DEC 08 - Barely into toddlerhood and already at our tit's end

[MomOrMum]

Tit's end...had to be done.

Hope this works!

Oh gosh Urbane sorry I didn't see your post, that is all just horrible veggieboy will go out tomorrow to look for something to send back via Pieter Post (the Dutch name for that bumbling idiot). Poor little man, of course he is always welcome to visit but might not be a good idea right now. As far as looking after them while they are unwell can your nanny help out around the house and step in so you can have a nap during the day until they are better. You do have to look after yourself or you can end up unwell too.

I loved all my midwives and still in close contact with them all. Thinking of them just reminded me of something Rubs. You were saying about your midwives making comments about you having a CS, and it made me think about when I mentioned to the HV on her first visit that my midwife was going to do an extra postnatal visit because we were a bit sad about saying goodbye to each other. I was saying it to let her know I was still under her care officially really and also as an aside what a good relationship I'd had with her, and the HV said very spitefully, 'oh watch she doesn't charge you for that'. Which I found quite offensive, because it was the stupid NHS that had forced me to go private in the first place and she not only didn't charge me but she bought us a birthpool which was over and above what she needed to do.

Oh Sybs, I often think of the girls we lost along the way, in particular snowwombat. I know it sounds a bit stalkerish but every now & then I look her up to see if she is around anywhere on MN.

Oh and Sybs what cake are you going to make Urbane...? You may live vicariously through these pregnant girls but I could live vicariously through your cakes.

Oh the Hague is on tele, they are going to try the guy from Dafur. They never show it on the tele.

I sometimes think about the ladies we lost at the start of our pregnancies. I wonder if they have gone on to have successful pregnancies.

Hooray finally the Lancet has said the Wakefield research is dodgy. About time! I still find it amazing that they published it when it was a) unethical and b) carried out on such a small group with no control. Nursing and allied health journals have really strict guidelines for research publications, surely the medical journals do too?

Try? Is that right or should it be 'put on trial'?

Veggie, snowwombat had a baby in June 2009. She is on the June 09 post-natal thread I think.

Oh that's wonderful, thanks Kayz, why didn't I find her, clearly not as good a stalker as I thought...though you are Kayz you sly old fox

It's easy peasy!! Click on advanced search at the top of the page. Then type in the name of the person you are looking for.

But she hasn't posted since November last year.

Thanks Kayz I actually just popped on (cheeky I know) and left a little message for her. She has just posted today so hopefully she sees it.

DS1 just drew a picture of he and I with wings. I said 'wow' to this, which he frowned upon and asked me to not be so loud. He then explained that our wings are made of carbon fibre!

A cheeky post from work because my throat is too sore to concentrate on whatever it is I am meant to be doing.

Huge congratulations to Summer. I can?t believe you managed to keep it so quiet! All these pregnancy announcements are making me broody (but only a little).

OK, gender sweepstake ? I am going to predict repeat genders for you all (this is what happened to me and all my close friends). So:
Rubena ? boy
Beans ? girl
LadyT ? girl
Summer ? boy

LadyT ? are you having your scans at the Fetal Medicine Centre again (do you remember we nearly crossed paths their last time?)? If you are then they will tell you the sex at 12 weeks if you ask. They say its only 80% accurate at that stage but our doctor also said she had never got it wrong (not sure how that works with the 80% stat!). Anyway they got it right for us.

If we are also having a sweepstake on who will get up the duff next then I guess the smart money has to be on WG or Jolly (although I know the fear of hyperemisis). After those two I think I will go out on a limb and suggest someone will conceive a third (rather than a second). I think Urbane would be my bet for that (sorry Urbane, I know you have reservations, but I think the broodiness will win).

On poncey names I really, really loved Bede for a boy. But DH refused. I also loved Dorathea for a girl. But again DH refused. If I ever have another girl I want Maude (not poncetastic but v cute) but I think DH will need some persuading. I love Prudence though.

On night settling we are also lucky that DD2 very rarely wakes at night. If she does its often 10 minutes of wailing before she puts herself back to sleep. However, if prolonged waling occurs I always give her a cuddle and sing her favourite song. It seems too mean to deny physical contact when she might be scared. I also always give Calpol on the basis that the crying is so rare that there is probably a physical cause. Also DD2 is a calpol monster and just the taste cheers her up.

Someone was also asking about beakers. I have not even tried milk in a beaker. DD2 has water in a beaker and is fine with it but she loves derives comfort from her evening bottle and as she only has one a day I can see no harm is continuing with it. DD1 had a bottle until she was 2.5 and then gave it up without any problem and without any adverse affects from prolonged use so I think I will do the same with DD2.

I am however having problems getting DD2 to drink cow?s milk. She just isn?t interested. If her evening bottle is full of formula then she guzzles it but she hardly bothers with more than a sip of cow?s milk. Do you think I should revert to formula or just let her give-up the evening milk (which would actually mean bye-bye bottle)? She still has a breast feed when she wakes but that is her only other milk so if she gives up the night bottle she will be getting very little.

