NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

Just dropping into say hello as I'm determined to do less lurking and more chatting postnatally! Will add my birth story when my brain is slightly more in gear.

Koumak, tamlin, definitely a growth spurt over here. Paula had 3440g on monday and 3860 today! I find that really incredible (and I'm strangly proud of her and myself), if you think about it in percentage. That's about 70g each day. I wonder how much more I have to eat to get 70g extra to put somewhere.
But waking up only once at night? Wow. I'm already happy that we only have to feed every three hours compared to the sometimes non stop "nibbling" during the day. But at least she allows me to sleep again after the last feed until 9am. I suppose I should enjoy just having one child so far.
My husband is going back to work tomorrow, I guess that's when the real adventure for me will start.

Right, I will try to get my birth story down-dh has Hedy at the mo and she's asleep! For how long, who knows??

Contractions started after a hefty bout of gardening with my mum on Sunday 8th- we moved a couple of bushes and did all the weeding in the front garden- thought I would take advantage of mum's presence, as I am not good with plants! Went in for lunch and cx began to be every five minutes quite rapidly. Dh took ds to his friend's party and mum went up for a shower- I settled down to watch Wizard of Oz with tens machine on but very quickly cx were coming every two minutes. Called delivery suite and they said to come in asap as secind labours can be unpredictable.

Got to hosp and checked in and mw said I was 3cm and to go for a wander downstairs until pool room ready in about an hour. So mum and I wandered about the hosp foyer with me leaning against the wall every minute or so, cx coming thick and fast. Went back upstairs after about half an hour and got in the pool.

The pool was utter bliss and I was so so glad to have a chance to try it as I could not do with ds's birth as I never progressed eenough. The hangover from ds's birth was with me all the time through this birth though, I had to keep the fear at bay as I was terrified about potentially having another big baby, tear, broken coccyx. The midwife was great and kept saying 'this is different'

Cx just came on again and again, every minute with no let up. Was chugging away on the gas and air and feeling OK, but beginning to tire with the intensity of the cx. Midwife said she wanted to examine me after a couple of hours and said I was 5cm dilated. I felt quite deflated as I had been going for a few hours and was in intense pain all the time- began to be scared that this would be another very protracted labour and that I would get 'stuck' again as had been with ds. Fear is the absolute enemy of being relaxed in childbirth and I started to panic and ask for an epidural. Midwife was lovely and said that thoughs he could not guarantee how long things would be, it was likely that they would now go much more quickly. I think if she had been able to say- 'it will be an hour' I could have gone on, but I was starting to lose control mentally a bit - thoughts of emcs etc were flooding my brain.

So, got out and then had to lay on side waiting for anaesthetist and disaster struck at this point as my lovely calm midwife had to go off shift. Once I was out of the water and not allowed to move the pain went stratospheric- think spinning head/pestle and mortar effect!!

This was the beginning of the 'bad hour'!!

Anyway, you can see my 'am I being unreasonable' thread for what happened with the next midwife, but thank heavens, she was swapped in the end and I got another lovely one. In all the confusion no one examined me but the midwife later speculated that I was pprobably beginning transition while all this row was going on and that this was why the epidural when it eventually came did nothing whatever to dim the pain - aaarrrggghhh! The whole point of an epidural is to help with the pain but this was not happening!! After three top ups the edge was just about taken off the top end of the cxs but no more. Remember with ds that the pain just went entirely and I was even able to sleep for a couple of hours, but this time, nothing of the sort!

Ultimately though, after this really bad hour with the midwife changeover, swearing row etc, I managed with mum and mws help to get back in control mentally through the pain.

Mw got me to push, still lying on my left, with top leg held up by mum while dh was at my head end having his hands mangled. This was much, much better than last time (on back with legs in stirrups, NOT recommended)

Waters finally completely broke as I pushed and dd's head appeared. She was covered in meconium from head to foot, yikes.

Anyway, out she came and was whisked off to get breathing. This was horrible as I wanted her in my arms straight away and it took those few eternal seconds to hear her first cry.

Finally, there she was in my arms- WOW, just as good the second time as the first, immediate love.

Then we looked at her and dh, mum and I all agreed she was as big as ds if not bigger- yes, she was another 9lb 9ozer- I TOLD the midwife and consultant and everybody else who would listen that I KNEW she was big, and they had all told me she wasn't! A mother knows!

