NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

Is it bad that I have I have left Millie in her car seat as she is sleeping so that I can mumsnet? I'll get her out soon but know then she'll properly be awake and ds is napping and I just want half an hour of piece and quiet!

It doesn't help that dh has gone to twickenham to watch the rugby, he left at 9 am this morning and won't be back till 9-10pm tonight. I sympathise with you brood! Dh said to me, I don't know why you are so bothered, you look after them all week so why is today any different? Exactly, I look after them all week and come the weekend I want some support!

helips, that is understandable. I usually get sundays and mondays together with dh so that is like our weekend. I was a bit miffed when dh had to suddenly work last sunday, tho i kno it was work and not play so i should have been grateful really i suppose for the extra money coming in over the christmas period.

As long as it is not a regular thing to leave her in the carseat i'd say it is fine, I had to do it with ds sometimes and he is fine.

helips, I leave Paula in her pram on the balcony when she is still sleeping after our walks. It's usually the most productive time of the day. and at your husbands thought. only a man can think like that I guess

helips I just took DS1 to a party and Ioan slept in his car seat the whole time - 2 hrs. At home he'd be in his pram so I don't think it's a problem if it's not a regular thing.

Thanks for all the reassurance about the spots. Am just cleaning him with water at every nappy change now hoping they'll go. HV said the milk dribbles might be infecting them

DH now has a cold which is also on his chest, so is dying am not overly impressed. I had D&V and still managed the night feeds and was up the next day. Even after I'd said I'd need help, he went back to bed in the morning to sleep off his night out. Will wait until after he's better but am definitely going to have to have a word otherwise resentment will build, plus last time it was all left to me I ended up with pnd - not something I want repeating.
He's managed to find the energy to make the lasagne - guess 3 hours in bed this afternoon whilst I took both boys to a party helped
Not that I'm bitter!

Have changed position for Ioan's feeding - was getting lots of milk back up and lots of fussing so have moved to the rugby hold and it seems to be better - is this me imagining the difference? For those with fast milk, did your babies fuss a lot and come off a lot because of that? Am sure I read somewhere that this position helps with fast flow so wondering if tonight's feeds might be a little more succesful..?!

Oh, and there is two xmas do's for DH in this house that 'must' be attended. Both followed by a day off for him to recover and catch up on his sleep

DS1 slept a lot of the time in his car seat - these were before the 'oooh oooh car seat BAD' days. He's fine!

Toby sleeps in car seat, pushchair, sling, moses basket, on my chest, anywhere really!

Scarlotti I don't know how you managed to cope with D&V. I know what it's like, you just do because you have no choice. Men are just crap at being ill. My DH is the same and in fact always says 'you didn't seem to suffer as much as me' when he catches whatever it is. Yeah right!

I really could cope without Christmas this year. We've been out again this afternoon getting DSs hair cuts and buying cards for DS1's classmates, presents from them to daddy. I still need to take each one out to get the other a present (how I am going to manage that I don't know), and still a few family presents to get. Never mind the wrapping, the tree, the decs. Sigh. Bah humbug this year!!!!

waves Just book marking again, PC has been down so lost you all!

ErikaMaye where have you been? Seeems ages since you poked your head up here How's it going?

Yes, how is Bryn doing?

It's bad to let them sleep in their carseats..? When did that happen?! Neither of mine have been overly keen on it, but I've got friends whose kids always slept in them.

Yay! I'm here!

Back from hospital last night after a looong labour - arrived at birth centre at midnight on Monday and Rosa was finally born with a forceps-assisted delivery (just avoided a section) on Thursday morning at 6.22am. She weighed in at a healthy 8lbs and half an ounce . We got home last night and have had our first lazy day at home, punctuated only by the midwife's visit this afternoon.

Exhausted, pretty sore, but on the mend and very very happy at the moment.

It is actually such a privilege to be a later mummy as I get to read all of your wise words here before freaking out about problems. Of course, then I'll probably just freak out in my own style anyway.

Looking forward to catching up with you all again.

raggie, congratulations to your little Rosa (what a cute name) Glad to hear that you could avoid a section.
scarlotti, I've heard that position change helps. I usually lean back so the milk has to flow upwards. I quite like the rugby hold too. And very often, she suddenly stops drinking and starts crying in the normal position but will continue in the rugby hold. And at your midwife. I read and heard several times that you can actually use the breastmilk to help the spots to heal.

Well, sister plus family just went back to the hotel (4year old nephew wants to go back to Vienna as he "doesn't have the heart" to sleep there). Both kids have changed so much (haven't seen them for 6 month) and are sooo cute with Paula. I'm really happy they came over

congratulations Raggie!

