DEC 08 - Barely into toddlerhood and already at our tit's end

[MomOrMum]

Tit's end...had to be done.

Hope this works!

Daisy - kids sometimes make it better, don't they

JJ - we do the same in fact at about 7-730 when ds starts crying he really only wants out of his cot, so I make sure the stair gate is shut (well it's self closing for dh so should be) then just plonk him on the ground and I hop back into bed for a bit i'm still really dozing half awake, as I can here him playing with his toys (and various other things like the shower screen door) but it gives me a chance to wake up slowly knowing he can't fall down the stairs!

"here"??? Strewth, rather "hear"

Just seen your news Daisy. I am so sorry for you and your DH. Thinking of you all. xxx

thanks for the Canberra advice Rubes and Veg. It doesn't sound that enticing which is sad as that's where the obvious job opportunities are for both DH and I. But as I said it's just a fantasy really, I have no family ties to keep me here but DH does.

I can highly recommend Cat in the Hat at the Young Vic to all Londoners with 2-5 year olds. It was super. And only 35 mins long which is nice. DD loved it and I have to say I did too.

Daisy you've had loads of good suggestions but I'll throw one more in that we use for siblings of children with cancer it's called waterbugs & dragonflies and it uses the analogy of waterbugs turning into dragonflies which means that they go out of the water and cannot come down again into the water but are still there flying around above the water. It's more of a story than that but you get the drift. Very cute and sweet about the Nemo thing.

Aub Sorry about the Canberra thing, it's still may be worth it just for a change for a few years. Also i can't stop thinking about the margaritas, mojitos and red wine, you itemised my old drinks bill, though occasionlly with a Martini thrown in.

Ooh, Aubi, excited about the cat in the hat recommendations - we have tickets for DD to see this next week with her cousins. Sadly I think its DH who is going to get to go. Which seems a bit unfair as I'm the one who grew up with Dr Suess.

daisy - so sorry to hear your news. thinking lots about you all. hope you can all grieve in your own ways, and that you take care of yourselves and each other in these next few days and weeks. the MNetter's glove and hand analogy had me weeping buckets. lots of love x

daisy so sorry. I really pray that you and dh can be there for each other as you grieve in your own ways. And Bless your dd - she will keep you strong - as will ds. I agree with JJ that it's important that she is told it's forever, so there's no confusion later about whether she's coming back. Thinking of you all.
Thank you effie for thinking of Lucy for that book - I will get us a copy
Lucy has actually been delightful today and came skipping out of school singing "I'm so happy I'm so happy" having been awarded a merit badge, the 'cup of the week' and a certificate for "superb attitude, effort and attainment all round" Very proud mummy here! Just so nice to see her happy and pleased with herself.
Sorry about all the continued ills - sounds like there are some really nasty bugs around .
P slept through last night from 6.30 till 6am. I woke loads of times and kept being amazed that she hadn't been awake! However tonight she has already been awake twice for a good old yell
Re BF - I've been thinking about how long I'll carry on for too, but have no reason to stop, so I just think I'll carry on for now. Only really morning and night, then a few extras on weekends and my day off, but she never feeds for long, so I guess she might decide for herself when she's had enough. I have wondered about my increased dose of meds and the effect on her, as they are not really for use with BF. In the early days they weighed up the risks of drugs and BF against the risk of very depressed mummy, and decided it was best to have them, but now my dose is pretty high and I'm not sure whether the consultant knows I'm still BFing, so it's been playing on my mind a bit. Did that make sense? Think I'm rambling
LadyT it sounds as though you are starting to feel quite positive about dc2, which is lovely to hear. I'm sure there'll be ups and downs along the way through pregnancy and beyond (sorry to sound like Buzz Lightyear) but I know this little one will be as wonderful and precious and loved as dear little O.
Right I ought to turn off this computer and communicate with my husband!
xxx

Daisy very sorry to hear your news. Look after yourself and DH, I don't have any advice on top of all the wonderful advice that's been offered already, but thinking of you and your family.

Trace the BFN has a specialist phone help person who deals with drugs & BFing. I'll see if I can find the number for you. I'm not sure if it's online but I can ask on my little network thingy.

Trace go to this link www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/drugs-in-breastmilk there is a phone number or a link to an email address. They say to provide as much info as possible in the email so they can help. They are big on longterm feeding so will do their best to help.

