June 2008: New Year, new thread, new names, new words, new goals, but no resolutions!

[abdnhikinginawinterwonderland]

New thread since the last one's at 997 posts...

the village thread is up there in the discussions of the day... yes DGT that's the one, although I think it's aimed at village vs. London - but far too negative about cities!

sybil I'd never noticed the ticker thing until you pointed it out - I'll never thave anything that creative to put there though... Hope the joints are okay tonight...

amber one of DS1's close friends is adopted and when I think of the life he could have had instead it's heartbreaking - he and all our kids are so lucky.

essie glad you're back... why were you running out of time earlier?

Its a double edged sword though Essie. One of the things that tweaked my wrist over the weekend was picking up a large glass of wine at an odd angle. Justice on me really I suppose...

You see no one warns you of this at librarian school. That picking up and putting away heavy books will bugger your wrists and make future wine drinking harazdous and painful

I thought that was it abdn. It's all a bit competitive for me. Ooh, we've got a village post office... I'll see your post office and raise you a village pub. ZZzzzzzzzzzzz.

How do you do the ticker thing sybil?

I like tedibers although I do see tedibers and translate it as Essie in my head .

News of the week from me: DH and I tentatively thinking about moving. We love our house but the area is a wee bit ropey these days so not where we want S to grow up. Problem is, anywhere half decent in Edinburgh is £££££££££ so we're thinking of moving out of the city to midlothian where we could probably get a really good sized semi or detatched 4 bed property with garage, dining room, 2 bath on a nice cul-de-sac for the same money as a basic 3 bed terrace/flat, 1 bath, no dining room in a nice area in Edinburgh. We wouldn't actually be far from where we are now, but we would be sort of sacrificing living in a lovely city with loads of amenities for the cul-de-sac commuter town life. Decisions, decisions...

the ticker thing: you go to My mumsnet, then registration details, then there is a box called user (...something that I can't quite remember, but its in a box under nicknmame). Enter your pithy comment and save. Simples.

I didn't even know you could get a ticker!

Hm, still thinking about what to do with my name. It's funny that I'm known as Essie (I like it, and I did start it myself years ago by signing off e-mails as SE etc) but Essie3 is so dull really. Essie by itself would be fine but someone who was on here years ago used it. Hm. Something creative using Essie is what I'm after!

London - well, Amber, you missed the mid-term slot, but I'll be back at Easter. I had a really lovely time but missed seeing lots of people. (That includes you, Penguin - Wimbers isn't the same!) I also need to get to London a bit more often really because I get all my grooming done there - hair, eyebrows, new clothes. I think the students have twigged - she gets all Susan Boyle, disappears for a few days, and returns all Cheryl Cole groomed. (Minus the beauty, obv. But I'm brainier. ) But fingers crossed for your little embryo, Amber. And also for your tests Poppy, and hope things turn out for the best for you.

Abdn running out of time - well, generally, I've realised I've got lots of deadlines - a funding bid to go in, and other things 'to do at the start of march' and I've realised it's almost the start of march. Argh! Also today, I was sitting in my office mucking around on facebook and other stuff, and suddenly realised it was 15 minutes to a seminar and I had a chapter to read. (It's not only the students who leave prep to the last minute...)

Thanks to all the ravelry people! I finished my very first baby cardigan yesterday, and I'm halfway through a second strawberry hat. I made one for Iestyn, and my brother wanted one for his friend who has a baby. (My brother is lovely, we all adore him, but sometimes he has no concept of reality somehow - oh, my sister would love to make a hat for your baby right now! She can knit! She likes it! It's really fast and she'll finish it in a day! It's free!) It's quite a boring project for a baby I don't know, but the mother is struggling as her husband left her when her baby was v. little and she's now divorced.

Sybil that must have been one hell of a glass of red wine! But can I remind you of a perk that they don't tell you about in librarian school? (I spend a lot of time in libraries, as you know.) When you're putting books on shelves, or taking them out, it's great if you crouch down to look at the bottom shelf and then stand up quickly because you get a big headrush. It's legal and everything! Or maybe it's just me...

Morning. Just a quick one to say thanks for your experiences with highchairs. P is most emphatic as to where he wants each meal. As he can manage on a dining chair, I think I will follow his lead for now. It's odd though why sometimes he is mad keen to get in the highchair, and other times the thought of it sends him into meltdown. Sponge yes, I had thought that getting the right booster seat for our funny dining chairs would be tricky.

DGT exciting news about a potential house move. I completely understand the city v suburb debate. I would find it v hard if we weren't in walking distance of a v pleasant town centre. I agree with Sybil about the merits of market towns. This is despite having always aspired to live in the country (I grew up in a village). Sponge, apart from the job offer from your agent, how is your move going?

DGT it's a toss up isn't it? We ended up in the country because the price difference meant that we practically had to - we bid on a house in town first but couldn't afford a 3-bed semi (where the 3rd bedroom was a small single) and we got this 3bdrm, detached with garage house for less money. But I don't regret it at all, it is idyllic here in nice weather. (Plus Aberdeen doesn't have as much to offer city-wise as Edinburgh - it's the castles etc. that have so much on offer for families. Everyone in the city seems to spend their weekends driving out to here to enjoy themselves (and the total commute time is only 20 minutes)). However if I could afford a lovely character terrace in Edinburgh I might rethink...

laughs at essies description of the excitement of a library head-rush...

sybil i hope you had the glass of wine anyways (carefully)

Am ordering my new bathroom today...

