Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

wat i meant to say was....Morning All first!

Pav luckily my dream cm is a chain-smoking drunk so looks like I'll be all right after all!
Really though, I had no idea it could be so difficult. That must have been rough on you. 2 years of waiting is a hell of a long time in a child's life. My town is small and in the commuter belt and there are, apparently, only 3 nurseries to begin with - at least one of which is too far for me to get to - so I expect it'll be hard here too. God, and that's not even factoring in the baby boom... Anyone else out there looking into this for the first time too?

Well, have to get my job/hours sorted out first. Not really looking forward to this meeting with my boss at 2 - so much depends on it. At least James slept well last night (after several ropey ones) so I feel able to have an intelligent conversation.

Oh, and Morning All too!

hi all, sorry for not posting for a bit, when i've had a free min i've been on farmville. tis too addictive. Annabelle's 8 week checkup has been cancelled again, the dr is sick today so its booked for next week. she will be 11 weeks by the time she gets it.

we had a bit of an accident yesterday, ds accidentally hit Annabelle with the wii wheel when playing MarioKart so she screamed for about ten mins, which was horrible but was fine after that, luckily. ds was so upset he'd hurt his sister, we just cuddled him too. everything else is going relatively well.

Morning everyone!

Thanks for all the advice re sleep. I went to bed at 9.30am, Millie didn't want a feed so I left her in dh's capable hands, I have no idea what time she went to sleep! I had to feed her at 11pm, she was in the cot beside my bed and dh was snoring away beside me! She fell asleep downstairs at about 8.30pm but needed a nappy change and to be put in her growbabg so we had to wake her up! Tonight I am going to make sure she has a fresh nappy on and is growbagged up before she falls asleep and then put her to bed. I think we are going to have to put her in her own room soon as she fidgits in the night and it wakes me up. I feel a bit sad about doing it though so may put it off for a few more weeks!

pav hope you are feeling better today.

scarlotti hope you are feeling less tired today. Feel free to vent here unless you are worried about privacy?

Oops, meant 9.30pm! although am would be nice!

trikken poor Annabelle and ds, how sweet that he was worried about his little sister though, bless him!

Morning all

Agree with what the others have said re childcare searching. I put Ioan's name down at DS1's nursery when I was pg, and have just asked the council for a list of child care providers as DS1 goes to school in september and I'll need wrap around care that will do a school pick up then. Ideally I'd have both boys in the same place too.

Venus you need to think about what sort of care you want. It's a personal choice.
I prefer a childminder until they're about 18 months as it's a home from home setting and probably more like what they're used to. Nursery then from 18 months as it's a great social introduction for them and prepares them for school.
Others I know prefer nursery from day 1 for all sorts of reasons, one friend wanted it so that her DD didn't get too attached to one other carer. Nurseries will normally be busier and more hectic so you need to take James' personality into account too. DS1 hated crowds and loud noises when he was little so a childminder was perfect for us initially.

Funny you talking about jobs, I've just been given the heads up on a local permanent job with my old boss who's lovely. Going to explore it as would be lovely to not have the stress of finding a new contract every 3 months with the boys so small. One of the offices is at the end of my road too so perfect for 2/3 days a week when I'd be there. Other days would be in Surrey so not too far a commute (45 mins ish).
It's caused a bit of upset at home though as I'd have to take a drop in salary. One we could accomodate but DH doesn't want to curb our lifestyle, but also doesn't want to pay for it either it's always been me earning the large salary and we've benefitted from it, but I now feel my sanity and stress levels would be better if I slowed down and am happy to take a drop in lifestyle to accomodate. It's brought issues to the fore again - I am always the one that does everything, arranges everything etc. and DH just tags along for the ride. Wouldn't mind if roles reversed he'd do the same or support me when I needed it, but recent events are showing this not to be the case.
Oh, and by reduce our lifestyle I just mean making our lunches for work instead of buying them, and not being able to buy clothes all the time etc. He seems to think that this will create more stress ... it doesn't bother me in the slightest as I've been doing it for months now to afford to stay off (I pay for my own maternity leave) so it's his stress levels that he can see rising
Now you can see why I'm getting the hump every now and then!

helips also thinking that his own room might be calling as he's starting to wake me up ... but like you I don't want him to go!!

trikken hope both are ok now. We had something similar a few weeks back when ds fell on him getting into the bath. It's sweet when they seem so sorry - bodes better than them laughing I guess!!

