Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

Whew, she is finally asleep. Went down at quarter to 8, still grizzling after being awake since 11 with 3 mini-naps of 15mins. ARGH! Praying for a better night and off to bed in a min.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts re bottles of ebm. skorpion I think part of the problem the first time was that she was too hungry and cross that it wasn't the same as usual! Guess I'll keep trying. True enough, everything she has disliked at first - nappy changing, baths, massage, she is now fine with so maybe perseverance is the key.

Re reusable nappies. We are properly onto them now as Rosa's growth spurt seems to have made her big enough for them now. They are still quite bulky, she looks a bit like a sumo baby next to all her wee chums! But I do feel much happier using them. We have disposables for night time still as the reusables are still more likely to leak as can't be on so tight. Through day changing them every 3 hrs or so, in middle of feeds. Been using washable wipes from the start, along with disposables too for bag out and about. No nappy rash at all, touch wood.

Right. Night night mummies. Wishing you all lots of sleeeeeeeep

Sleep well Raggie fingers crossed you have a looooooong sleep ahead of you.

Sorry haven't posted for a bit..its mad looking after 2..those with 3 in awe and bow down to you..

BBL I hope for sleep for you everyday. is it getting better??

Scarlotti sorry to hear you're down..i hope things improve

Raggie here's to sleep.. I hate those 15 mins mini naps..Charlotte has had 2 bad day's sleep which means she feeds less and is more angry..such a vicious circle..

Laugs funny you should mention DD1..the guilt is killing me..on top of that I have to be bad cop as she is playing up and i have to be strict. She hated Charlotte in the beginning but is slowly accepting her and wondering where she is when not in the room. However after 5pm its a complete nightmare. I have to feed and bath both and its a battle of screaming baby who is over tired and hungry and DD1 who needs fed and batheed and i can't really keep cbeebies on all the time!!! its really tiring and i feel like such a mediocre mum. We have to realise that soon she will forget this time and both will learn to share you ( I hope)..what do you think??

maman I hope work is good for you..

Pav no wipes at home..wow I'm impressed..I use wipes and never had probs yet... I have to thicken Charlottes milk with this Nestergel stuff which makes her poo really sticky and gooey so cotton wool just won't do unless i plaster vaseline on her bum every change..

Babies are tiring aren't they??? DH off skiing tomorrow for 5 days..its alright for some. I am so jealous.

Hello again,

Have just spent half an hour reading through trying to catch up!

Pav I just wanted to say, you sound like an amazing mum and you have made me realise that I need to try harder with my boys, thanks for sharing.

Well I am really busy at the minute going to several different groups, I have also just signed up to start a 12 week course to become a Peer supporter to help others with breast feeding.

I agree sleepless babies are very tiring!

Oh forgot to say as part of the peer support course I get given my own knitted Boob

AHHH I finally find the time to read and reply and the bloody damn bloody internet crashes. GAH.

Tigger that's great. I have a few friends who do that and they find it very fulfilling.

Sleepless thanks for thinking of me I am getting better slowly. I now take half a dose of herbal tablet at the moment and sleep not brilliant but trying to get back to a stage where I don't need any help at all - just a herbal cup of tea at night is the next stage! Given that this time last week I was still taking horrible diazepam that's not bad going I think. I just need to keep reminding myself that this is a temporary blip (although postnatal insomnia is scarily common - some people suffer for months with it) and I will get better. I am so lucky to have a wonderful DH who has been looking after Toby when he wakes in the night. He's a total star.

Morning all

Hope people got more sleep last night? I didn't do too badly considering I'd been feeding hourly since 2pm!

sleepless you're a fab mum, not mediocre. Have you read that book 'What Mothers Do' that Laugs suggested? It's brilliant and will give you a confidence boost.

I had to go out to the shops a few times yesterday just to get him to drop off to sleep, so he could recharge his batteries. Bedtime seemed to go a little better last night as got DS1 to bring his book up to me and I read it whilst feeding DS2. It was really nice and cosy so I might make that part of our routine.

BBL so pleased to hear you're on the mend. It is a slow process but you're doing so well with it so hang on in there. Support around you is the key to recovery and sounds like your dh is being fabulous. Well done Mr BBL!