I'm a bit down about the whole work thing though. Our plans that DH would take one day a week off have disappeared - basically he's run off his feet at work and loves it and is worried it'd be a real career negative. And he now admits that unless i'm miserable, he's happier with me at home so that he doesn't have to worry about the boys while he's at work. He's been less than proactive about getting the contract approved with his lawyers etc. So since this job isn't my dream job, it's too salesy, I'm thinking it's just not meant to be. If it was my dream opportunity, I'd push for it (and I know what that is and have my fingers crossed). But the extra £100 per week would be so helpful...

Sybil, you make me laugh!

Abdn, what a toughie. It's a dilemma and such a shame that it is not seen as the done thing for men to cut down their hours. I would love for DH to do four days a week but he doesn't really think it is possible. Hopefully one day he will be a judge, they only work 10.30am - 4pm . But re your job, I find it creates loads of hassle on the days i am at work - cos DH is supposed to pick them up from the CMs but sometimes he gets stuck in court and we have to rely on GPs, who are not always around. I know at times like those he would rather I was at home full-time! But £100 a week is a lot - could you give it a go for a couple of months and see how it goes? Your Dh might be worrying about nothing.

Amber, sorry to hear about your traumas last week - fingers crossed for Monday. I think you are right that your chances are greater cos of a previous pregnancy. 29% is the average isn't it and takes into account everyone no matter what their history?

Domestic, as someone who has gone through the whole London/suberbs thing I can safely say that we have done the right thing with the suberbs. We could never have afforded a house like this in London and Luke loves the extra space. I love the quiet and being able to hear birds. It's also a place full of decent people - much lower crime, it's clean, no graffitti etc etc. What I have missed out on is everything being in walking distance. It would have been a big struggle to continue with me commuting to work and incorporating the nursery run. Mark commutes just fine though and it actually takes a bit less time! As a non driver it does get on my nerves a bit that we have just one bus but I am learning to drive and once that is conquered I will be fine. Pros and cons? Suberbs win hands down.

Essie - I do the same and just convert Tedibers to Essie in my head. I haven't done that with the other name changes and I will be honest I can't remember what they started off as - I am crap I'm so sorry!

That village thing is ridiculous isn't it!! I don't remember seeing anyone write in to say so though and that's not like MN! Usually within 2 sentences someone has told everyone to stop being so pretentious.

Sybil - that was one hell of a glass of wine - rmind me never to go drinking with you - I'd be pissed in minutes!!!

We have a new thing here with Luke. He detests being wet - anything at all. He cried his eyes out in the bath last night just shouting wet wet. I put some of his eczema cream on and he got upset again because he was wet. A bit of rain, the water on the car might accidentally touch him - I have to carry a towel around to dry him from everything!! Maybe he just likes saying wet? This is a problem - specially the bath thing. hmmmmmm

Oh and by the way, last night was day one of trying wake to sleep to see if I could get Luke to wake later than 5.30. I set my alarm for 4.30 to wake him but the little blighter woke up at 4.10 crying. I think he had a bad dream and still planned to wake him again at 4.30 but he woke up at 4.28!!! I got him back to sleep with milk but he still woke at 5.30. Argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Aberdeen - the work thing is a mare £100 a week is not to be sniffed at. Neenz - yes 29% is an average but my fertility is extremely low so probably counteracts the previous pregnancy thng!

I live in the suburbs because it is sensible , not because I love them. I loved living in central London, and so did DH. We both really miss it. But we couldn't have had 4 children, me as a SAHM, and an ever-growing collection of books and crap other stuff unless we moved out of the city. Neither of us ever in a million years imagined ourselves living in the suburbs, and certainly not the one I grew up in. But it's the grown-up thing to do. The children are happy and settled, the schools are good, once I got over myself about London, I realised that Liverpool has a lot going for it and is only a few miles away. DH gets his fix of city life as he is in London for a few days each week, which makes me madly jealous. What we'd love would be to have family back-up locally so that occasionally I could leave the children here and spend a few days in London with DH.

Do I'm the one voice of dissent and I'd stay in the city, but I am a bit daydreamy about it!

Sybil you made me laugh with your heavy glass of wine! But I hope your injuries are better.

Tedi (I also translate it to Essie) loved your headrush thrill!

Amber fingers crossed.

I have friends (both lawyers) who each work 4 days a week, so their child is in nursery 3 days, and spends 1 day with Mummy and one with Daddy. It works really well, but they were both partners before having their (one) child which I guess helps. Wouldn't work with DH's job. I keep telling him that he couldn't do his job without me to hold the fort here!

I'm sure you're dead right that he couldn't do the job without you Rolf.

We live in the suburbs but still have restaurants, shops etc within easy walking distance. Liverpool is only about 10 miles away so I really do think it is the best of both worlds. I have never lived in London but whenever I have been there what struck me most was how long it takes to get anywhere!

