May09 - Christmas is on it's way and Grumpycaaa is comin' to town!!

[essenceofSES]

Hope that works!

Cocktail anyone?!

Thanks for that recipe febes. I think I'll make some for my Dad. He loves fudge and always stocks up when he's visiting England.

Enjoy your easy afternoon flippin

I've been messing about with my new digital camera. I just can't find out to transfer single pics to the computer and then edit them. I can either do the whole memory card or single ones, but then they're read only for some reason Really annoying and a big waste of time

jinglebelg, thanks for the offer of the bags. I don't want to trouble you to send them. there's a craft shop near us where I'll see if they have cello bags.

I've just found a lovely recipe for sea-salted truffles which I think I'll make for DH from the girls. we usually get salted caramels from l'artisan du chocolat (online) but that's beyond my budget this year, and I think DH will be surprised and please if he gets homemade ones. (won't he?)

flippineck, flippin... A pulling herself up? scary! she's going to be running around soon .

llare, we're staying in as well. it's raining right now and we need to wait for some parcels to arrive that I've rescheduled for delivery today.

had a bit of a manic morning but all is quiet now, i reckon I have 15 more minutes so need to quickly clean up after this post. had a friend round for dd2 which was nice because the girls were occupied and the friend's mum and I had a cuppa tea and chat. then the dog got loud, the girls started arguing over toys, they all got hungry at once, H started fussing, dog got sick under the table.... oh, it was fun.

H is growing rapidly . she's not walking (of course!) but lifts her legs to take steps when she's holding my hands for balance. she looks right proud, too . I actually don't know why I'm encouraging her since her mobility will make my life even more difficult.

actually 15 minutes turned to 0 time left, I hear H crying now to be collected from her nap.

momino - your morning sounds a bit manic! Funny you saying about H 'stepping' - although A can pull herself up and stand really well, she seems to have no urge to move her legs. Interesting the order they get things, isn't it? This whole mobile baby thing is still a shock to me, my two seem to be at the extremes of the range.

belgina - did you manage to work out your camera?

Just time for a quick post.

blotted so sorry to hear you are still not 100%. Hope the ADs do their job for you. Do let us know how things go though, or we will just worry about you! Take care and sending virtual hugs to you.

belgina also a grrr from me here to for you DH. Am sure if he spent one day in your shoes he would realise you are doing far from nothing. I would hazard a guess that you are sorting everything out for Christmas too, so clearly doing absolutely zilch!!

momino hows your house looking now after your manic morning. I do love it when I have friends and their LOs round but the clearing up is something else!!

febes am seriously tempted by your fudge recipe. Sounds yummy. No calories in there I assume?
Am also doing nothing here!! Watched yesterdays Ski SUnday whilst wrapping presents earlier. I have a bit of a crush on Bode Miller, the American Skier. And am having serious snow withdrawal having watched it.

Oh and still no ideas for the 12 year old. WIll have to phone his mum I think.

just made some chocolate fudge and I don't really like it. Its a bit homemade looking IYKWIM . Tastes nice though.

I think I'm going to do rum balls or truffles (are they the same thing?)

We have been in all day too (and all day yesterday ) It's so cold and I have no money to spend so have been doing washing and making fudge .

febes Homemade looking things are the best. They've got character

flippin Didn't work out the camera. I ended up importing the whole lot and then deleting all the pics that were already on the computer at A's pulling up abilities! I'm pretty sure dd1 was crawling at this stage, but C just happily sits there and goes from side to tummy if she falls over.

momi Has the calm completely returned now? I've got a friend with 4 dcs and when she comes over it was a bit like what you described earlier, lol. I always felt like a whirlwind had attacked my house after she'd left. And was exhausted just having those 4 around, even with their mum around to look after them.

I just picked up dd1 from school and noticed she was wearing the school sweatshirt AND cardi at the same time, lol. She also often sports 2 pairs of pants: fresh ones on top of the old ones. She's so dreamy, but just like me at that age. Not sure if that's a good thing

Been having a traumatic and emotional day today. Had a meeting this morning to discuss my return to work. Didn't get the days I wanted (Mon pm wfh, all day Wed&Thurs and half day Sat). It would have meant only 2 days in nursery for O. They want me to do 3 full week days which must be either Mon or Tues, every Fri and one other.
I phoned DH as I left and he was quite factual and dismissive as to him it's quite logical that I just do what they say. I then got v upset as I don't really want to go back more than half a day a week so I can keep my hand in. I phoned DH back and somehow we both ended up getting upset. To cut a long story short, I feel he just doesn't get how much things have changed and are going to change and he says I make him feel that he's not a good dad. I've cancelled a friend coming over tonight so DH and I can have some time. I think we both need to try understanding the other's perspective a bit more.

Sorry for me post. Will try and catch up later.

ses- did they give a good reason for being so prescriptive about days- is it due to meetings, other working patterns or something? If not, i think you should try for the days you want, or at least reach a compromise where you do some of the days they want and some that you want.

I think it's good to sit down with DH and have a good chat about how you both feel atm. Hope you manage to sort things out.