Oh crying little person gotta go

Oh sorry that's not come up as a link try this link

DH on phone to his brother, and they are remembering their mum and having a laugh

but trace fab news on P's sleeping and on l's achievements at school. Long may it continue for you on all fronts. Even if P is being a bit of a madam this evening already

Oh and effie the glove/hand thing was lovely. I had a little chat with DD while we were getting ready after bath. I just wanted her to be sure that she knew Grandma wasn't coming back. I think she understands but I am not going to push it. Off book shopping tomorrow xx

Oh Jeez why do people get so toey and worked up on the CS threads? You lot are lovely, but I clearly need to take a break from mn

Daisy I am so sorry to hear your news about your MIL. I?d love to say more to you, but in typical british stiff upper lip fashion I don?t know what to say for the best, so I?ll keep quiet but will think of you and your family right now. I have no idea what would be the best thing to say to your DD, but I would suggest that you let her see you cry at some point, as others have said. I remember when my Granddad died and it didn?t really hit me until one afternoon my Mum was crying in bed and needed a cuddle and I laid there and cried with her, and then I understood, without the need for any words, what had happened and that letting it all out was the right thing to do. Without seeing Mum cry I don?t think I would have realised that you should mourn those you have lost (although I was older than your DD is, about 7)

I don?t think I should read that Mog book, I loved Mog. DD got the tiger who came to tea (also Judith Kerr) for Christmas and reading that makes me well up, as he never comes back again

Aubi you really should venture up north more often, its really quite nice up here. Someone I work with had a client visit us from London a couple of weeks ago, and she seriously asked if we have Tesco !

Effie I feel really quite chuffed with myself, as DD has (almost) 2 of your favourite names! I am with you on the having autistic type traits, I read a book once by someone with autism and in the appendices there were lots of different tests they run to diagnose it. So I tested myself and in a lot of cases I would?ve been diagnosed autistic. I?m pretty sure I?m not, but I can very much empathise with the need for order and routine and with the not wanting to make conversation from time to time. Mind you, someone in your line of work, as mine, is always going to be a tad anal

Well done to Izz for the steps, has she taken any more Beans?

Huge hurrah to Lu for just being the bestest this week. Trace, did you feel like skipping and singing ?I?m so happy I?m so happy? too?! I?m sure I?d do that

So I had my first experience of one up mumship today. DD and I have started a baby signing course (seems a bit late to start, but its the first time one has been run round here so I thought I?d give it a try) and someone was there with her 11mo DS, who has just started to walk. We were talking babies and she asked how old DD is ? I replied 13.5m, to which she said ?oh she?ll be walking and talking by now?, to which I replied ?not yet, but there?s plenty of time for all that?. And then she said ?gosh that?s really late she really should be doing that by her first birthday, but of course girls are slower to learn everything?. Grrr. But I serenely smiled and thought ?just you wait til GCSE?s love, all the stats show my daughter will do so much better than your son? (sorry to all those with boys, that was just me mentally stooping to her level to make myself feel better ? as we sensible Mum?s know generalising boys and girls so much is just ridiculous and it all depends on the individual person that they are).

And the latest on the gender sweepstake:
Beans ? girl 8 votes, boy 2 votes
Rubena ? girl 4, boy 6
LadyT ? girl 6, boy 4
Summer ? girl 6, boy 4

Night everyone

Morning ladies, Rubs get out of the CS threads anyone who is nasty about anothers birth has their own issues. I prefer natural birth and can quote all sorts of stats in regards to both but the plain and simple truth is I'm shit scared of hospitals and surgery. I know that therefore my issues are my own and thankfully in our societies we have a choice.

Trace forgot to say, hooray for L, is it weird to be a little proud of her myself. Strange I know.

ZJ what a nasty lady. However, I had to pull DH up on something similar the other day. Our nephew is a month younger than DS2 and DH spoke to his Dsis the other day I asked how this nephew & his bro are. DH said they are good but 'DN2 is not walking, he is going to be a late walker like his brother'! He's 12 months! His brother walked at around 14 months! I gave him a good earful about developmental stages etc. I also reminded him that I didnt want our childrens development to be a competition. Cheeky bigger. And for the record walking by 12 months is not the normal, it's good but it's no where near the average.

Oh, ZJ, competitive Mums really bring out the worst in me. You are so much more polite than I would have been. Mind you I can still just laugh about O's lack of movement (what would they make of her? She can't even crawl, only bumshuffle a tiny bit!)

Oh, and Rubes, don't take a break from MN. Ignore the self-righteous bumwipes who feel the need to dictate how other people have their babies. If all they have got to feel good about is the precise manner in which their baby made it into the world, they are sad and inadequate and to be pitied. Truly. The important thing to me is that people can have their babies in the way THEY want to (vb, cs, home birth, vbac, in a birthing pool, whatever, it's all godd) - because when they are forced to have their babies in a different way, study after study has shown that it makes them much more susceptible to PND.

Daisy, I am so glad your DH is chatting about his Mum. That is a great healer. If you need any readings for the funeral the BBC published a Poems of Remembrance collection and I really do recommend it (comforting as well). Anyway, still thinking of you all tons.

Trace, that was such a nice thing to say about my new baby. Yes, as it will be the last for me, after the initial shock I am really trying to enjoy it as otherwise it will be a real shame.

Treating myself to a trip to London tomorrow. Sans DD. Lunch and the V&A. But today is filled with renovation stuff so better go...

Rubes Dont you dare leave us. I am like Veggie, the thought of another hospital birth scares me. I also couldn't have an elective CS as I don't like needles but that is me. You want an elective and that is all that matters. Providing you don't want to give birth on mars then have your baby your way and everyone else can shove it!!!

Evening all

Firstly Daisy I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you and your DH.

