Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

Hello, sorry I've not been on here for a few weeks My life has been mad and I've been really struggling!
Things seem so much better now that xmas is out of the way. 3 children is so much harder than it sounds!!

So sorry to hear that some of you are struggling, but if my experience is anything to go by it will get better (slowly).

BBL I often think about you as our boys are all the same ages, so I guess we must be going through similar things at the minute, hope you are ok?

bbl hang in there, you've got us all supporting you here so please use us until the ADs kick in fully.

Trying not to get jealous of those with routines sorted. I keep trying to introduce bits and it's getting easier but I think we're a long way off sleeping the night through here. I keep having to remind myself that although Ben is 7 weeks now he's only just newborn size so him stomach will be newborn size too.

We celebrated on Wed though as he's just managed to get above the bottom line of the weight chart - the 0.4% one

General question, where are your babes for their daytime naps? I want him to sleep in noise and bustle etc but in the day will only sleep if rocked to sleep and doesn't sleep that deeply so am considering putting his moses basket upstairs in the day aswell. Opinions please

sass, if you read my descriptions of Arthur's antics at four weeks - so going back about eight weeks! - he was feeding every forty-five minutes or so, and I was DESPERATE. Try to express some milk so your DH can give you a few hours of sleep in the evening - that's how I survived it.

I forget sometimes that mine is older than most of the other babies - he's twelve weeks on Sunday, and it's been a long haul getting to this point!

hobnob, yes, that seems to be what the article is saying. I read it, and didn't get the 'formula is the same as breastmilk' message at all; they seemed to be saying that high testosterone levels equalled more poorly babies AND poor breastfeeding. So, rather than arguing that poor breastfeeding led to worse outcomes for babies, he's saying that those babies are likely to be worse off anyway? How is that comforting if you've struggled to feed? Best to ignore that sort of study, there's a different message every week...

Fairy, re. the daytime naps - I think do what works best for you. Mine is going to have to sleep on the run some of the time due to having a big brother who dislikes staying indoors all day! When we're home, he sleeps for the morning nap on his fleece downstairs, in the middle of the hullaballoo - in the afternoon, when he sleeps for quite a long stretch (1.30 to 3.15 or so) I put him down on his fleece in my study, where it's quiet. The idea is that he associates the fleece with sleep anywhere. I hope.

Can't keep up!!

BBL Keep taking it one day at a time - it will get better. We're pulling for you.

sass Really sorry to hear about the bfing issues - I hope your mastitis clears up soon and the LO settles down. Perhaps he's in the midst of an epic growth spurt?

Love hearing about the silly songs people are singing to their LOs. Lately, to clear up her nappy rash, we've been leaving her on the changing mat to dry for a bit, and DH sings a little ditty called "Air that booty out"

Tamlin I had to at "You KNOW it's cold when your little nudist toddler strips off his clothes defiantly, and then decides that actually, he'd like them all back on right away."

We're using Fuzzibunz cloth diapers, with double inserts, and she regularly soaks through them within 6 hours so DH is still doing one nappy change overnight. Who knew such a little thing could create so much wee?

Nights are OK, but Maeve never, ever wants to sleep during the day, and cries when we put her down in her basket. I asked HV about this and she suggested: (1) Getting outside more. (2) Making sure LO is getting hindmilk - don't switch boobs every feed if they're close together. (3) Put LO down in basket awake and let her fall asleep - the same as Venus's HV advised. I never would have expected a 6 week old to self-soothe but we went ahead and tried it. (She was not advocating the "cry it out" method, btw - said to pick LO up if she was truly upset.)

Now I put Maeve down in her basket, with her dummy if that helps, and rub her chest until she falls asleep. The first time this worked I was absolutely floored - she used to require hours of rocking to go down, so this has been huge for us. Since then she's napping in the evenings and much more content to lie in her basket (awake) during the day. These little babies - learning new tricks every day, eh?

At the same time I decided to give up caffeine, so it may be down to that? Caffeine withdrawal is making ME incredibly fussy, though

As for work, we're moving back to the US in three weeks, neither of us have jobs lined up and we're hoping we don't have to live with my parents for more than a month! I have no idea what I want to do and it's unlikely DH will be able to support us on his salary alone. Current mood: head in the sand.

longwayaway, we're supposed to be moving to the US in March provided my stupid visa comes through in time. It'll be nice to have somebody else in the same timezone!