Amber, about the sleep. Any chance he would play or read on his own after waking? Maybe try putting something noisy in the cot with him to keep him entertained? The DTs have the igglepiggle dolls, a toy phone and a leapfrog BabyTad which plays nursery rhymes etc. They are pretty noisy but they don't cry for us to go get them!

Amber, your fertility is only low because of your egg quality/quantity isn't it? The IVF has bypassed that problem so hopefully it is not an issue now

Oooh yes never thought about it like that Neenz! The minute Luke wakes up he shouts door out and mummy. He has toys in there but he just wants me. That's why when he goes to his grandparents he stays asleep until 7.30. The only other thing to do maybe would be for mark to get him up in the morning until he thinks it's not worth the effort becuase I am not coming. Mark would NOT like that idea though!!!

Amber, could you not convince Mark to try going in to Luke for a weekend or something and see if it makes a difference? When giving up nightfeeds we have always changed so that dh goes in to settle and they know after a couple of days that mummmy just isn't available anymore. It does work, but is painful to lie in bed while they call for you and get upset. At the moment J wakes up and stands at his cot yelling, 'Ma', 'ma!!!!!!!!' louder and louder until I show up and feed him. We will probably be doing the daddy getting up thing over Easter so that I can completely stop feeding him.

It wasn't that big a glass of wine! Well, ok, it was big actually (home measures in a huge glass ), but it is more that I picked it up with my wrist bent back slightly which caused the problem. Essie, the headrush is ok unlesss pg. In which case it's less of a slight dizzy sensation, and more of a complete passing out and humiliating yourself in front of top litigation partner. I will never forget the slightly terrified look on his face as I came around to the wafts of his very strong aftershave.

Are you a librarian in a law firm, Sybil?

Quick post, just tidied up house and had pics done for estate agent - the house they took photos of is much bigger than mine!

Rolf, I'm with you - city over suberbs any day!

Tedi, pmsl at the library head rush!

We lost the house we'd fallen in love with - has gone to someone in rented accommodation .

x-posts sybil - are your sure it wasn't the strong aftershave that made you pass out in the first place?!

Quick post, good luck Amber

Hi to everyone else

Busy here, had Mum staying, Tristan Birthday on Saturday, viewing, party etc etc... and another viewing on Friday so who knows, this may be the one!!As lovely as it is to have family staying it's nice to have the house to ourselves again(apart from the paying guests of course)

will lurk when I can until next viewing is over

Deb, good luck with the viewing!

Sponge, sorry about the house . It's amazing how the agents can make rooms look so much bigger than they are isn't it. I am sure you will find another house you love, an even better one

Amber what a monkey sleeping till 7.30 for the GPs! I know you have tried CC - do you think it would work to just leave him, keep going in saying 'it's still nighttime, sleep time now' or something similar? He is very bright so do you think he would understand a light on a timer - when the light come on it's time to get up and not before then? Does he seem tired during the day from his early starts? From what you say about Luke, I think probably not, he is more like the Duracell bunny

fingers crossed for you deb!

sponge we lost the first house we wanted and now we're so relieved as this one is much better for us. DH rides past the old one on his commute every day and he says he feels pleased as punch we were outbid.... (will try to call tomorrow but may be thurs as DS1 has his pre-school booster tomorrow )

Amber maybe you need to try to see the positive side - that Luke absolutely adores you and wait to see you every morning! Small change I know compared with 5am waking. Sorry the wake to sleep ended up being a disaster... will you try it again or give it a rest? I agree with the suggestions that it'll probably take Mark to break the habit...

sybil I've just stopped feeding fraser - he wasn't thrilled and I did need DH to help as Fraser would not settle for me when he was upset without milk. A week later and it seems to be fine (fingers crossed, but I miss my cuddles!) And your passing out story - a good one to remember for parties when people are suggesting dangerous jobs... (I was really light-headed when pregnant too and had to stop and sit on the pavement while walking a couple times).

Hello, I've been really crap at posting for a while - just haven't had much to say.

Amber, I have everything crossed for you.

Puree, congratulations, what a beautiful name!

Goddess - now that we are well and truly in the burbs, I'm quite happy. I miss being able to walk around the corner to nice restaurants, bars, shops etc, but tbh, we weren't going out much anyway, so it's not a huge loss. More than made up for by the lack of three flights of stairs, and all the extra space, bathrooms, bedrooms, huge garden and being able to park on our driveway, rather than fight for a space with everyone else and often end up miles away! I might feel differently if I had to rely on public transport, but with a car, it's fine.

Nothing else to report... As you were...

Good to hear from you Bugger!

Thanks everyone for opinions on housing. My heart says city, my head says space...

Had loads I wanted to reply too but have been very busy admiring a nice new housing development online and really must go and spend some of the evening with DH.

Good luck to everyone with house selling/buying etc etc.

Oh my God - one born every minute - I would have cut that man's balls off!!!!!

He was the worst so far wasn't he? And his wife did so well. I was biting my nails waiting for their baby to breathe - glad I'd not seen that when pregnant!