Well done all you PG ones. You nutters brave women!! I don't think i'm EVER going to be ready again. Not unless I get a certificate promising the next one a) sleeps b) isn't hyperactive...

No more miraculous sleep=through-the-night episodes. Clearly a one-off for DD to taunt us with .

She's also doing my head in a bit with constant demands to be BF when she's with me. The other day DH forgot to give the nursery her milk (she has a cup of expressed bm) and she was absolutely fine so its clearly a attatchemtn thing not a hunger thing. When we're out and about and she's distracted she's fine but at home it's just CONSTANT pulling at my top Any tips???

I read the wahat to expect at 14 months chapter this am and am somewhat perturbed to discover that she doesn't do ANYTHING on the list. oops! No words, no standing (though that seems a bit much, if you ask me, it says later in the same chapter that 13-15 months is average to start walking yet it also says at 14 months that they should be standing. Eh?) and no obeying "one step" commands, that's for sure!

I wish I could stop doing this, but I keep just wishing for the next stage.. Anyone else find this?? Or just me

Rubena I second Kayzr - ignore the idiots. I can never understand why people are so utterly convinced of the worth of their opinions that they feel compelled to share them. Because they are always the people wwho should shut up! I avoid any contentious threads on MN like the plague, they just wind me up. Stick to lovely supportive clubs like this and don't go!

.. though i must say Kayzr I think you are being very rude to people who want to give birth on Mars. What about teh Martian babies? Don't be so earthist

Oooops!! Sorry to any lurking Martians in our midst!!!

Trace if you are about I just wanted to ask something. My friend had her DD2 8 weeks
early nearly a year ago now. She had a consultant appointment yesterday and they are really getting at her because her DD2 doesn't crawl or anything yet. She is 9.5 months old at her corrected age(is that right? She'd be 9.5 if born at term). When did Lu do all the milestones. Hope you are well.

Kayzr Not that I know anything about premature babies or anything, but my niece never crawled and was 19 months before she walked. Absolutely nothing wrong with her, she just took after my lazy arse of a sister (who didn't walk till 22 months ). Some babies don't crawl at all so I guess unless there is any other reason to be concerned then she shouldn't worry. Though tthat's easy to say! Doctors do seem to have a knack of making parents worry sometimes..

hello
kayz Lucy crawled on her first birthday and walked at about 16 months I think. She sat up at about 9 months, so I guess she was behind with that. Her weight at a year was more than Phoebe is now so she certainly developed the ability to eat like a pig gain weight at a 'normal' pace! They said to me that they expect them to be behind for at least the first year but that by 2 years most have caught up to their peers, and we found this to be true. Your friend should ignore the silly person who is making he feel bad. She has a precious baby who has already shown herself to be a fighter and will blossom and flourish in her own good time. I think I mentioned on here ages ago about when I took Lu out for coffee (!) when she was about 4 months old an a lady asked how old she was, then commented on how she couldn't hold her head up very well for her age That was when my HV told me to lie to people about her age if it made me feel better, which I started to do on occasion - claiming she's 3 weeks old and already rolling and trying to crawl !
veggie thanks for that link - I shall check it out very next.
Rub stay here where it's safe and warm and womb-like! You don't need the stress of the Wider MN!
P has a blood shot eye Just her right eye but it looks all sore. I'm wondering if it'll develop into sticky stuff over night or whether something has scratched it or irritated it. Poor thing. She was awake twice last night but settled quickly after a yell then a pat!
Can you all tell me I'm being ridiculous about something...When I saw the crazy consultant last week I had Phoebe with me. She was tired and a bit grumpy so was grumbling and wriggling all over. The doc took her off me and jiggled her a bit, which of course sent P into a big fit of "give me my mummy back" rage and screamed and wailed with big tears rolling down her face. After about a minute of wanting to snatch her back, I lent towards her and put my arms out and P practically jumped into my arms and immediately snuggled into me and went quiet. The doc said that a short stint with a stranger always works because then they're so relieved to get back to their mummy that they go quiet. fine. odd, but fine. Except that the more I think about it the more I keep wondering if it was a test, to see whether I'm attached enough, or can act appropriately, or something, and I can't get it out of my head! Tell me I'm being a fool and need to stop over-analysing it!
Anyway must dash. have great weekends xxx

kiwi Hi x-posted with you there

Hello,
Rubena sorry for disagreeing with you on other thread, hope you understnad what I am on about . Anyway you should stay around here and off the c-section threads!!! Seems there are a few things you just can't say on mumsnet, being among them 1) i don't WANT a natural birth I just WANT a c-section, ok? 2) I don't WANT to breastfeed 3) I don't WANT to do baby led weaning, I just want to feed DC cow and gate jars 4) My child isn't sleeping, how do I do controlled crying to get them to sleep (rather than waiting it out for 3 more months til they just decide to sleep)
To be honest I think it's less hassle to just not bother with these topics especially if you disagree with the norm. However, sometimes it is very tempting to jump in!
Hmmm...have to go, DH has run us a bath, back later.