Where in the US, Tamlin? (No need to answer that if it's TMI.) There are 4 timezones in the lower 48 but I know what you mean

sass I use a dummy to stretch time between feeds if he gets into a snacking pattern. It stretched his night feeds out and meant he took more at a feed so then slept for longer.
Try and hang in there though, in a few weeks it will all click into place.
I tried the odd formula bottle but it didn't buy me any more time so gave up on that idea.

re the article - I prefer the breast is best message as I have a feeling that if it gets harder around 4 months I'll be tempted to give up bf, andI'd rather not so need strong messages to keep me at it iyswim.

sleepless not uber organised, just lucky in that he fell into an obvious pattern and is so big I can pump him full of milk and get a good stretch of sleep.
I like to think of it as divine payback for DS1 who didn't sleep through until 8 months (and I had an 1.5 hr commute each way to full time job) and didn't know the meaning of the word patient or placid!

Can't believe it - DD2 is STILL asleep after falling asleep at the doctor's at about 11:00 and DD1 is also having a nap!!!

I don't really know what to do with myself. It seems the bomb site that is my house doesn't count as 'stuff to do when there's peace'.

My boobs are bursting.

hehe hobnob, know the feeling - LO is napping right now (during the day - that's a first!!) and I have so many options I'm just going to sit here and MN...

erika re: feeling like you haven't done anything in your life so far...WRONG! You have just gone through a pregnancy and now have a gorgeous baby Bryn who you are caring for. You cannot get better than that for achievement. Honestly, a job compares not a jot to the experience of being a mother. Do not be hard on yourself, you have plenty of time to develop your career, wherever that might be.

never knew motherhood could be so glamourous..have spent 2010 mainly being covered in milk..poor DD caught vile cold/cough..apparently only viral but what good is that to me and puked up every feed due to coughing...starting to improve but of course took her to weigh in and she only put on 4oz in 3 weeks...so at 7 weeks is only 8 8, up to 7 10 when born so mega stress..anyway hoping she will keep it in and try to fatten her up...have to go uber clingey 3 year old screaming again....

scarlotti It's good to be prepared for the potential 4 month hiccup, but expecting it to be hard might make it a self-fulfilling prophesy. I BF'd until 19 months last time and NOTHING was as hard as the first few weeks, so you've done brilliantly and are bound to continue to do so

Sorry if my melted brain misinterpreted that article and hope I haven't caused anyone any additional stress.

I don't normally swear, well not in front of strangers, but thank fuck it's Friday. I am dead on my feet here.

Aw poor little thing weston . Reuben has what sounds like the same viral thing. He is much improved, but still coughs/screams/yelps/coughs and then gurgles and pukes straight after feeds. So much so that it is hard to figure out whether its the cough making him sick or the sick making him cough now. Luckily his weight gain has to date been good, but will see next week if it is effected as only been like this for a week. I hope she improves soon.

Not been on for a couple of days so lots to catch up on!

Sass I'm going through a lot of bad nights, where I'm waking almost every 2 hrs to feed DS, he is 10 wks tomorrow and a big boy, but like his mummy, he likes to graze little and often. The days are far better and less demanding on the feeding front so I manage to get through each day. It will get easier and you will put this period of time truly behind you.Top-ups I've been doing this for almost 6 weeks. I've since hung up the towel this week on the formula front as it's not agreeing with DS's tummy. Anyway, the top-up was given around 11pm by DH whilst I caught up on sleep. It didn't affect my milk supply doing this, as DS always fed 3-4 hrs after. If he was going through the night a bit longer then I would have expressed just before my bedtime. Having done things this way it saved my sanity and I've since spoke to a few mums who have done the same with no problems.

Weston Hope your DD gets better very soon.

Tamlin What kind of fleece do you use? I like the idea of using one.

Tigger Welcome back. I think you and BBL are doing a fantastic job with 3 kids, I can just cope with the 2! As you said, it does get better with some time. I've found it easier in the last 2-3 weeks.

Erika Hope you manage to sort out the problem with Bryn. Does sound like reflux to me as well.

