Sept 08: last year they were cute little bundles that smelt of milk and vanilla, but now they've been replaced with a babyzilla!

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

A new thread for us as the last one was running low.

ILTMIMI my house is a tip too. Earlier I poured half a bottle of calpol all over a cream carpet! Hope our new buyers don't mind!

hopefully Its ok to feel bereft...its also ok to mock some of the wierdos who post on the AIBU threads

Having wobbles today about He ds1. I so hope I have done the right thing...he seems happier but if he decides to go to juniors in september have I just made things harder????

splish Blimey. What an arsehole your exp is You ok?

Found T in top of the wooden chest in our sitting room today. Given that he learned to stand yesterday, I feel this is more than a little unreasonable

Becaroo I think you know your DS best, and if you thought it was bad enough at school to warrant HE him, then it was definitely the best thing to do. If there are issues later, you can deal with them, and probably a lot more easily than you could deal with the problems he was having at school before you took him out.

ON top. Not in top. Fool.

Had my scan today, all gone, as expected, but good that there was nothing left, so I don't have to have any further procedures, and they said I can get back to TTC whenever I want.

Good news and bad news eh Hopefully? {{{hug}}}

Becaroo - I agree with what Hopefully said about your ds. You made the best decision at the time, if things change in the future then you can change that then. Worry about the now, not the what might be

Glad to hear I'm not the only one with an untidy house. Mega bloks, Duplo, tea set and books are scattered across the floor

Glad to hear you sounding positive hopefully. See you on the October bus maybe?

My wonderful mother has only been with us since Sunday yet managed to throw ds' bedtime routine completely out of sync so that we spent three hours trying to get him to bed last night. During which he spent the last hour and a half crying his eyes out as from that point I refused to let him play downstairs. Ended up fast asleep at 10:30, which incidentally was the same time he fell asleep in front of the tv when DH and I were out on our date the night before.

Am hoping last night was a one-off. Can't complain too much as ds has been in a brilliant mood since my mother arrived. Makes a huge change from the constant whingeing and pleas to be picked up.

Another big hug to you hopefully

arghhhh, Baby e has managed to give me nipple thrush again. Its very itchy and a bit painful. I have used the niastatin drops for him and cream for me before. I dont think the drops stay in his mouth long enough as he can spit out also, his toungue is always coated white. His mouth hygeine is not great at the moment as he is cuttting three molars and freaks out when I come near with him with a toothbrush. .

Any ideas?????

hopefully I vivdly remember my last mc and my scan (also on a tuesday, wierdly) and sobbing down the phone to my poor sister even though I knew that I still couldnt possibly be pregnant anymore The nurse was great and told me I could start TTC again straight away as it has been a complete mc and I didnt need any surgical or medical intervention but tbh I pretty much thought that was that wrt having any more children....

ahem.....2 weeks later concieved Toby

Thanks for your posts re: HE. Been to a local group today that Tom enjoyed and we are going to see some owls on friday (he LOVES animals)

Hopefully, huge hug, and glad you are ok and about to embark in some more fun and games (SWI, was it?).

I have been thinking about a second child constantly, and I am not convinced that I'll have one, although I guess I'm writing this here because maybe you lot have convincing arguments to make my mind up the other way.

There is the issue of sleep and tiredness. I work, my family is far away, childcare is expensive, and we don't have a huge amount of money to grant quality childcare for two without making sacrifices. I suppose that is true for everyone. Also, I'll turn 39 this year, so not that young - sell by date is pretty close. And finally there is the whole environmental issue, the lack of resources in a superpopulated planet, the amount of pollution that each of us westerners generate, and all that depressing malarchey that we are bequeathing our children.

What are your views?

I have so much to catch up on and lots to post. Away on business so going to try to reply after meal soon (am knackered - 4am start courtesy of C!).

Hopefully C's not walking by herself but has been pulling up and trying to climb for ages and she'll walk if we hold her hands or she uses the wooden walker truck. We found repeating over and over (and over and over and over!!) again 'feet first, feet first' when she was trying to get off sofa or other high place. It finally worked and whilst i have to lift her onto the sofa, I am now confident enough to leave her to get down alone - she slides off on her tummy. Same procedure works well at the slide at whizz kids too!