Found out yesterday that I can apply for that job and that the salary will be do-able, just, so am going for it! We will just have to cope financially - being that close to home on a permanent job is just too good an oppotunity to miss. Am getting quite excited by the prospect so hope I get it now! Only worry is that the interview will be next week - have to find a way of getting some more sleep in between now and then so my brain can function!!!

tigger oh dear, i must have come across so smug, i did not mean to. I am not an amazing mum, just a mum who is doing ok i think! DD gets her fair share of cbeebies, as does Reuben In fact, DH and I were talking yesterday about how different the parenting is/will be with Reuben than it was with Bella. For example as I was saying about wetwipes, none at all for her as a baby, Reuben gets them when out and about now, i did not want DD to have formula AT ALL, this time i am more relaxed about the odd formula bottle to give me a break, and DD did not watch TV until she was much much older, maybe the odd brightly coloured programme, or if she was asleep in the room while we watched something, but never in front of the tv herself and never anything older than her age (even now i feel DH lets her watch things out of her age range, or too many american shows) Reuben on the other hand is a keen fan of scoobie doo . DH has banned him from watching footie with him though on account of Arsenal losing both matches they have 'watched' together (first one being when he was only 26 hours old!).

I had a comment (not a very nice one actually) from a friend the other day about how little discipline we use with our DD, she is unrully and this friend's partner called her a thug, only in jest but even so...she has a 5month old so DH said, 'wait til she is 3.5, we will have this conversaton again!' all because we did not shout at her for accidentally spilling a glass of juice when out for brekky in a cafe a week ago, and for her continually getting up from her chair. I was (and still am) quite upset actually, and it has actually made me question my parenting a little as i wonder if others think this too, and that maybe we are too slack. But i hate shouting, and i see discipline as 'teaching' not 'punishment' (it means teach doesn't it? Punishment is instant (and sometimes appropriate but hard for me to do!) teaching takes time and patience.

Another long winded post eh? I am such an amazing mother, i am still in bed

You are all amazing mothers. It is sooo hard when you are tired, have a new baby who needs attention NOW, etc, to cope with a stroppy toddler. Don't beat yourself up about anything - DH says to me that the fact that you worry about getting cross / not paying enough attention etc to your child shows how much you care. If you were a bad mother, you wouldn't care at all. I second advice to read that book: it is excellent.

I go to a transition into motherhood group for people with different levels of PND, from mild like me to more extreme, and it is excellent. And there is one woman there who is starting to get on my boobies a bit because she just uses it to have a constant moan about her children and her partner. She doesn't seem capable of seeing the positive in her children. They are just badly behaved all the time in her eyes and out to make her life awful. I feel sorry for her. I have the opposite experience with my issues: my good moments in the day revolve around DS1, DS2 and DS3. I couldn't get through this without them

sleepless aw I did not see your bit about being a mediocre mum! You are so not! Absolutely! Even now, they won't need to forget this bit, they will not see the feelings we have they will see their mama's doing things for them and with them, because that is what they will remember, that is what they will want to remember. They will not remember negatives, because children are general positive creatures, they will remember their sibling crying perhaps and mama giving them lovely baths, they won't recall any struggle with mama's time. Same with activities. If we do just one thing with them each day, they will remember these things, not what we did not do. Even if that is reading a book while feeding the baby. Or brushing their hair and making it pretty, or walking and pushing them on a swing. We cannot always do big and grand things with them. Maybe think about the memories you have as a young child (they are all positive), that is what i do when i find things hard. (i seem to recall spending a lifetime in the kitchen licking out bowls of cake mix or using leftover pastry as playdoh, reality is it was not that often, she worked full time and had 4 kids).

That does not stop me worrying endlessly that i am doing it all wrong either, or the days when DD seems to aimlessly wander around the house playing with toys being told 'later baby' will have a negative affect on her.

All of us on this thread, we are all good mums. What i have come to understand about us all here, is that the very fact we are here, seeking advice, sharing our worries, that very fact makes you good parents as you care. You give enough of a crap to not think we know it all and get on with it without advice or support.

bbl lol x-posted and you said it much more succinctly than me!

