Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

my boy is mostly sleeping! , he slept til 3:30am last night, apart from waking briefly for a feed. Then he was awake and smiley til 5am or so, then slept while fidgiting a bit, then fed, then slept from 7am til 10:30am, with a little feed in the middle, and now, guess what, he is sleeping again, after waking a couple of times for a small feed.

He has a cough, which definitely chokes him, or makes a choking sound. What with all this sleeping, should i be worried? He is warm, but not feverish, and seems fine apart from cough and sleeping...i shall keep an eye.

Happy New Year everyone! I have been away for a couple of days so only just caught up!

It's been great getting to know all you ladies in 2009 and I'm looking forward to seeing what 2010 brings us! It's going to be such a lovely year, I'm already getting excited thinking about the summer with our bouncing babies!

Me and dh still haven't done the deed but thinking we will do soon, just don't know when as once ds is in bed Millie is awake all evening and by the time I go to bed I'm shattered and would rather sleep than have sex! Oh well, I'm sure we'll get round to it soon!

I haven't given Millie a bottle yet as I'm too lazy to express. Feel I should soon though as she is 2 months old now and I really would like a night out, hopefully she will accept the bottle too.

My new years diet starts tomorrow so I am eating all the left over Christmas chocolate today, yum! Must get down to the Gym too, my stomach still looks like I'm about 5 months pregnant, hideous!

Happy New Year Ladies.
As everyone else has said you have all been a godsend to me over the past 9mths or so.

My boobs really hurt today and I think it's the lack of support in my nursing bra. Scarlotti please remind me where you get the underwired nursing bras from. I am so full I cant even raise my arms. ow ow ow ow ow. Might wake baby for relief. Earlier when I took my bra off I shot milk across the room! I have never felt so unglamorous in my life.

Think it might be time to invest in a pump but worried I'll just make even more milk then? Any one any advise for over supply?

Wow ninja, an oversupply! I reckon you should just express and keep for when you want a break, but i am guessing it won't reduce the supply, although, not sure if it will increase - it might seeing as expressing is recommended to help increase milk supply

My boobs have done something strange, talking of milk supply. Today I was a bit concerned as my boobs felt much softer than normal not too solid as they normally get when it is feeding time, not much let down sensation and not sure if I even had any milk there . Anyway, Reuben had some milk after around 2 hours or so, and he fell off the latch straight away and was shot in the face by a constant jet of milk!! I think it came out faster than even he was expecting, so its like my breasts now don't need to be outwardly full. He had a great feed, i kept checking and he had a constant mouthful of milk...has this happened to anyone else?

Hi everyone,

It's so nice to read of your moments of loveliness and flashes of a sane future! I have the odd one of those as well - very uplifting.

Baby Beans has a NAME!!! He is Tristan Mallory my surname DH's surname. Yay! It was a spot of joy yesterday to agree on it and toast it (with Diet Coke but never mind).

I have decided that sleep for me has to be a priority so I'm doing what it takes to get it, even if it means co-sleeping. Tristan slept about 2.5 hours in his basket last night which was great, but then started doing a lot of grunting and wriggling in his sleep which disturbed us both. What does grunting and wriggling signify? I would look it up online but I'm not sure how to phrase the question!

He has also been posseting after almost every feed - and not a small amount. Is all this a sypmtom of colic? Would this miraculous gripe water (or infacol) help things?

scarlotti glad to hear you had a 'capable' day. Sounds like you did a great job, and days like that are great for the confidence and the outlook on life.

bbl - if only they could bottle the smell of new baby. I had no idea how intoxicating it was until I had my own. Mmmmmm... it is all things pure and warm and true.

sass congratulations on a name!!! And a great one too, sounds very grand indeed! Reuben does the wiggling/grunting thing in his moses basket. I am not sure it means anything other than he wants mama! For our boy at least. Maybe if Tristan is grumbling, he might be a little uncomfortable? It is worth trying gripe water as it is not harmful. Reuben also grumbles when he lies flat in any manner atm, because of his cough. He also coughs loud and all dramatic like, as if to say 'hey, you know this will choke me' and when I lift him back up I am sure he flashes his peeps at me!

Pav at around 6 weeks your body settles into producing enough for baby, and not too much. Your boobs then go soft but still produce what you need. The solid feeling comes from too much milk being produced. Lots of women mistake the softness feeling for not enough milk and start to introduce top ups, this messes with supply as baby then drinks more from a bottle (easier) than mum and the body gets the signal to produce less. Slippery slope then to milk going.

Ninja expressing will send the signal to your body to produce more. If you have an oversupply then you can try block feeding - where you feed from one breast at a time and don't swap. This will only stimulate one side at a time and so both won't produce milk for that feed if that makes sense? Look at www.kellymom.com for lots of fab info on all sorts of feeding issues. I fed solely from one side at a time for 7 weeks and DS2 is a big boy! I'm quite well endowed though so plenty of storage capacity
I bought my Anita bras from www.yummumummymaternity.co.uk as the shop is near me. I love them, great support esp for sore boob times, and they give me a great shape so I look good in clothes and don't have a mono boob!

