NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

ugh, I wished I had a couple of days just to settle dd1. The baby is fine, but dd1 has graduated to a complete mess, hitting us, throwing food, tantrums, the works. And she gets lots of positive attention. Weekend is always a bit more challenging as interruption of usual routine, so I hope we fall into something better tomorrow. It's also a bit better when I have baby in the wrap, as I am more mobile and baby is out of sight. But yikes.

Right, girls, we have to remember the good things! Little glass of wine, not being pregnant anymore, hot chocolates with cream that are to be drunk in lovely coffee places, eventually travel to exotic places with perfectly well-behaved, white-clad children playing in the sun. Or thereabouts.

beepbeep, I think it could be surprise. Paula does sometimes the same and my milk sometimes comes in tto quickly and too much (and she sucks like mad sometimes). Did you try to lean backwards? Then the milk has to flow upwards which slows it down.

Morning all. I hope everyone had a nice settled night Toby was awake 9pm-midnight but besides that he's slept well. The DSs are at school now so nice to have a bit of peace after a chaotic weekend...

Comma2 I feel for you. It is hard for the other children. How old is your DD? I know it is easy to say but she will settle down and she will grow to love the baby. It is really hard for them coping with such upheavel and it is a huge deal to them. I found it very hard when DS2 was born coping with DS1 who wasn't even at preschool then so it was just me and both DSs at home every day all day. Last night I was looking back on my emails to DH when he was at work after DS2 was born and oh my god! I'd forgotten how hard it was! But all the effort we put into it is soooo worth it. When I look at my two DSs now I think how lovely they are and how fond on one another they are.

hey everyone

cant believe this time last week i was still pregnant! its mad how quickly life becomes normal with new baby, so far lexi has been a dream and as with most with other ds's therein lies main prob, finding toddler very high maintenace, overhyper, won't do a thing we say etc etc, feel guilty as at child minders for the day and its so nice just to have a chilled day with husband and sleeping baby...

right off to the pub for lunch, hopefully it will stop raining at some stage in november..

Thanks BBL It's good to know most all go through the same so is perfectly normal. DD is 22 m, and at home too. Not the easiest age anyway. She really is lovely most of the time. I can tell the baby is constantly on her mind, its the first thing she says in hte morning when I open her door, and in her little conversations with herself it crops up too.
I can drive again as off yesterday, so hope that lots of lpay ground trips will help.

Are there any child-rearing books you guys can really recommend? I am thinking about getting one about sibling rivalry, and I really like my Parent-Effectivness-Training book. Just I think that one's more relevant once they can talk and understand.

Hi all

Been lurking but not much posting going on as seem to finish the posts then need to feed/change nappy etc.!
We're doing well here, Ioan was 2 weeks old yesterday and we're off to be dishcharged from the midwife in an hour.
Last night wasn't too bad either, I seem to get up about 3 times in the night so not too bad for a newborn I think.
DS1 is much better now so I think it is only a matter of time and the dust settling with them. During the week is easier as he's still at nursery in the mornings so he gets some time for just him and sees his friends.

There's one called something like 'a hairbrush and two socks' about siblings. I read it when I had DS2.

There are also some nice books for children about new babies and change. There's one I really like called 'Changes' by errr oh gosh pregnancy brain can't remember. We bought DS1 'I'm a big brother now' when DS2 was born and he loved it.

I've asked for 'Siblings Without Rivalry' for Christmas as I've heard it's good.

Jealous of everyone whose babies are sleeping beautifully. Arthur was cluster-feeding between eight and half-past eleven, and then woke to nurse three times before DS1 bounded out of bed at 6.30. I still feel a bit funny and shaky from the food poisoning, and I don't really want to eat anything at all - I'm just so tired it's not funny. And the incision wound seems really painful today so I'm worried I did it a mischief while vomiting or lifting DS1 all over the place.

Hello ladies. Just wanted to say hi. It's so quiet on the ante-natal thread and I want to join yours !! Sorry, nothing other to say other than hi, and I hope sibling problems calm down soon Can't wait to be allowed on here properly soon (soon, please please let it be soon!!!!!)

Boo Katster you'll be here soon enough!

Tamlin so sorry to hear you're feeling rough still and things are hectic at home. I guess your body is trying to recover from the food poisoning at the same time as producing milk so not surprised it's making you feel worn out. Can you make your DH get some yummy soups in? Maybe they might be easier to eat whilst your appetite is recovering.
Ioan doesn't sleep for more than a 3 hour stretch at night so don't feel alone. I manage to feel human as DH gets up with DS1 and takes him to nursery so I can stay in bed until about 9am. The extra hour or two sleep from 7am to 9am does make all the difference. I'm also up 3 times in the night, probably for nearly an hour each time. Can anyone help you so you can go get an hour or two's sleep at any point?
The midwife told me today though that they do tend to settle more into day/night at around a month old so hopefully Arthur is just about to get to that point.
I will also revert to a formula bottle at 11pm if I'm on my knees as I know that will buy me a block of 4 hours sleep ...

kaster feel free to pop in whenever! You'll be here properly really soon I'm sure hope it all kicks off for you soon.