Will read latest posts in a bit, but for anyone needing a laugh I recommend this article, are you ready to have kids?, number 4 is my favourite...

LOL i like number 2...it is very topical right now in this family, we have a couple of friends who are so like this, and have given us some 'advice' on our wild child and her table manners they now have a 5 month old so only 3yrs to go!

LOL at 'sing songs in the dark until 4am'

Morning All!

Raggie I agree with the other ladies, try having your DH give the bottles until your LO is taking them easily. We use Advent bottles & teats with the matching hand pump and I try and offer a bottle at the night feed at least twice a week. All a bit haphazzard at the mo though - if I'd got a fab night out to look forward to

Scarlotti Very excited for you about the prospect of working so much nearer home. It's something I've had the luck of doing before and, wow, it makes life so much easier. Commuting sucks. Really hope your DH gets behind you more. He's not got long to get his head around it if the interviews are next week.

tigger Yay knitted boob! What a great thing to do. What happens after the course? How do you meet the women to help?

Oh Pav, how goes the search for a nap? Have you hunted one down yet?

I had a good chat with my boss yesterday. It's looking positive for me going half time and starting back in August. DH a little bit jealous, but he earns more, is keen for Jim to have parental care for as long as possible and realistic about the best way of doing it. Plus I know he likes having so many of the domestic chores done without him having to think about them. If I ever iron his shirts though I want one of you to come over to Bishops Stortford and give me a good slap...

oops raggie. That sentence should end ' I'd be more focused about out. Totally agree about the wanting to be more than non-stop mummy'

Oh and after spending an hour in the dentist's chair on Monday preping for a crown I've got to go back today cos the temporary one broke into a dozen bits when I chomped down on my fruit 'n' fibre this morning. Joy. Rapture. Unbridled happiness.

reuben has dropped from 50th centile to between 50th and 25th, where he was at birth. He was poorly for couple of weeks though. It is ok/normal right? and he is not on a bf chart.

venus ouch! your poor mouth! serves you right for chowing a fruit n nut eh? , reuben did 5 hours last night so i fell asleep on the sofa first time in months, then bed for midnight, awake at 4am, not so bad. dh took him this morning, but i had a coughing fit so did not get back to sleep. i feel ok now though, so 4 hours is more than i was getting!

Sorry I'm not responding to posts. When I get the chance I will have a read through.

We seem to be on a growth spurt here (12wks old), well I think that's what it is.. I'm feeding 2hourly, sometimes more. He isn't sleeping too well because of the feeding, esp during the day. I wondering though if this coincides with him being more aware of himself. Such as not wanting to be put down without having a few tears, seems happiest being carried in my arms. I think my baby carrier will have to come out. I hoped not to use it as my back is sensitive and he now weighs over 13lbs. Been up since 5am and trying to finish my tax return inbetween the 15 min naps! My fault for leaving my tax to the last min! Sorry for the me post.. I'm still in my dressing gown wanting a shower and to get dressed and go out the house. I think we all need some fresh air. Oh he's sleeping.. off to the shower I go! catch up later.

Venus, thanks for the link even if it is now too late

scarlotti, that sounds like the perfect solution. I hope you will get that job.

tigger, where do you take the course? That sounds really interesting. I wonder if a firsttimer can do this kind of work too.
I was already wondering if I should start doing something charitylike for mums and babies as I really want to go back working but I just can not leave Paula with someone else... (yes, I am slightly paranoid, I know). I was even wondering if giving language classes for mums with babies would be an option. I had seen that in a programme in Austria but I guess the teacher didn't bring her own child.
bottles, it is always my husband trying to give her the (warm) bottle of ebm , I'm always leaving the room but she never takes more than 10ml. I think we will try with another brand. And if that doesn't work, I'll leave the house (but stay in the area)

reusable nappies and wipes. We use reusable nappies and wipes when at home, they go in the bucket and if they are really dirty I wash them occasionally at 90°. The wipes I have are from Austria so I can not really help recommending. They would be great though as more like a glove and you can put your hand in.
When we are out and at night we use disposable nappies and we also use very sensitive disposable wipes if we are out. They are called "Jackson Reece" and are really great. (can't compare with other brands though). I think they are only made from natural ingredients and do not contain any alcohol,... I buy them online but there should be a couple of shops were you can get them too.