When I had my DD I found returning to work very traumatic, but the best advice i had was to give it a month before deciding whether to stop work/career break. By a month, we'd both settled into our new routine and were enjoying it (work and nursery). I am not looking forward to going back 4 days a week, but will see how it works, and then will see if i can work from home a bit or cut my hours so i get more time with the LOs. I know from previous experience that i do enjoy working, so i am sure it'll be fine really.

Ses Oh I remember the traumatic going back to work feeling with DD. The worst was the first day I had to drop her at nursery I was so stressed and ended up having a massive fight with DH. It's not such a big deal for them and they don't have that pull that we have as they have carried on with work etc after DCs with far less impact on their daily lives than us.

I can only say it was fine and like Pula I enjoyed the balance of part time work once we settled into a new routine and the feeling you get when you are leaving work to go pick them up at the end of the day is so great. Their little faces light up when they see you. DD always ran up to me and then turned around and carried on playing but there you go Oooo festive smilies!!

Why couldn't you have the days you want?? I hope your chat with DH goes ok.

Thanks Pula and Febes

They basically said I couldn't do half day Saturdays as there's not so much impact I can have on the business on a Saturday as many managers don't work and most stores are only open half a day. (My stores are all v small and mainly focussed on dispensing rather than retail).
The only day they insisted on was Friday so that I was around to sort out any problems in the run up to the weekend, especially pharmacist cover. To me this seems to contradict the Saturday working thing a bit...
Thursdays are when there are always two all day meetings a month so that looks to be set.
They've asked for a Mon or Tues so that I can meet with the rest of the area team to review the previous week and plan the next one.

I think you're right, it won't be so bad once I've started and if it is, then we just review it. The upset with DH was when I started asking about who was going to drop O off and pick him up from nursery. DH basically said he couldn't do it as he leaves home too early and gets home too late and it's on my way. All true so I was probably being unfair. There are some evenings when I have to work though (about 2 a month) and he said if I gave him notice he'd be able to do it. I just hate the feeling of having to ask permission. Then led onto the fact that I always have to ask DH to help with O at wkends. He never does a bath or changes a nappy unless I ask or infact it's usually more like "DH, will you cook dinner or bath O?" so he knows he has to do something.
He finished our conversation by blaming it all on my hormones
Hope we get to talk properly without upsetting eachother this evening.

Sorry to bore you with what is really quite petty and mundane really! We all go through it, I guess I was just having a day of reality hitting today.

ses its an emotional minefield returning to work I think. And the Dh's don't really understand as febes says - after all they went back after maybe 2 weeks of paternity leave and life carries on as normal (sort of). So I totally get why you feel upset about it. I did too when I went back after DS1. I didn't get the days i wanted, but they gave a good(ish) reason and now I am planning on returning for the same three days that I was working before I went off on ML this time. You soon get used to it,I promise!

ses - not petty or mundane at all, it's all big stuff in your family now. Come and sound off here if it helps, but I really hope your conversation with DH goes well tonight.

Not sure if it's any help at all, but my DH sometimes says things like that he doesn't do things because he doesn't know what to do, or doesn't want to do things different to how I do them.

No advice about work though, my experience was quite different...I was already pregnant with A by the time I went back to work . In my defence, I'd had a 6 month career break on top of my mat leave.

More milestones here!!!! A has a tooth! Front bottom left. Can hardly see it, but I felt it when she bit my finger earlier.

Survived bed time! No tantrums, both straight to sleep. A miracle. Please let it happen again tomorrow night.

ses I agree with what the others have said about returning to work. Once you get there it isn't so bad. The thought of it is much worse! I found the days flew by and it was very nice to be me again.

One thing I would say however is that you need to approach the childcare thing differently. Obviously everyone is different but from the start I never saw the childcare as solely my problem. You need childcare to allow you both to work, not for you to work, if you see what I mean. When my childminder was unable to care for my son I quite often left the problem with DH to labour the point that our childcare is a dual responsibility. If you try and make it work in that way you won't be stuck with the problem of having to always take time off work yourself to cope with emergencies. You may want to, and it is fine if you do obviously, but sometimes it isn't always possible.

I've even got my MIL trained now. Initially she'd only discuss childcare arrangements with me but now I've trained her to discuss it with DH too. FIL remains firmly entrenched in the traditional role however, and won't even change a nappy.

We've been to Toys R Us, which has to be the most utterly depressing experience I've had to date. I don't know what it is about the shop but I hate it. I can't believe how many people were there with their pre-schoolers at 7pm. I definitely had my judegy pants on!

ses I hope you're now having a good chat with your DH. I agree with what has already been said, that the thought of going back is worse than the actual going back. But knowing that is one thing. I'm still panicking about going back, despite knowing that last time I went back f/t and it was fine too. Hope you're OK.

flippin It's all milestones happening with you today!

