NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

helips, the johnson stuff is a bit harsh, but there is a bunch of more gentle soaps you can use...like california baby...hu, don't know if you get that though...

comma wise words from you on the DH front I think.

Mine is so lovely and supportive and wants to be as involved as poss but I think you are right, they just don't get how intense it is and I know in my case already (obviously limited experience here but...) I have been a bit - 'Mind her head!', 'If you do it like THIS then it's better' which is SO annoying.

(I don't know, you can take a teacher out of the classroom but you can't stop her being a bloody bossy boots! )

Also, I have to keep reminding myself that HE is sleep deprived too and went through the hard labour (to some extent) as well. The thing is, lucky them, they know they CAN escape for a few hours if they have to, much more difficult for us. I think just knowing that makes it so much easier for them too...

On a lighter note - my boobs are on Day 4 today: i.e. Hello DOLLY PARTON! I still don't even have the right size nursing bras. Not sure when I should/can get fitted now - Do they change size a lot? Should I go asap or wait til they return to some kind of normality? (assuming that will happen, right? )

Helips I'm not using anything on the skin, other than a little bit of Dove soap. For his hair I've ben using Infaderm. DS1 had excema as a baby so I'm being very careful not to use anything as such. But his hair does need a wash as he's got a big mop and it gets greasy very quickly. Also, I was told by the HV to shampoo at the end of a bath and then pull baby out so their skin doesn't come into contact too much with the shampoo.

Hi all! I've survived a whole day on my own, just but boy am I tired after a bad night last night (the DSs both waking for various things as well as Toby). Toby has just dropped off to sleep so now I am cooking tea and DH due any second now...

God that was hard!!! DS1 decided today would be the day he would develop an attitude. He's been heartbreaking to watch. I can see that he doesn't like the way he is behaving but can't help himself. Sigh. DS2 just keeps kissing Toby, very sweet.

As to schedules. I just feed Toby when he wakes at night (ie proper awake not just snuffling and odd cry). He seems to wake regularly though himself at about 12.30-1am and 4-5am. But maddingly he now wakes at about 6.30am and he's really restless in the morning keeping me awake but not hungry just awake!! In the day time he does seem to have settled into a pattern but mainy due to school run necessitating it. He naps for anything from 1 hour to 2 1/2 hour stretches in the daytime in the pushchair in the week and in the basket or sling at weekends (so far).

Comma agree with you re the dh's!

I think also that we naturally feel the need to do everything for the baby - nature's way of making sure we look after them, but we need to force ourselves to share the care, or dig ourselves an early grave!!

helips I used the johnsons head to toe wash on his hair as it was a bit smelly and greasy. He is fine and it's made for newborns. I've also moved onto sensitive wipes as of today (we ran out of cotton wool balls) - he's 4 weeks today. To be honest, if their skin doesn't react to your washing powder you're pretty safe to use sensitive baby products.

Fruit have discovered today that his frustration at the end of a feed (crying and shaking head from side to side) is down to the milk continuing to come out when he just wants a suckle! Last two feeds I've finished him off by giving his dummy and he's settled straight away! I used to get a dirty nappy at the 4am feed, but that seems to have stopped now so am keeping things calm so he goes back to sleep easily.
The issue I have is that he only feeds for say 8 minutes - which is why I think I'm getting him up too soon. We used to be there for about an hour for the feeding bits and nappy change, so he's obviously ready to stretch it out a bit.
Feeding today has been much better so I'm feeling more confident about tonight

comma it was me that gave up the laying down feeding. I did prefer it as I could doze off but as he only feeds for 10 mins before dropping to sleep, we were getting into the habit of more frequent short feeds. I was dropping off but then waking about an hour later, and then he was waking when I was putting him back in his bed! Decided I'll take the hit of having to sit up so I can keep waking him during the feed and then put him back in his bed - I sleep for longer that way
Also, I just automatically look at the clock when he wakes - I'm just naturally geeky and like to know the patterns in things, even my son's waking routine!!!

Anyone else finding positioning tricky? Ioan's head is so heavy I can't take the weight of it for the duration of a feed! At home is fine as I use cushions but can't take my pink V pillow out everywhere with me!!

Oh, and meant to say raggie I'd wait to get fitted for your bra. You'll settle down within about 2 weeks and then you'll be the size you'll stay. Use one that's comfy and stretchy for your Dolly Parton days!!