Anyway...

great moments:

being in the water was AMAZING. I would have loved to see it through and deliver her in watre too.

the radio was playing when we arrived at hosp, and I kid you not, it was playing 'sex on fire' by Kings of Leon which made us all laugh.

the midwife saying 'your mum and I think your dad are here' Oops, she meant mum and ddh (he's 14 yrs older than me) - that was highly amusing, although less so for dh!

The midwife put a cd on while I was in the pool and it had Take That's 'Greatest Day' on it, which just seemed to fit the moment beautifully.

Our first view of Hedy was of her very swollen labia, which prompted dh to say 'God!! She's got bigger bollocks than ds!' I'm sure she won't find that very funny when she is older...

When I was having my cxs in hospital, I had a very vivid mental picture of Hedy as a toddler, running around in the park- very strange and made me very emotional and excited- i could not wait to get her out.

Getting rid of the nasty matronly midwife was a bit of a triumph- taught me that you CAN assert yourself in labour. The midwife is so important and I am so glad I could work so well with the two brilliant ones I had.

So- I didn't do it with total grace and decorum, and I didn't do it without begging for an epidural, but I did it, I got another biggun out, I love her completely, and it was SO, SO much better than the first time

Fab birth stories

wook glad it wasn't just me that had blips in mental concentration in labour. I agree that it does extend it and makes it bloody hard work. I think I'd given up during mine and just wanted the pain gone, as I knew I was going to be there for a while.

Still all worth it in the end!!

usi ha, you made me laugh with the pushing bit - our NCT lady last time calls it the 'ring of fire' and it so is! That was the bit where I screamed too, gravity delivered his head and I felt every contour of his face right on my urethra which has to be the most painful thing I've ever experienced!!

I am much happier this end. After having 2 days and nights of cluster feeding (every hour) my milk has finally come in and so Ioan is finally getting more towards the 2/3 hour feeding I was hoping for. I have comedy breasts at the moment (my 36H bras are too small ) but hopefully they'll settle soon. He's just about managing to latch on so as yet not resorting to the hot flannels etc. or the savoy cabbage.
Have managed to crack feeding lying down at night and that works wonders, I tend to drop off feeding him and then wake up an hour or two later. He seems to sleep better next to me too so I feel much more refreshed today.

We even managed to get through DS' 4th birthday party yesterday. DS2 slept through it all and was a star. Back to doing very little today!!

I do the side-feeding too, but I get woken up by the poor little thing thrashing about and yelling and grunting with gas - and then I have to sit up and wind him for twenty minutes. Then he does an almighty belch, wakes up, and wants to nurse again. I've heard that there are babies who can just happily toot all the wind away in their sleep, but I don't seem to get that model.

wook, I read your thread about swearing - good lord, what an idiotic midwife.

I don't think I swore in labour - I tend to get terribly religious and just wail 'Oh God, oh God, I'm dying, oh God, please make it stop' in a monotonous whine. According to DH, that's far more irritating than swearing would be (and I was really pleased that I managed not to do the stereotypical berating-of-the-person-who-did-this-to-me bit!) This last time, I just remember praying aloud in the ambulance that Arthur wouldn't a) descend further into my pelvis, b) break the bag of waters and c) die, and it was all a bit incoherent. But still, swearing seems like an entirely understandable response...

Did anyone else not do the instantaneous bonding thing? I don't know if it's because I've never managed a natural second stage, but both times, I've managed a vague 'Oh good, the baby's alive and God, doesn't it look STRANGE, take it away' response and that's been about the extent of my interest at the time. People always say that you forget about everything once the baby's in your arms, but well, at the time, I'm always a lot more interested in the haemorrhage or the stitches or the horrendous pain or whatever. It seems to take about a week for me to fall in love with the baby properly. (Should probably add that at least this time, I didn't feel wildly guilty about it at least!)

Tamlin poor little mite, are you using Infacol? Some babies just find it hard to get it up don't they. Must make it difficult for you though sleep wise, as even if you've dozed off you're then up winding. Hope you're still managing to find ways to rest, esp as your DH is away.