Hopefully so sorry to hear of your news. I won't patronise you with platitudes about how it's probably for the best - truth be told, i don't really know what to say other than what I know of you, I think you and DH(to be) will get through it together.

Pacita I completely understand what you are saying. I am 37 and only have DP's mum nearby and she's getting on a bit. I earn quite a bit but DP doesn't and we'd have to both work full-time. With one (easy) baby it's no problem - 2 adults totally focussed on a pfb. I'm not sure how we'd cope with 2 (just the logistics of getting 2 children out of the car at nursery, one who is a toddler and one a baby not walking yet scares me).
Also, [whispers] we haven't really experienced sleepless nights..C slept through at 5 days and apart from the usual nights of illness and teething, we haven't experienced the pain of no sleep and I am a bit worried about this.

Plus there's maternity leave. i couldn't take less than 10 months but work only pay me for 16 weeks, so we'd need to save alot beforehand.

but, with all the what ifs, I keep thinking I'd regret it if I didn;t at least try for another one - C will get 5 mornings of free nursery from Sept 2011, so that'l help.

i keep thinking - if we don't try will we regret it??

phew! lots of posts as I'm in a hotel room alone!!

DG A sounds a bit like C. Everyone says how wonderful C is, such an easy baby, sleeps well etc etc and she is, of course she is to me, but most people don't see the clingy baby that we've had since day 1.
It's a rare day she will happily play on her own - she needs alot of attention and there's plenty of days when she just sits and screams to be picked up. I find this so frustrating. Of course I want to just sit and cuddle her, but she just wants to be held, not snuggled, and let's face it, as parents we have days when things just have to get done. We're not grandparents doing the 'fun, no housework days'.

She won't look at the tv at all, so can't even distract her for a bit, and she doesn't walk yet so gets frustrated easily.

having said all of that, I love her to bits and keep thinking every stage brings its own challenges and i much prefer this stage to newborn.

and finally......loving the tips on food. We have falafel & pitta down on the menu planner for tomorrow night's tea.

yes folks, I am anal enough to do a menu planner every week. i need to know what we're all having for tea so I don;t have to think. Every Sunday i do a meal list for Tuesday through to Mon and then we don't need to think for the rest of the week.
My best thing at xmas was finding out how to make rice pudding- it's so so easy - bung it in oven and leave it to cook. Loadsa calcium and you don't even have to stir. Much better than canned and I grate a bit of orange zest into it - tastes wicked.

C had a very bad cold over xmas - she had a temp for 2 nights and a rash on her tummy. Doc said it was infant rosaria (sp??) and very bad cold, plus ear infection. She refuses to eat when ill and survived on fruit and yogurt and her weight dropped to 21lbs.
She's now back eating loads, although still in 9-12m clothes.
I got very stressed when she'd eat 2 spoonfuls of food then make the 'i'm done' sign. I just kept thinking, she knows what she needs. She's now back to eating lots and is the only baby in her nursery room to use a fork - we had to get special permission!!!

IOM I am thinking of you in a hotel room with only MN for company! Yes, I really appreciated the food discussion too. DD now demands Philly and grated carrot sandwiches - I had to buy more Philly today!

Pacita My determination to go for two children (against all odds and advice) is based largely on a belief that DD needs someone her age who knows her from the start, if that makes sense. All of our family live so far away, so she never sees her cousins (who are older than her anyway). With DH's work it is unlikely that we will stay living here forever, so friends she makes locally when very young won't be there later. I grew up with two sisters and lots of cousins, and 40 years later those people are still in my life. There's just something important about having family your own age.