Sorry to hear about all the ill babies (and little boys ? that sounds horrid Urbane). I hope good health is restored soon.

Hey Aubi, I love Bede. Never considered it but I like it. A consultant in a completely different field (the fella who did my veins) said repeat genders are more likely. Don't know whether it is true (he said it was to do with the relative acidity or otherwise of the sperm and egg). My opinion is keep DD2 on formula if she likes it - I must admit I have been glad of the formula DD has been drinking as I figure it has extra vitamins to cow's milk, and boy has she needed them with the virtual hunger strike. Are you going to E's hen night? I had an email about it and noticed you were on the list. I'm not sure I am up to a sober hen night tbh...

I am going to the FMC for the 12 week scan and beyond, yes, but next week I am getting sent to the Gynaecological Ultrasound Unit which is a few doors down, as they specialise in the early scans.

Yes, there are some posters I really miss seeing about the place. I do however see Lowrib on the property pages occasionally. However, there is one poster who didn't post on here much (barely at all) but is on the list and she seems to post all over the blimmin' place and she rather gets up my nostrils 'Tis good about SnowWombat though.

Agh - big typo in last post. I would never let DD2 wail for ten minutes, I meant to type SECONDS. You must all think I am Cruella.

Go for Bede LadyT! I wld be so chuffed if you did. And come to the hen. You must. If you don't I will only know two people (E and CD). Please come.

Hello everyone,

Oooh blimey aub, I don't think I'll be next but soon hopefully. That is interesting about liklihood of a repeat gender. I'd like another girl as I always wanted a sister , and we've got so many lovely girl things.

I'll go for..

Beans - girl
Rub - boy
Summer - girl
LadyT - boy

I do like Prudence. Everytime DH and I mention a DC2 I refer to Rufus or Elspeth, both names he vetoed last time. I'm trying to wear him down slowly .

aub I was determined to get DD off her bottle because she has so many teeth, I expect it makes little difference unless they wander around drinking from one all day but I thought it'd be easier now than when she's a determined toddler. She doesn't drink as much from the cup as she did when it was formula, but as she has plenty of milk and yogurt during the day I don't think she needs it. She didn't really notice the loss of the bottle, there was no crying or anything.

That's really good news about snowwombat.

urbane How awful for you all. Glad you are home now. Hope you are taking it easy for the rest of the week.

I've lost my notes I made to catch up and can't remember what I was going to say. It'd probably be very old news anyway, it took me ages to catch up. Oh I do remember veggie farting at her pilates class! That made me chuckle.

Woo hoo summer fabulous news!! Really it is. Dare I say that all this baby talk even makes me slightly broody. But DH has now had the snip (even though he has yet to get the all clear), I think I just want to feel a newborn nuzzling up again. But i could not cope with anymore sleepless nights! Oh and don't any of you pg ladies bugger off and leave us, or I'll stalk you through the depths of MN

katie good to see you but awful news about your dad. I hope you get some answers at your next appointment

urbane how awful, please take care.

Things here are much the same, just waiting for that phonecall. But the minister really helped FIL the other day which was good.

Hi all,

WOW to all the Big News Items Congratulations SL and LadyT. Hope you are well enough to enjoy the next few months and that you can get your head round each stage as it comes along...
Katie hope you get some answers about your dad soon. That must be frightening for you all.
Urbane you poor thing with yet another visit to the dreaded hospital. Hope you recover soon - emotionally and physically. You wouldn't want me to make you a cake but you can have as may e-hugs as you like.
Daisy thinking of you through these 'hanging on' days. Keep posting...
Veggie sorry you're feeling so pants and hope you get your va va voom back soon.
WG/ZJ re settling at night - i'm still doing what I started a couple of weeks ago. That is when she wakes (usually around 9pm ish and 4am ish) I leave her for 10 minutes (and I do mean 10 mins because I am Cruella). Occasionally she will settle herself back to sleep within that time. If not I go in, offer her a beaker of water, check she has 2 dummies (one for the hand seems to hep her settle!), rub her back/lie her back down, and walk out again. Light stays off and I don't normally say anything. We had reached desperation with me feeding her every 1-2 hours again like a newborn, and the night that made my mind up wa when she was yelling blue murder, then when I went in and lifted her up she grinned at me. Wrapping me round her very little fingers! Hence the current technique - which is working for us in that two short wakings per night is the best we've ever had, so I'll stick with it for now.
Well I had 2 appointments today. First with the parent support worker for Lu's school who was lovely, helpful, understanding (didn't mind that I wailed for 45 minutes while she was here ) and has given me a few things to think about before I see her next week when we'll make a plan on how to manage things. Very positive.
Next was with my consultant. I don't have to stop work, so I got the result I wanted, so shouldn't complain, but I do feel a got a bit wounded in the process! She basically spoke a lot about my parenting of Lucy and said basically that all the problems I was having with her were because she feels left out since the arrival of Phoebe. She said she needs to know she's loved (which she KNOWS and I say it to her often) and that she needs someone - eg a grandparent - to tell her she's their favourite. She said a grandparent should say that to her, and would of course say the same to the other child when they are old enough, so she knows she is 'the' special one to someone. TBH I disagree. Neither can I imagine any of my parents or ILs being happy with that tactic. I came out of it feeling a whole load of guilt that I've ruined Lu's life , but like I said she's happy for me to continue at work so I mustn't grumble. We talked about the increased pills which have clearly helped my mood, but I am having a fair few palpitations and am very aware of my heart beating a lot of the time (I know I do sound bonkers now!) but she said that could well be the pills and that my GP could do an ECG to check it's all ok.
ANyway sorry to bore you with all that...only you did ask
DH has just got back from parents' evening so I'm off for some tea before I fall asleep on an empty tummy!
Have a good evening - sending healthy vibes to all the poorlies...