Ioan got taken away instantly this time as he was in shock and not breathing properly. He got put up in the cot with 3 doctors around him giving him oxygen, whilst I was still squatting on the floor with one midwife holding the cord easing out the placenta, and the other one holding the bowl to catch it in. Bonding was the last thing on my mind - worry for Ioan and a slight disturbance that there were quite so many people with a full frontal view of my bits was more what was going on!
I think everyone reacts differently, and even from pregnancy to pregnancy depending on what's gone on. As you say, the trick is not to feel guilty about any of it

Uh, is it normal that Esme sleeps all day without a complaint, but cannot fall asleep at night unless she's on the breast? As soon as I undock her and put her in her bed she wakes. As soon as she's in my bed with nipple in mouth she's asleep. She's not hungry, she's burping up milk(only at night). Any ideas? don't want her to sleep next to me like that bc of SIDS.

Hello and thanks Broodzilla for setting up the thread

I love reading other people's birth stories and it amazing how different they all are yet all so special.

Here is my story

On Tuesday 10th Nov I went to bed with mild period pains, when I woke I still felt the same so sent Dh off to work. I dropped ds1 off at school and went to a friends house, by the time I left at 1pm I was getting bearable contractions every 10 mins, so I carried on as normal and went to set up for the school fair! By 4pm the contractions were still every 10 mins but were starting to get a bit painful so I went to pick the boys up from my mum and went home to cook tea.
At 6pm I sent dh to school fair with my apologies and went for a bath, contractions now every 7 mins, painful but manageable. By 7.30pm I decided I really was in labour and should call my mum to pick up the boys, I flew around sweeping the floor, checking bags and loading the washing machine, then at 8pm called the midwife, (contractions now every 5 mins) the midwife suggested I go in to be checked.
We arrived at the birthing centre about 9.15pm and was checked over, I was 4cm so she started running the pool (I remember thinking at this point, I've got another 6cm to go that could be 6 hours!! ) Anyway at 10.05pm the pool was ready and as I got in I had a massive contraction followed by 10 mins of nothing, then suddenly things kicked off and I screamed for Dh to get the midwife to give me some gas and air, but as she came in I shouted "I'm pushing", she took a look and said yes I can see the head, anyway after just a few pushes Henry Peter was born into my arms weighing 8lb 12oz.
Because things were so fast at the end I was really shaken and struggled to get out of the pool, once I did I was checked over and was amazed to have not a single graze or cut looking back, although those last 20 minutes were the most pain I've ever been in, it really was a wonderful birth experience and Henry was of course worth the pain, and I'm thrilled to have got my waterbirth (3rd time lucky)

I had the ward to myself for the 1st night and day and then shared it for 2 nights, I loved staying in and being looked after.

Who was saying about after pains though? Mine were horrendous this time (apparently they get worse with each birth)

Comma Henry was just like that last night too! Bet you feel as shattered as I do, also he kept pooing just as I settled him, so I was up down constantly.

Tigger great birth story and so pleased you got your water birth.

Comma you could try waking her up a little during the day so she's more sleepy at night. I spent last night with Ioan sleeping at the breast beside me as I fell asleep with him feeding, I also used this technique with my DD 15 years ago and all was fine.
I do try and make sure the quilt is away from him and cover him with his blanket.
Many books etc. will say that co-sleeping in the early weeks is a good way for mum to rest otherwise you can be up all night trying to settle them.
Another thing could be that it's too dark for her - I put a dimmer switch on with DD and a red bulb in and that seemed to soothe her, she didn't like the pitch black. Maybe a night light might help?
It's worth trying a few things to sort it as otherwise you'll be on your knees with exhaustion before you know it.

Lovely to read the birth stories. Here's mine! Warning it's very long and not pretty.

On 29th September when I was 34 weeks pregnant I'd had a crazy day of cooking and organising cupboards. I'd been having pains all day but had convinced myself it was BH or wind. DH came home from work and was having contractions 5 mins apart. I rang the hospital who said to come in and get checked out so off we went with bags just in case about 11pm all the time I kept apologising to DH saying it was obviously a false alarm and sorry cos he'd be tired at work in the morning.

