NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

Tamlin, try not to worry, I'm sure the baby is fine.
BBL, I agree with you about the "good advice", I'm not even getting my naps with just the one but obviously it is impossible if you have older children too.
I just try to keep in mind that it will get better in the end so every day or rather night brings us closer to it. And if we had a really good day or night, I'm happy about it. If not, than that's just how it is. (well, it's not always that easy, but I try to think like that).
Good thing about today (and yesterday): Paula seems to start to like the sling (or I have just the better timing). She is sleeping in it since an hour and I just managed to bake an apple strudel (ok, I had bought puff pastry). And yesterday she was in it when we went out for the museum. I think she sleept at least three hours and didn't even wake up when I took her out to undress her for the much warmer museum or when I dressed her before leaving.

Tamlin is the baby okay?
Maybe it would help to tell your dh that he will have baby in the evening (unless he has a really good reason not to) so you get a few hours of sleep. It's like dh has a work issue at the office and waiting for you to do sthg about it, and there is no way you can figure it out. But if he'd asked, you'd probably be quite happy to chip in.

I go to bed before my toddler, leaving dh to take care of her. Then he watches Esme (sleeping in her swing) until he's ready for bed around midnight. She feeds a few times during the night, always vey short. She never feeds long, but her poop is perfect and she gains weight so no worries I think. In general, I say let them do their thing. I always woke my first for feeds, worried about milks etc, but might as well not.
I think Esme also has a longer wake at 3. But I do too, and always did. I go get a snack, get comfy and read a bit, cuddling Esme till she's ready to sleep. But I couldn't do it without my early bedtime-break, esply as no nap possible during the day with dd1.

Crikey, seems we are all suffering at night, at least we can take some small comfort in knowing we are all in the same boat!

I am sooooo tired today, but not because of Millie but my horror of a ds! He woke at 2am and would not go back to sleep. Dh was in with him for an hour and then I took over. In the end we let him sleep in our bed and then he snored so I couldn't sleep. Millie slept from 10pm to 3.30am so if it hadn't been for ds I would have had 5.5 hours uninterupted sleep, typical! Don't know what to do about ds waking up, he has started doing it everynight and won't go back to sleep unless one of us is cuddling him. Do you think this is a reaction to Millie or an age thing? He is 27 months.

tamlin your poor ds! They are much tougher than you think though and I'm sure he is fine, bless him.

scarlotti sorry to hear the night feeds aren't going well. Maybe he is getting more from his day feeds and needs less at night? At some point they will drop the night feeds (please god let it be soon!) and if he is putting on weight that's a good sign.

bbl well done on getting through your day on your own!

Oh I'm knackered too! However, it's not because of Leah, it's because of my 5 year old dd! That wasn't supposed to happen! Not sure whats going on to be honest, but it's having a horrible effect on me and making me really grumpy. She keeps waking up saying she isn't well but really don't know if she is telling the truth or not. She has the swine flu jab on Saturday and wondering if that is making her not feel too good, or if it is just that she is feeling 'left out' that we are all in one room at night and she is on her own in the other. She has been up since 5am this morning and I just really hope she has been ok at school. She is at music club at the moment so will find out soon enough but not sure this evening will be much fun. Even said to dh this morning that maybe we should just let her into our bed to sleep so we all have some more, but I know it will be making a rod for our own back in the long run, but right now I'm not sure I care. Leah sleeps pretty well at night, although I did have to let her fall asleep on my last night as she wouldn't settle so well after her feed so maybe it's just all going to go downhill!

Sorry for the me me post when everyone is suffering too

had, not has swine flu jab.

Helips I think that is a reaction, totally, a bit of a regression to babyhood.

Southernbelle ditto. Classic new baby reactions, even if she does genuinly feel a bit unwell.

DS1 was unwell twice the first week Toby was home with shiverness - so a hard to define sort of illness. When DS2 was born DS1 started waking up in the night again! It was exhausting so I feel for you both.

hi ladies,

laugs and I crying our eyes out over on the antenatal thread (we're waiting for our buds from 'The Final 6') over this:

What is your Six Word Memoir on Motherhood?

I love

My heart is outside my body now.

Rosa does this weird face while stretching her arms and fingers out in an awesomely weird way - she looks like an elfish magician casting some spooky spell and I love it. We were laughing about it earlier with grandad - but a teeny part of my heart was going 'Nooo! We can't laugh at Rosa! She's too precious and special!'

Oh I am still in the heady, hormonal first few days....

Thanks ladies, you've all made me feel so much better and not so alone!

Feeling a bit better now, Dad and step-mum came down for the day and having some company has made heaps of difference. It's been so wet here that other than DH, I've not seen any other adults for a good week or more!

So now I'm in a more positive frame of mind I plan to:
express a bottle tonight for the 4am feed to see if he's more hungry as easier to get a bottle down him when he's tired.

make sure I get out every day to somewhere other than the nursery pick up and make some plans with friends to meet up.