The dcs had the nativity. KS2 did some songs before and after. The funniest was their rendition of "rockin' around the christmas tree". They were supposed to swing along, but they looked like the saddest bunch of children ever, lol. dd1 is still being her distracted self. After going to school in school t-shirt+sweater+cardi, she got ready for the nativity and nearly went wearing odd shoes! I'm sure it's her who glued my shoes to the carpet earlier today too (for those of you who saw my fb status). I don't think she did it in a naughty way, just more of an experimental sort of way.

Oooh and have you all seen these etc..

Thanks all! Good point about how to view childcare too llare

DH came home with flowers. I then tried to talk to him by saying "I cancelled my friend coming over so we could talk. Tell me how you find things have changed and are difficult". He said "No, we don't need to talk anymore as I've won because I bought you flowers"

Problem is neither of us likes confrontation so we do all we can to avoid it until I end up an emotional wreck and it all becomes a huge drama.

Oh, Ses, what an evening. I know you know, but you do relly need to talk to DH properly. But points to that man for flowers!!!

llaregub makes sense about approach to childcare. When I went back to work my DH changed his working pattern - because he works much closer to where we live than I do, he did the drop off and pick up from the CM and worked slightly shorter days on the days I worked; he'd fetch DD1 and give her tea and I'd get home just before bath time. He'd then make up the hours on the days I wasn't working.

I keep slipping things into conversation like a little drip
DH is currently watching Amanda Holden learning how to be a MW. Do you think it'll make him broody?
Nooo! We'd be even more of a nightmare with eachother if we had two!

Belgina - christmas play sounds great! Love the image of the children singing
Not such a great image of shoes glued to carpet. Hoepfully neither the carpet nor the shoes had any drastic long lasting effects?

flippin - yay for tooth!
Febes and llare - v impressed by your home made pressies. They sound lovely.

Blotted - sorry to hear of your stresses. Try and take it easy and feel free to come on here and offload if it helps.

Evening all. I'm now all broody having watched the Amanda Holden programme. I also have to say big respect to all MWs out there, what a job ! ( to Belgina)

Blotted good to hear from you, although in difficult circumstances. Hang on in there girl ! Hope you are getting good support from the Crisis team.

Respect for home made goodies

Ses I have to admit that as my DH works away from home all week, childcare is my responsibility. In some ways it works well because I know it is up to me and no-one else, so no need to communicate with DH. I hope you can sit down and talk it through with your DH.

I'm feeling broody too. My friend posted photos from her 1st meet-up with her NCT group and their newborn babies and I was so, so broody!

Good news from my friend who is pregnant with twins. She is now 27 weeks and still pregnant. She will be in hospital for the forseeable but she is very positive. I'm looking forward to seeing her over christmas.

evening everyone.

ses, sorry you're feeling low about the Return to Work and they're not agreeing with your requested days. I hope you can talk to your DH constructively. I don't think DH's can understand how it feels.

llare, such good news about your friend, hope she's doing ok at the hospital and coping well with the boredom.

flippin, how exciting about the first tooth ! Can't wait till Harper gets her first.

belgina, i did and at your FB status.

everyone else, hi !

H is now doing that cute thing with her arms where she lifts them towards me when she wants me to pick her up. oh, i'm relishing every little thing she does. she's just doing it too quickly and growing too fast. i wish she didn't have to be our last one. broody, me?

quick one handed mememe post!

I promise I'll never be smug about the perfect bedtime again, ever. Absolute shocker of a night, thanks A! At least dd1 slept.

Morning everyone

The not feeding when waking at 2 strategy is just not working here. She's still waking and then going to sleep, so even though I don't feed her I'm still only sleeping in 2-2.5h bursts With my cold and everything it really isn't very good. I feel really bleurgh.

momi C does the reaching for me thing too, but usually in bed or anytime I come near her and she thinks she'll get picked up

A Holden programme I watched too and I thought it was a very good representation of midwifery and that she did really well (better than me as a 1st y stmw). I've heard a few mws moaning about how it was belittling the profession etc etc etc..., but I didn't think so. I thought it was very realistic. The pear shaped birth did make me go "Eeek, can't remember how to do anything." Oh help... So scared about the coming March...

Today is going to be a christmas themed day here. Card writing, present wrapping etc...

Right got to go now and put C in bed for a nap. She's getting a teeny weeny bit moany and grumpy.

Oh, I also meant to tell flip sorry about the bad night. I hope everyone else's night has been ok

belgina - sorry to hear you're still feeling bleurgh. Hope your day isn't too bad and that you can get the Christmas stuff done.

I was going to watch that programme with Amanda Holden, but I was up and down to A all evening so missed it. Will try to watch it tonight on the iplayer thingummy.

It's a beautiful day here, thick frost bt lovley and sunny. What a shame that we have to stay in today, I've got to wait for a courier to collect a parcel and they don't know what time they'll be here.

A has gone back to sleep now, after waking at 5:30! She was awake and grumpy every hour until midnight (calpol and gripe watered her), then she came into bed with me, I fell asleep sitting up holding her and then woke about 4 absolutely freezing because I hadn't put my dressing gown on (and I only sleep in a nursing vest and pj bottoms)...but of course I didn't dare move because she was asleep!