When I got to hospital went straight to labour ward as I had gestatinal diabetes in pregnancy, had tested positive for gbs strep and had a few other complications. I was met by a midwife who hooked me up to a monitor that wasn't working properly. She rang a doctor and the pair of them were discussing how they were sure I wasn't in labour. They watched me having a contraction and were both like 'oh well I didn't feel anything, did you?'. I'm sure they thought I was one of those crazy people who go to hospital when there is nothing wrong with them! The doctor finally examined me and I was told 'the head is down (whatever that means) and that I was 2cm dilated and wouldn't be going home till the baby was born and they wouldn't do anything to speed up the labour as the longer he was inside the better as he was premature.

I stayed hooked up to the monitor and was given a steroid injection to help baby's lungs develop. The midwife failed to put a canula in one hand (ow ow) but managed to get it in another. There were two tubes coming out of the canula and throughout the labour they kept swapping these around to give me antibiotics every 4 hrs / insulin / saline stuff as I was dehydrated and something else I can't remember. As a result I was stuck to the bed unable to move around and could only go to the toilet about once every 4 hrs! They also made me test my blood sugar every hour.

Was in labour overnight and 3-4 cm dilated the next morning. I stupidly agreed to have a medical student watch the labour, thinking they meant only the end bit but instead had to make small talk with an awkward gangly bloke for hours till i eventually lost patience and told DH 'He has to go!" The contractions got stronger as the day went on and I was determined to go without pain relief for as I knew an epidural would slow things down and I jut wanted to get things over with.

By about 4pm the next day I was examined as 8-9 cm dilated and contractions were coming thick and fast. They agreed to break my waters at 4pm and then it all goes a bit hazy as I turned into a screaming banshee and things really started to speed up. By that point I hated the gas and air but midwife kept making me have it to take my mind off things. When it was time to push I had my legs in stirrups and then decided I needed to go for a wee. Obviously I couldn't as by this point the head had started to appear but as I wasn't thinking logically I convinced myself that DH and the midwife had some sort of conspiracy against me and kept shouting things like 'why is nobody listening to me' 'I don't believe you-there is no head!' and eventually when told to push I said 'you pull him out!' anyway it was only about 10 mins of pushing and his whole body came out in one go. I had the injection for the placenta and had to have stitches for two second degree tears. Bitch midwife came in to do these and kept having a go at me for crying when it hurt. I couldn't believe it I was so drained....

Anyway Isaac was born at 5.37pm. He came out screaming so there was no problem with his lungs and everything else seemed to be ok. His temperature was fine and the doctors seemed happy. They gave him a little bottle of formula and he had a tiny bit but nobody said anything. I was told they needed to take his blood so I went to have my shower and I instructed DH to go and not let anybody take Isaac anywhere without him. When I got out of the shower DH came back on his own to say that they'd decided to admit Isaac to special care to monitor him for infection and because there were other risk factors like my diabetes. I was really upset when I found out after going through the whole bloody birth I wouldn't be allowed to stay with him so I was sent to a ward upstairs, Isaac went to the SCBU and DH had to go home.

We were both distraught and our introduction to the SCBU wasn't great. Every time I went there I was told it was bad timing as the doctors kept taking Isaac off to stick various needles in him they originally told me he may be in for 3 days, which I later found out they'd told me just so I didn't go too crazy as usually babies are expected to stay in special care till they would've been full term, so 3-4 weeks in this case. Isaac couldn't keep down food so had to be fed by a tube in his nose. Once in special care he did great and made a massive improvement in such a short space of time and with a bit of pushing on our part was out in a week after spending time under the lamp for jaundice etc. The staff in the SCBU were amazing but that week we had to leave him at the hospital was bloody rubbish. I had no idea that babies born at that time could have so many problems. I'd give anything to have been pregnant 6 more weeks not to have had that week apart.

Anyway last week passed my official due date and the little fella is 7 weeks old on Weds and turning into a right little chubster and has the most gorgeous smile and a weird obsession with staring at the living room door.

Sorry for mammoth post. Was quite cathartic to get all that off my chest as hadn't really had time to process it since.

It's so nice to read all your birth stories.
Lemontop, you certainly had a hard time and it must have been terrible for you to spend a week apart from Isaac. But he seems to do really well now and I'm sure looking at him makes you forget the bad times.
tamlin, I was really amazed by the whole situation and couldn't really believe that "this" was my baby. But I did need some time for the bonding. And both my husband and I thought that Paula looked like a little Alien (actually like E.T.) and like a perfectly normal newborn... not the cutest we have ever seen. (she does now btw )

Hi all,

I am really enjoying reading everyones birth stories, it's such an amazing experience that we have all been through. Its been great confiding in you guys for the past 9 months and now we have our babies we can share in the joys and pitfalls of that too. Oh dear, I'm getting mushy, must be the hormones!