Tamlin hope you're ok after Arthur's adventure

scarlotti my dd only feed for 5-8mins when she wakes for nite feeds, i reckon this is when the milk if most bountiful and satifying so they mightn't need more

also with everyone with other siblings 4:30am sat 5:30am this am from my nearly 3 year old...and shes wakes in such bad mood its a nightmare..and my new dd seems to have her most awake grumpy period from 8-11ish pm...so get midnite to five with wake at 3!! when got i get new DD to go to bed at 7pm??

HI everyone

Oh, Scarlotti I feel for you. I feel like that too!! Sam didn't settle from 11pm - 3am last night, and insisted on 'snacking' but instantly falling asleep after 2 or 3 sucks, then not sleeping etc etc. It is so hard isn't it. I am finding myself getting cross with DH too, partly because he gets a proper night's sleep in our bed (I am still in the lounge on the sofabed where it is much warmer) but the night can seem very long and lonely. And partly because he really doesn't seem to get how I feel and what needs to be done. Grrrr. I hope you're OK. I have been told things do improve!! Oh, and the expressed bottle sounds good. I would have thought it would be ok from 11 'til 4, but I'm not sure. And I am certainly finding the most frustrating part is the constant latching on/off so atleast you would avoid that.

Weston is good to know your DD only feeds for 5 - 8 minutes during the night. Sam is doing about 3 - 6 minutes .

BBL sorry about your morning. It's so hard isn't it. The whole thing. And I can't imagine how you are managing with two other children as well, you have my admiration!! I am struggling majorly to manage ONE baby, one DH and one cat....

helips try a night light, it worked for a friend of mine who's toddler woke up lots after no.2 arrived.
tamlin hope all is well with Arthur

katster we're in the same boat too so think about that when you're awake, we're awake too!!
Have you tried changing his nappy to wake up for a feed or taking his clothes off..it might be that he is too snug to fully wake up. He might be getting lots of foremilk in the 3 sucks and gets satisfied but not for long. Its a tough situation to get out of. The more foremilk he drinks the more you produce. I'm in the same boat. Try waking him up properly, however hard it is to get out of bed for you.

weston, kaster thanks for letting me know yours are doing such short bursts of feeding too maybe he just doesn't want/need more than 8 minutes then?
How long do yours sleep for after the short bursts?
Part of the issue for me last night was the lack of settling after ... although my step-mum told me today that if I'm stressed then my milk will contain stress chemicals which will make Ioan more awake. I think I'd be fine if I knew that it was just 8 minutes he needed and then he settled for a few hours afterwards.

Will report back tomorrow on the success (think positive!!!) of the 4am ebm bottle mission.

Gosh, it's quiet on here tonight! Hope everyone is having a good evening and all the LO's are being good!

I think dd1 might actually be poorly. Now I feel even worse for getting cross her last night She had a temperature tonight so gave her calpol before bed and hoping she might sleep through as she is totally exhausted, bless her. Thinking it could be a reaction to the swine flu jab, what do you think?

Leah has been pretty good today. She is just really hungry and isn't quiet in telling me when she wants a feed!! It seems I'm not satisfying her though as she is never full even when she's been feeding from me for an hour and I have to top her up with a bottle. Never mind, not going to get stressed about it, just keep doing as we are with me feeding her and then topping up. Hope she doesn't turn into a big massive baby though!! DD1 was never like that and now, at 5 is still in 2-3 clothes so it's all new to me, lol!!

Anyway, home alone tonight hence being on here but will go and relax and check back to see if anyone else has been on later!!

scarlotti she will do 2-3ish hours after a 7 min feed

put DD to bed as same time as DD1 and it worked, hurrah! she woke more during nite but feel more refreshed for going to be at 9

Southern hope your DD1 is feeling better soon. Good that you're relaxed with the feeding - if you're happy topping up then carry on.

weston interesting she'll do 2-3 hours. I think I get about 2 hours from Ioan but thought maybe I was imagining it as 'everyone' seems to say nurse for about 20-30 minutes.

Well, I did the bottle thing, and it didn't seem to give me much more time. He managed about 3oz and I suspect it wasn't much more than if he fed himself. Only difference was I could put the bottle in his mouth whilst he was half asleep ... but then he filled his nappy with an explosion so that woke him up anyway!!

Maybe tonight I will try relaxing and just going with the flow

Very tired here Toby so unsettled 5.30am onwards. Then we both conked out at 7am only to oversleep and wake at 7.45am and have a nightmare morning getting everyone ready for school!

He's asleep in his pushchair now... waking up. I haven't even had a cup of coffee yet.

Very tired here too. Was hoping to get some nap time finally but probably not. Paula is sleeping in her cot at the moment!!! I just put her there to quickly take off the laundry and she fell asleep (probably not for more than 15 min but time for mumsnet
As her belly button is still not looking good I would like to see the GP, so I need to call at 1.30 to get an emergency appointment. Which means I can't nap at lunch time and probably not in the afternoon.
Well, and she was sleeping less than 15min so I'll continue later

ok, now she is sleeping on my lap. after a 5min feed which wasn't even very efficient. I guess it's my own fault. I knew putting her into the cot would not make her sleep very long.
scarlotti, I really think you should just go with the flow. I'm not sure if you will get more sleep but if you are relaxed, your sleep will be much more refreshing than if you are constantly worried. If he gets enough during the day he might just not need more at night.