Morning all! I'm a zombie again today. I went to a Body Shop party last night, didn't stay long (was in bed by 10pm) but Toby woke for milk as usual, DS1 needed his inhaler in the night and DS2 had bad dreams so I am sooooo tired zzzz

DH has gone to London today to take the Japanese proficiency exam (something I did 12 years ago!). So I am home alone with three children today for the first time until 8.45pm tonight. I need courage, I need happy vibes, I need wakeful vibes please!!! My mum is coming over after lunch to keep me company so that'll help, although I am going to use her as a babysitter and take Toby food shopping as we have NO FOOD AT ALL.

BBL good luck for today - sending you all sorts of happy, coping, content baby vibes You can do it, although take it easy as I was stunned by how tired I was after having all the DC's, and we didn't even do that much!

I'm starting to struggle a little. Feeding is becoming an issue for me again, sigh. I struggle with positioning at night and it all becomes a bit stressful. I'm wondering if the problem at 3/4am is actually that he's not waking up enough, and whether I should just leave him until he cries properly. Maybe I'm too tied to what the clock says and not responding enough to his crying cues? It's all so much more difficult at night as I'm just so tired too!
He's just so heavy that I find it hard to support his weight, so we use cushions/pillows and then we both get so hot!
Might phone the NCT helpline again, they were so helpful last time and made me feel able to trust my instincts.

This parenting lark doesn't seem to get any easier!!

Scarlotti I hope the NCT helpline can help you. Does he not wake up fully in the night then? Toby screams the place down when he wakes!!!

Toby is asleep for his first nap of the day so I am relaxing writing Christmas cards! The DSs are being very good actually so far and are playing holidays at the moment!

Scarlotti how about changing his nappy so that he is fully awake before you feed him? Deffo give the NCT helpline a ring, hope they can give you some wise words!

bbl good luck looking after all the kids today, it's good that your mum is coming to help out, do you think you could sneek off for a nap then?

congrats raggie lovely to have you on board, Rosa is a beautiful name and sounds like you have really been through the mill but got there in the end. Well done you!

I moved dd out of the car seat in the end as she was getting very sweaty in there! However, she continued to sleep for the duration of ds' nap, yay, so lots of mumsnetting for me!!

Am really pissed off with dh. He went to the Rugby yesterday and promised me who would come home as soon as the statin was less busy, wouldn't go drinking afterwards and be home by 9pm. Anyway, 9pm comes and goes and I haven't heard from him. Try texting and ringing but no joy, which is annoying in itself because what if it was an emergency? Anyway, he finally calls me to tell me he's on his way at 9.30pm, sounding pretty pissed, and gets home at 11pm. I was livid and had a major wobbly at him, he was so drunk though he didn't really say much, just that he needed to go to bed. I was really upset and couldn't get to sleep, then ds and dd woke up so had to deal with them. This morning he muttered a sorry but I said it's not good enough and since then we have been barely speaking. He has made no effort at remorse and doesn't seem bothered that I am upset. Not only this but he has several work xmas do's coming up so I know there is going to be more of the same. I'm just so fed up with him going out, getting pissed, not being home when he says, and me being stuck at home with the kids exausted. AAArrgghhh, rant over!

station not statin!

No nap today - I need to go food shopping as we literally have no food at all in the house. We are eating the last scrapes for lunch. Perhaps I could nap in the car!!!

These DHs! I'm not mad at mine for goign to London for the day as he has wanted to do this exam for ages and ages.

Just about managing to feed the DSs while Toby has his second nap today (in his basket - yeah!!).

Does anyone else feel like they are constantly feeding..even though I leave 2-2.5hours between feeds,because she's awake it just feels like one feed blends into the other.. She is forever screaming for more food...sigh..

These DHs!!! helips you are right to be mad..really mad..and rant away...mine keeps forcing me to sleep and saying that he will look after the los..but how can a mummy ignore the sound of her screaming baby..boy does she scream....I'm so tired, my milk has dried up completely today..

Scarlotti I agree..try changing nappy first if he's not awake fully..or mid feed if he falls asleep..mine does the same at the 7-ish am feed.. I'm so tired too though that I fall asleep and then she wakes again and we have a snacky day and it goes all pear shaped!
Don't be so hard on yourself and remember we're all in the same boat. I also think you should wait for him to cry..Charlotte fidgets for an hour until she finally cries out which at least wakes her up. unfortunately I've been awake for a whole hour waiting!..

How long are your babies napping for..???

Oh helips I do feel for you as am often in the same boat I think they just don't get (or forget) what it's like at home with DC's, especially when the booze is addling their brain. What I find the most annoying is the (empty) promises of being home by x or not drinking too much, that never get kept. Think it would be easier to deal with if I was told 'home by 3am and rat arsed' at least then you know what you're dealing with!

I tend to change Ioan's nappy mid feed so he wakes up more to take some more. At 4am I try not to change him unless he's dirty. Am going to try leaving him tonight until he's crying for food and see what happens.