Comma I know what you mean about the sleeping all day but only on the breast at night, having the same problem here! I went out and bought one of those cots with the side missing that goes right up against the bed so that it feels like you are co sleeping but is safer. Can't remember the make but it is the one recommended on here. However, when Millie wakes for her 4am ish feed I do tend to fall asleep with her on the breast and we end up staying that way till ds wakes us up!

Like scarlotti I try to keep the duvet away from Millie and use a muslin over her as feel she gets warmth from my body! scarlotti thanks for the tip about the light and babies not liking total darkness. Last night Millie cried everytime I turned the lights out and I remarked to dh that I thought she might be scared. I think he thinks I'm being silly but I'm going to leave the lights on dimly tonight and see if that helps.

lemontop must have been so hard being away from Isaac, can't even imagine. Glad you are all together now and it sounds like he is doing so well.

My midwife came round today and Millie has put on another 10 oz since last Wednesday, that means that since her birth 2 weeks ago she has put on 1 lb 2 oz, the little piggy!! I really must stop eating cake and biscuits so that my waistline can benefit from all this breastfeeding!

I use sleep sacks for the co-sleeping - he goes over the top of the duvet, I go underneath! It also means that I can put him in and out of the moses basket without him going into cold bedding.

Scarlotti, I do have him on the Infacol. I think that the problem is the same as his brother had - firstly, I have an overactive letdown which means they both choke and gasp and splutter while nursing, and secondly, they've got immature digestive systems (there's a LOT of puking going on). The letdown should ease up at the four-month mark, and as for the immature digestive system - well, only time will fix that. It's just bloody exhausting. He's SUCH a good baby aside from the rotten wind problem.

Tamlin I might move to the grobags then as the point about cold bedding hadn't occurred to me, and perfect for co-sleeping too.
La Leche suggests the rugby hold for fast letdown mums as apparently it directs the flow to a different part of their mouth and so less spluttering - not sure if there's anything in that. At least you have the experience of your DS1 though so know what's causing it and when it will ease.

Here I have rock hard melons so it's getting him latched on in the first place that's tough. One cry from him and they rival Pamela Anderson's!!

Does anyone know if we can use grobags straight away or do the babies have to be a certain weight? I've got loads from when ds was a baby but can't remember how old he was when I started using them.

Helips i was wondering that myself- I have put Hedy in hers but it does bunch up at the back. However, there is absolutely no way she could slip down inside it so I feel pretty safe with it. Maybe their website has advice?

Ioan slept in his last night - he's actually too big for me to fasten the poppers under the arms so I guess they're fine!!
I think as long as your little one can't wriggle down then it's fine.
I'm going to have to check the guidance for room temp though as am sure he was a bit too hot this morning when the heating kicked on.

Thanks guys, think I'll put Millie in hers tonight, she is over 8 lb now so think it will be alright. Checked the grobag label and it says to be used for babies over 7lb so should be ok. Hopefully I'll get a better nights sleep tonight, I got dh to get up with Millie in the end as I was knackered and then ds woke up and dh had to deal with both of them, ha ha! Dh still had more sleep than me though but still moaned that he was tired this morning!

I'll admit that I'm being really careless about the room temperature with this baby. With DS1, I was paranoid about it, even though the recommended 18 degrees wasn't at ALL comfortable for me or my husband - my feet and hands were permanently frozen, and every time I put DS1 to the breast, his fists were jolly cold. Eventually an Aussie friend of mine pointed out patiently that Australian babies survived summer nights despite having much warmer temperatures, and I thought right, no more freezing to death.

I put Arthur in the sleepsack as soon as he'd uncrumpled enough from the newborn pretzel to hold his arms outstretched.

