere on his own to play - he needs supervision.

ssssssccccccccrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmm

Hmm... that came out longer than expected. May well post that on a separate thread too.

Sorry to hear others having shitty day/time too. This gets easier again soon, yes?!

Oh Georgina, I;ve actually asked DH to unblock me from the rest of MN so that I can post a thread about DD1 and her limpet-like behaviour which leaves both of mine getting only partial attention as I try and share myself around and leaves me feeling worn out and resentful.
I keep hoping that at around 18months for the younger ones there will be more of a convergence on play - things like play doh, dressing up, Happy Land etc. will be more within the realms of possibility albeit on different levels.
Could it be that DS1 is involving you so that he can register with you each time (in his eyes) DS2 is "naughty" whereas he is the long-suffering one? DD1 also complains that DS is infront of the TV, grabbing her toes, switching off the video. I usually do intervene because she is a year younger than your DS1 and if I don't she is quite happy to just shove him over.
We have also had a problem with copying. If DS is spitting food out or dropping it and I say ="No" but in a kindly-talking to a baby- way, DD will immediately do the same and expect the same response even though she knows darned well it is wrong.
Sometimes I've managed to tell DD that if she sits really still and ignores DS, he will get bored and go away. He normally does and then I have to be on hand to have a big-girl high five type moment as we snigger conspiratorially about fooling little brother.
Sure this won't be of much help, but wanted to let you know that we have pain-in-the-arsedness here too..... And I'll now have a big glug of wine in sympathy.

Judd, I've sat here nodding my head to all of that. Thanks, although not quite the solution I was hoping, it is reassuring to know that I'm not the only one and it's not just due to some incredibly crap parenting on my part.

Ended up screaming at ds1, ds2 AND dh this evening which wasn't particularly pleasant and I'm not particularly proud of myself.