Sept 08: last year they were cute little bundles that smelt of milk and vanilla, but now they've been replaced with a babyzilla!

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

A new thread for us as the last one was running low.

Sorry to hear your news splish, I agree with pacita he needs bringing to his senses. You are probably best where you are at the moment with the support you are getting.
On the tongue front I would treat for thrush and observe, If no improvement in a week or so I would go back the docs. I agree that is could also be viral.

Hope your alright hopefully

splish I gave DH a brief precis of your situation and he is so enraged at the injustice he has proposed the following: all the MNetters organise a vigilante group of DPs/DHs to ambush him at your house and "thow him out on his arse". (Disclaimer for legal reasons - he is not recommending that we actually do this.)(But very tempted.)

If you own the house in your name, can you not get a court order to evict him? Can the shelter advise? Surely he has no legal right to live there? Is it time for a legally worded letter advising him that his time is up? Or have you tried this? Sorry if I'm poking my nose in - I just can't believe that this situation can carry on without some legal / police intervention on your behalf to get him out. It's not right.

starlight Once again you are absolutely right. I just need to enjoy DS not fret over every single parenting decision I've made. Yet another gem to remember 'for next time'.

digi "all children who are breastfed till they selfwean beyond the age of two are much more outgoing, confident, happy and generally more pleasant to be around"?? Did she provide some independent evidence for this sweeping claim? It sounds like an incredibly guilt-inducing statement to me. And how is it that I gave up BF at 7 months yet have a pleasant, sociable, non-tantrumish, giggly girl. All children are different and it is surely impossible to pin sociability and personality to one factor. I think BF to 15 months is absolutley brilliant. You should be really proud of that, and ignore the claim in the article.

We did manage to go double buggy shopping yesterday. We looked at the Mountain buggy, Nipper, and Phil & Teds. The Mountain buggy looked fab but is so enormous! When it was folded up and I tried to lift it it was like trying to lift a small car. Cannot imagine me post c-s/post SPD getting that into the boot. So no can do. The Nipper was better but I am still really put off by the size of the side-by-side double buggies. I would be so embarassed at how much space I am taking up on the foot path. Then we looked at the Phil & Ted and decided it was a much more sensible design, and so much more flexible. So carrie I think you were right after all! But also discovered they have a whole lot of new models out so have to figure out which version we want can afford, and then find a bargain somewhere.

DG, Startlight is spot on, i think. I am forever finding I feel guilty about the most ludicrous things, such as not having washed enough vests, or not having bought enough bananas, or just wanting to sit on my arse and have a rest. And at the end of the day, I think it is all probably not very important compared with making your LOs feel loved.

I have also been reading about child development and toddlers in particular, and it seems that whether you have a child who sleeps or not, who is calm or forever on the move, is more down to genetics than to parenting. You can create the right environment, propitiate the right responses, but ultimately it is genes that have the final say.

I agree pacita but also add with similar Genes siblings can be complete opposite. I am thinking you get what your given if you know what I mean

Dh has taken ds1 sledging I have started with a cold and sneezing and coughing is so rib painful

T has started pulling up on everything! I was relying on DP's lazy genes (didn't crawl really, walked at 20 months) to keep him on the floor for a bit longer... He may be walking at a mere 16 months at this rate

pony I think I might have lied. i think it's actually the out and about nipper that my friends got. I said she had the other one before I looked at the picture and I don't think hers has got the 2 wheels at the front.

splish I agree with everyone else about what an arse your xp is being and also about not paying the bills if possible. Are you going to be able to get to your house to see the damage for yourself? I hope you haven't lost anything sentimental.

DS2 has got chicken pox I think. He was in contct with someone with it the Wed before Christmas so when after 2 weeks had passed with no spots I thought he'd escaped. But on Friday we discovered 2 spots and today 2 or 3 more plus the others have scabbed over. He's been miserable too and refusing point blank to take calpol. Bet ds1 gets it when we are moving house and won't be able to go to pre-schl to get out the way.

We have defrosted the freezer!

Was on my to do list before ds was born. Finally decided that it was cold enough to leave the food outside while we got busy with the hairdryer. No more kicking the drawers in to shut the door!

I was in a rush to post the last one. Just wanted to add that I am at your XP's behaviour Splish.

I was thinking taht there must be a way for the Services that be to make a specific appointment for you to return to your house and have all your things removed and put into storage. (it will be cheaper than paying for his gas, leccy, water, council tax etc., I bet)

In your shoes, I would be happy to involve the police so that you can be on the premises without (or with) his presence to get your stuff.

Are you seeking information on getting him evicted if the property is completely in your name. I know that all this must be hard to do while having no support with the girls and that you ahve to take baby steps before you can get the ball rolling but feel free to come here and vent.

digi I was skim reading that thread set up for Supernanny and someone raised the head banging toddler thing. Someone piped up that one technique is to have a large beanbag and take the child to the beanbag when they start to headbang. In time this poster's child started to take himself to the beanbag when he became frustrated.

splish I just want to agree with what everyone here has said about the unfairness of the situation and have no advice but everyone's suggestions sound excellent.

pony I wished we could afford the vibe at the time (it was new out) but we got the sport. I got chatting to someone in the park a while ago who has the vibe and doesn't like it - its heavier, her 8mo had outgrown the bottom seat (I think she had it reclined though) and apparently its not that easy to fold with the bottom seat attached (one of the selling points of the vibe is that you don't have to removed the bottom seat to fold, but we've worked out a very quick and cunning way to get round this with the sport). Could be worth reading reviews on line? I did worry for you that the basket might be a bit low to the ground though for your country walks?

foxy that beanbag idea is an excellent one.