The other reason is that I have a friend who has one child. She was in her early 40s and was told she couldn't have any more children due to the complications with his birth. She found out 5 years later this was not true, but then it was too late to have another. She loves him to bits but her advice was have two if you possibly can. He is now a very active and chatty 6 year old but the only person he can play with / talk to is her (they live on a farm so no close neighbours etc). At that age kids talk such nonsense and so they should - but with other kids rather than making poor mum think she is going insane! They say two kids occupy each other so much better (even if they profess later in life that they didn't get on, they probably play with each other a lot). It's a lot more fun for the kids to have someone who wants to play the games they want to play, and a lot less stress for the parents. That's my theory anyway - fingers crossed it works out like that for us!

lol at IOM meal planner so she doesn't have to think. I sort of meal plan in my head, but I know exactly what you mean about making things easier so you don't have to think!

The food discussion has been good here too. M is loving the wraps with falafel and hummus.

Will we have another baby? God knows. My opinion changes every bloody day

On a philly note, tesco & Sainsburys full fat cream cheese versions are cheaper, taste just as nice (imo) and have much less salt than 'brand' philly.

Now you tell me!

I have a menu planning notebook [ultimate geek emoticon]. One every double page spread I have a grid on the left hand side (8 squares, one for each day and one for baking ideas), and on the right hand side I write the shopping list for that week. But my anal retentiveness does allow me to feed me, DP and enormously greedy T almost entirely organically and reasonably well for significantly under £200 a month.

Incidentally, if any of you make yoghurt (because, hey, who doesn't need another chore to add to their week?), if you leave it to strain through a muslin for at least a day you get homemade philly-type-stuff. Is good. I sometimes make it when they have cheap organic milk, but my yoghurt making skills are a bit hit and miss so I don't do it all the time.

Oh, and at C sleeping (for any length of time!) from 5 days. I think the first time T slept through he was about 10 or 11 months. Sleep deprivation is undeniably crap (and I think we can safely say that I did not cope well with it), but even now it seems a long time ago, and sometimes I even get that middle-of-the-night-feed nostalgia!

I actually find myself looking forward to having two (assuming it actually happens, which hopefully it will eventually. I am only 27 after all...). Not the newborn stage, which I would gladly skip, but having two little people that we made conversing and interacting with each other. How weird and yet fascinating and wonderful is the idea of that?

And I'll thank those of you with two children not to ruin my fantasy

Thank you ladies for your input. Ponymum you are so right, growing up with someone of your same generation is very important. I think the fact that I live and work in London has a lot of bearing in things. You see, just moving to a bigger house in a nicer area seems like a complete impossibility, because house prices are so huge. Areas with a good school are totally over subscribed, and prices sky rocket. With another baby, we would need to move. If we move, we both need to work full time in order to pay the mortgage (you mentioned this too, Imoscarmum. If we work full time, we don't see our kids, and come back home knackered. I sometimes feel that I don't have the energy to do that. The catch 22 situation really frustrates me. And then I think of all the people who manage to happily have kids with very little and I feel like a silly snob.

Oh, and I also think of climate change, overpopulation and the end of resources. Is this paranoid?

I do feel broody though.

pacita our attempts at ttc#2 have no logic. I assume my mum will be around to help with childcare. I also assume dh's business will improve and expand so he will be earning more money. I assume I will still be able to dip in and out of work after an assumed 8-9 months maternity leave. I hope that ds will love having a sibling and will enjoy being a big brother looking out for his little brother or sister.

I am placing a lot of faith in those who say it's easier going from 1 to 2 than it is going from none to 1. I assume these parents had needy clingy non-sleeping pfbs like my ds and their second dc slept through on day 3.

I don't feel like my family is complete and to be honest getting that bfp in November was the most wonderful feeling, the mc a few days later just made me more broody.

Other than remembering to have sex more often than co-sleeping comfortably allows I refuse to overplan it though, could take ages or it might not happen at all. Hence, head in the sand regarding childcare, maternity leave costs, career decisions, lack of space, lack of mental capacity to cope with more than I am already juggling.

LOL, hopefully, if anyone will have a successful ecofamily that will be you, i have not doubt about it.

I am AMAZED that you manage to feed your family with £200 a month, organically, and quite obviously with nice things. How do you do it? Just by the power of the notebook? Do share!