Knock knock...

Come on in ...

That makes sense scarlotti , didn't remember the reason, just thinking how hard it is to wake properly to feed.

Morning all! Toby has been really, really restless the last few mornings from about 5.30-7amish(he's fast asleep now). Is anyone else's like that? I'm not sure how much he is asleep as he snuffles, cries, sleeps, snuffles, cries, sleeps, etc for 2 hours! Every time I got up to get him he'd go quiet, or I'd settle him down again and he'd go quiet for 10 mins then cry again.

congratulations raggie!

Had a busy weekend. Took Isaac to a friend's housewarming on Sat and he slept the entire time as we'd driven there and he was in his carseat.

Yesterday I stupidly voluteered to cook a roast dinner for some friends. It was really nice but took hours to prepare while looking after Isaac.

his sleeping is all over the place at the moment. DH offered to do the 11pm and 4am feeds to give me a lie in but when he brings Isaac back to bed he is fully awake at 5am so I've been up since then. Nice to have a few hours of sleep last night though.

Lemontop sounds like Toby this morning! Ive been awake since 4.30am too.

I've had a nightmare this morning. Fed Toby 8am before school. He pukes all over me and himself at 8.30am, we're talking volcanic proportions. So I have to change us both, decide we can drive to school, can't find keys, children get upset, we start shouting at each other, end up walking and being really late, get home, Toby still awake due to trauma of puking despite being in pushchair, and I've just now got him off to sleep in his basket with lots of shusshing and cuddling. Phew. Dare I risk a bath now???

Also the bin is overlowing - why do men hate emptying the bin? Why should I do it all the time???

Ok had just got in the bath and waaaaa so had to run down dripping wet with towel round me did a bit of shusshing and back again, second time lucky! The thing we do.

Now to empty the bin grump!

Morning all

Apologies in advance, this is going to be a bit of a me post

Am losing confidence in my abilities and it's a downward spiral. Am struggling with the 4am feed and it's having a knock on effect on me and Ioan.
Last night I waited until he'd woken up a bit more before picking him up. He fed well for about 8 minutes and that was that. Tried to wake him for more but he wouldn't wake properly. Tried lots of different positions which didn't work, and just made me feel even more inadequate.
He then fretted from 4:30 through to 6:30 before falling into a proper sleep, waking around every 20 mins or so just like BBL's Toby.
DH then came up at 7am to use the en-suite so I'm now shattered on top as haven't had the sleep from 5 until 7 that I'm used to.
Ioan also now hasn't fed well at the 7/8am feed - maybe because he was still tired? Maybe because I was stressed out and feeling like I'm not doing it properly?
He's now asleep. He'll wake for a feed mid to late morning and that will probably go ok as I'm up and downstairs. The rest of the day will be fine but then come the evening I'll worry the night won't go well and then it's a self fulfilling prophecy.
And so we go around the whole thing again.

Anyone got any thoughts that might help save my sanity? I'm wondering if maybe he's not needing as much at 4am (he is about 11lb now) but waking from habit? Is it too soon for that? I'm worried that he's going to end up with not enough hind milk from these snacky feed, his nappies aren't as yellowy as they were, and then won't gain weight properly.
I'd thought of expressing a bottle of milk for the 4am feed as I can push a teat into his mouth and he'll dream feed, but I don't really want to be getting up and going to the kitchen at that time of night. Will it keep in the bedroom if I expressed at around 11pm?
Am worried that I might end up with pnd again, but wonder if the fear of that is also adding to my stress.

Sorry for bringing the thread down and apologies for my post being so self centred.

Oh, and nobody else empties our kitchen bin either

Oh Scarlotti big hug. You're doing fine. I don't think anyone has confidence in this job. I certainly don't. Aahhh Toby awake! Better go.

scarlotti, sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad. I really think you shouldn't worry and just accept Ioan as he is. I think it is normal that sometimes they only feed for a very short time. I was worried too with Paula because on some days she is feeding a lot and on others I really think she didn't get enough but I can't force her (I did it once because I was close to mastitis and the poor girl vomitted everything and even more) if she isn't hungry. In fact, if you think about it, we are the same. I am rarely hungry at night but I have always a bottle of water next to my bed because I am sometimes getting thirsty (also before bf)
And I think 8min aren't bad. If Paula is drinking properly 8 min are quite long. I had been worrying too if she is not getting enough hint milk but she does... she is really chubby.
And we have as well a period at night, towards the morning when she is really restless and either waking up a lot or just not sleeping at all which makes it so much harder for me too. And I don't even remember when I had a nap during the day myself (and I was hoping for daily naps together).