I keep loosing you all!!! waves Hope you're okay. Am off to try and catch up now...

scarlotti you know, some of the things you talk about re your relationship resonate here with mine. I have always been the main earner, organise everything, responsible for ensuring bills are paid despite joint account, little thing like dd's nursery hours need changing and i have not had a chance to do it (or keep forgetting) i keep reminding DH to do it when he takes her in. He does not, then says 'have you not changed her hours yet, when you doing that?' . I have on occasion felt he is in it for the ride, and how would he cope if he had to do it all himself? I don't mean like housework or childcare. He does not have a problem spending my money now he is working, or feeling it is problematic him not contributing, as we manage (i make us manage). But i AM cutting my hours back in August, and I am working it on the assumption he is not working. I will accept the consequences of that, and he will have to figure it out himself!

venus it was not too bad with DD in the other nursery, she was only in 1.5 days per week, and I often nipped out of work early/worked from home so got her earlier. They were not bad, but as she reached i guess 18 month-2years and needed more stimulation rather than hugs and bum changes, i felt less happy with what they were offering. The change was probably an ideal time actually as she moved as she moved up to pre-school, and that was my biggest concern as I did not think they could provide what she woul need well enough, and i did not want her doing more hours there (she does 2.5 now in prep for school). I probably would have been happier with a childminder when she was a baby, but it was not an option for us due to no spaces.

Hi all.

scarlotti the sling has arrived and it looks great. Thank you again. Off to practice now.

oh joy.

Gone to bed (stayed in bed) this morning/mid morning/afternoon whatever. Friend comes around with her 5 month old baby to use our printer. I told DH before she got here that i would not be getting up. Once she was here, he asked if i wanted a cuppa. I had just got Reuben to sleep and told him i would be going to sleep myself.

Just doze off. Cue screaming baby from next door (our bedroom is in the front room) and lots of loud laughing and cooing to try to calm her down.

So i have yet to have a decent nap. Ergain. Grr.

Our bedroom is not in the front room - it is next to the front room !

Afternoon ladies!

Had Anya at the baby clinic today. Spoke to hv about her milk intake and she has suggested changed her teat to the medium flow to see if she takes more in each feed and therefore go longer between feeds. SHe said she may have to suck so hard to get the milk out that she is getting tired and giving up before she is actually full up, so we'll see if that works.

I also spoke to her about cradle cap BBL as I've been using dentinox to no effect. She said to rub olive oil all over the affected area at night, leave it on overnight, then using a rough(ish) flannel to wash it off the next day to rub the dry skin away. So we'll give that a go too.

raggie I teach primary- Year 2. How about you?

Helips I am getting my turn at me time this weekend. My friend and I are having a mini spa day on saturday including a nice lunch out so looking forward to that. Although I don't know if dh will cope as well as I did with both dcs. He does not have the patience I have!

claired21 I am still using infacol-Anya is 10 weeks. It is still helping. Will probably stop in a couple of weeks.

Pav how frustrating! Hope you manage to catch a few zzz before Reuben wakes up again

Tok We use tommee tippee bottles for expressed milk and the health visitor said to start with the teats for 3m+. I stopped the infacol last night and the sickness has disappeared! Ethan's just over 8wks now so hopefully he has learned how to deal with the wind better.

Sickness has been replaced with bouts of screaming as he has a little nappy rash. I feel awful! This is the motivation for me to eventually start using my washable nappies and wipes. It's a camomile tea solution they recommend for use with the wipes so this will help heal the rash hopefully. Poor wee guy.

Ethan was overtired this morning and wouldn't settle for a nap. I eventually just put him down still crying so I could dry my hair... Lo and behold the baby is fast asleep! What is it about white noise that sends them to sleep?!

Hello!

I'm missing chatting with you lovely ladies, but never seem to have any time at the moment.

Those with 2 or more, how are your older children coping? DD has been so well behaved with James, but she's started looking quite sad... I'm worrying about her. The fact that I am over-tired isn't helping as I quite want to cry myself. Any suggestions? I am just desperate to have some nice time on our own together, but I don't seem to manage it. James is still feeding hourly whenever we're at home...

scarlotti can you work out a budget as to how your finances will change if you change jobs, to show DH that it's not that big a deal? It sounds like a perfect job. I'd especially like being so close to home when Ioan is small. Also, you are swapping less income for a secure, permanent income, which is probably worth it if you are the breadwinner in this climate.