Jolly I did not fart in a pilates class...it was a yoga class

I think I now know how DH feels when I watch Arsenal. Leeds are on the tv and he keeps yelling and shouting at the tv.

DS1 has reverted back to being ill. He was fine yesterday and this morning. Both times when I was at work. DH thinks he might be playing up to it a bit.

Trace, I am so glad that your psych has let you stay at work but I am a bit at what she said about Lucy. 5 is a hard age with starting school etc and a new baby arriving when she can remember it being just you and her is bound to be unsettling, but I don't agree that she needs someone else to tell her she's the favourite. That would imply that P is your favourite and she is someone else's which is not the case. I think that would add to her feelings of rejection. You tell her that she is special and loved, and you show her that love in your day to day parenting. I think having someone else tell her that she's THEIR favourite would be rather divisive and undermining. As long as she has special time with you and your DH, in which she is the centre of attention, that must be better than comparing who is the favoured one.

Sorry for the rant but that advice doesn't sound good, well thought out or particularly helpful.

Trace Ditto what Sybil said.... shocking woman, you're def not bonkers as you disagree with what that woman said and rightly so!! What a nutter she is - stupid woman Glad you got the work outcome you wanted.

Hiya, just a quickie as I'm knackered tonight. Appointment with the specialist was good and I am now feeling much happier that something is finally being done about Dad. They are doing a load more tests on his blood. He has not ruled out malaria (which is what we've thought all along, but GP and hospital said it couldn't be) and tick bite fever, so we should know more soon. A real wieght off my mind that someone is now taking us seriously rather than treating me like a hysterical daughter!

Some of you wanted to know how Christmas went...it was fine in the end, there were a few family dramas, but nothing out of the ordinary (for this lot!) The BIL and his GF did pay up in the end, but MIL and one SIL didn't. I don't really mind about them as MIL has cooked us plenty of meals over the years and this SIL is only 18 so not earning etc. However, when I did the Christmas day shop the bill came to £360 - for 10 adults and 6 kids (and that didn't include the champagne as I forgot to buy it and had to raid my Dad's wine rack!) so I still think £25 per adult was very reasonable!

Night for now x

Welcome back Katie, but sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope your arse kicking gets some progress quickly, that sounds really nasty.

LOL at Veggie signing up to lots of direct debits when pregnant!

Urbane your poor DS. Burst membranes sound pretty awful to me, so scary for you all

Sybil if I remember rightly, I think Urbane will be needing a birthday cake pretty soon ?

Aubi I think DD didn?t like formula, she would hardly have any and just filled up on yogurt and cheese. I assumed she wasn?t a thirsty baby but now she?s on cows milk she?s drinking a pint and a half a day, plus water. With hindsight I wish I?d got her onto cows milk earlier. Obviously this is a bit of the reverse for you, but I think I?m trying to say go with what your DD likes, rather than what she should be having

So lovely to hear about Snowwombat Trace I?m thrilled that the parent support worker was so supportive and that the consultant has recognised that work is a good thing for you. Regarding her opinions on Lu, I think she should stick to being a CPN (which she sounds very good at) and let the parent support worker do the parent supporting. I was thinking of you, as I was in town at lunchtime ? if you ever come into York on your day off and fancy meeting up for a big sticky cake, do let me know

Summer your DS?s sleeping sounds just like DD ? she was a pretty good sleeper, but it all went pear shaped on her birthday and she wakes most nights now, often for a couple of hours. At weekends I have the strength to sit with DD until she?s really sleepy and most times she?ll go back in her cot, but when DH is away during the week so there?s no one to share the night shift with and I have to get up for work I just can?t persevere as I need some sleep to function the next day. I have tried music, a la Rubes, and during the day and and bedtime it works a treat but in the middle of the night its just something else to make her angry.

So I have got all excited about Kayz suggestion of a list and have been tallying the gender sweepstake:
Beans ? girl 6 votes, boy 1 vote
Rubena ? boy 4, girl 3
LadyT ? girl 3, boy 4
Summer ? girl 5, boy 2

Jolly I love Elspeth, but DH vetoed it for DD, and I don?t think it?d go with Eloise if we have another girl.

PS does anyone find the new confused face a little bit scary?

x post there Katie, I'm glad you are starting to get some answers for your Dad. And also very pleased that your Christmas was a good one - I thought of you often

And what I meant to say was thankyou for all your thoughts x