My sister has just sent me a text message. apparently the coolest thing in london was the "dino museum" and the cutest was Paula

Mine is fussing from 4 am onwards too - he seems very windy at that point, but I don't seem to be able to get it all up so he thrashes and groans for two hours or so. I hate it, because if he groans and moans too loudly he wakes up DS 1 on the other side of the wall, and then I have to deal with sleep-deprived toddler all day.

I'm not really sure what to do about it. To cope with a 4 am start to my day, I really need to be in bed at 7.30 pm, but for the last three nights, the baby's been up until at least 9.30 pm. Last night, I finally got him to sleep at 10 pm and he woke up at 11.45, voraciously hungry. I just WEPT. And DH WILL take him with a bottle in the evenings sometimes so I know I shouldn't complain - but it seems that he has to wait until I'm grey-faced and shaking with tiredness before it occurs to him to offer.

My morning is not going well. It's pouring with rain, and DH has left for work with the Phil and Ted's in the boot of the car, and I've run out of nappy wipes, and I'm going to have to put Arthur in the carrier in order to leave the house to buy more even though that was how I wrenched all the healing muscles last time. Also, DS 1 tried to pick Arthur up and dropped him (although not from a very high height, and on to carpet) and so I'm trying very hard not to panic about brain injuries and the like.

As I mentioned mine is fussy from 4am onwards too. He is in and out of sleep and feeding very little up until breakfast time, latching on and off but seems like he just wants to soothe on the breast rather than feed. I may as well get up by 5am each day. I seem to have terrible mornings until lunch time, if we haven't spent some time out in the pram or in car. We have reached the 5 weeks mark (growth spurt stage) and after a week or two of the feeding slowing down and my boobs feeling fit to burst, the feeding has been more often the last 2 days. Scarlotti please don't worry yourself. He's bound to change his sleep and feeding habits frequently and I doubt his latest routine will last for very long. It's nothing that you're doing wrong and try not to let it stress you out. Maybe get him weighed and speak to the HV about your worries. I'm sure she will put your mind at rest. You sound like you're doing a really good job . Baby will soon let you know when he's hungry. As long as he's not going without anything for longer than 4hrs then he's not going to dehydrate. This is all new for me as well. DS1 was formula fed and I knew where I stood with how much he was getting, kept an eye on how many bottles and at what times. I like to feel in control of most things and this I'm just having to go with the flow.

Tamlin sorry to hear about DS1 dropping baby. It must have really shaken you. I'm sure baby is fine and they are such resilient little things. It will be ok . DS1 fell off the bed when he was at rolling stage, he was fine but it scared the life out of me!

DH's job was to empty the kitchen bin but that seems to have been forgotten about. I think I'll have to have a word in his ear..

It looks as if we are all coping with restless babies in the early hours - its hard isn't it because you lie in bed willing them not to wake up properly and then you settle them and lie there again and so on and so on until you think 'ah well I guess it is morning now!'

I think that looking after a newborn baby is by the far the hardest, most challenging thing I have ever done and even though this is number three it is still incredibly hard. People think it is easy because they 'sleep 16-20 hours in 24 hours' or whatever the books say. And I get fed up of people saying 'nap when the baby naps' or 'try to rest, don't worry about the housework' etc. Does that mean I should let the DSs go to school naked as I've left the washing pile up?? Should I go and have a nap and leave DS2 downstairs by himself? Hmmm.

I am so pleased to have you guys here to talk to and read about your days too as it really is helping me keep going and keep smiling as much as I can

My DS1 also fell off a bed onto a hard floor when he was rolling stage. I was mortified. He was fine. I cried more than he did.

Tamlin hope Arthur is ok, I have taken to putting Annabelle in the travel cot (which we have in the lounge) when busy and cant be watching ds with her. that way i know he cant try to pick her up or accidentally knock her out of her moses basket which is what worries me most as we dont have carpet, just a hard floor.