Poor Ethan claired21 Nappy rash is horrible for them. Bepanthum cream is excellent for clearing the rash up. Or if you prefer natural remedie, as well as the chamomile tea, you can use cornflour. Just sprinkle it over the where the rash is and it should clear up in 24 hours. Also, lots of nappy free kicking about time helps!

laugs DD is similar age to your LO. She too is great with Reuben. She loves him and wants to be with him all the time. But she is clearly missing mama. She cries out in her sleep more, in fact, she never used to at all until i was pg, and I am sure this is more developmental, but i linked it to first my ill health in pg and now Reuben being here. Although I do suspect its developmental as much as anything else. I also worry she is unhappy, i worry we shout at her more, i feel terribly guilty that we have taken our time from her. Then i look at her face when Reuben smiles at her and I remember what she will get from this. The guilt, it is normal i think. And perhaps the sadness is your projections? Not saying it is, just a thought, especially being so tired. I feel bad saying 'not now baby, I am feeding Reuben' or 'in a minute' or 'i am tired' (try not to tell her that often).

She is great with Reuben but she acts up a bit for us (a lot i think) she is being more 'angry' i guess in particular with DH. She takes it out on him more and is clingy with me. She won't have him see to her in the middle of the night, wants me to put her to bed, wants me in the morning, when she never used to be like this. Dh is compensating by perhaps given her little slack (boundaries he says) and I am probably compensating by being a bit too lenient, giving her lots of slack.

What I am doing, and you might well be doing the same/similar is trying to find some time with just her, ie baking. On thursday evening I got everything ready for her to bake with me, and on friday we made cake together while Reuben was asleep, then she 'washed up' while I fed him in the kitchen. I also try to get her involved, i let her wash his tummy at bath time, i let her undo the sticky on the nappies if not pooey, she picks his outfits sometimes. I try to get her to cuddle in with us when I feed him and I will read her a story, i give her constant cuddles and kisses and tell her how she is my special little girl. If I need to sleep, i sometimes put a DVD on in our bedroom and get her to snuggle and watch it while i doze, rarely happens though! I try really really hard to smile when i want to cry, to look awake when I want to sleep. Where i would with her crawl into bed and sleep with her as a baby, now i get up and build her train tracks with her. I force myself to. Like this morning at 6:30am. Exhausted, unwell and I was playing trains, although in reality, i hardly said anything! I also try to go out, fresh air makes me feel less tired and DD loves to run. DH takes her swimming as normal each week and she does nursery as normal so her weekly routine is kept as consistent as possible. And I shower her with affection.

I probably have not said anything here you don't already know. But wanted to add my support to you, having more than one is hard, and I force myself to do things i would never have done before so as to show 'normality'.

Oh what I meant to say laugs about the baking - i did a simple recipe, and got it ready so she pretty much 'made it', so if Reuben needed me i could see to him without the kitchen being trashed. It was a recipe that took about 20 mins to actually do with everything prepared the night before, and DD did 'pouring and mixing' and i finished the mixing off.

And just remember, she has had 3 years of your time exclusively and that is something you cannot take away, even now with sharing most of your time with your new son.

I forgot about Reuben's jabs! I went to clinic for weighing, and got there at just before 3pm. HV said 'you are an hour late!' i looked at her confused 'between 2-3pm is weighing isn't it?' i asked. 'you had injections and 8wk check at 2pm!' I thought it was thursday! So they saw me, the nurse and Dr, all looking at me, and making me feel so high, including DH 'oh pavlov!! for god sakes woman! will i ever get her back?' [cheek!], so poor boy has been jabbed.

Burns Supper was good, thanks for asking venus! It was just a few friends round but I read Tam O Shanter and we all had a laugh as it's about menfolk getting drunk, losing the time and forgetting about their darling wives at home. Ahem. And did you know you can get 'veggie' haggis? It's chestnuts and spices and oatmeal I think and even more delicious than the real stuff IMO, embarrassingly enough. I don't even like whisky, what a poor Scot I am!

TOK I teach primary too - mainly UKS2 but have been all over. I resigned my position in London as we moved just before Rosa was born. Going to be weird looking for a whole new job having been out of it for a while. And I loved my old school, which I'd been at since NQT year.

Wondered if I could ask advice of those breastfeeding re expressing - did your DCs accept a bottle straight away? And if not, did they eventually? I know there are one or two who've said their's never took one (helips?) but I'm wondering if anyone thinks she will eventually.

Also, does anyone not give ebm? There's been so much talk about here but I haven't managed to give her a bottle so far...and I have a rash of really good friends' 30ths coming up that I really want to go to or else I'll just feel like there's nothing to me except mummy .

Went to singing class with LO this morning. Was good but since then she has only had 2 catnaps of less than 20 mins each and is clearly exhausted but won't sleep! Even rocking her in the bouncer now with my foot is not working! And now it's basically bedtime, well not really, but if she snoozes off now she might not wake for hours and I really wanted to give her a bath as she's been sick lots today ...argh!!! Need DH to come home and put things in perspective for me - if she snoozes now, that's great, don't worry about anything else right?!?