Scarlotti I'm having trouble nursing at the 4am feed esp whilst laying down in bed because he seems to get too much milk for the first few attempts which makes the latching difficult and I get a bit sore. He then has a dirty nappy and I feel like I'm still going until 5am! Have you got a chair in your bedroom with a blanket and you could both cuddle up and feed in a better position? Or, maybe give him a bottle of expressed milk at that time? I'm starting DH off with the last feed of the night with an expressed bottle. I can't continue doing the midnight feed as I'm starting to feel the strain with DS1 to get up for and get to pre-school in the mornings. Also, the mornings he seems to not sleep and wants to nurse and is a fuss pot up until lunch time. He then happily sleeps the afternoon away.

Talking of bf. My bras have been feeling very tight and my breasts have been hurting and feeling bruised, so I've now got a bigger bra and my breasts don't feel so battered. Also, I've been sleeping without a bra of breastpads and now wrap a towel around me to soak up any milk, I'll probably regret this when I see the sagging! I've decided how much I dislike breast pads! Can't do without them though!

scarlotti, I would wait until he is more hungry. I've noticed that I had tried to feed Paula when she wasn't hungry yet. But the NCT helpline will certainly have the right tipps for you.
helips, I totally understand you. We have similar problems here but not that bad for the moment (can't wait for those x-mas dos though). It would make everything easier if they wouldn't drink at least. They are no help if they are drunk, and even the next day, it's better not to give them the baby.

Sister and family just left, we really had a great day. Went to the museum of natural history to watch Dinos which was quite a succes. My nephew was a bit scared of the "alive" one (a big one that moved!) when we had to pass it whereas his younger sister was just enjoying it and saying "bye bye Dino". Once we had passed it, he was the big boy again, telling us that he had to tell his best friend that there was still a Dino alive.

My god, you all have a schedule for feeding at night?? I don't even have a watch. works for me though, that way I never think about it and its over before I know it; Esme wakes when she is hungry, then I (sort of) wake. It really helps to bf lying down. Somebody recenlty wrote she gave up on that, but try not to. It takes a while to work out, but then it's soo easy and you don't acually interrupt your sleep much. It also gets much easier once they can control those little wobble heads a bit better.

Am actually quite well together. Dh has been watching Esme in the swing the last couple evenings, so I got a few hours sleep before she was hungry. Bliss! Also Esme's cold is almost cleared up, I decorated the xmas tree, we have v pretty snow and the afternoon is reserved for baking xmas cookies with dd1.

Dh has one to work, but will take Wednesday off. I had a talk with him and over xmas he will go to work early and come home early. I have a good morning routine worked out, but the evenings are hard alone so v happy with that. Even though didn't work out today, bc, as he claims, he had to shovel snow. He's a bit of a night person, so I gave him a firm speech on how we should stick to the plan.

About the dhs: on your behalf, girls with difficult dhs! They really really have no idea, what stories! I remember that I was really embarrased of how unsupportive dh was with dd1 as baby...everybody had all helpful and caring dhs, and I was stuck with somebody who didn't seem to be able to care less. But that wasn't true as I know now, he just didn't have a clue. At all.
Def leave them alone as soon as you can, first, it tells them how much work it is and second, it makes you relinquish a bit of baby-control. No good always barging in and telling them what to do, even if everythign seems to get out of control quickly. Best not to watch, but know the baby will likely survive...

never mind the spelling, please! Have to rush to feed baby and change dd1.

So it's not just me with a rubbish dh then! We are talking now, just, but only because I couldn't bear it any longer. I hate the whole passive aggressive not talking thing but I can have a good sulk when I want to! However, still haven't had an apology or explanation and am still hurt that he would do that when we have a 1 month old baby. Especially as he did the same when I was 8 months pregnant with Sciatica and he said he felt really bad the following day and promised it would never happen again Like you say scarlotti it would be easier if they said home by late o clock pissed as a fart!

ursiguke Sounds like you had a lovely afternoon, I can't wait for the dc's to be old enough to appreciate the natutal history museum. I have fond memories of going as a child!

fruitpastels I'm with you on the loathing of breastpads. Can't wait to stop using them, can't remember how long it took for my boobs to settle down last time so I didn't have to wear them anymore.

Quick question for you guys, do you use any shampoo when bathing the babies yet? So far I'm just washing in water only but dd is quite sicky and wondering if I should use a gentle shampoo on her. She can get a bit whiffy!

sleepless there doesn't seem to be a pattern to Millies sleeping yet, although she sleeps a lot in the day though. Am sure that will change soon!

comma2 crossed posts! I don't have a feeding schedule for night but do look at the clock and it seems to be around the 2 o clock mark, although does vary sometimes!