Pav Sounds to me like you have the balance just right with your dd. We don't try and keep DS1 at the table once he's finished as the ants in his pants make the rest of the meal unbearable for the rest of us
I like test number 2! A friend of mine recently told me that when we were at Uni and I used to go home on the train, he thought I was letting DD run wild up and down the carriage and always thought I should have made her sit down. He said it was only when he had his own children that he could appreciate how well I'd done in stopping her from having screaming fits
Wait until your friend's child becomes mobile and then see how they cope - easy to give out advice when your child is unable to move on their own and stays where you put them! You'll get your chance to bring out your smug smile very soon!!!

I have my interview now on Monday [aargh emoticon] so have asked dh to take the day off. Need him to allow me to nap in the morning and then take Ioan off my hands so I can hopefully regenerate some brain cells then go to the interview without sick/milk/snot on my suit!!

I've used wipes since he was a month old and am in disposables. Would have loved to do the resuables, and even bought a few different ones to try, but decided full time working with 3dc's is enough on my plate without washing nappies and wipes as well.

If anyone wants to try a few different styles, I have some tots bots and motherease nappies up for grabs.

BBL DS1 was my reason for getting out of bed when I had PND. I felt that I had an easier bout of PND as I still adored my boy, I do feel for women who's symptoms include disliking their child. Must increase the guilt either at the time or after when you're better. I think you're doing great

Fruit same here, feeding 2 hourly today and if it's anything like yesterday we'll move on to hourly in about an hour's time. Am hoping it's only for a few days as some of the old posts on mn seem to indicate.

Well, the ups and downs. DID manage a good night of sleep last night - she nodded off til quarter past 3 so that was 7.5 hours! A record! And put her in pushchair to go to shops at noon and she's still in there snoozing. Woo! How long is it ok to leave them in there (and carseats etc) now they're a bit older? I take the advice with a pinch of salt but obviously don't want to do anything that will be damaging. Thinking of going to Scotland in a few weeks and if drive - might mean more hours for rest breaks then driving!

scarlotti good luck for the interview!

venus Ow for your tooth! We have avent hand pump too - will give it another try now got much better at hand expressing perhaps that will improve too

Are you ready to have kids? I love 'after 9 months remove 10% of the beans' as I'm feeling the belly now.

Oh and mr sleepless When is your 5 day holiday without the LOs demands sleepless?!

BBL your comment about the lovely moments with DSs made me melt. Glad your group is good, save for the raher annoying women...

Blergh. Dentist was okay. Seems he just forgot to tell me last time that I am to imagine my tooth is made of glass and not to eat toast or cereal or anything with any bloody texture with it until the perm. crown is on. Oh lovely.

Raggie Woop woop on the long sleep! Horribly jealous. James keeps forgetting that he can sleep for 5rs at a go and that the morning doesn't really start until 6.30am lately. We're driving to Perth on Sat (after overnight stop in Sheffield) like you I think it's going to be a looooong drive. Where are you going?

venus Both my parents live in Perthshire! Mum in Crieff, where I grew up and my dad's in Dunblane. Is your DH from Perth? Overnight stops is a good plan. Will stop in Edinburgh but that's not really halfway... Hm, have friend in Yorkshire so that could work.

BTW loving the name Jim! DH's bro Jamie has now become Uncle Jim, which suits him very well.

Feeding LO now, but she only just woke up. Think have been a bit spoilt by how well she sleeps usually, at night anyway, as she has been resisting dropping off a lot recently at bedtime and DH & I are: . Haven't got the daytimes sorted yet, obviously!

Yes. DH from Perth so off to see his Mum & sister for a few days. I love it up there. Sheff isn't really on the best route from East Herts, but it's my mum's home. Think I need to persuade her to move to Cumbria or Northumberland! Quite nervous of such a long journey, but we won't have to do it too often. Actually, saying that we'll be up there at least once more this year, my SIL is expecting her first baby in May. They've been TTC for several years (and had two MCs) so lots of excitement now that 20wk scan is behind them.

With you on the daytime randomness. Holding on to the hope that time will solve all things...