Sass congrats on a great name, I love the name Tristan
Grunting and wriggling here when laying down normally means wind. I stuggle to get his up, but find the easiest way is to sit him up and press against his tummy whilst patting his back. I read somewhere that once they're about 3 months they start to expell their wind themselves - hope so!

Infacol is an alternative to gripe water and a bit more palatable!

pav same thing here with the softer boobs i think it's when the supply is just right for baby! i only get the rock hard feeling at night or when i've missed a feed

sass i've mentionned the grunting, wrigling, snorting...to all doctors, nurses etc i've come across for ds1 and ds2. Their answer seems to be that "babies are noisy" (generally said in a patronizing tone of voice!

Anyone elses lo putting on weight like there's no tomorrow. Weighed LO yesterday and he was 6kg so i checked on the growth chart and he would be about off the chart if he was 3 months ...but he only turned 2 months yesterday He doesn't look huge so maybe he's just very tall??

scarlotti oh i only usually feed from one side at a time, that is all he wants! I guess that means I have plenty on each side for him? He likes to feed, have a burp and a doze for about 20 mins, then goes back for the hind milk, where he stays til there is nothing left. He is growing very nicely too! I think the fear of not providing enough if boobs are soft makes sense, i think that is what happened with DD, i worried constantly during her feeding as she did not put on much weight, my boobs were never big, and they went soft too, however she never took a bottle at all, so topups where never an option! And her weight gain was normal for her. Thanks for reassuring me!

just bookmarking. back from Austria in a freezing house, try to update tomorrow but i hope everybody is fine and had a nice start in a happy new year!

Hi guys, I've had a really bad couple of days and I've talked to my mum and DH and we think I might have mild PND and in fact might have had it with DS1 and not sure about DS2. Can I ask anyone who has had it what does it feel like? I've been struggling to feel happy at all about anything, I'm wishing the days away until Toby is older and easier, my stomach has been in knots worrying about various things such as sleep, I've had trouble sleeping myself on and off (worst was Chrstmas Eve / Day - thought I was going to die of sleep deprevation) and also loss of appetite. I'm not sure if this is all just normal reaction to such a huge change in my life, ie having a baby, or not. What do you think? With DS1 I remember being very unhappy for about six months but I thought that was because he was a difficult baby. DS2 I had bad days but felt at the time I was so busy not enough time to dwell too much. I don't know.

Becky why don't you ring your health visitor in the morning? She could come over and talk things through maybe and then you would be clearer? I know people moan about health visitors but I think your health visitor may be the person who would help here.

I think sleep deprivation is a major, major nightmare. (It leaves me really really irritable and unreasonable, rather than weepy or sad, but still enough to make me feel there is something wrong with me.) It sounds as though you are really not getting enough sleep and that has a snowball effect. Can anyone/ a group of people take Toby off your hands for a long stretch of the day regularly for a couple of weeks so you can just try and relax for a bit even if not sleep?

I too have been wishing for this stage to pass and for Hedy to be older and easier. I forgot what a luxury it is to be able to just go for a swim or something! Or to see a film, move freely around without a babe in my arms all the time. I have also been mourning the old family unit, which was just the three of us. I'm sure all these thoughts are not abnormal. Having a dependent newborn is extremely frustrating.

Do you normally get the winter blues? I am sure the weather isn't helping either!

I don't know about pnd but I have had a bout of normal depression in the past and the 'not feeling happy at all about anything' is what it was like. I felt like a stanger to myself, or as if everything had turned black and white, with all the colour drained away. I used to wonder how other people had the energy to DO anything at all because I didn't have ANY! It was not like just feeling a bit stressed or overwhelmed, it was a total lack of energy or joy. If that is how you feel then maybe it could be a bit of depression?

I really feel for you and I hope you get some sleep, and to talk to someone helpful about how you feel.
Big hug! If I lived near you I would stick Hedy in the sling, your Toby in your pram and walk the pair of them around all afternoon tomorrow so you could rest. But it will have to be a cyber hug instead sorry!

stranger, not stanger!!

ps BBL you can do that edinburgh post natal depression questionnaire between 6-8 wks post delivery- I reckon they say don't take it till then because if everyone took it earlier, everyone would end up being diagnosed with pnd! I don't know how to post a link but it is here
www.fresno.ucsf.edu/pediatrics/downloads/edinburghscale.pdf

Wook thanks so much for your kind words and the offer of a walk! A cyber hug is enough

I wonder whether perhaps what I am feeling is normal and just still part of the baby blues. I don't know. It is the anxiety in my stomach that's the worst thing and the sleep. I have this fear of not being able to cope and that is stopping me sleeping well at night and then I worry that I won't cope with not enough sleep and it gets worse and worse. I'm worried about doing the school runs next week and being home alone without DH. Strange though but I did three weeks before Christmas and was fine. So not sure why I am so anxious about it now. I might talk to the HV as she is coming next week anyway.