We got discharged from the midwife today - Ioan is now 9lbs 15oz and doing well. I had my tummy checked for the first time since his birth and luckily all is fine. Apparently the antibiotics I'm on for the bladder infection would also clear up anything womb related too.
Health visitor comes tomorrow and might do a hearing test - not sure what else she's doing, probably a cursory overview and giving me the details of the local clinic! Whilst I appreciate the staffing levels of midwifery and the nhs are stretched, it would have been nice to have a little more care through the post natal period. I spent 2.5 days in hospital and only saw a midwife twice, once to be discharged!

DS1 seems happier now with the new situation. DD is now being a hormonal stroppy teenager so it never stops in this house!! It would appear that my role here is milk maid one minute and teenage punchbag the next - don't remember this being in the advertising brochure when I signed up for motherhood?!!

scarlotti, I think the same about my postnatal care. I saw the midwife three times. Between the second and third time was almost a week. I had to call them several times as "worrying" things happened. I guess, I could have asked for more visits but usually I felt fine and especially on the visit days. But I do think they should come more often to be sure everything is fine.
Today Paula made two visitors leave... if not to say to flee . One of my friends is really a bit scared of babies and when Paula started to scream like made she suddenly started to get her things together and said she still had to do some shopping. I think the second one would normally have stayed but started to feel uncomfortable so left as well. I guess it was actually quite good as it got a bit easier to calm her.
Today she really hasn't slept as much as she does usually. Hopefully that means she will sleep well at night.

I'm just wondering, what time do you usually put yours in bed? Paula gets quite usually quite active in the evening, so we usually keep her with us until she falls asleep between 9 and sometimes 11. But we keep saying to bring her to bed earlier, we just don't seem able to do it.
I'm also trying to put her in her cot once during the day as it would be much darker and quieter in our bedroom. It worked really well when it happened accidentally (I put her there while going to the loo and found her asleep) but not when I put her there "on purpose"

Urisgurke lol at your visitor rushing off to go shopping!

At the moment I just put Toby back in his moses basket after every feed and he sometimes settles to sleep himself, sometimes not. If not, I pick him up and he might sleep on my shoulder for a bit / in my arms or we go for a walk if nothing else works! He's been really good so far but more unsettled today than previous days so lots of time in my lap. We 'put him to bed' at about 8.30/9pm (ie after a bath and feed then in the moses basket). It doesn't always work though as last night he was awake until 11/12pm (can't remember). Then he slept until 3am, then again until 8am which was pretty good!

Ursi lol at your visitors from here, too. They'll be the sweaty sort of new mom as soon as baby starts to bawl

Though talking about sweaty... when does it stop with the icky night sweats? Fairly unpleasant.

scarlotti I have no postnaatal care till a month after. Actually v happy with it, but have no complaints and thus no desire whatsoever to drag dds to doc office...

Tamlin that's the book I was going to get too.

Here's a tip from my nurse that worked wonders when I had Hepatits A with dd1 (from my lovely IL that cannot ever wash their (*&^ hands) and had bad throwing up/diarrhea for a week: eat oatmeal to keep the milk up! It does work for most women. I had it cold with milk and sugar, but any which way you can down some should be good.

Oh god the sweats. I thought that was just me. I am sweating like a pig at the moment. Is that normal then??

I really worry about being ill and having a new born (plus two others) to look after. I had gastric flu when DS1 was 12 weeks and it was hell on earth. He had it too. I just hope we manage to stay healthy for a bit...

In defence of my visitors: I really appreciate that the first one is actually visiting me despite this little burping, pooing and screaming person usually attached to my breast. I really think she is a bit scared of babys but still a good friend who will suffer to make life easier for me. And I think the second one felt like she had to leave... and she had terrible BHs (she is due in about a week)
BBL thanks for your info. I would like to put her to bed at around this time but today it doesn't seem too realistic... and that after a whole day with only little sleep. I think, it didn't help that she has been hold by her grandparents for about 4 days now.

BBL yes, perfectly normal. It should stop soon...or so I hope. I think with DD1 it lasted 2 weeks (and came with major weight loss, so has its good side ) It's the body getting rid of all the maternity extra fluid. Lovely, hu?

Urisgurke I was exactly the same before I had DS1. I was terrified of babies! Whenever anyone brought their new baby into work I'd stand and hover in the background and think 'oooh I hope I don't have to hold him / her'. When I married DH I told him 'I might not want children' and hey here we are with three! Life is strange.

Giggle BBL I think its so funny if somebody is terrified of a poor little baby,
but it does remind me that I was myself, having to hold one as a teenager- you don't come over too cool holding those little bologna loafes when you don't know where the spit cloth is (or don't know you might need one, for that matter) It doesn't help if everbody googles you expectantly...

btw, Esme spits a lot- does everybody have hat? DD1 did too, but my freind said hes didn't.

