So... I may be jumping the queue a little here, but as I said to Katster in the other thread, maybe sharing the labour stories might help the ones still on the other side? (Who knows, writing it all down might make it easier for us to get our heads around it too?)
Here goes.
The accidental natural birth.
On the 5th of October I persuaded DH to give me a relaxing footrub in bed. I'd had contractions a couple of days before and my hands and feet had suddenly swollen, but the MW had assured me the day before that I might as well get Xmas shopping as I would still be pregnant mid-November. (She was so sure that I was not about to have a baby that she didn't even bother to check if he was engaged.) As I was 36 weeks I told DH that he should focus on my ankles next week as I'd heard that you might induce labour by massaging around the achilles tendon... and with those famous last words I turned over to go to sleep. With that, there was a massive gush of water flooding the bed.
I checked to see that it was clear, and told DH to call the hospital. I think I may have been slightly shocked as I started shivering and shaking uncontrollably, but I had no contractions and felt fine otherwise.
The Midwife asked us to come in to be monitored as the waters had broken prematurely. I checked the contents of the hospital bags one last time, told DH to gather to "add at the last minute"-bits (once we got to the hospital I realized he'd left the bag at home...) and went to have a shower. The warm water instantly stopped the shaking and by the time I was dressed and ready to leave the house I was completely calm.
Once we got to the hospital they confirmed that my waters had indeed gone (after the initial gush the leaking never stopped, apparently the fluid regenerates...) and they strapped me to a monitor. I was having contractions, but they were still irregular. Lukas was asleep and despite prodding him, walking around, drinking cold water and then coffee, he wasn't waking up. The MW kept coming back but I wasn't too worried as I thought he might be gathering strength for what was ahead.
As I wasn't in active labour I got transferred to the hospital ward to be monitored. They started me on antibiotics. DH went home about 3AM to get some sleep. During the early hours, the contractions felt like period pains and they were getting quite regular. By the morning they were enough to be toe-curling, but nothing I couldn't manage. During the morning rounds I was strapped to a monitor again - Lukas was awake by now too.
DH came back mid-morning and we had to decide whether or not we wanted to do an internal exam to see if there was any progress. They explained that once an exam was done, they'd have to induce me within 24 hours due to an increased risk of infection. At lunchtime we decided to go outside and walk around to see if things would speed up. As we were walking, the contractions got stronger and more frequent - they felt a bit like a stitch - painful enough for me to want to stop walking while I had one, but we were still chatting and laughing.
Once we got back to the ward, we decided it was time for the examination. We felt that Lukas was definitely on his way either way. I was examined and told I was 1cm dialated, so there was no turning back! Throughout the afternoon the contractions slowly got stronger and more frequent, lasting anywhere between 60 - 90 seconds and coming about 7 minutes apart. I was breathing through them just fine but was getting conscious of the other people in the room (I was behind a curtain, and the other 3 people in the room were there long term, one due to high blood pressure, one due to UTI and one for something else... but all were weeks away from labour and happily chatting away, watching TV and playing games.)
I felt self conscious and didn't want to put them off by being noisy.)
We decided to go outside again. It was raining, and the contractions were getting stronger, so we decided to go and sit in the car. DH put Norah Jones on and I tried to relax, but ended up opening the door with each contraction as I was worried about being sick in the car. Once the contractions got to a point where I wasn't managing to talk through them anymore, we went back to the ward. By now, they were painful enough for me to be leaning against the wall and completely focus on my breathing to get through them. I was offered paracetamol "to take the edge off", and it did help a little. I seemed to develop almost like a tunnel-vision during contractions and would focus on one small thing (a leaf outside or a little spot on the floor inside) and blow at it with every breath out. DH went home to feed the cats.
About 6PM I called DH to make sure he was coming back soon as I was starting to find the pain distracting. By now I was leaning against the bed with each contraction, quietly breathing out, still conscious about everyone else in the room. I asked for painrelief, but was told paracetamol was all I could have as I wasn't in active labour... all other painrelief would be administered downstairs at the labour ward, but I'd only be moved there once labour was in progress. I wasn't offered another internal exam, so I'm not sure how I was assessed as "not being in active labour". I took a shower to distract me.
After a shift change a new MW introduced herself and asked how we were doing. I explained that I was finding the contractions harder to cope with and asked about painrelief, but was told the same as before - paracetamol only until labour was established. I was, however, given a TENS machine which I found helped a lot - mostly as a distraction.
Just after 8PM the contractions were coming every couple of minutes and they were strong enough for me to only be able to ask DH to push the "booster button" on the TENS machine. The MW came to tell DH that visiting hours would be over at 9PM and he should get ready to go home. I broke down in tears as I didn't see how I could manage on my own. Luckily an older MW stepped in and said they'd transfer me to a private room (still on the ward) until I'd be in active labour and could go downstairs. DH was allowed to stay.
I can't remember moving to the private room, and only vaguely remember asking DH to make sure the toilet was clean. There was a private shower too, but I was not about to unstrap the TENS machine which I felt was the only thing keeping me sane. The contractions were now so strong that I spent all my time on all fours, but I was relieved to finally be able to make some noise and blew raspberries with each breath out during the contractions as I'd read that this would relax the cervix (sphincter law!) and I really wanted things to start progressing.