Sorry, sleep deprivation'll do this to a person as we all know...

raggie my DD is resisting the bottle but I am trying to give her one bottle of formula every day using the mamm teats, so far only works when she is asleep but hoping she will get the hang of it...ideally by friday as have a big party to go to!!

DD1 is 3 in march and think she is feeling the effect of DD2 more now than the first few weeks, I feel really sorry for her and guilty when smiling at my angelic cooing baby thinking u were never like this! however she drives me demeneted and is a right tantruming madam so I find myself being very cross with her..she is also like velcro and i can't leave her sight..its a hard one, read somewhere that is takes 4 months for them adjust..2 to go..

I have been feeding hourly all afternoon! Am getting tired and a bit sore. 12 week spurt joys. The only way I could get him to sleep was to take him out, so he could rest enough to then eat again
Touch wood we seem to have a lull in proceedings so might attempt a bath. raggie why not give her a going over with some wipes and then if she falls asleep then she can stay asleep for the night.
We've had a few days of overtiredness and then screams for an hour in the last few nights so know how you feel.

Laugs if the money works out I'll be taking the job whether dh likes it or not. The bigger issue with us is that he seems to expect me to provide without feeling he has to contribute himself, not just with money but with time, chores, child care .. the list is endless

raggie I use tommee tippee bottles and Lucy's not showing any signs of confusion, she'll happily take it and go on the boob as well. I may be just lucky I guess... Or she was so hungry when I tried the first time that she didn't care where her milk came from. Could you get DH to feed her from the bottle, she may associate you with boobs so expect nothing else. I'm not sure how you feel about formula - this was the first bottle feed for Lucy - maybe it was so different from b-milk? Not sure, clutching at straws a bit...

claire I'm thinking of braving the washables, too. Did you buy wipes? I got a sample of fleece from a sewing shop today to check for absorbency, as I'm thinking it would be cheaper to buy in bulk. Hope LO's bum gets better soon, poor mite. It must be so uncomfortable for them. I use sudocrem btw.

raggie I'm tommee tippee too (ooo alliteration, maybe I do still have functioning braincells) and we've never had a problem. Although I don't pump daily so could potentially run out of milk in the freezer but try to pump when ive missed a feed, so directly after a night out and that replenishes the supply. I'm surviving so far on 3-4 feeds in the freezer.

skorpion yes the wipes we have are terry towelling, bought from thenappylady website. I think it was 6 packs of 6 for £7 or thereabouts. They go in the bucket to be washed with the nappies so seem simple enough for home but might stick to a packet in the nappy bag. Ethan really screamed when I used pampers sensitive with aloe vera wipes, no screaming today with cotton wool and water. Made me wonder how harsh those wipes are...

oh i wrote a whole entire post and stopped to read a story to dd, then dh got rid of it all to get a take away menu up !

So i will be quicker. i shall practice my non-waffling:

Laugs you know you were talking about other children, and i posted. To add - this evening DD has refused anything her daddy did/said/wanted to do/say. collected her from nursery, she did not want to collect him from friends house, he was not allowed in the car - cue much yelling hyperventilating and tears. He was not allowed to get her out, i had to shut the door and re-open before she woul get out. Bedtime stories - eventually agreed, but only if i red it first, and only that book not this one, and no kisses, and not allowed to...oh it goes on! It was quite comical really and DH tried hard not to take it personally.

I also had to sticky tape a box around her dairylea dunkers back together as she wanted to open them and I dared to touch the corner, and thus broke it, apparantly , the only way she would stop crying is if i used 'sillytape' to fix it!

Bottles - i fee ebm mostly, but also use sma easypeasy bottles, cant remember the name of them, come in little glass jars. He is fine with those, or we use Avent, only because they happened to be on offer when i bought them! He is fine with them, or as fine as i think he would be with any others. He has moods when he will take a bottle, and times when he won't. If he is overtired he only wants boob. DD on the other hand refused, after taking a minimum topup in the first 2 weeks (15ml). Reuben only likes his breast milk warm not slightly above room temp, but really warm. as soon as it cools, he is not interested. If i think he is hungry, but he is kind of taking the teat and spitting out, i retry with it a bit warmer, using a jug of hot water. Formula, he has managed a bottle at room temp but prefers it warm too.

maman hope work is ok.

claire we use eco wipes or naturebaby wipes, for the bag out and about, and we use cotton wool/water at home. With DD, i did not use wipes at all until she was about 5months.