Hobnob The black bits remain a mystery! Glad to hear it's nothing to worry about

I hope I've caught up with everyone.

Wow Laugs at the bf until 19 months - well done to you! Do you intend to keep it going that long this time around?

Pav sorry to hear DS has been so poorly. Good to hear he's on the mend

cant find who was saying about their baby being a party animal from 6-12, have same prob here and really want her to go down at 6/7 with DD as need a few child free hours! she goes down ok when DD1 goes to bed but then wakes 40 mins later and even if i feed her she doesn't go back just wants to party until we put her down 10/11 and then she seems to accept its down for the night..shes 8 weeks monday..do i just accept its her awake time?? she does sleep alot during the day and does seem to start the day later in the morning but if i try to get her to wake for the day after say a 7am or 9am feed she is just pissed off!

feeling abit restriced by b/feeding as have party comign up and really fancy a few horus off and a few drinks but dont feel can really leave her, will only take a bottle if dream feed or immediately after waking from big sleep

also still refusing a dummy..

should i just forget about a plan till she is 12 weeks..thought have just booked a week to spain in 4 weeks..must be mad...just back from week in ireland...

Thanks fruit, scarlotti, longwayaway, tamlin and others who chipped in with suggestions or sympathy! A couple of things made me feel better (though that's always easier in the light of day than the dark of night!). I must remember he's only 4 weeks old, and behind many of your LOs in age, so I can expect some chaos for a few weeks yet. It sounds like several of you have used formula top ups successfully, but I'm going to try to hold off on that until we see what six weeks brings, unless I get so sleep deprived it's affecting my well being. I might well try the expressed top up though I did the other night (tried to stuff him with milk) and it didn't seem to change anything. skorpion sounds like you have found a brilliant combination of feeding, good work.

Now, who recommended What Mothers Do?? I ordered it with immediateness from Amazon and have just started reading it. Already it is making me feel more sane. I realised I need to understand what I'm engaged in better than I do now - at present, I'm just sort of fumbling towards (hopefully) ecstasy. But I'll cope better if I understand it better.

There is one sentence that I already love where the author's talking about how she realised her baby girl wasn't judging her ability as a mother, but "she just accepted me. Slowly we worked out a rhythm of being together." That's a lovely way to think of it, and gives me a bit more patience.

We have a lovely sheepskin fleece (Bowron, I think, is the make) that I'm trying to get Tristan to associate with massages and sleep and all things quiet and relaxing. We have it in the moses basket at present, makes the basket look a much more enticing place to be.

Right, I'm going to gently wake him up in hopes of keeping him a bit more tired for the 12 - 5 stretch!

I hope tonight is magically sleep-ful night for everyone.

sassmonkey Reuben cluster feeds of an evening/night, because he is tired. I have only just figured out the extent of this, in the last couple of days (its taken me this long, why? ) and did so by also stuffing him with ebm for a couple of nights. I got so tired with it, i left him to it for a few minutes, then rocked him in his moses basket ssshhh'ing, and he fell asleep, after crying, and crying, and then la'ing and crying, then more la's and cries, then finally sleep, and slept for 3 hours last night, and 4 the night before, the longest 2 nights in a row so far.

Might this have anything to do with constant feeding at night? If Reuben has his way, he would be permanently attached all night, and so far this evening has not left my boobs.

oh my word, just had a chuckle! Reuben is tummy down on my chest, i am in bed, naked, propped up, reading "what to expect, the first year' as i have hardly read anything so far, and Reuben pushed himself down so his head was in between my boobs, so i moved my hands completey away to see what he did, and he bobbed his head, making these little 'uhuhuh' noises, and bobbed himself right over to my left nipple and latched himself on, with his little hands resting on both sides of my boob! So cute! And it was the fullest boob too, he could have chosen either one, he went for the one with most in for him! aw he has made me gush with pride!

morning all

Pav how sweet was that, Reuben finding his food all by himself. I still have never done that so might have to try - thought he'd be too old by now but maybe not?