BBL
Can you break your anxiety down then think through it logically?

First, as you say, you can cope, have coped previously and do cope- you are very capable.

Second, you seem to be afraid most of 'not coping'. What would 'not being able to cope' entail?
e.g.
-crying?
-losing temper/ shouting?
-kids being late/ clothes on back to front/no packed lunch?
-doing something crazy/moment of madness?

Now how bad would it be if these happened, really? And how likely is the last, really?

I don't know, maybe that could help? anxiety can spiral away from all reason very quickly so you need to bring it down a peg ot two.

I'm afraid of making myself ill through worry and lack of sleep and not being able to look after everyone. Anxiety is making me feel sick and I am most worried about being sick. Daft, I know.

Well it may be daft but it's a real anxiety for you at the moment.
From the outside it just sounds as if there's too much pressure on you/ you are putting too much pressure on yourself and you need to put your own needs first.
What about dh and mum?

DH is back to work tomorrow and my mum is 70 - she's great emotional support but can't really give huge amounts of practical help. I think I just need to 'pull myself together' and get on with things and accept that these few weeks are going to be hard and turn the negative in my head to a positive again. I did with DS1 when I felt like this. I had a few wobbles like this but got over it. I wish I'd known about mumsnet in those days. You guys are a lifeline to me!

becky no advice but you're always so kind and supportive to the rest of us, I really hope you can get some help or reassurance here or in RL.

I also worry about not coping. I think for me it is the anticipation of not coping, rather than that I am actually not coping - could that be the same for you? I'm lucky in that I've had 1.5 days alone with the 2 DCs since James was born 4 weeks ago, but this is making me more stressed that I can't do it alone. I'm just back from my parents today (where I went because DH had to work) and my mum offered to come back and help me out this week. I declined because I feel like I'm getting into a cycle of convincing myself I can't do it, when, as wook says, you just do.

Maybe it will be easier when DS1 and 2 are back at school. You can sleep during Toby's naps and then you won't be so worried about whether you get a good night's sleep or not. Can you ask DH to help a bit more - take DCs to school or something?

I wish I'd known about mumsnet when DD was born too.

Also, the weather is making me fed up - you wait years for snow, but then getting stuck indoors for more than a day makes me really down.

BBL I had mild pnd after DS1. I think it was made worse by the sleep deprivation as I was trying to do all things for all people. Was still getting up in the morning so DD saw me at breakfast and wasn't napping in the day. Bf didn't work and I beat myself up about that and took it as a failing. I felt as though I was just going through the motions with most things and not getting any enjoyment out of anything. The only thing that kept me going was DS1, I got out of bed in the morning for him.
For me it kept on that way and eventually I went on ad's. I was only on them for about 3 or 4 months and then had some counselling after.
Whilst I'm tired this time too, I feel brighter about life and the future. I want to get fit, am looking after myself more in terms of make up/hair etc. and get joy from things.
Which one of those do you relate to more? Pnd doesn't have to be serious to have an effect. Wook is right, speak to your HV. She will do the questionnaire that the link gives you, and any score 12 and over is the start of pnd. They also have support groups etc. that they can put you in touch with which can really help. I didn't do that as I was back at work.
Do speak to her and do the questionnaire. It's not a case of snap yourself out of it if it's mild pnd, you will come out of it eventually but will have a miserable time in the interim. It may well just be tiredness clouding everything - if you get a low score then you'll know it's just the sleep deprivation and then you and your DH can come up with a solution that works for you and your family. If the score is higher, then you can get the help you need and then life will feel much easier for you.
Sending big hugs your way x

Well the first sounds very familiar, esp the BF issue, which I've had to deal with with each DS to the extent that I don't even let myself think about it, I find it hard to read posts on here about BFing. But it's only really been going on since Christmas - the feeling of anxiety and going through the motions as you describe. Perhaps it is just Christmas? Perhaps if I give it a week and see how I feel then. I'm hoping that the return to school will put some order into our lives and I might feel better then. Truth is I love routine, I love order, I love predictability and a new baby equals disorder and unpredictability and it really unsettles me.

Sorry to go on about myself, everyone!!!! Sorry.

bbl i would echo scarlotti- if you can pull yourself together/snap out of it then it's maybe not depression, but if you are depressed you either won't be able to or it will be a massive uphill struggle that you shouldn't have to put yourself through when so much help could be available.
Dh won't be there to help in the day but are there things he can do when he gets back?
Whose help can you pull in as well as dh and mum?