I've just been discharged from the midwives and she's left my delivery papers. According to them my labour was only 1hr 35mins (divided into three stages)! I'm confused. I thought labour started from the first contractions? If so they started 5 1/2 hours before delivery. Or have I got this wrong? Did I really have a 1hr 35min labour??

When the midwife came I felt so bad because I had to tell her I'd given up breast feeding and again the tears flowed. I just feel now that I should have tried a bit harder. Easy to say now when I feel less sore and tired but the problem with breast feeding is you can't go back and start again and Toby is our last baby (unless we have an accident).

Hi all,

Feeling a bit tired and emotional today. Millie up was up a lot last night and I had to get dh up in the end to deal with her whilst I got some sleep.

Ds was at nursery this morning so I thought I'd pop into town to look at some clothes as I am sick of my maternity clothes. Big mistake! Everything I tried on looked hideous and then I went into my local M & S to get some chocolate to cheer myself up and got insulted by the woman on the checkout. Basically, I go in there a lot and always got the 'your huge' comment when pregnant from the same woman that always seemed to serve me. Anyway, today I went in and she asks me how I am and I say great, had dd 3 weeks ago blah blah blah. Anyway, she looks at my tummy and says, ooh you've still got a baby bump, are you sure they didn't leave one in there, really loudly so the whole store can hear. I was so upset and burst into tears once I got into my car (wouldn't dream of crying in frount of the old bag!) Anyway, I rang dh to tell him and he has phoned up the store and complained to the manager, go dh! He is my hero

bbl don't feel bad about the breastfeeding, you gave it your best shot and at least you managed as long as you did, Toby got all the good stuff! In time none of this will matter, they'll be on the chicken nuggets and chocolate diet whilst we desperately try and get fruit and veg in them!

ursi that it so funny about your visitors, wonder what they'll be like when they have children?!

Found you all! Sorry for not posting earlier but has all been a mad rush.

Well, baby Esme decided to finally put in an appearance 10 days late and was born on 17th, and was 8lb 6oz. Had only seen the midwife that morning for another sweep which she couldn't do as the baby's head was so low it was in the way of the cervix. Induction was all booked for the friday, but that afternoon I had a bit of backache.

Went for a bath at 4.30 as I felt a bit stiff. Phoned DH at 5 to ask him to come home and look after DD1 as I felt so rough. Still didn't think this was it but phoned my parents to come and look after her just in case as was in quite a lot of pain. DH home at six, got to the hospital at 7 in v much pain now to be told at their first exam I was already at nine cm and it was too late for any pain relief but gas and air! Cue v much swearing from me, as well as disbelief - I honestly thought they were making it up and I seem to remember I got a bit hysterical, telling them it would be hours yet!

Our beautiful girl arrived just an hour and a half after we got there - they hadn't even filled in our paperwork!

Having waited so long for her to turn up it was all an incredible rush and so we didn't use a thing out of the labour bag and it was only once she was born we realised I was still in my top and bra as there hadn't been time to take them off. Twas all such a sudden shock! She was covered in poo so had to be observed for 12 hours but was absolutely fine.

Unfortunately I retained the placenta again - I tried for 2 hours but then began to haemmorhage so had to have the injection and it still wouldn;t come out, so despite having got her out with just gas and air, I ended up in theatre with a spinal to remove it. Although the midwives kept saying i should try harder to push it out, when I was in surgery the doctor said it hadn;t separated at all and would never have come out, so I'm trying not to feel too disappointed in myself.

They wanted to keep us in for another 24 hours but forgot to hook me up to antibiotic drip for the mrop. By the time they realised we were all packed and ready to go so after much pleading they let us home the following afternoon. Had a 2nd degree tear and quite a lot of torn ligaments on one side as the labour and birth were so shockingly quick
but we are all fine, and she is a very healthy gorgeous girl.

She's feeding well and has already back at her birth weight - the little piggy! Hope all well with you all xx

Comma2, Paula not only spits a lot, she also poos a lot, sometimes during nappy change. Last time my husband was pretty much covered and as he had just been holding her legs up to clean her, she was actually "shooting" it over the changing table on the carpet. Quite impressive. And when she spits she sometimes manages to leave the spit cloth clean but not my T-Shirt
BBL, you should really stop thinking about it. Toby doesn't bother if it is breast or bottle, as long as he gets his food!
About the labour time: For me it was the opposite, apparently I was two hours longer in labour than in hospital. So I really don't know how they calculate it. When I came into hospital contractions were 3min apart and I was 3cm dilated. But I had had contractions during the whole day

Yeah Tabbycat!

Urisgurke I'll try to stop dwelling...

Tabbycat, x-posted. How funny that you didn't believe them (I did neither but the other way round ) Glad to hear that you could leave so quickly and that Esme was fine despite the poo in the waters.

BBL, I hope I didn't sound insensitive. If so, I am sorry, I just meant to say that there is so much more than breastmilk to make sure that your child will be happy and healthy and feel the love of his/her mum. And you already have 2 (I think) great children who were mainly bottlefed and I am sure they don't bother and know that their mum loves them.