Quick moan - I just found out that when DH has Arthur from 9 until midnight, he's MICROWAVING the breastmilk because he can't be bothered faffing about with bowls of warm water. He says that Arthur wakes up properly and yells his head off if he does it that way - so I'm half-killing myself pumping while DH is cheerily nuking all the immunological benefits dead. Does anyone have a recommendation for a speedy bottle warmer? Also, has anyone bothered to research BPA-free bottles..? I wasn't bottle-feeding DS1 when the whole Bisphenol-A scandal hit the news, so I didn't pay much attention.

Tamlin I didn't know the microwave would nuke the benefits - will store that nugget of info. We got given a bottle warmer with DS1 and they work a treat, only takes a minute or so to warm it through so will work for the most impatient of DH's (I have one of those versions too )
I use the closer to nature tommee tippee bottles and they are BPA free, and are supposed to be more like a breast shape. Have to say that Ioan seems to manage to switch from one to the other without any hassle.

Questions:
Do you all offer both breasts for each feed? I have a thread in breast feeding as I'm confused as to what to offer and for how long. I just do one side until he's had enough - should I be doing both? If so, when do I switch?

Expressing - should this be done before/after or outside of a feed? Does it also contribute to the supply/demand thing or not as it's a different action?

Feeding seems to be the topic of my existence at the moment! Engorgement was so bad last night I could barely sleep and Ioan could barely latch on. the joys...

I hadn't heard of BPA before but according to this list the DR Brown ones I'm using are ok.

safemama.com/2007/11/22/bpa-free-bottle-and-sippy-cup-cheat-sheet/

I'm jealous of all you mums managing to breastfeed successfully. I gave up as I just wasn't producing enough. Isaac never really latched on so was relying on EBM only and I was constantly feeding or expressing and the supply just ran dwindled eventually. I didn't realise that while Isaac was in the hospital I should've been expressing though the night etc to build up a supply. Bottle feeding is a right pain and they reckon makes Colic worse.

It still hasn't quite sunk in that I'm a mother. Every now and then I'll be doing the washing or something and be hanging out tiny socks and I'll think 'Oh my god i'm a mum!' despite having spent all day and night every day with my son. I'm sure it'll hit home eventually.

scarlotti when feeding ds I offered both sides, once he'd finish on one side i'd change his bum then offer the other side. With Millie sometimes she has just one side, sometimes both. If she falls asleep on the boob I just leave her and if she wants more i'm sure she'll let me know. I haven't expressed this time yet, think last time I used to do it between feeds but I do think it's a bit of a hassle. Mind you, if you feel engorged then it's good to express some off first as its easier for baby to latch on.

scarlotti, I try to offer both sides. I think it is recommended by NCT and La Leche League (my midwife did not agree. She thought one is enough). I think both are better as they are quite evenly full and it's not the one almost exploding. During the day, Paula has periods of constant feeding so it is no problem to switch. At night, she usually sucks like mad and it is hard to stop her. I am usually scared she will once again throw it up again so I really try to stop and wind her after a while ... and then she falls a sleep before taking the second side. Even nappy changing doesn't wake her up again. So at night it is usually only one side.

Today we had our first attempt to get a passport photo. We failed. She just didn't even wake up (she sleeps perfectly when we are going for a walk). How on earth will I ever get her being awake, looking straight into the camera, not smiling or screaming???? Tomorrow, I'll try another branch with a starbucks next to it. So I might just wait there and maybe feed her a tiny little bit so she doesn't just fall asleep again.
And why would they need such a perfect picture for newborns? Even her eyecolour is probably going to change!

scaRLOtti I think it matters not--every book recommends sthg else. I take the last breast if it still feels full so E gets hindmilk, otherwise the other side.

lemon my god, I would have gone crazy with babe gone for a week. I had the instant bond-thing wth both of them where I don't want to miss a milli second.

helips the co-sleeper is too high for my platform bed.
Last night was good though- I ditched her bed and had her lie in the bed, but at a good distance from me. That way I didn't really have to haul her around. I also covered her with my duvet as I don't have a warm blanket for her. she was in a little sleep suit, but she gets cold still and cold baby won't sleep. The duvet is large enough so her part doesn't move when I move. But will s till get her her own blanket. And the light is on a dimmer, so I can see her right away without havgn to fumble for the lights. Plus I kept her cooler over the day, so she wa smore awake.
It worked really well. Didn't notice the constant bf really, as was so easy to do, and baby didn't have long periods awake as wasn't hauled around so much.