DG I have a lovely outgoing, bright 2 1/2 year old who didn't have a drop of breastmilk past 8 weeks old. I know a family of outgoing, very pleasant kids who were ff from birth. Please please don't beat yourself up because you 'only' fed to 15m, you did brilliantly. My bf ds is the clingy, temper prone eczema boy, what would the research make of that?!

It's been a while since I was on here last, so it's taken a while to read through. I am very sorry to hear the sad news

We moved the week before christmas and only got broadband back this week. The move went well but I fear we will be still unpacking and sorting out bits for a couple of months yet.

I have a job interview this week for a part-time job so please keep your fingers crossed for me; I am desperate not to carry on working full-time and get a work life balance with my lovely little girl.

Ooo, important point carriebo. I think the only way to determine whether it is or not is too low to the ground is for you to come out here with your Phil & Teds and come with me for a walk along the track with the mud and the puddles. (But maybe we'll wait for the snow to melt a bit first.)

Good luck kagey! debi It may have been an older mountain buggy. I think the double used to have just one wheel at the front.

Thanks to everyone with their supportive messages, you always make me feel a bit better

Have been waiting ages for legal aid to proceed - going for occupation & non molestation order - though when he got a letter from the solicitor the other day he told me I'd better put that on hold because he's helping out with the house at the moment so needs to be able to be there. I haven't been granted aid for residence or contact orders for some reason & I want to sort that out too.

The house is in my name only. I had the water bill put in his name. However for gas & electricity seems more difficult. He's not a tenant so apparently can't make him responsible for the bills. He could pay them if he wanted to. But I am apparently responsible, if I stopped paying would go to court, and I'd get court charges etc added to the bill. And if they cut power due to non payment, would charge me to reconnect. Squatters have rights to water etc.

Too far away to go and look at the damage really. A friend saw it as far as possible in the dark, as she went to pay the plumber who fixed the pipe for me. Luckily my sister took photos & things left by my mum when I left in case he damaged anything.

DG - get used to the guilt! It's something that arrives with the baby I think - there's always something you can feel guilty about but we all know you're a fab mum.

Hopefully - wondered if you're far away. We're e of Portsmouth, not far from W Sussex border.

Probably quite near Splish - I'm in Chichester, and I'm quite often along the A27 to visit a friend in Southampton. Maybe we could meet for a coffee somewhere one day - drop me an email on islaybower [at] gmail [dot] com if you're likely to be free any time!

ILTMIMI sorry, just realised I forgot to email you back in all the excitement/misery of last week, will do it today, I promise!

Whoops, think T is playing with my laptop in other room. Can hear chuckling and not a lot else, which is never a good sign...

I used to live in Gosport and had a very good friend in Chichester. Small world really.

Have been trundling round MN while jiggling DS to sleep in the pram with one foot, and am feeling all bereft:

• Can't post in Pregnancy, as am not pregnant
• Can't post in Conception, as can't really think about that until scan gives all clear tomorrow
• Can't post in Miscarriage, as MC is clearly over now.

Am also having to contain mad fantasies that they'll announce I'm still pregnant tomorrow (not the least danger).

Harrumph. I'll go and offer my opinion on a few AIBU threads to cheer me up!

Good plan Hopefully, I might join you.
I'm hiding in the dark in the dining room. DS1 was playing 1 of his games (think he was making pizza out of duplo for a teddy) but obviously ds2 (who is very grumpy today because he feels yuck but will NOT take calpol no matter how we try to get it in him) doesn't understand the game so keeps stealing the duplo resulting in them both dissolving into tears. So put cebeebies on for ds2 but now they are both watching it.
Bad really as ds1 spent most of the aft watching telly while I spent hours on hold trying to sort house moving stuff.

DS2 really needs more sleep but won't go back to bed, can't go in buggy in snow and car has handbrake frozen on so can't go for drive.

Ah, Hopefully, but you still have us!

hopefully ! You need to develop a nosey lurking habit. Pick one of those obsessive threads like the Pushchair shed, or Good Housekeeping. Then fall over laughing at the stuff that is really important to some people out there. It's a hoot.
(No offence intended to any obsessive house-cleaning pushchairholics.)

lol Ponymum! I like where you're coming from...

Pacita I'll never leave you lot! How would I survive the daily thrills of my life without you?

Ah Hopefully, it's crap when you're having one of those days isn't it? Although I'm guessing there'll be a few more of those days, but it will get better/easier. There are days when you can be philosophical (sp) about it and days when you need to rage at everyone and everything. Rage away is what I say.

Let's talk about nice stuff. Has T done anymore walking type stuff today?

I have never looked at the Housekeeping threads, but I should as my house is a shit-hole. As soon as I get on top of it, ds rips up a magazine and then chucks his toys EVERYWHERE.