BBL feel for you, it's tough when you have others to sort out as sods law says it's moments before you have to get up that you finally get some sleep.

ursi still haven't managed a nap in the daytime here yet either, unless dh is at home. Took the car into the garage this morning and will have to pick that up later so there goes today's opportunity!

Anyone else noticing that they are getting more cries now that mean 'I just want picked up'? Am sure as Ioan's getting older (!) that he's cottoning on to wanting the cuddles or a change of scenery

ursi yes, I think you're right. I am still carrying the 'issue' from DS1 who didn't feed properly and slept too much, which I hadn't noticed and so lost a lot of weight. Am going to try and relax more tonight and just see how he goes. Hopefully he'll stay asleep from his mini feed!

Yesterday was DH's first day back to work after paternity leave. LO definitely noticed the change in her "routine", I think. She was a perfect angel for the first couple hours while the Health Visitor was here (yay) but then broke down and wouldn't nap at all until DH got home.

I realized yesterday she's gotten a bit of nappy rash, which got worse overnight after she completely soaked herself and the mattress I feel like a super-bad mama here. Nappy rash solutions, anyone??

I haven't had a day time nap either unless DH is here. I am dying to sleep.

Toby will take daytime naps in his basket but I will have to keep going to him to calm him down before he drops off but usually once he's asleep he's gone for 2 hours in there. If he sleeps in the pushchair it is hit and miss whether he wakes up when we stop and then he ends up in my arms having a cat nap later.

Scarlotti I know it easier said than done to try not to worry but I think you are doing a grand job at the moment. Take each day as it comes. That's what I am doing. Look forward to the first smile I keep telling Toby that all I want for Christmas is a smile. At the moment he just looks up at me with these big eyes.

scarlotti, oh, now I see why you are so worried. How often does he get weight (just to put your mind at ease)? Paula is usually awake for a feed at 5 and then between 6.30 and 7, I thought. But yesterday and today, my husband changed her nappy and she fell asleep. Yesterday, she was first cuddeling with him and then slept for an hour and today he just put her back in her cot and she was again sleeping for 40 min without feeding. So I actually think, I sometimes try too early and that's why she does those little and often feeds more frequently than "necessary"
And I agree with you, definitely more cries for cuddles and especially change of scenery. Today she cried everytime the birds of her mobile stopped moving. So I had to sit there and push it gently each time it stopped. Not exactly what I was hoping for . But it is so nice to see how she is developping and noticing things around her.
BBL, I'm waiting for the first real smile too. She is almost smiling at her singing moon and the mobile, she looks at me with big eyes and seems to like me, but not yet a real smile.

longwayaway sorry to hear about the nappy rash. You're not a bad mum, it can happen to anyone. Leah has bad nappy rash too - it looks really sore I found with dd1 when she was bleeding with nappy rash, that camomile tea in the bath had amazing effects. You put a teabag into the running water and then take it out before putting baby in it. After a couple of baths the nappy rash disappeared.

scarlotti we are definitely getting 'I want to be picked up' cries! Leah will lie there awake for a while, but gets bored and wants cuddles!!

BBL sorry you are tired again and rushed this morning. I know the feeling too! DD1 did sleep better last night but still woke up at 5.30am tired. She went to bed a bit early last night as she was so tired which might have caused it, but it's a hard loop to get out of! Going to try keeping her up a bit later tonight in the hope that we at least make it til 6am tomorrow!! Leah is sleeping ok, although waking up after 3 hours or so for a feed in the night rather than the 4 that she was doing before!

Went to physio today and got rid of the crutches - YEY!! I thought things were improving really well, which they are in comparison to what it was like before, but she says that the pelvis is still very weak and needs lots of building up to gain strength again. I'm still walking from side to side (waddling basically!!) but she has given me exercises to do and told me to buy a balance board (wobble board) which should help strengthen things up! Hopefully in time I'll start waddling less

MIL is going to take Leah out for a while later to give me some 'me' time! Won't be long as have to get dd from school, but I know mil really wants some time with Leah so it will be lovely for her! I'll try and have a rest but will probably end up doing the housework!!

ursi planning to go to clinic for weighing tomorrow exactly for that reason! I think I do the same as you, in that I pick him up too early and then he's not quite hungry enough. It's hard at night though as you think the quicker you feed then the quicker you can get back to sleep!!

longwayaway I use sudocream on his nappy rash and it clears it up instantly. You can also use it as a barrier cream. Depends on whether you want a natural solution or are happy to use an antiseptic. We are now onto wipes (sensitive) rather than water and cotton wool - I waited 4 weeks first

BBL every day in this house starts with me asking if he's got a smile for mummy?!

southern great news on the crutches. Still very of you getting to sleep until 6am! The first murmerings (sp?) here start at 3am but he will drop back off then until about 4. Then it's 2 hourly feeds until about 8 or 9!