The MW popped in to check on us, asked me how I was coping with the pain, and DH said she looked surprised to see me doubled over, but when I asked for painrelief I got the same answer as before - although I was also offered Pethidine. I declined, as that was the one thing on my birth plan that I'd specified I absolutely didn't want - I was worried about the effect it might have on Lukas. I decided to grin and bare it.
Everything else was getting kind of hazy, I was really only thinking about breathing. I kept drinking water to make sure I stayed hydrated, but there was no way I'd have been able to eat anything. I was starting to feel like a whimp - I couldn't believe my plan had been to give birth naturally as I was really starting to struggle and I wasn't even in labour! I was disappointed in myself, and frustrated at the lack of progress. I was also tired, as I'd been awake since Monday morning and it was now Tuesday evening.
I started to feel like I needed to poo with every contraction, but I didn't think I'd make it to the toilet - I just wanted to lean against the bed. The urge was getting stronger with each contraction, but I kept breathing and trying to ignore it. Finally I told DH to pull the emergency cord - I'd had enough and I was starting to feel like something wasn't right. I told him I didn't think I could cope without painrelief any longer. All I could think was: I'm not even in labour, 1cm dialated means it's likely to take another 10 hours and get 10 times worse. I was sure that, while I was still (just about) coping, if the pain was going to get 10 times worse, I would pass out. (Or die... )
DH pulled the emergency cord and a MW came in. She reluctantly agreed to do an internal examination to see if I might be in active labour and get transferred downstairs. She looked slightly shocked and said "you're having a baby". It turns out that I didn't need a poo at all - it was Lukas' head that was on its way out. Suddenly everyone was rushing around, DH was running alongside the bed as I was being wheeled to the elevator. I can't remember any of it, but he tells me that I was insisting on staying on all fours with my naked bum on display so they threw a towel over me as I was wheeled through the ward. They weren't sure I'd make it downstairs so they had two midwives come along for the ride.
Once we got to the labour-ward, I was strapped to a monitor (this was the first time since the morning when Lukas and I had actually been monitored!) and told to start pushing. I asked for gas and air and took a deep breath (I'd been waiting for that all day) but didn't feel it did much apart from make me light headed. (DH says that I chucked the mouthpiece across the room and shouted F**K THIS, it's too late.) The MWs had me in a half-sitting half-lying position on my back, and I didn't feel comfortable or able to push. I kept telling them I needed to be on all fours but they kept insisting that I stay as I was. By now Lukas' heartrate was dipping with each contraction. They kept telling me to push harder, but I felt like I was giving it all I had. When one of them told me to imagine I was really constipated and needing to have a big poo, I apparently swore and told them I wouldn't be pooing in that position and turned myself over onto all fours.
Magic happened - Lukas' heartrate stabilised right away. I felt like I could concentrate on the pushing. I was exhausted and the contractions were a lot weaker, I didn't feel I had much help from them. (with hindsight, I should've pushed while I was still upstairs...) After an hour of pushing and the head reversing after each attempt someone mentioned the ventouse. I gave it one last shot, dug up strenght from god knows where - and the head finally came out. DH wanted to be supportive so he watched everything... with another push Lukas was out. I remember thinking he was oddly quiet and asked why he wasn't crying (DH says this only lasted for a few seconds while Lukas was gasping for air.)
DH cut the cord. Lukas was checked and measured while I delivered the placenta (with Syntocin, not something I'd wanted but was too tired to argue). I needed one stitch in the perineum (and a couple elsewhere... I had no idea you can also tear the labia...)
None of it seemed real. I'd been awake for 40 hours. I'd only been told a couple of hours earlier that I was not in active labour. Moments earlier I'd been wondering how on earth I'd cope once labour actually started if I was having such trouble coping with the "pre-labour twinges"... I'd been worrying about it all still being ahead of me and now it was all over.
The MW asked if I was planning to breastfeed and if I'd like to hold Lukas and give it a go. I wasn't sure I'd know what to do as my ante-natal classes were supposed to start on the same day...
Finally, Lukas was placed in my arms. I'll never forget when he looked up at me for the first time. The breastfeeding? I needn't have worried, as he latched on like a professional. The MWs left the room for a while to give us a bit of time as a family.
A cup of tea, some toast and a shower later we were all back in the room upstairs where I'd been "not-labouring" away...
I'll never understand what on earth made the MWs think that I wasn't in labour (even though I can understand their reluctance to do an internal examination) and I've only later realized that we're very lucky that Lukas was ok as he or I weren't being monitored (no need, as I "wasn't in labour"...) at all for pretty much all of what actually WAS labour.
My notes say that I officially went from 1cm to fully dialated in 2,5 hours... I think that I was actually labouring away all day. Who knows - nobody checked.
Still - while I wish that I'd know that I WAS making progress (and therefore WAS coping...) rather than thinking it would have to take another 10 hours and get 10 times worse, which was a scary prospect, I also think that it's amazing that somehow, my body instinctively knew what to do - I knew (despite being told the opposite) that something was up when his head was on its way out. Something made me want to labour on all fours (and it turns out that was the best position for Lukas).
Most of all - I didn't get the waterbirth I wanted, or the natural third stage... but I did it without drugs, just like I'd hoped I would (although I'm not sure as much through choice as circumstance in the end...) and really, none of it mattered once Lukas was in my arms.
The one thing I'd do differently (and my advice to anyone about to go through with it is) trust your body. Deep down, I knew there was no way I wasn't in labour. I just wish I'd have been more assertive.