Sass yes, do remember we're about 4 weeks ahead of you which does make a difference.

weston we had a similar problem to you but are tackling it. I'll tell you what we did/are doing and you take do with that what you will! I'll add here that I like routine, like my dc's to be in a routine of sorts so I can plan things, and more importantly, I was ready to get my evenings back and start to have the option of an evening out.
So, he's now 8.5 weeks and about 13lb.
He was sleeping well from 11pm until about 3/4am. Evenings were spent with him on my lap feeding and sleeping from say 7ish until we went up to bed around 10:30.
So bedtime was decided to be around 7/7:30. I try and bath him although don't manage this every night, then up to our room to change and feed before putting him to bed. He will sleep for 45 mins (his sleep cycle length) then wakes. I presume he's used to waking down with me and having a look around.
The first night we had to go up about 5 or 6 times to shush, pick up and calm, then put back down before he fell asleep again until about 10ish.
Last night was only 3 or 4 trips and he was much less put out. I think another night or teo will get his body clock used to the idea that 7 is now bedtime.
To get the sleep I make sure he doesn't sleep for more than around 5 hours in the day - ish. Either he has 2 small naps and 1 big one (9am ish- 45 mins, 12am ish - 2.5 hr, 4ish -45 mins) or he has 4 or 5 45 mins naps during the day. He's happier with the first option but that depends on him getting back to sleep after coming out of deeper sleep.
Sorry, mammoth post but thought specifics might help.

Am planning to crack the body clock first and get the bedtime sorted, then I'll have to sort out him soothing himself back off to sleep. I now do a bottle of ebm at 10:30 which is working really well as he downs it easily and gets a full tum. I express then too for the next night.
I have a night out on the 22nd so that's what I'm aiming for - I can see a life at the end of the tunnel

aww that is soo lovely pav

Awww Pavlov that's so cute!!! What a clever lad!

Rough night here. Bryn woke up every two hours, something he hasn't done for ages. Part of me is blaming my mum - she told me I should put him to bed earlier. I normally put him to bed around 10pm, as he's an active little thing between 8.30pm and 9.30pm. So I agreed to try it her way to get her off my back, and got him ready for bed at eight. He didn'tn do his usual filling up feeds, took ages to settle as he was wide awake, and then wanted to play at 4am. Back to my way I think tonight!!

Just to make it worse... I'm rather paranoid about people breaking into the house. My brother slept next door last night. At 2am, I heard knocking on the door - my sleep deprived and BPD brain immediately thought "Its someone getting ready to break in, making sure we're all asleep, they're going to kill us all...". So theres me, trying to stay calm, when the door opened, and I heard my Mum say, "Wigs what are you doing?". Yup it was my brother. He'd come back to get - wait for it - batteries for his XBox control. He's had that bloody thing two weeks and its already causing so any arguments...

And we've had more snow I couldn't get over to DPs yesterday as the buses weren't running from here. Was hoping it would have cleared a little so I could today. I need a hug!!

Sorry for the rant, am feeling a bit low, haven't seen my therapist in weeks, and not being seen till the end of the month as they're "too busy" .

Does anyone else worry about cot death? I hate to say that... Makes my insides go cold. I sometimes have to get up to check he's breathing. Its so scary... I it just me being paranoid?

i do too erika, if shes been sleeping for ages sometimes i have to stroke her face so she moves a little. also her moses basket is right up close to the bed so i can peer in anytime i feel i need to check.

erika that paranoia is completely normal, and shows how much you need/want to protect your little boy. As long as it does not stop you from putting him to sleep, or stops you sleeping at all, then it is fine/normal to check on him lots. And, sorry you had such a rubbish night, but at least it proves you do know what you are doing with him, as you tried something new against your instincts and your way was better. Well done for at least going with your mother;s suggestions, if only to prove that you know your son better than her!

Scarlotti 0 yes try it! it will be interesting to see if they still have the 'homing' instinct at 8.5wks - Reuben is 6 wks today. He often pushes himself down to the nipple area when DH is holding himself, gets in position and then gets upset there is nothing there!

Been to out of hours Dr with Reuben as he was vomitting up all his feeds in the night. He is well apart from that and a the horrendous cough after feeding but worried it had gone to his chest as he gurgles. But he is fine, he is swallowing mucous from his sinus which are blocked so GP gve me some saline drops to give him before he feeds, should help. Glad i was reassured and was not made to feel like an overanxious mother.